{"id":3018,"date":"2013-07-13T01:45:24","date_gmt":"2013-07-13T08:45:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=3018"},"modified":"2013-11-28T15:00:31","modified_gmt":"2013-11-28T23:00:31","slug":"14-sonnets-from-manuscripts-circa-1900-1901-vol-02-collected-poems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/01-works-of-sri-aurobindo\/03-cwsa\/02-collected-poems\/14-sonnets-from-manuscripts-circa-1900-1901-vol-02-collected-poems","title":{"rendered":"-14_Sonnets from Manuscripts Circa 1900 – 1901.html"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\n\n
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\n<\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n
\nSonnets from Manuscripts <\/font><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

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\nCirca 1900 \u00ad 1901<\/font><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

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\n

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\n
\nO face that I have loved<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tO face that I have loved until no face<\/span><\/p>\n

\nBeneath the quiet heavens such glory wear,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThey say you are not beautiful, 
\n\t\t\t\u2014  no snare<\/span><\/p>\n

\nOf twilight in the changing mysticness<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tOr deep enhaloed secrecy of hair,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nSoft largeness in the eyes I dare not kiss!<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tUnreal all your bosom’s dreadful bliss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nToo narrow are your brows they say to bear<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThe temple of vast beauty in its span<\/span><\/p>\n

\nOr chaste cold bosom to house fierily<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tBeauty that maddens all the heart of man.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI know not; this I know that utterly<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tMy soul is by some magic curls surprised,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nSome glances have my heart immortalized.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\tI cannot equal<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nI cannot equal those most absolute eyes,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAlthough they rule my being, with the stars,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nNor floral rich comparisons devise<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tTo detail sweetness that your body wears.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nNor in the heavens hints of you I find,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tNor dim suggestions in this thoughtful eve;<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThe moonlight of your darker grace is blind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWho can with such pale delicacies deceive<\/span><\/p>\n

\nA naked burning heart? Only one place<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tSatisfies me of you, where the feet<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThat I shall never clasp, with beauty press<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThe barren earth in one place only sweet,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nOne face in the wide world alone divine,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThe only one that never can be mine.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

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\nPage \u2013 177<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

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<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

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\nO letter dull and cold<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tO letter dull and cold, how can she read<\/span><\/p>\n

\nGladly these lifeless lines, no fire that prove,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWhen others even their passionate hearts exceed<\/span><\/p>\n

\nCaressing her sweet name with words of love?<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tO me that I could force this barrier, turn<\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy heart to syllables, make all desire<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tOne burning word, then would my letters yearn<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWith some reflection of that hidden fire.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAh if I could, what then? This fiery pit<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWithin for human eyes was never meant.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAll hearts would view with horror or with hate<\/span><\/p>\n

\nA picture not of earthly lineament.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tYourself even, sweet, would start with terror back<\/span><\/p>\n

\nAs at the hissing of a sudden snake.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\tMy life is wasted<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nMy life is wasted like a lamp ablaze<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWithin a solitary house unused,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy life is wasted and by Love men praise<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tFor sweet and kind. How often have I mused<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWhat lovely thing were love and much repined<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAt my cold bosom moved not by that flame.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n‘Tis kindled; lo, my dreadful being twined<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tRound one whom to myself I dare not name.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI cannot quench the fire I did not light<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAnd he that lit it will not; I cannot even<\/span><\/p>\n

\nDrive out the guest I never did invite;<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAlthough the soul he dwells with loses heaven.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI burn and know not why; I sink to hell<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tFruitlessly and am forbidden to rebel.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\nPage \u2013 178<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

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\nBecause thy flame is spent<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tBecause thy flame is spent, shall mine grow less,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nO bud, O wonder of the opening rose?<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWhy both my soul and Love it would disgrace<\/span><\/p>\n

\nIf I could trade in love, begin and close<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tMy long account of passion, like a book<\/span><\/p>\n

\nOf merchant’s credit given to be repaid,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tOr not returned, struck off with lowering look<\/span><\/p>\n

\nLike a bad debt uncritically made.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWhat thou couldst give, thou gav’st me, one sweet smile<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWorth all the sunlight that the years contain,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tOne month of months when thy sweet spirit awhile<\/span><\/p>\n

\nFluttered o’er mine half-thinking to remain.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWhat I could give, I gave thee, to my last breath<\/span><\/p>\n

\nImmortal love, immovable by death.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\tThou didst mistake<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nThou didst mistake, thy spirit’s infant flight<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tOpening its lovely wings upon the sun<\/span><\/p>\n

\nPaused o’er the first strong bloom that met thy sight<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThinking perhaps it was the only one.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nBut all this fragrant garden was beyond.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWinds came to thee with hints of honey; day<\/span><\/p>\n

\nDisclosed a brighter hope than this unsunned<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThought-sheltered heart and called thee far away.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThou didst mistake. Must I then rage, grow ill,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWith tortured vanity and think it love,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nMiscall with brutal names my lady’s will<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tFouling thy snowwhite image, O my dove?<\/span><\/p>\n

\nIs not thy kiss enough, though only one,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tFor all eternity to live upon?<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

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\nPage \u2013 179<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

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\nRose, I have loved<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tRose, I have loved thy beauty, as I love<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThe dress that thou hast worn, the transient grass,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tO’er which thy happy careless footsteps move,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThe yet-thrilled waysides that have watched thee pass.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tSoul, I have loved thy sweetness as men love<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThe necessary air they crave to breathe,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThe sunlight lavished from the skies above,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nAnd firmness of the earth their steps beneath.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tBut were that beauty all, my love might cease<\/span><\/p>\n

\nLike love of weaker spirits; were’t thy charm<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAnd grace of soul, mine might with age decrease<\/span><\/p>\n

\nOr find in Death a silence and a term,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tBut rooted in the unnameable in thee<\/span><\/p>\n

\nShall triumph and transcend eternity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\tI have a hundred lives<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nI have a hundred lives before me yet<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tTo grasp thee in, O spirit ethereal,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nBe sure I will with heart insatiate<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tPursue thee like a hunter through them all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThou yet shalt turn back on the eternal way<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAnd with awakened vision watch me come<\/span><\/p>\n

\nSmiling a little at errors past, and lay<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThy eager hand in mine, its proper home.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nMeanwhile made happy by thy happiness<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tI shall approach thee in things and people dear<\/span><\/p>\n

\nAnd in thy spirit’s motions half-possess<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tLoving what thou hast loved, shall feel thee near,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nUntil I lay my hands on thee indeed<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tSomewhere among the stars, as ’twas decreed.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\nPage \u2013 180<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

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\nStill there is something<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tStill there is something that I lack in thee<\/span><\/p>\n

\nAnd yet must find. There is a broad abyss<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tBetween possession and true sovereignty<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWhich thou must bridge with a diviner kiss.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tI questioned all the beauty of other girls<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThinking thou hadst it not to give indeed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tBut not Giannina’s breasts nor Pippa’s curls<\/span><\/p>\n

\nContained it; thou alone canst meet my need.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tDeniest thou some secret of thy soul<\/span><\/p>\n

\nTo me who claim thee all? Nay, can it be<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThy bosom’s joys escape from my control?<\/span><\/p>\n

\nForbid it Heaven Hell should yawn for thee.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tDeny it now! Let not sweet love begun<\/span><\/p>\n

\nEnd in red blood and awful justice done.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\tI have a doubt<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nI have a doubt, I have a doubt which kills.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tTell me, O torturing beauty, O divine<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWitchcraft, O soul escaped from heaven’s hills<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tYet fed upon strange food of utter sin.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWhy dost thou torture me? Hast thou no fear?<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tMy love was ever like my hate a sword<\/span><\/p>\n

\nTo search the heart and kill however dear<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tThe joy that would not own me for its lord.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nYet must I still believe that thou art true<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tIf thou wilt say it and smile. Knowst thou not then<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI have purchased with my passion all of you<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAnd wilt thou keep one nook for other men?<\/span><\/p>\n

\nDeny it now! Let not sweet love begun<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tEnd in red blood and awful justice done.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\n

\n <\/p>\n

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\nPage \u2013 181<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

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\nTo weep because a glorious sun<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tTo weep because a glorious sun has set<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWhich the next morn shall gild the east again,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tTo mourn that mighty strengths must yield to fate<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWhich by that fall a double force attain,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tTo shrink from pain without whose friendly strife<\/span><\/p>\n

\nJoy could not be, to make a terror of death<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWho smiling beckons us to farther life<\/span><\/p>\n

\nAnd is a bridge for the persistent breath;<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tDespair and anguish and the tragic grief<\/span><\/p>\n

\nOf dry set eyes or such disastrous tears<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAs rend the heart though meant for its relief<\/span><\/p>\n

\nAnd all man’s ghastly company of fears<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAre born of folly that believes this span<\/span><\/p>\n

\nOf brittle life can limit immortal man.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\tWhat is this talk<\/a><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nWhat is this talk of slayer and of slain?<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tSwords are not sharp to slay nor floods assuage<\/span><\/p>\n

\nThis flaming soul. Mortality and pain<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tAre mere conventions of a mightier stage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nAs when a hero by his doom pursued<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tFalls like a pillar of the huge world uptorn<\/span><\/p>\n

\nShaking the hearts of men and awe-imbued,<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tSilent the audience sits or weeps forlorn,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nMeanwhile behind the stage the actor sighs<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tDeep-lunged relief, puts off what he has been<\/span><\/p>\n

\nAnd talks with friends that waited or from the flies<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tWatches the quiet of the closing scene,<\/span><\/p>\n

\nEven so the unwounded spirits of the slain<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\tBeyond our vision passing live again.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

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\nPage \u2013 182<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

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\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Sonnets from Manuscripts Circa 1900 \u00ad 1901     O face that I have loved   O face that I have loved until…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-02-collected-poems","wpcat-57-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3018","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3018"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3018\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9563,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3018\/revisions\/9563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3018"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3018"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3018"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}