{"id":1130,"date":"2013-07-13T01:32:48","date_gmt":"2013-07-13T01:32:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=1130"},"modified":"2013-07-13T01:32:48","modified_gmt":"2013-07-13T01:32:48","slug":"10-human-relationships-in-yoga-vol-23-letters-on-yoga-volume-23","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/01-works-of-sri-aurobindo\/01-sabcl\/23-letters-on-yoga-volume-23\/10-human-relationships-in-yoga-vol-23-letters-on-yoga-volume-23","title":{"rendered":"-10_Human Relationships in Yoga.htm"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n
\n
\n

S<\/font>ECTION<\/font>
\nE<\/font>IGHT<\/font><\/b><\/p>\n


\nHuman Relationships in Yoga<\/font><\/b> <\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/font><\/p>\n

Y<\/font><\/b>OU<\/font>
\nseem not to have understood the principle of this yoga. The old yoga demanded a
\ncomplete renunciation extending to the giving up of the worldly life itself. This
\nyoga aims instead at a new and transformed life. But it insists as inexorably
\non a complete throwing away of desire and attachment in the mind, life and
\nbody. Its aim is to refound<\/span> life in the truth of the
\nspirit and for that purpose to transfer the roots of all we are and do from the
\nmind, life and body to a greater consciousness above the mind. That means that
\nin the new life all the connections must be founded on a spiritual intimacy and
\na truth quite other than any which supports our present connections. One must
\nbe prepared to renounce at the higher call what are spoken of as the natural
\naffections. Even if they are kept at all, it can only be with a change which
\ntransforms them altogether. But whether they are to be renounced or kept and
\nchanged must be decided not by the personal desires but by the truth above. All
\nmust be given up to the Supreme Master of the yoga. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The power that
\nworks in this yoga is of a thorough-going character and tolerates in the end
\nnothing great or small that is an obstacle to the Truth and its realisation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Personal relation is not a part
\nof the yoga. When one has the union with the Divine, then only can there be a
\ntrue spiritual relation with others.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The idea that all sadhaks must be
\naloof from each other and at daggers drawn is itself a preconceived idea that
\nmust be abandoned. Harmony and not strife is the law of yogic living. This
\npreconceived idea arises perhaps from the old notion of Nirvana as the aim; but
\nNirvana is not the aim here. The aim here is <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 803<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

fulfilment of the Divine in life
\nand for that, union and solidarity are indispensable. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ideal of the
\nyoga is that all should be centred in and around the Divine and the life of the
\nsadhaks must be founded on that firm foundation, their personal relations also
\nshould have the Divine for their centre. Moreover, all relations should pass
\nfrom the vital to the spiritual basis with the vital only as a form and
\ninstrument of the spiritual \u2013 this means that, from whatever relations they have
\nwith each other, all jealousy, strife, hatred, aversion, rancour and other evil
\nvital feelings should be abandoned, for they can be no part of the spiritual
\nlife. So, also, all egoistic love and attachment will have to disappear \u2013 the
\nlove that loves only for the ego’s sake and, as soon as the ego is hurt and
\ndissatisfied, ceases to love or even cherishes rancour and hate. There must be
\na real living and lasting unity behind the love. It is understood of course
\nthat such things as sexual impurity must disappear also. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That is the
\nideal, but as for the way of attainment, it may differ for different people.
\nOne way is that in which one leaves everything else to follow the Divine alone.
\nThis does not mean an aversion for anybody any more than it means aversion for
\nthe world and life. It only means an absorption in one’s central aim, with the
\nidea that once that is attained it will be easy to found all relations on the
\ntrue basis, to become truly united with others in the heart and the spirit and
\nthe life, united in the spiritual truth and in the Divine. The other way is to
\ngo forward from where one is, seeking the Divine centrally and subordinating
\nall else to that, but not putting everything else aside, rather seeking to
\ntransform gradually and progressively whatever is capable of such
\ntransformation. All the things that are not wanted in the relation \u2013 sex
\nimpurity, jealousy, anger, egoistic demand \u2013 drop away as the inner being grows
\npurer and is replaced by the unity of soul with soul and the binding together
\nof the social life in the hoop of the Divine. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is not that
\none cannot have relations with people outside the circle of the sadhaks, but
\nthere too if the spiritual life grows within, it must necessarily affect the
\nrelation and spiritualise<\/span> it on the sadhak’s<\/span> side. And there must be no such attachment as <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 804<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

would make the relation an
\nobstacle or a rival to the Divine. Attachment to family etc. often is like that
\nand, if so, it falls away from the sadhak. That is an exigence<\/span>
\nwhich, I think, should not be considered excessive. All that, however, can be
\nprogressively done; a severing of existing relations is necessary for some, it
\nis not so for all. A transformation, however gradual, is indispensable, \u2013
\nseverance where severance is the right thing to do. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

P.S. I must repeat also that each
\ncase differs \u2013 one rule for all is not practical or practicable. What is needed
\nby each for his spiritual progress is the one desideratum to be held in view.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Absence of love and fellow-feeling
\nis not necessary for nearness to the Divine; on the contrary, a sense of
\ncloseness and oneness with others is a part of the divine consciousness into
\nwhich the sadhak enters by nearness to the Divine and the feeling of oneness
\nwith the Divine. An entire rejection of all relations is indeed the final aim
\nof the Mayavadin<\/span>, and in the ascetic yoga an entire
\nloss of all relations of friendship and affection and attachment to the world
\nand its living beings would be regarded as a promising sign of advance towards
\nliberation, Moksha; but even there, I think, a feeling of oneness and
\nunattached spiritual sympathy for all is at least a penultimate stage, like the
\ncompassion of the Buddhist, before the turning to Moksha or Nirvana. In this
\nyoga the feeling of unity with others, love, universal joy and Ananda are an
\nessential part of the liberation and perfection which are the aim of the
\nsadhana. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the other
\nhand, human society, human friendship, love, affection, fellow-feeling are
\nmostly and usually \u2013 not entirely or in all cases \u2013 founded on a vital basis
\nand are ego-held at their centre. It is because of the pleasure of being loved,
\nthe pleasure of enlarging the ego by contact, mutual penetration of spirit,
\nwith another, the exhilaration of the vital interchange which feeds their
\npersonality that men usually love \u2013 and there are also other and still more
\nselfish motives that mix with this essential movement. There are of course
\nhigher spiritual, psychic, mental, vital <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 805<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

elements that come in or can come
\nin; but the whole thing is very mixed, even at its best. This is the reason why
\nat a certain stage with or without apparent reason the world and life and human
\nsociety and relations and philanthropy (which is as ego-ridden as the rest)
\nbegin to pall. There is sometimes an ostensible reason \u2013 a disappointment of
\nthe surface vital, the withdrawal of affection by others, the perception that
\nthose loved or men generally are not what one thought them to be and a host of
\nother causes; but often the cause is a secret disappointment of some part of
\nthe inner being, not translated or not well translated into the mind, because
\nit expected from these things something which they cannot give. It is the case
\nwith many who turn or are pushed to the spiritual life. For some it takes the
\nform of a vairāgya<\/i><\/span>
\nwhich drives them towards ascetic indifference and gives the urge towards
\nMoksha. For us, what we hold to be necessary is that the mixture should
\ndisappear and that the consciousness should be established on a purer level
\n(not only spiritual and psychic but a purer and higher mental, vital, physical
\nconsciousness) in which there is not this mixture. There one would feel the
\ntrue Ananda of oneness and love and sympathy and fellowship, spiritual and
\nself-existent in its basis but expressing itself through the other parts of the
\nnature. If that is to happen, there must obviously be a change; the old form of
\nthese movements must drop off and leave room for a new and higher self to
\ndisclose its own way of expression and realisation of itself and of the Divine
\nthrough these things \u2013 that is the inner truth of the matter. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I take it
\ntherefore that the condition you describe is a period of transition and change,
\nnegative in its beginning, as these movements often are at first, so as to
\ncreate a vacant space for the new positive to appear and live in it and fill
\nit. But the vital, not having a long continued or at all sufficient or complete
\nexperience of what is to fill the vacancy, feels only the loss and regrets it
\neven while another part of the being, another part even of the vital, is ready
\nto let go what is disappearing and does not yearn to keep it. If it were not
\nfor this movement of the vital, (which in your case has been very strong and
\nlarge and avid of life), the disappearance of these things would, at least
\nafter the first sense of void, bring only a feeling of peace, relief and a
\nstill expectation of <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 806<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

greater things. What is intended
\nin the first place to fill the void was indicated in the peace and joy which
\ncame to you as the touch of Shiva \u2013 naturally, this would not be all but a
\nbeginning, a basis for a new self, a new consciousness, an activity of a
\ngreater nature; as I told you, it is a deep spiritual calm and peace that is
\nthe only stable foundation for a lasting Bhakti and Ananda. In that new
\nconsciousness there would be a new basis for relations with others; for an
\nascetic dryness or isolated loneliness cannot be your spiritual destiny since
\nit is not consonant with your Swabhava which is made for joy, largeness,
\nexpansion, a comprehensive movement of the life-force. Therefore do not be
\ndiscouraged; wait upon the purifying movement of Shiva.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have always said that the vital
\nis indispensable for the divine or spiritual action \u2013 without it there can be
\nno complete expression, no realisation in life \u2013 hardly even any realisation in
\nsadhana. When I speak of the vital mixture or of the obstructions, revolts,
\netc. of the vital, it is the unregenerated outer vital full of desire and ego
\nand the lower passions of which I speak. I could say the same against the mind
\nand the physical when they obstruct or oppose, but precisely because the vital
\nis so powerful and indispensable, its obstruction, opposition or refusal of
\ncooperation is most strikingly effective and its wrong mixtures are more
\ndangerous to the sadhana. That is why I have always insisted on the dangers of
\nthe unregenerated vital and the necessity of mastery and purification there. It
\nis not because I hold, like the Sannyasis, the vital and its life-power to be a
\nthing to be condemned and rejected in its very nature. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Affection, love,
\ntenderness are in their nature psychic, \u2013 the vital has them because the
\npsychic is trying to express itself through the vital. It is through the emotional
\nbeing that the psychic most easily expresses, for it stands just behind it in
\nthe heart centre. But it wants these things to be pure. Not that it rejects the
\noutward expression through the vital and the physical, but as the psychic being
\nis the form of the soul, it naturally feels the attraction of soul to soul, the
\nunion of soul with soul as the <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 807<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

things that are to it most
\nabiding and concrete. Mind, vital, body are means of expression and very
\nprecious means of expression, but the inner life is for the soul the first
\nthing, the deepest reality, and these have to be subordinated to it and
\nconditioned by it, \u2013 its expression, its instruments and channel. I do not
\nthink that in my emphasis on the inner things, on the psychic and spiritual, I
\nam saying anything new, strange or unintelligible. These things have always
\nbeen stressed from the beginning and the more the human being is evolved, the
\nmore they take on importance. I do not see how yoga can be possible without
\nthis premier stress on the inner life, on the soul and the spirit. The emphasis
\non the mastery of the vital, its subordination and subjection to the spiritual
\nand the psychic is also nothing new, strange or exorbitant. It has been
\ninsisted on always for any kind of spiritual life; even the yogas which seek
\nmost to use the vital, like certain forms of Vaishnavism, yet insist on the
\npurification and the total offering of it to the Divine. All realisation of the
\nDivine is an inner realisation, only, here the soul offers itself through the
\nemotional being. The soul or psychic being is not something unheard of or
\nincomprehensible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Human affection is obviously
\nunreliable because it is so much based upon selfishness and desire; it is a
\nflame of the ego sometimes turbid and misty, sometimes more clear and brightly coloured<\/span> \u2013 sometimes tamasic based on instinct and habit,
\nsometimes rajasic and fed by passion or the cry for vital interchange,
\nsometimes more sattwic and trying to be or look to itself disinterested. But
\nfundamentally it depends on a personal need or a return of some kind inward or
\noutward and when the need is not satisfied or the return ceases or is not
\ngiven, it most often diminishes or dies or exists only as a tepid or troubled
\nremnant of habit from the past or else turns for satisfaction elsewhere. The
\nmore intense it is, the more it is apt to be troubled by tumults, clashes,
\nquarrels, egoistic disturbances of all kinds, selfishness, exactions, lapses
\neven to rage and hatred, ruptures. It is not that these affections cannot last
\n\u2013 tamasic instinctive affections last<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 808<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

because of habit in spite of
\neverything dividing the persons, e.g. certain family affections; rajasic
\naffections can last sometimes in spite of all disturbances and
\nincompatibilities and furious ruptures because one has a vital need of the
\nother and clings because of that or because both have that need and are
\nconstantly separating to return and returning to separate or proceeding from
\nquarrel to reconciliation and from reconciliation to quarrel; sattwic
\naffections last very often from duty to the ideal or with some other support
\nthough they may lose their keenness or intensity or brightness. But the true
\nreliability is there only when the psychic element in human affections becomes
\nstrong enough to colour<\/span> or dominate the rest. For
\nthat reason friendship is or rather can oftenest be the most durable of the
\nhuman affections because there there<\/span> is less
\ninterference of the vital and even though a flame of the ego it can be a quiet
\nand pure fire giving always its warmth and light. Nevertheless reliable
\nfriendship is almost always with a very few; to have a horde of loving,
\nunselfishly faithful friends is a phenomenon so rare that it can be safely
\ntaken as an illusion… In any case human affection whatever its value has its
\nplace, because through it the psychic being gets the emotional experiences it
\nneeds until it is ready to prefer the true to the apparent, the perfect to the
\nimperfect, the divine to the human. As the consciousness has to rise to the
\nhigher level so the activities of the heart also have to rise to that higher
\nlevel and change their basis and character. Yoga is the founding of all life
\nand consciousness in the Divine, so also love and affection must be rooted in
\nthe Divine and a spiritual and psychic oneness in the Divine must be their
\nfoundation \u2013 to reach the Divine first leaving other things aside or to seek
\nthe Divine alone is the straight road towards that change. That means no
\nattachment\u2014it need not mean turning affection into disaffection or chill
\nindifference. But X seems to want to take his vital emotions just as they are \u2013
\ntels<\/i><\/span> quells<\/i> \u2013 into the Divine \u2013 let him try
\nand don’t bother him with criticisms and lectures; if it can’t be done he will
\nhave to find it out for himself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is not because of your nature
\nor evil destiny that the vital <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 809<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

cannot find the satisfaction it
\nexpected from relations with others. These relations can never give a full or
\npermanent satisfaction; if they did, there would be no reason why the human
\nbeing would ever seek the Divine. He would remain satisfied in the ordinary
\nearth life. It is only when the Divine is found and the consciousness lifted up
\ninto the true consciousness that the true relations with others can come. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I said
\nthere was no harm, I meant that it was better to tell the Mother what was in
\nyour mind than to keep it moving in yourself. But once told, all should be put
\naway from the mind and it should recover its quietude.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

These movements are part of man’s
\nignorant vital nature. The love which human beings feel for one another is also
\nusually an egoistic vital love and these other movements, claim, demand,
\njealousy, abhimāna<\/i>, anger, etc.,
\nare its common accompaniments. There is no place for them in yoga \u2013 nor in true
\nlove, psychic or divine. In yoga all love should be turned towards the Divine
\nand to human or other beings only as vessels of the Divine \u2013 abhimāna<\/i> and the rest should have
\nno place in it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All that of course is not love,
\nbut self-love. Jealousy is only an ugly form of self-love. That is what people
\ndo not understand \u2013 they even think that demands and jealousy and wounded
\nvanity are signs of love or at least natural attendants of it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The higher vital movement is more
\nrefined and large in motion than that of the ordinary vital. It stresses
\nemotion rather than sensation and desire, but it is not free from demand and
\nthe desire of possession. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 810<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

Relations which are part of the
\nordinary vital nature in human life are of no value in the spiritual life \u2013
\nthey rather interfere with the progress; for the mind and vital also should be
\nwholly turned towards the Divine. Moreover, the purpose of sadhana is to enter
\ninto a spiritual consciousness and base everything on a new spiritual basis
\nwhich can only be done when one has entered into complete unity with the
\nDivine. Meanwhile one has to have a calm goodwill for all, but relations of a
\nvital kind do not help \u2013 for they keep the consciousness down on a vital basis
\nand prevent its rising to a higher level.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Regarding your question about a
\ncomplementary soul and marriage, the answer is easy to give; the way of the
\nspiritual life lies for you in one direction and marriage lies in quite another
\nand opposite. All talk about a complementary soul is a camouflage with which
\nthe mind tries to cover the sentimental, sensational and physical wants of the
\nlower vital nature. It is that vital nature in you which puts the question and
\nwould like an answer reconciling its desires and demands with the call of the
\ntrue soul in you. But it must not expect a sanction for any such incongruous
\nreconciliation from here. The way of the supramental yoga is clear; it lies not
\nthrough concession to these things, \u2013 not, in your case, through satisfaction,
\nunder a spiritual cover if possible, of its craving for the comforts and
\ngratifications of a domestic and conjugal life and the enjoyment of the
\nordinary emotional desires and physical passions, \u2013 but through the
\npurification and transformation of the forces which these movements pervert and
\nmisuse. Not these human and animal demands, but the divine Ananda which is
\nabove and beyond them and which the indulgence of these degraded forms would
\nprevent from descending, is the great thing that the aspiration of the vital
\nbeing must demand in the sadhak.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A human vital interchange cannot
\nbe a true support for the<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 811<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

sadhana and is, on the contrary, sure
\nto impair and distort it, leading to self-deception in the consciousness and a
\nwrong turn of the emotional being and vital nature.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What you write about the family
\nties is perfectly correct. It creates an unnecessary interchange and comes in the
\nway of a complete turning to the Divine. Relations after taking up yoga should
\nbe less based on a physical origin or the habits of the physical consciousness
\nand more and more on the basis of sadhana \u2013 of sadhak with sadhaks, of others
\nas souls traveling the same path or children of the Mother than in the ordinary
\nway or with the old viewpoint.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When one enters the spiritual
\nlife, the family ties which belong to the ordinary nature fall away \u2013 one
\nbecomes indifferent to the old things. This indifference is a release. There
\nneed be no harshness in it at all. To remain tied to the old physical
\naffections would mean to remain tied to the ordinary nature and that would
\nprevent the spiritual progress.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The attachment to parents belongs
\nto the ordinary physical nature \u2013 it has nothing to do with Divine Love.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It [the child’s indebtedness to
\nhis father for bringing him up] is a law of human society, not a law of Karma.
\nThe child did not ask the father to bring him into the world \u2013 and if the
\nfather has done it for his own pleasure, it is the least he can do to bring up
\nthe child. All these are social relations (and it is not at all a one-sided
\ndebt of the child to the father, either), but whatever they are, they cease
\nonce one takes to the spiritual life. For the <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 812<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

spiritual life does not at all
\nrest on the external physical relations; it is the Divine alone with whom one
\nhas then to do.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The inner being turned to the
\nDivine naturally draws away from old vital relations and outer movements and
\ncontacts till it can bring a new consciousness into the external being.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The movement of which you speak
\nis not psychic but emotive. It is a vital emotive force that you put out and waste.
\nIt is also harmful because, while on the one side you try to reject a past
\nvital relation or tie with these people, you by this movement re-establish in
\nanother way a vital relation with them. If there was anything wrong in your
\nfirst movement, this is quite a false way of remedying the defect. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Certainly, it
\nwould be better to reject without any violent feeling against any person,
\nbecause the violence is a sign of a certain weakness in the vital which must be
\ncorrected \u2013 not for any other reason. The rejection should be quiet, firm,
\nself-assured, decisive; it will then become radical and effective.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is as the love of the Divine
\ngrows that the other things cease to trouble the mind.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The influence of the love for the
\nDivine when it takes hold of any part is to turn it towards the Divine \u2013 as you
\ndescribe it \u201cconcentration on the Mother\u201d \u2013 and in the end all is gathered and
\nharmonised around this central turn of the being. The difficulty is with
\nmechanical parts of the being in which the old thoughts go on recurring by
\nhabit. If the concentration continues to grow, this becomes a thing of little
\nimportance at the circumference of <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Page \u2013 813<\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

the mind and in the end drops
\naway to be replaced by things that belong to the new consciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The inner loneliness can only be
\ncured by the inner experience of union with the Divine; no human association
\ncan fill the void. In the same way, for the spiritual life the harmony with
\nothers must be founded not on mental and vital affinities, but on the divine
\nconsciousness and the union with the Divine. When one feels the Divine and
\nfeels others in the Divine, then the real harmony comes. Meanwhile what there
\ncan be is the goodwill and unity founded on the feeling of a common divine goal
\nand the sense of being all children of the Mother…. Real harmony can come
\nonly from a psychic or a spiritual basis.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To be alone with the Divine is
\nthe highest of all privileged states for the sadhak, for it is that in which
\ninwardly he comes nearest to the Divine and can make all existence a communion
\nin the chamber of the heart as well as in the temple of the universe. Moreover
\nthat is the beginning and base of the real oneness with all, for it establishes
\nthat oneness in its true base, on the Divine, for it is in the Divine that he
\nmeets and unites with all and no longer in a precarious interchange of the
\nmental and vital ego. So do not fear loneliness but put your trust in the
\nMother and go forward on the Path in her strength and Grace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The love of the sadhak should be
\nfor the Divine. It is only when he has that fully that he can love others in
\nthe right way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To give oneself to an outsider is
\nto go out from the atmosphere of sadhana and give oneself to the outer world forces. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 814<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

One can have a
\npsychic feeling of love for someone, a universal love for all creatures, but
\none has to give oneself only to the Divine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It cannot be said that these
\naffinities are either bad or good in a general way. It depends on the person,
\nthe effects and many other things. As a general rule, all these affinities have
\nto be surrendered to the Divine along with the rest of the old nature, so that
\nonly what is in harmony with the Divine Truth can be kept and transformed for its
\nwork in you. All relations with others must be relations in the Divine and not
\nof the old personal nature.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There is a love in which the
\nemotion is turned towards the Divine in an increasing receptivity and growing
\nunion. What it receives from the Divine it pours out on others, but freely
\nwithout demanding a return \u2013 if you are capable of that, then that is the
\nhighest and most satisfying way to love.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A personal relation is formed
\nwhen there is an exclusive mutual looking to each other. The rule about
\npersonal relations in this yoga is this: (1) All personal relations to
\ndisappear in the single relation between the sadhak and the Divine: (2) All
\npersonal (psychic-spiritual) relations to proceed from the Divine Mother,
\ndetermined by her, and to be part of the single relation with the Divine
\nMother. In so far as it keeps to this double rule and admits no physical
\nindulgence or vital deformation or mixture, a personal relation can be there.
\nBut since as yet the supramental has not taken possession but is only
\ndescending and there is still struggle in the vital and physical levels, there
\nmust be a great carefulness such as would not be necessary if the supramental
\ntransformation were already there. Both have to be in direct relation with the
\nMother and in a total dependence on her and to<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 815<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

see that that remains and that
\nnothing diminishes its totality or cuts across it in the least degree.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The only relation permissible between
\na sadhak and sadhika here is the same as between a sadhak and sadhak or between
\na sadhika and sadhika \u2013 a friendly relation as between followers of the same
\npath of yoga and children of the Mother.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In a general way the only method
\nfor succeeding in having between a man and a woman the free and natural yogic
\nrelations that should exist between a sadhak and a sadhika in this yoga is to
\nbe able to meet each other without thinking at all that one is a man and
\nanother a woman \u2013 both are simply human beings, both sadhaks, both striving to
\nserve the Divine and seeking the Divine alone and none else. Have that fully in
\nyourself and no difficulty is likely to come.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is meant that you should have
\nthe relation of sadhaks with each other, one of goodwill and friendly feeling,
\nbut not any special relation of a vital character. If there is anyone you
\ncannot meet without such a vital relation coming up, then only it is not
\nadvisable to meet him or her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As for turning all to the Divine,
\nthat is a counsel of perfection for those who don’t care to carry any luggage.
\nBut otherwise friendship between man and man or man and woman or woman and
\nwoman is not forbidden, provided it is the true thing and sex does not come in
\nand also provided it does not turn one away from the goal. If the central aim
\nis strong, that is sufficient….\u00a0 <\/span>When I
\nspoke of personal relation, I certainly did not mean pure <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 816<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

indifference, for indifference
\ndoes not create a relation: it tends to non-relation altogether. Emotional
\nfriendship need not be an obstacle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is certainly easier to have
\nfriendship between man and man or between woman and woman than between man and
\nwoman, because there the sexual intrusion is normally absent. In a friendship between
\nman and woman the sexual turn can at any moment come in a subtle or in a direct
\nway and produce perturbations. But there is no impossibility of friendship
\nbetween man and woman pure of this element; such friendships can exist and have
\nalways existed. All that is needed is that the lower vital should not look in
\nat the back door or be permitted to enter. There is often a harmony between a
\nmasculine and a feminine nature, an attraction or an affinity which rests on
\nsomething other than any open or covert lower vital (sexual) basis \u2013 it depends
\nsometimes predominantly on the mental or the psychic or on the higher vital,
\nsometimes on a mixture of these for its substance. In such a case friendship is
\nnatural and there is little chance of other elements coming in to pull it
\ndownwards or break it. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is also a
\nmistake to think that the vital alone has warmth and the psychic is something
\nfrigid without any flame in it. A clear limpid goodwill is a very good and
\ndesirable thing. But that is not what is meant by psychic love. Love is love
\nand not merely goodwill. Psychic love can have a warmth and a flame as intense
\nand more intense than the vital, only it is a pure fire, not dependent on the
\nsatisfaction of ego-desire or on the eating up of the fuel it embraces. It is a
\nwhite flame, not a red one; but white heat is not inferior to the red variety
\nin its ardour. It is true that the psychic love does not usually get its full
\nplay in human relations and human nature; it finds the fullness of its fire and
\necstasy more easily when it is lifted towards the Divine. In the human relation
\nthe psychic love gets mixed up with other elements which seek at once to use it
\nand overshadow it. It gets an outlet for its own full intensities only at rare
\nmoments. Otherwise it comes in only as an element, but even so it contributes
\nall the <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 817<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

higher things in a love
\nfundamentally vital \u2013 all the finer sweetness, tenderness, fidelity,
\nself-giving, self-sacrifice, reachings<\/span> of soul to
\nsoul, idealising<\/span> sublimations that lift up human love
\nbeyond itself, come from the psychic. If it could dominate and govern and
\ntransmute the other elements, mental, vital, physical, of human love, then love
\ncould be on the earth some reflection or preparation of the real thing, an
\nintegral union of the soul and its instruments in a dual life. But even some
\nimperfect appearance of that is rare. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our view is that
\nthe normal thing is in yoga for the entire flame of the nature to turn towards
\nthe Divine and the rest must wait for the true basis: to build higher things on
\nthe sand and mire of the ordinary consciousness is not safe. That does not
\nnecessarily exclude friendships or comradeships, but these must be subordinate
\naltogether to the central fire. If anyone makes meanwhile the relation with the
\nDivine his one absorbing aim, that is quite natural and gives the full force to
\nthe sadhana. Psychic love finds itself wholly when it is the radiation of the
\ndiviner consciousness for which we are seeking; till then it is difficult for
\nit to put out its undimmed integral self and figure. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

P.S. Mind, vital, physical are
\nproperly instruments for the soul and spirit; when they work for themselves
\nthen they produce ignorant and imperfect things \u2013 if they can be made into
\nconscious instruments of the psychic and the spirit, then they get their own
\ndiviner fulfilment; that is the idea contained in what we call transformation
\nin this yoga.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Friendship or affection is not
\nexcluded from the yoga. Friendship with the Divine is a recognised<\/span>
\nrelation in the sadhana. Friendships between the sadhaks exist and are
\nencouraged by the Mother. Only, we seek to found them on a surer basis than
\nthat on which the bulk of human friendships are insecurely founded. It is
\nprecisely because we hold friendship, brotherhood, love to be sacred things
\nthat we want this change \u2013 because we do not want to see them broken at every
\nmoment by the movements of <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 818<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

the ego, soiled and spoiled and
\ndestroyed by the passions, jealousies, treacheries to which the vital is prone
\n\u2013 it is to make them truly sacred and secure that we want them rooted in the
\nsoul, founded on the rock of the Divine. Our yoga is not an ascetic yoga: it
\naims at purity, but not at a cold austerity. Friendship and love are
\nindispensable notes in the harmony to which we aspire. It is not a vain dream,
\nfor we have seen that even in imperfect conditions, when a little of the
\nindispensable element is there at the very root, the thing is possible. It is
\ndifficult and the old obstacles still cling obstinately? But no victory can be
\nwon without a fixed fidelity to the aim and a long effort. There is no other
\nway than to persevere.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In yoga friendship can remain but
\nattachment has to fall away or any such engrossing affection as would keep one
\ntied to the ordinary life and consciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All attachment is a hindrance to
\nsadhana. Goodwill you should have for all, psychic kindness for all, but no
\nvital attachment.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you expect a return for your kindness,
\nyou are bound to be disappointed. It is only those who give love or kindness
\nfor its own sake without expecting a return who escape from this experience. A
\nrelation also can be established on a sure basis only when it is free from
\nattachment or when it is predominantly psychic on both sides.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There is a fundamental psychic
\nfeeling which is the same for all; but there can also be a special psychic
\nfeeling for one or another. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 819<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

No \u2013 psychic love does not
\nexclude discrimination.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It depends on what you mean by
\npsychic \u201clove\u201d. One can have a psychic feeling for all beings; it does not
\ndepend on sex nor has it anything sexual in it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even in the world there have been
\nrelations between man and woman in which sex could not intervene \u2013 purely
\npsychic relations. The consciousness of sex difference would be there no doubt,
\nbut without coming in as a source of desire or disturbance into the relation.
\nBut naturally it needs a certain psychic development before that is possible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is difficult to define its
\nlimits or to recognise it. For even when there is the psychic love for another
\nperson, it gets in the human being so mixed up with the vital that it is the
\ncommonest thing to justify a vital love by claiming for it a psychic character.
\nOne could say that psychic love is distinguished by an essential purity and
\nselflessness \u2013 but the vital can put on a very brilliant imitation of that
\ncharacter, when it likes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our experience is that it is only
\nwhen both are in the true consciousness centred round the Divine that there is
\nsome chance of a true meeting in the Divine. Otherwise, with the personal
\nrelation that forms there comes in either disappointment and alienation or else
\nreactions that are not pure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But that is the nature of human
\nvital affection, it is all selfishness <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 820<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

disguised as love. Sometimes when
\nthere is a strong vital passion, need or tie, then the person is ready to do
\nanything to retain the affection of the other. But it is only when the psychic
\nis able to get into the movement that there is real unselfish affection or at
\nleast some element of it. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The phenomenon of which you speak
\nis normal to human nature. People are drawn together or one is drawn to another
\nby a certain feeling of affinity, of agreement or of attraction between some
\npart of one’s own nature and some part of the other’s nature. At first this
\nonly is felt; one sees all that is good or pleasant to one in the other’s
\nnature and even attributes, perhaps, qualities to him that are not there or not
\nso much there as one thinks. But with closer acquaintance other parts of the
\nnature are felt with which one is not in affinity \u2013 perhaps there is a clash of
\nideas or opposition of feelings or conflict of two egos. If there is a strong
\nlove or friendship of a lasting character, then one may overcome these
\ndifficulties of contact and arrive at a harmonising or accommodation; but very
\noften this is not there or the disagreement is so acute as to counteract the
\ntendency of accommodation or else the ego gets so hurt as to recoil. Then it is
\nquite possible for one to begin to see too much and exaggerate the faults of
\nthe other or to attribute things to him of a bad or unpleasant character that
\nare not there. The whole view can change, the good feeling change into
\nill-feeling, alienation, even enmity or antipathy. This is always happening in
\nhuman life. The opposite also happens, but less easily \u2013 i.e. the change from
\nill-feeling to good feeling, from opposition to harmony. But of course
\nill-opinion or ill-feeling towards a person need not arise from this cause
\nalone. It happens from many causes, instinctive dislike, jealousy, conflicting
\ninterests, etc. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One must try to
\nlook calmly on others, not overstress either virtues or defects, without
\nill-feeling or misunderstanding or injustice, with a calm mind and vision.<\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 821<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

It is the way that vital love
\nusually takes when there is no strong psychic force to correct and uphold it.
\nAfter the first vital glow is over, the incompatibility of the two egos begins
\nto show itself and there is more and more strain in the relations \u2013 for one or
\nboth the demands of the other become intolerable to the vital part, there is
\nconstant irritation and the claim is felt as a burden and a yoke. Naturally in
\na life of sadhana there is no room for vital relations \u2013 they are a
\nstumbling-block preventing the wholesale turning of the nature towards the
\nDivine.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

II<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A quietude in all the parts and
\nan intense aspiration is what came to you. In the inner meditation you felt the
\ncontact with the Mother as a result and afterwards your inner being rose up
\ntowards the planes of peace and wideness and light above and came back to its
\ncentral place in the heart. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The inequality
\nof feelings towards others, liking and disliking, is ingrained in the nature of
\nthe human vital. This is because some harmonise with one’s own vital
\ntemperament, others do not; also there is the vital ego which gets displeased
\nwhen it is hurt or when things do not go or people do not act according to its
\npreferences or its idea of what they should do. In the self above there is a
\nspiritual calm and equality, a goodwill to all or at a certain stage a quiet
\nindifference to all except the Divine; in the psychic there is an equal
\nkindness or love to all fundamentally, but there may be special relations with
\none \u2013 but the vital is always unequal and full of likes and dislikes. By the
\nsadhana the vital must be quieted down; it must receive from the self above its
\nquiet goodwill and equality to all things and from the psychic its general
\nkindness or love. This will come, but it may take time to come. Meanwhile you
\nhave to strengthen the ideas which you express in the letter, \u2013 for they are
\ntrue psychic ideas, \u2013 and they will help you towards this aim. You must get rid
\nof all inner as well as all outer movements of anger, impatience or dislike. If
\nthings go wrong or are done wrongly, you will simply say, \u201cThe Mother knows\u201d
\nand go on quietly doing .<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 822<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

or getting things done as well as
\nyou can without friction. At a later period we will show you how to use the
\nMother’s force so that things may go better, but first you must get your inner
\npoise in a quiet vital, for only so can the Force be used with its full
\npossible success.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Work is always best done in
\nsilence except so far as it is necessary to speak for the work itself.
\nConversation is best kept for leisure hours. So nobody shall object to your
\nsilence during work.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For the rest
\nwhat you should do is to keep your right attitude towards the others and not
\nallow yourself to be upset, irritated or displeased by anything they may say or
\ndo \u2013 in other words keep the samatā<\/i>
\nand universal goodwill proper to a sadhak of yoga. If you do that and still others
\nget upset or displeased, you must not mind as you will not be responsible for
\ntheir wrong reaction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have read your letter and I
\nunderstand now what it is that you find trying \u2013 but they do not seem to us
\nsuch serious things as to be rightly felt as a cause of disturbance. They are
\nthe kind of inconveniences that one always has when people live and work
\ntogether. It arises from a misunderstanding between two minds or two wills,
\neach pulling his own way and feeling hurt or vexed if the other does not
\nfollow. This can only be cured by a change of consciousness \u2013 for when one goes
\ninto a deeper consciousness, first, one sees the cause of these things and is
\nnot troubled, \u2013 one acquires an understanding, patience and tolerance that
\nmakes one free from vexation and other reactions. If both or all grow in
\nconsciousness, then there arises a mental understanding of each other’s
\nviewpoints which makes it easier to bring in harmony and smooth working. It is
\nthis that should be sought by the change within \u2013 to create the same harmony
\nfrom outside by exterior means is not so easy, as the human mind is stiff in
\nits perceptions and the human vital insistent on its own way of action. Let
\nthis be your main will \u2013 to grow yourself <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 823<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

within and let the clearer and
\ndeeper consciousness come and have a good will for the same change to come in
\nothers so that charity and harmony may come in the place of friction and
\nmisunderstanding.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, I have said already that
\nquarrels, cuttings are not a part of sadhana: the clashes and friction you
\nspeak of are, just as in the outside world, rubbings of the vital ego.
\nAntagonisms, antipathies, dislikes, quarrellings can no more be proclaimed as
\npart of sadhana than sex-impulses or acts can be part of sadhana. Harmony,
\ngoodwill, forbearance, equanimity are necessary ideals in the relation of
\nsadhak with sadhak. One is not bound to mix, but if one keeps to oneself, it
\nshould be for reasons of sadhana, not out of other motives: moreover, it should
\nbe without any sense of superiority or contempt for others…. If somebody
\nfinds that association with another for any reason raises undesirable vital
\nfeelings in him or her \u2013 he or she can certainly withdraw from that association
\nas a matter of prudence until he or she gets over the weakness. But ostentation
\nof avoidance or public cuttings are not included in the necessity and betray
\nfeelings that equally ought to be overcome.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

These results are not a
\npunishment, they are a natural result of yielding to egoism. All quarrels
\nproceed from egoism which pushes its own opinion and affirms its own
\nimportance, considering that it is right and everybody else wrong and thus
\ncreates anger and sense of injury etc. These things must not be indulged, but
\nrejected at once.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I would ask you not to let
\nresentment or anything else rise or dictate your conduct. Put these things
\naside and see that peace within and the seeking of the Divine are the one thing
\nimportant <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 824<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

\u2013 these clashes being only spurts
\nof the ego. Turn yourself in the one direction, but for the rest keep a quiet
\ngoodwill to all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you want to have knowledge or
\nsee all as brothers or have peace, you must think less of yourself, your
\ndesires, feelings, people’s treatment of you, and think more of the Divine \u2013
\nliving for the Divine, not for yourself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You have now taken the right
\nattitude, and if you keep it all will go better. It is to the divine Mother
\nthat you have come for yoga, not for the old kind of life. You should also
\nregard this as an Ashram, not an ordinary samsāra<\/i><\/span>, and in your
\ndealings with others here strive to conquer anger, self-assertion and pride,
\nwhatever may be their attitude or behaviour<\/span> towards
\nyou; for so long as you keep these moods, you will find it difficult to make
\nprogress in the yoga.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Quarrels and clashes are a proof
\nof the absence of the yogic poise and those who seriously wish to do yoga must
\nlearn to grow out of these things. It is easy enough not to clash when there is
\nno cause for strife or dispute or quarrel; it is when there is cause and the
\nother side is impossible and unreasonable that one gets the opportunity of
\nrising above one’s vital nature.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As for your question, it is a
\nsentimental part of the vital nature that quarrels with people and refuses to
\nspeak to them and it is the same part in a reaction against that mood that
\nwants to speak and get the relation. So long as there is either of these
\nmovements the other also is possible. It is only when you get rid of this sentimentalism
\nand turn all your purified feelings towards the Divine, <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 825<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

that these fluctuations disappear
\nand a calm goodwill to all takes their place.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are two attitudes that a sadhak
\ncan have: either a quiet equality to all regardless of their friendliness or
\nhostility or a general goodwill.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Do not dwell much on the defects
\nof others. It is not helpful. Keep always quiet and peace in the attitude.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That is quite right. Only those
\nwho sympathise<\/span> can help \u2013 surely also one should be
\nable to see the faults of others without hatred. Hatred injures both parties,
\nit helps none.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There is no harm in seeing and
\nobserving if it is done with sympathy and impartiality \u2013 it is the tendency
\nunnecessarily to criticise, find fault, condemn others (often quite wrongly)
\nwhich creates a bad atmosphere both for oneself and others. And why this
\nharshness and cocksure condemnation? Has not each man his own faults \u2013 why should
\nhe be so eager to find fault with others and condemn them? Sometimes one has to
\njudge but it should not be done hastily or in a censorious spirit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Men are always more able to
\ncriticise sharply the work of others and tell them how to do things or what not
\nto do than skilful to avoid the same mistakes themselves. Often indeed one sees
\neasily in others faults which are there in oneself but which one fails to see.
\nThese and other defects such as the last you mention are common to human nature
\nand few escape them. The human mind is not really conscious of itself \u2013 that is
\nwhy in yoga one has <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 826<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

always to look and see what is in
\noneself and become more and more conscious.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is not a question of ordinary life.
\nIn ordinary life people always judge wrongly because they judge by mental
\nstandards and generally by conventional standards. The human mind is an
\ninstrument not of truth but of ignorance and error.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is the petty ego in each that
\nlikes to discover and talk about the \u201creal or unreal\u201d defects of others \u2013 and
\nit does not matter whether they are real or unreal; the ego has no right to
\njudge them, because it has not the right view or the right spirit. It is only
\nthe calm, disinterested, dispassionate, all-compassionate and all-loving Spirit
\nthat can judge and see rightly the strength and weakness in each being.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes, all that is true. The lower
\nvital takes a mean and petty pleasure in picking out the faults of others and
\nthereby one hampers both one’s own progress and that of the subject of the
\ncriticism.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A gossiping spirit is always an
\nobstacle.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Such reproaches (the stone etc.)
\nare quite usual from those who do not understand, against the sadhak when he
\nremains firm in his path against the ordinary human vital demands upon him. But
\nthat should not perturb you. It is better to be a stone on the road to the
\nDivine than soft and weak clay in the muddy paths of the ordinary vital human
\nnature.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 827<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

It is not what others think of
\nyou that matters, but what you are yourself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even sometimes a malignant (not
\nfair or well-intentioned) criticism can be helpful by some aspect of it, if one
\ncan look at it without being affected by the unfairness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Naturally, praise and blame may
\nhave that effect (the human nature is more sensitive to these than to almost
\nanything else, more even than to real benefit or injury), unless either
\nequanimity has been established or else there is so entire a confidence and
\nhappy dependence upon someone that both praise and blame are helpful to the
\nnature. There are some men who even without yoga have so balanced a mind that
\nthey take and adjudge praise and blame calmly for what they are worth, but that
\nis extremely rare. <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nIII<\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The idea of helping others is a
\nsubtle form of the ego. It is only the Divine Force that can help. One can be
\nits instrument, but you should first learn to be a fit and egoless instrument.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The idea of helping others is a
\ndelusion of the ego. It is only when the Mother commissions and gives her force
\nthat one can help and even then only within limits.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All
\nchange must come from within with the felt or the secret support of the Divine
\nPower; it is only by one’s own inner opening<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 828<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

to
\nthat that one can receive help, not by mental, vital or physical contact with
\nothers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is a relative and partial
\nhelp, of course, but it is sometimes useful. A radical help can only come from
\nwithin through the action of the Divine Force and the assent of the being. It
\nmust be said of course that it is not everyone that thinks he is helping who is
\nreally doing it; also if the help is accompanied with the exercising of an
\n\u201cinfluence\u201d, that influence may be of a mixed character and harm as well as
\nhelp if the instrument is not pure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes, it is always so with human
\nconduct \u2013 men want to help each other with a motive behind or a feeling which
\nproceeds from the ego. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is only when one
\nlives in a higher consciousness that it is otherwise.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The real failing of the
\nmother-like ambition \u2013 at least as it manifests in many as in her \u2013 is that it
\nconceals an ego movement, the desire to play a big part, to have people
\ndepending on one, to have the motherly reputation etc., etc. Most human
\naltruism has really this ego basis. If one gets rid of that, then the will to
\nhelp can take its true place as a movement of pure sympathy and psychic
\nfeeling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You need not trouble yourself
\nmuch about X’s ideas or attach importance to them. The only truth about it is
\nthat a vital mixture does very easily get into the movements even of the
\nsadhana, if one is not careful. The one safeguard against that is to turn all
\ntowards the Divine and draw all from the Divine, getting rid of attachment, ego
\nand desire. In one’s relations with other <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 829<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

sadhaks there should be neither
\nstiffness and hardness nor attachment and sentimental leanings. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As for the
\nmotherly feeling \u2013 it has to be transformed like everything else. The danger of
\nall these relations when they are untransformed is that they may minister in a
\nsubtle way to the ego. To avoid that, one has to make oneself an instrument
\nmerely, but without even the ego of the instrument, and to be conscious of the
\nsource, not insisting on the action or any relation, but simply allowing it to
\nbe useful whenever one can clearly feel that it is intended. Also one must be
\ncareful that no force comes through one except the right forces, those which are
\nin harmony with the higher consciousness and help. If one does always in that
\nspirit and with that care, then even if mistakes are made, it does not matter \u2013
\nthe growing consciousness will set them right and progress towards a more
\nperfect working.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of course it is the disadvantage
\nof helping others that one comes into contact with their consciousness and
\ntheir difficulties and also gets more externalised.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes, it is dangerous [to sympathise<\/span> with anyone gone wrong], because it puts one in
\ntouch with the adverse Force that upset him and that Force at once tries to
\ntouch you and make its suggestions and contaminate by a sort of contagion or
\ninfection.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By the sympathy you get into contact
\nand receive what is in the other \u2013 or also you may give or let go or have drawn
\nfrom you part of your force which goes to the other. It is the vital sympathy
\nwhich has this effect; a calm spiritual or psychic goodwill does not bring
\nthese reactions.  <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 830<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

However the bearing of others’
\ndifficulties would, I fear, be a heavy burden for anybody and I doubt the
\nefficacy of the method. What one can do much more usefully is, if one has
\nstrength to give out of one’s strength to the other, if one has peace to shed
\nthe peace on the other etc. This one can do without losing one’s strength or
\npeace \u2013 if it is done in the right way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are two possible attitudes
\nin the matter and each has something to be said for it. There is much to be
\nsaid for X’s attitude \u2013 first, because until one’s own siddhi is complete, the
\nhelp one gives is always a little doubtful and imperfect and, secondly, there
\nis the danger so often emphasised by experienced yogis of taking on oneself the
\ndifficulties of those one helps. But all the same to wait for perfection is not
\nalways possible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To want unwaveringly the welfare
\nof another both in the head and the heart, is the best help one can give.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If your husband is in a perilous
\nperiod of his life and suffering from ill-health and you feel for him, the best
\nthing for him is still that you should tranquillise yourself and call the
\nDivine to his help to pass through. Even in the ordinary life disquietude and
\ndepression create an unhelpful atmosphere for one who is ill or in
\ndifficulties. Once you are a sadhak, then whether for yourself or to help
\nothers for whom you still feel, the true spiritual attitude of reliance on the
\nDivine Will and call for the help from above is always the best and most
\neffective course.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Whatever or whomever you have
\nhanded over to the Divine, you should not be any longer attached or anxious
\nabout him <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 831<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

or it but leave all to the Divine
\nto do for the best.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is very good that the condition
\nyou speak of has settled itself \u2013 that is a great progress. As for the prayers,
\nthe fact of praying and the attitude it brings, especially unselfish prayer for
\nothers, itself opens you to the higher Power, even if there is no corresponding
\nresult in the person prayed for. Nothing can be positively said about that, for
\nthe result must necessarily depend on the persons, whether they are open or
\nreceptive or something in them can respond to any Force the prayer brings down. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nIV<\/b><\/p>\n

  <\/p>\n

It is certainly a great help to
\nbe able to limit one’s contacts provided it is not carried too far. I must note
\nhowever that even with limited contacts undesirable waves can get in \u2013 it is a
\nmeasure of precaution but does not make you absolutely safe. On the other hand
\ncomplete withdrawal carries one to another extreme and has its own dangers. The
\ncomplete safety from \u201cstuff\u201d distracting, disturbing, externalising etc. can
\nonly come from a growth of the consciousness within. In the interim absorption
\nand limitation of contacts like that can be a helpful measure if used in a
\njudicious way.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is true that one has to try to
\nkeep the inner condition under all circumstances, even the most adverse; but
\nthat does not mean one has to accept, unnecessarily, unfavourable conditions
\nwhen there is no good reason for their being allowed to go on. Especially, the
\nnervous system and the physical cannot bear an excessive strain, \u2013 the mind too
\nand the higher vital; your fatigue came from the strain of living in the One
\nConsciousness and at the same time exposing yourself too much to prolonged
\ncontacts from the ordinary consciousness. A certain amount of self-defence<\/span> is necessary, so that the consciousness may not be
\npulled <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 832<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

down or out constantly into the
\nordinary atmosphere or the physical strained by being forced into activities
\nthat have become foreign to you. Those who practise yoga often seek refuge in
\nsolitude from these difficulties; that is unnecessary here, but all the same
\nyou need not submit to being put under this kind of useless strain always.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You are quite right. Not to mix
\nwith others deprives of the test which contact with them imposes on the
\nconsciousness and the chance to progress in these respects. Mixing is
\nunprofitable from the spiritual point of view when it is only to indulge the
\nvital, chat, interchange vital movements etc.; but abstention from all mixing
\nand contact is also not desirable. It is only when the consciousness truly
\nneeds full retirement that such retirement can be made and even then it may be
\nfull but not absolute. For in the absolute retirement one lives a purely
\nsubjective life and the opportunity for extending the spiritual progress to the
\nouter life and testing it thoroughly is not there. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is good that
\nyou got quickly the right attitude to what had happened; that indicates a good
\nprogress in the consciousness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That [mixing with people,
\nlaughing, joking, etc.] is a kind of vital expansiveness, it is not vital strength
\n\u2013 this expansiveness is also expensive. For when there is this mixing, the
\nvitally strong get strength from it but the vitally weak expend what strength
\nthey have and become weaker.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I think no rule can be laid down
\napplicable to all. There are some who have the expansive tendency of the vital,
\nothers who have the concentrative. The latter are absorbed in their own
\nintensity of endeavour and certainly they gather from that a great force for
\nprogress and are saved the expense and loss of energy which frequently comes to
\nthe more communicative and also make themselves less open to reactions from
\nothers (though this cannot <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 833<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

be altogether avoided). The
\nothers need to communicate what is in them and cannot wait for the full
\nfullness before they use what they have. Even they may need to give out as well
\nas to take in in<\/span> order to progress. The only thing is
\nthat they must balance the two tendencies, concentrating to receive from above
\nas much or more than they open sideways to distribute.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

X has a very strong and expansive
\nvital, so it is quite natural that if he likes anybody he can produce this kind
\nof effect on him by meeting. But I do not know that he is conscious of what he
\ngives or receives; it is more likely a spontaneous action. He is not accustomed
\nto give only though, for a strong expansive vital as opposed to a strong
\nself-contained one needs to receive as well as to give.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is a matter of temperament.
\nSome are psychically and vitally sensitive and responsive to all that comes
\nfrom anywhere; others are solid of nerve and walled against invasion. It is not
\nat all a question of strength or weakness. The first have a greater sense of
\nlife and answer to life; they suffer more from life and get more from it. It is
\nthe difference between the Greek and the Roman. Even without egoism the
\ndifference remains because it is of the temperament. In yoga the first type are
\nmore able to feel everything directly and know everything in detail by close
\nexperience; it is their great advantage. The others have to use the mind to
\nknow and their grasp is less intimate.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is true that mixing with
\nothers too closely tends to lower the condition, if they are not themselves in
\nthe right attitude and live very much in the vital. In all contacts what you
\nhave to do is to remain within, keep a detached attitude and not allow yourself
\nto be troubled by the difficulties that arise in work or the movements of
\npeople, but keep yourself the true movement. Do not <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 834<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

be caught by the desire to \u201chelp\u201d
\nothers \u2013 do and speak yourself the right thing from the inner poise and leave
\nthe help to come to them from the Divine. Nobody can really help \u2013 only the
\nDivine Grace.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It [harmony, delight and love] is
\nin you and when it is like that it spreads out in the atmosphere \u2013 but
\nnaturally only those can share who are open and sensitive to the influence.
\nStill everyone who has peace or love in him becomes an added influence for its
\nincrease in the atmosphere.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When one is with another for
\nsometime talking etc., there is always some vital interchange, unless one
\nrejects what comes from the others instinctively or deliberately. If one is
\nimpressionable, there may be a strong impression or influence from the other. Then
\nwhen one goes to another person it is possible to pass it on to the other. That
\nis a thing which is constantly happening. But this thing happens without the
\nknowledge of the transmitter. When one is conscious, one can prevent it
\nhappening.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is quite possible for one
\nperson to get depressed by talking with another. Talking means a vital
\ninterchange, so that can always happen. Whether they have observed rightly in a
\nparticular case is another matter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes, that is the test. When one deals
\nwith people there can be always a projection of consciousness to them or a
\nreception of them into the consciousness, but that does not amount to an
\nattachment \u2013 something more is needed, a grip of the vital on the person or a
\ngrip of the person on one’s vital etc. <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 835<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

It is mainly an inner guard that
\nyou must keep. At the same time, if you feel unease in crowds it is better to
\navoid them \u2013 except in case of music if you feel secure there. A crowd of
\npeople engaged in purely social interchange is necessarily on a lower level of
\nconsciousness in which undesirable forces may move, if there is anyone there
\nopen to them, and one who is in a stage of consciousness opening to higher
\nthings but not yet fixed in steady and self-supporting calm is safer away from
\nit. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In sadhana one
\nis supposed to keep outward forces at a distance or at least not to allow them
\nto invade one. If one faces a difficulty in the right spirit and overcomes it,
\nnaturally one progresses, but that is a different thing from letting alien
\nforces or influences enter into the conscious being. No one need invite that, \u2013
\nthey are only too ready to do it without being invited. One can look at and
\nbecome conscious of all forces, even the worst, darkest and most hostile,
\nprovided one remains on guard and refuses all credence or support to their
\nsuggestions and rejects all claim of theirs to a place in the consciousness and
\nnature. But all cannot do that in the earlier stages.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dispersion and sadhana are two things
\nthat cannot go together. In sadhana one has to have a control over the mind and
\nall its actions; in dispersion one is on the contrary controlled and run away
\nwith by the mind and unable to keep it to its subject. If the mind is to be
\nalways dispersed, then you cannot concentrate on reading either or any other
\noccupation, you will be fit for nothing except perhaps talking, mixing,
\nflirting with women and similar occupations.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You are mistaken in thinking that
\nthe sadhana of X, Y and Z does not suffer by the dispersion of their minds in
\nall directions. They would have been far farther on the path if they did a
\nconcentrated yoga \u2013 even, Y who has an enormous receptivity and is eager for
\nprogress might have gone thrice as far as he has <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 836<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

done. Moreover, your nature is
\nintense in all it does and it was therefore quite its natural path to take the
\nstraight way. Naturally, when once the higher consciousness is settled and both
\nthe vital and physical sufficiently ready for the sadhana to go on of itself,
\nstrict tapasya<\/span> will no longer be necessary. But till
\nthen we consider it very useful and helpful and in many cases indispensable.
\nBut we do not insist on it when the nature is not willing. I see too that those
\nwho get into the direct line, (there are not yet very many), get of themselves
\nthe tendency to give up these mind-dispersing interests and occupations and
\nthrow themselves fully into the sadhana.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes, certainly, dispersion is an
\ninner fact. But certain outer things help the dispersion of the consciousness
\nand if anybody like X says that he is not dispersed when he is wandering about
\nwith a companion like Y, I would say he is either not telling the truth or he
\nis deceiving himself. If one is always in the inner consciousness then one can
\nbe not dispersed even when doing outward things \u2013 or if one is conscious of the
\nDivine at all times and in all one does, then also can one read newspapers or
\ndo much correspondence without dispersion. But even then though there is not
\ndispersion, yet there is less intensity of consciousness when reading a
\nnewspaper or writing a letter than when one is not putting part of oneself into
\nquite external things. It is only when the consciousness is quite siddha<\/i><\/span> that there
\nis not even this difference. That does not mean one should not do external
\nthings at all, for then one gets no training in joining the two
\nconsciousnesses. But one must recognise that certain things do disperse the
\nconsciousness or lower it or externalise<\/span> it more than
\nothers. Especially one should not deceive or pretend to oneself that one is not
\ndispersed by them when one is. As for the people who want to draw others to the
\nyoga, I should say that if they draw themselves nearer to the inner goal that
\nwould be a much more fruitful activity. And in the end it would \u201cdraw\u201d much
\nmore people and in a better way than writing of many letters. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 837<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

That is why we are not in favour
\nof correspondence with relatives etc. outside. There is no point of contact
\nunless one comes out or down to their own level which is obviously undesirable
\nfrom the point of view of yoga. I don’t think much inspiration can go through
\nletters because their consciousness is not at all prepared. Words can at most
\ntouch only the surface of their minds; what is important is something behind
\nthe words, but to that they are not open. If there is already an interest in
\nspiritual things, that is different. Even then it is often better to let people
\nfollow their own guru than pull them into this path.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That is the reason why it is
\nbetter to drop these things [correspondence with relatives]. People who go on
\ncorresponding with their people do not feel it as you do, but nevertheless it
\nis a fact that they maintain and enforce vibrations which keep the old forces
\nactive in the vital and maintain their impressions in the subconscient<\/span>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Every letter means an interchange
\nwith the person who writes it \u2013 for something is there behind the words,
\nsomething of his person or of the forces he has put out or had around him while
\nwriting. Our thoughts and feelings are also forces and can have effects upon
\nothers. One has to grow conscious of the movement of these forces and then one
\ncan control one’s own mental and vital formations and cease to be affected by those
\nof others.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes, one’s bad thoughts and good
\nthoughts can have a bad or a good effect on others, though they have not always
\nbecause they are not strong enough \u2013 but still that is the tendency. It is
\ntherefore always said by those who have this knowledge that we should abstain
\nfrom bad thoughts of others for this reason. It is true that both kinds of
\nthought come equally to the mind in its ordinary state; but if the mind and
\nmental will are well <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 838<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

developed, one can establish a
\ncontrol over one’s thoughts as well as over one’s acts and prevent the bad ones
\nfrom having their play. But this mental control is not enough for the sadhak.
\nHe must attain to a quiet mind and in the silence of the mind receive only the
\nDivine thought-forces or other divine Forces and be their field and instrument.\n<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To silence the
\nmind it is not enough to throw back each thought as it comes, that can only be
\na subordinate movement. One must get back from all thought and be separate from
\nit, a silent consciousness observing the thoughts if they come, but not oneself
\nthinking or identified with the thoughts. Thoughts must be felt as outside
\nthings altogether. It is then easier to reject thoughts or let them pass
\nwithout their disturbing the quietude of the mind. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not to be
\ndisturbed by either joy or grief, pleasure or displeasure by what people say or
\ndo or by any outward things is called in yoga a state of samatā<\/i>, equality to all things. It is of immense importance in
\nsadhana to be able to reach this state. It helps the mental quietude and
\nsilence as well as the vital to come. It means indeed that the vital itself and
\nthe vital mind are already falling silent and becoming quiet. The thinking mind
\nis sure to follow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Talking about somebody may very
\nwell have an effect on him; it often does, for it can be an effective
\nformulation of a thought or feeling which, so embodied, will reach him. But I
\ndon’t suppose mere mechanical thoughts or ill-formed imaginations would do that
\n\u2013 at any rate it must be rare and need exceptional conditions or a play of
\nforces in which a trifle counts.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The portion below the navel is
\nthe lower vital, \u2013 in your case it has become very sensitive to the condition
\nof the same part in others or perhaps even to their general condition \u2013 so that
\nit gives a sort of reflection or an appropriate reaction to that. It is a phase
\nin the development that must be overpassed<\/span>, because <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 839<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

the lower vital must get a perfect
\npeace in it and even if it feels the condition of others do it as an act of
\nperception or knowledge without any reaction or reflection.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I suppose it depends upon the
\nperson and upon your reactions to him. If he gives sex vibrations or is an
\nappropriator of vital energy, then opening to him may not be good. But in the
\nordinary superficial interchange one need not lose anything or what is lost is
\nso little and so automatically repaired that it does not matter.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is quite possible that he
\npulls [the vital energy] unconsciously, as he is vitally weak and people who
\nare vitally weak do unconsciously and automatically pull on others.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When people mix together there is
\ngenerally some interchange of vital forces which is quite involuntary….
\nVampirising is a special phenomenon \u2013 a person who lives upon the vital of
\nothers and flourishes vitally at their expense.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The tired feeling which the
\npeople felt after seeing this X is a sign of vampirism, but very often there is
\nno such feeling but there is an after-effect on the whole. The nerves get
\ngradually wrong \u2013 what is called the nervous envelope becomes weak or in one
\nway or another the vitality becomes weak or gets into an abnormal condition \u2013
\nexcitable and irritable. There are many such ways in which the effect shows
\nitself. Sex-vampirism is a different matter \u2013 in sex interchange the normal
\nthing is to give and take, but the sex-vampire eats up the other’s vital and
\ngives nothing or very little. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 840<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

It is not necessary to be so
\ncareful as all that. Ordinary vital interchanges are of a slight character.
\nNobody can take away another’s vital, for the very good reason that if that
\nhappened, the person from whom it was taken would die. It is possible of course
\nfor one person to drain another’s vital forces so as to leave him limp or weak
\nor dry, but it is only the vampire kind that do that. It is possible also for
\none to give out too much of one’s vital forces so as to weaken oneself or
\nexhaust of energy, a thing which should not be done, \u2013 it is only those who
\nknow how to draw or can draw freely from the universal vital Force and
\nreplenish their life energies that can give out freely. All of course draw to
\nsome extent, otherwise they would not remain alive, for expenditure of vital
\nenergy is always going on and one has to replace it; but for most the capacity
\nfor drawing is limited and the capacity for giving without exhaustion is also
\nlimited. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But the ordinary
\nmovements of interchange are harmless provided they are kept within moderate
\nlimits. What creates a difficulty in the sadhana is that one may easily draw in
\nundesirable influences or pass them on to others. It is the reason why at
\ncertain stages a limitation of talk, intercourse etc. is often advisable. But
\nthe true remedy is to become inwardly conscious, to know and be able to repel
\nany undesirable incursion or influence, to be able when speaking, mixing etc.
\nto keep a defence<\/span> round one and allow to pass in only
\nwhat one can accept and nothing else. Also to measure what one can give out
\nsafely and what one cannot. When one has the consciousness and the practice,
\nthis working becomes almost automatic.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No, people are not conscious of these
\nthings, only a few are. The vital exchange is there, but they are not aware of
\nit \u2013 because they live in the external mind (physical) and these things go on
\nbehind. Even if they feel more energetic after an interchange or depressed or
\ntired, they would not attribute it to the talk or contact, because the
\ninterchange is unconscious; their external mind in which they live not being
\naware of it. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 841<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

The utility [of being conscious
\nof the vital interchange] depends upon the development of an inner power based
\nupon peace which will act upon these things and prevent them. So long as one is
\nunconscious, one undergoes the action in the Ignorance and there is no
\npossibility of going out of the circle because there is no knowledge. The consciousness
\ncomes with a growing inner development in the being which makes the peace, the
\nliberation a necessity \u2013 with that one opens to a higher Force of a new
\nconsciousness which puts an end to the vital interchange and creates a new
\npoise for the vital as well as the mental life. If one stops with the increased
\nsensitivity and does not go farther, then of course there is no proper use of
\nit. There are some people like X and Y who got so absorbed in the \u201coccult\u201d
\nknowledge that they stopped there going round and round in it and making all
\nsorts of blunders because the spiritual light was not there. One has not to
\nstop there, but go on and beyond to the spiritual consciousness and the greater
\nlight, strength and poise it brings.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I don’t suppose people are at all
\naware of this occult commerce. Some like Daudet<\/span> may
\nobserve the expenditure or throwing out of forces, but not the pulling or the
\neffect on others. The idea of mental interchange is familiar though only of the
\nsuperficial kind, not the silent action of mind on mind which is always going
\non, but the vital impacts are known only to a few occultists. If one becomes
\nvery conscious one can become aware of the forces acting in and from all
\naround, e.g. forces of joy or depression or anger.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n⁂<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There must necessarily be a
\ndifference between the vital energy of a cultured and well-educated man and of
\none who is rough and ignorant. If nothing else, a greater refinement and
\nsubtlety in their vital force and therefore in the energy is there. Drinking if
\nexcessive affects the substance and quality of the energy \u2013 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 842<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n<\/div>\n

but probably a moderate drinking
\nand smoking would have a less perceptible effect. I don’t think people in
\nordinary life notice clearly, but they have often a general impression which
\nthey can’t explain or particularise<\/span>. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 843<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SECTION EIGHT Human Relationships in Yoga    YOU seem not to have understood the principle of this yoga. The old yoga demanded a complete renunciation…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-23-letters-on-yoga-volume-23","wpcat-24-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1130\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}