{"id":4283,"date":"2013-07-13T01:54:50","date_gmt":"2013-07-13T01:54:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=4283"},"modified":"2013-07-13T01:54:50","modified_gmt":"2013-07-13T01:54:50","slug":"05-series-three-vol-16-some-answers-from-the-mother-volume-16","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/02-works-of-the-mother\/01-cwmce\/16-some-answers-from-the-mother-volume-16\/05-series-three-vol-16-some-answers-from-the-mother-volume-16","title":{"rendered":"-05_Series Three.htm"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n
\n

\n <\/font><\/span>SERIES THREE<\/font><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n


\n
\nSeries Three <\/font> <\/span><\/i><\/b>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nLetters to \u201cMy
\nlittle smile\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\nTo \u201cMy little
\nsmile\u201d, one of the first children admitted to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram; she came
\nat the age of fourteen. Little smile worked for many years embroidering clothes
\nfor the Mother and later became one of her personal attendants. She began
\nwriting to the Mother at the age of seventeen. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n My dear little
\nsmile, <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou must not lose
\npatience or courage; everything will turn out all right. <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThe condition you
\nwere in while embroidering the \u201cSilence\u201d flower,<\/span>\u00b9<\/span>
\ncannot return as it was before, for in this world things never repeat themselves
\nin exactly the same way everything changes and progresses. But the state of
\nmental peace you have known is nothing compared to the one much deeper and
\ncompleter \u2013 which you will come to know. <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou must keep your
\naspiration intact and your will to conquer all obstacles; you must have an
\nunshakable faith in the divine grace and the sure victory. <\/span><\/p>\n

\nSri Aurobindo is
\nworking for your transformation how can there be doubt that he will triumph!
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n With all my love.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n1931<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/font><\/span>\u00b9<\/font><\/span>Silence:
\nthe name given by the Mother to the Wild Passion-flower (passiflora incarnata)<\/font><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 59<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nI simply meant to
\nsay that you were happy and confident as a child or an animal is confident and
\nhappy without knowing why. Now you must learn to be happy and confident while
\nknowing why and understanding the deeper cause of your happiness and confidence.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n1931<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy little smile,
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\nFor your smile to
\nbecome truly \u201ceternal\u201d, you must learn to speak to me as freely when you are
\nnear me as when you are in your room. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n Also it would be
\nbetter not to get angry, and if it happens, it is better to forget your anger
\nquickly; and if that isn’t possible, then you must tell me very simply what has
\nhappened so that I may remove the anger from the consciousness of my \u201clittle
\nsmile\u201d and give her back the joy and peace I want her always to have. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n With my most
\naffectionate blessings. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n1931<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI have seen the
\nsari embroidered by my little smile and I find it very pretty, completely
\nsuccessful. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n You should not
\nlisten to the criticism of people without taste or sufficient education. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n Lovingly. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n


\n1931<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 I am
\nsending you this rupee. Now I no longer need any pocket money. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n I accept the
\nrupee and send to my dear little child, along with my blessings, my
\ncongratulations for the manner in which she has passed her French test. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n Affectionately.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n


\n10 May 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\n My little smile,
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\nI am very glad
\nthat you have written; I am sure that you are feeling much better now.  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 60<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\n Do not attach too
\nmuch importance to all these things; they are the imaginations of a child who
\nknows nothing of life, of its misery and ugliness. For life is not as it is
\nportrayed in novels; day-to-day existence is full of sufferings great and small,
\nand it is only by identification with the Divine Consciousness that one can
\nattain and preserve the true unchanging happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n

\nKeep your
\nconfidence and your faith, my little smile, and everything will be all right.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\nWith all my love.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n


\n1 August 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 This
\nsubject was given for composition in our French class<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Develop
\nthis thought: <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n Consecration to
\nthe Divine is the secret of existence; a perpetual renewal of force comes from
\ncommunion with the Infinite. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nsmile, <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIt is very simple,
\nas you will see. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n1) The Infinite is
\nthe inexhaustible storehouse of forces. The individual is a battery, a storage
\ncell which runs down after use. Consecration is the wire that connects the
\nindividual battery to the infinite reserve of forces. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n Or <\/span><\/p>\n

\n2) The Infinite is
\nthe river that flows without cease; the individual is the little pond that dries
\nup slowly in the sun. Consecration is the canal that connects the river to the
\npond and prevents the pond from drying up. <\/span><\/p>\n

\nWith these two
\nimages, I think you will understand. <\/span><\/p>\n

\nTender love.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n28 August 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 61<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

 Many
\ntimes I have found that if I don’t imagine stories, as they are called, I feel a
\nsort of dullness; then I can’t work, and even if I do I can’t work fast. Today I
\nspent the whole day in this state of dullness because I no longer imagine things
\nas before. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Mother,
\nI would like to know if everything I say about my dullness is true if it is due
\nto an absence of imagination. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n The dullness
\ncomes from \u201ctamas\u201d; imaginative activity was shaking off the tamas and thus
\nridding you of the dullness. But this is not the only way to get rid of it.
\nOpening to the Light and Consciousness from above and allowing them to replace
\nthe tamas in the external consciousness, is a much better and surer way. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n22 November 1932<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 I don’t
\nwant tamas. Today I worked all day. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But my
\nmind does not have tamas; it is always active and runs here and there like a
\nmadman. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThe mind always
\nruns about like a madman. The first step is to detach one’s consciousness from
\nit and let it run by itself without running with it. Then it finds this less
\nenjoyable and after some time it becomes quieter. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n23 November 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 I have
\nnoticed that in X’s presence I dare not do certain things, such as talk in a
\nloud voice or other impolite things of this kind. <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 62<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nIt is good to
\nobserve yourself in order to see your weaknesses and be able to correct them.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n


\n26 November 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 You
\nknow that the doctor asked me to look after Y. At the Ashram, I heard Z asking
\nhim something about Y and I also heard the doctor talking to him. Afterwards I
\nasked the doctor, \u201cWhy do you speak to Z about Y?\u201d He said, \u201cZ was asking me
\nwhat happened to Y. He no longer sees her at Pranam.\u201d Then I replied, \u201cBut he
\nhas nothing to do with her and it is not good to talk about these things to
\npeople because they cannot do anything for her.\u201d \u201cYes,\u201d the doctor said, \u201cI
\nunderstand that he asked me about that just out of curiosity and I will say
\nnothing to him.\u201d <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\nMy little smile,
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\nYour reply to the
\ndoctor was very good and you are perfectly right. One should never talk about
\nothers is always useless and least of all about their difficulties; it is
\nuncharitable because it does not help them to overcome the difficulties. As for
\ndoctors, the rule is that they should not talk about their patients, and the
\ndoctor ought to know better. I hope you are not frightened by what happened to
\nY. Remain very calm, very quiet, and everything will be all right. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n28 November 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

 While
\nyou were playing the organ, I had the feeling that the others were listening to
\nthe Mother playing the organ for me, and it made me feel proud. I understood,
\neven at that moment, that it was a wrong feeling and <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 63<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nI didn’t want it;
\nbut I don’t know how to get rid of it. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Mother,
\nI believe that if I stay all by myself, apart from everyone else, I will be very
\nhappy. I am very bad; I don’t know when all these bad things will leave me.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Take
\npity on me. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou must not
\nexaggerate. Certainly there are movements of vanity rather childish besides but
\nthey are not the only ones. I am quite sure that while you were listening to the
\nmusic, you could also feel the pure and simple joy of the music for its own
\nsake, and that when you are near me, you also feel the simple and sincere joy of
\na child near to its mother. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n The nature is
\ncomplex, and always the true and the false, the good and the bad are mixed
\ntogether. It is very useful to see one’s faults and weaknesses clearly, but one
\nshould not see only them, for that too would be one-sided. One should also be
\naware of what is good and true in the nature and give it all one’s attention, so
\nthat this good and true side can grow and ultimately absorb the rest and
\ntransform the nature. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n5 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

 When I
\nsaw You this morning at Pranam, it seemed to me that You were very serious.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I write
\nto You whatever I think I ought to tell You, because I have promised to write
\nabout my thoughts and feelings and I don’t want to deceive You. I have nothing
\ngood to tell You. I have a hoard of bad, ugly, foolish and naughty things to
\ntell You. If there is something good, it {65is only that I work for You (Your
\nsari): this is the only thing I can call good. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Today I
\nwas sad all day, I could not smile. You will receive many such things to read.
\nBut if You become serious, as You were this morning, I would rather put  an end to the
\nmatter. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013  64<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

 Today I
\nworked for seven hours. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nNo, my child, I
\nwas not \u201cserious\u201d and I smiled at you as usual; it was you who had such a sad
\nlittle face and it is probably your own sadness that you saw reflected in my
\neyes. I know life too well for your confessions to make me \u201cserious\u201d. Besides,
\nyour confessions are not so terrible as all that, no matter what you may think
\nof them. And as soon as you tell me all the things that are troubling you, you
\nwill see that they have disappeared and you will feel free and happy. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n Keep your smile,
\nlittle child; it is this that gives you your strength. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n7 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

 I don’t
\nknow why, but for two or three days I have been feeling a bit sad. <\/span><\/i>\n<\/p>\n

 Mother,
\nsometimes when I am depressed, when I feel that maybe I won’t be able to do
\nyoga, my mind imagines: \u201cMother tells me that I cannot do yoga and asks me to go
\naway from here, I have no one to go to and nowhere to stay; I will remain here
\neven as a servant, but it is impossible for me to live elsewhere.\u201d <\/span><\/i>\n<\/p>\n


\n Thinking of all this makes me feel even sadder than before. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

My
\nMother, today it seems to me that my mind is not calm enough to write anything
\nto You. Today I worked for nine hours on the sari. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nchild, <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou must not
\naccept depression, never, and still less these suggestions, so stupid and false,
\nthat I could ask you to go away! How can you dream of such a thing? You are at
\nhome here \u2013 are you not my little
\ndaughter? and you will always have a place by my side, in my love and
\nprotection.  <\/span><\/p>\n


\n9 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 65<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

I had an
\nimaginary conversation in my head with X. I was not paying attention, but at one
\nmoment it came to me that I would have to write all this to Mother and suddenly
\nthe conversation stopped. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

That is
\nhow I talk to people in my head; my mind puts the thoughts it likes, as it
\nlikes, into someone’s mouth and this makes a noise in my head. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I am
\nvery tired of writing such bad and stupid things. I don’t know when this
\ndistracted mind will become quiet. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIt is not so
\nterrible the mind likes to be busy with something always, and making up stories
\neven when one knows that these stories are not true is one of the most innocent
\npursuits of this restless mind. Of course, it must become calm and quiet some
\nday in order to receive the light from above; but in the meantime, you may
\nsurely tell me all these stories. I find them more amusing than silly and they
\ninterest me. So don’t say: I won’t tell Mother this or that, but rather say: I
\nshall tell her everything quite frankly. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n11 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I am
\nnever satisfied, even though You have given me a very rare chance. My vital
\nbeing always wants more and more; it is never satisfied with what You give it.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy child, I am
\ngoing to reveal something that you will try to understand:  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013  66<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nyou
\nare dissatisfied not because I fail to give you all that you need, but because I
\ngive you more, far more than you are able to receive. Open yourself, increase
\nyour receptivity by giving yourself more, and you will see that all
\ndiscontentment will disappear. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n12 December 1932<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Nowhere
\ndo I find any progress. Even in my work I am still not regular, so how can I
\nhope for Your help? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI don’t understand
\nwhat you mean. My help is always with you, as complete as it can be; it is up to
\nyou to open yourself and receive it. And it is certainly not by being rebellious
\nand discontented that you will be able to do so. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\nSo many times I
\nhave resolved to work regularly and so many times I have failed! So I thought
\nthat if I told You, I would have Your help and become regular in my work, but in
\nvain. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

How then
\ncan I continue my practice of writing to You in this state of depression and
\ndiscontent? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But I
\ndon’t blame You for this; it is me I don’t have a strong will, so how can I get
\nrid of it? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou don’t need to
\nhave a strong will you have only to use mine. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n Be careful,
\nchild, do not open the door to depression, discouragement and revolt this leads
\nfar, far away from consciousness and makes you sink into the depths of obscurity
\nwhere happiness can no longer enter. Your great strength was your smile; because
\nyou knew how to smile at life, you also knew how to work with courage and
\nsteadiness, and in this you were exceptional. But you have followed the example
\nof other people, you have learned from them to be discontented,  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 67<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nrebellious,
\ndepressed, and now you have let your smile slip away, and with it your faith and
\nconfidence in me; in this condition, if all the divine forces were to
\nconcentrate on you, it would be in vain you would refuse to receive them.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n There is only one
\nremedy, and you must lose no time in accepting it: recover your smile, regain
\nyour faith, become once more the confident child you were, do not brood over
\nyour faults and difficulties \u2013 it is your smile that will chase them away.<\/span> <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n16 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I have
\noften noticed that when I wake up from sleep, there is a kind of noise in my
\nhead, as if many people were talking at once and I can understand nothing of
\nwhat they say. And I feel as if this noise has been going on all night. It is
\nlike a bazaar, there is a lot of noise because people are all talking at once
\nand one can understand nothing of it. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIn your sleep you
\nare becoming conscious of the noises that the mechanical thoughts of the most
\nmaterial mind make in their own domain. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n18 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nAnd as for X, now
\nI think, \u201cWhy didn’t I refuse him?\u201d But what is the advantage of thinking
\nafterwards! <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThere is an
\nadvantage in looking back after some time at what one has done; for at a
\ndistance, removed from the action, one sees more clearly and better understands
\nwhat ought or ought not to have been done. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n20 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 68<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 If You
\nwant these imaginations to remain in me, let them remain, but if You don’t want
\nthat, root them out. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nOnce again, do not
\nworry; what should disappear will disappear; only what is good will remain.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n25 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I think
\nthis is the last thing I shall write to You. I should like to stop writing now,
\nas I am feeling very tired. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I know
\nthat You will not like it, but I have to say that it is better to put me aside.
\nI am quite hopeless. Again for the last few days I have become irregular in my
\nwork. You once said that to open myself to You is my work, because Your help is
\nalways with me. But I do not know when I will open myself to You. I am as hard
\nas a stone. If I had known before that these things are so difficult, I should
\nnever have wished to come here. Mother, I wish You would not tell me that I am
\nrebelling, I do not like to hear that. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I do not
\nknow, Mother, why I have written all these things. Mother, please do not be
\nangry with me, I have nobody except You. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nWhy this
\ndiscouragement? Each one has his difficulties, yours are no more insurmountable
\nthan those of others. You have only to remain confident and cheerful. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n27 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat
\nshould d<\/span><\/i>isappear
\nwill disappear; only what is good will remain.\u201d        <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 69<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

You
\nwrote this one day in my notebook. But all the things I have written about to
\nYou up to now have not disappeared. Perhaps they are all good! And perhaps this
\nrevolt, discontent, discouragement and bad temper are good too. Because they
\nhave remained in me, they have not disappeared. And the smile and working
\nregularly and having confidence all of these are bad perhaps. Because I see that
\nthey have disappeared, at least for the present. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And if
\nthere is nothing bad in me, why are we taking so much trouble? It would be
\nbetter to remain quiet because \u201cwhat should disappear will disappear; only what
\nis good will remain. \u201c <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Mother,
\nI know that You will not like all these things I have written, but what can I
\ndo? I have to write all this to You. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI am not angry
\nbecause what you write here means nothing I pity you, that’s all. Did I tell you
\nthat it would disappear immediately, instantaneously, especially if you yourself
\nare more inclined to keep it than to reject it? <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n28 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

This
\nmorning after nine o ‘clock X came to my room. He advised me to reject hostile
\nsuggestions and so on. He gave me a lecture. He did not say so but I think You
\nasked him to come to my room. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But I
\nmust tell You that I don’t like people to come and lecture me. Can’t You tell me
\ndirectly what is necessary? Am I not here with You? Am I so far away? Then why
\nshould I have to listen to the advice of others? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIt is your
\nself-esteem and vanity that are in an exasperated state and prevent you
\nfrom seeing affection where it is present. <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 70<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\n I don’t know
\nwhether You tell Y about what I write to You, but I would rather You didn’t.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nOnly Sri Aurobindo
\nknows what you write to me. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\nYou wrote to me
\nonce in this notebook (December 16th), with regard to Your help: \u201cIt is up to
\nyou to open yourself and receive it. And it is certainly not by being rebellious
\nand discontented that you will be able to do so.\u201d <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And
\nagain You wrote to me (December 7th) in this notebook: \u201cAnd as soon as you tell
\nme all the things that are troubling you, you will see that they have
\ndisappeared and you will feel free and happy.\u201d <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nSo I tell You that
\neven this revolt and this bad temper are troubling me. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nOf all things
\nthese are the worst. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\n I think I have
\ntold You all the things that are troubling me. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIt is not enough
\nto tell them, you must want them to disappear.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, today I am
\nsad. I don’t know why but I even wept. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nAnd yet it is
\nquite natural; how can you not be sad when you turn your back on your soul, and
\nthat simply out of pride! <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, rid me of
\nthis discouragement and this revolt, please. Will You not save me from them?
\n<\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 71<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nWith all my will I
\nwant to save you, but you must allow me to do so. To revolt is to reject the
\nDivine Love and only the Divine Love has the power to save. <\/i><\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n28 December 1932<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Am I not
\nYour child? Yes, I know that I am a naughty child, but what can I do? Naughty or
\nnot, in any case I am Yours. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI don’t think you
\nare naughty and I know you are my child. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n29 December 1932<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

It seems
\nto me that my mind (or rather myself) doesn’t want to become quiet. Because if I
\nwanted to become quiet, I would naturally have tried to make myself quiet,
\nwouldn’t I? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIn the
\npsychological domain, only the patients who do not want to recover, do not
\nrecover. Perhaps it is the same for physical diseases? <\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n5 January 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

What is
\nall this about psychological and physical diseases? I understand nothing of it.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPsychological
\ndiseases are diseases of the thoughts and feelings, such as depression, revolt,
\nsadness, etc. Physical diseases are those of the body. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n6 January 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 72<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Yes, I
\nknow that You know that now I can hide nothing from You and that it is
\nimpossible for me to live without You, and this is why, Mother, You like to see
\nme suffer as much as possible isn’t it so? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI understand
\nabsolutely nothing of what you mean to say. You seem to be saying that I like to
\nsee you suffer; but this is so absurd that I cannot believe it is what you mean.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n When with all my
\nwill I am working for the disappearance of suffering from the world, how could I
\nwant, much less like, one of my children to suffer! It would be monstrous.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n7 January 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 For the
\npast two days I have felt a great despair and sadness so much that I think if it
\ngoes on for a few days more, it may be very difficult for me to get rid of these
\nthings. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 I don’t
\nknow what is going to happen, but I can’t help thinking that if I remain in this
\ncondition all the time and if I can’t ever be happy, it will soon be impossible
\nfor me to live. During these two days, in this sadness and despair, I had the
\nidea of committing suicide. (Don’t be afraid, I won’t commit suicide; I am only
\ntelling You about my condition in order to let You know about it.) <\/span><\/i>\n<\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThere are thieves
\nin the subtle world just as in the outer world. But you must close to them the
\ndoors of your thoughts and feelings as carefully as a prudent man bolts the
\ndoors of his house. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThese suggestions
\nof sadness, despair and suicide come from them (the thieves of the vital world),
\nbecause it is when you are depressed that they are best able to rob you. You
\nmust not listen  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 73<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nto them you must
\nreject the wicked suggestions and become yourself once again, that is to say, my
\n\u201clittle smile\u201d. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n9 January 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 You no
\nlonger call me \u201cmy child\u201d? Am I so bad and unworthy? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Mother,
\nI believe that I am doing all I can and if I still cannot be good, what is to be
\ndone? Yes, I know I am not what I was before. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI did not mean
\nanything by not writing \u201cmy child\u201d on the little note I sent you this afternoon.
\nI was in a big hurry and I wrote as few words as possible. Of course I miss the
\ntime when you were truly the eternal little smile, spontaneously and
\neffortlessly, when you felt satisfied with your work, happy to be near me, and
\ntrusting and simple enough not to put a false interpretation on all I do. Who
\nhas poured this poison of doubt and dissatisfaction into your heart? Who has
\ntaken away at once your happiness, your simple joy of life and your beautiful
\nsmile which was a pleasure to see? I don’t ask the question in order to get an
\nanswer from you, for I think that I know it; it is only so you may understand
\nthat I don’t hold you responsible for this change which has come over you from
\noutside. Now there is only one way open, the way of progress since it is
\nimpossible to go backward, you must go forward and what was merely instinctive
\nmust now become conscious and willed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n And never doubt
\nmy affection, which is always with you to help you make this indispensable
\nprogress. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n11 January 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

You told
\nme to write something to You every day. <\/span><\/i>
\n  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 74<\/span><\/p>\n

\n


\nBut now I find
\nnothing to say and I don’t know what to write. As for what I have written: since
\nYou told me that in order to become happy and good, I must want it with all my
\nwill and to work as before, I have started to do that. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But when
\nI have nothing to write to You, what can I write (in order, as You said, to keep
\nthe contact with You)? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Mother,
\nYou will tell me. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy little smile,
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n When you have
\nnothing else to tell me, tell me at what time you got up(like this, for example:
\nthis morning I woke up at such and such a time after having slept for so many
\nhours; I got up, washed and dressed, then I ate my breakfast and started working
\nat such and such a time, etc. etc.). You can tell me all the people you met and
\nwhom you spoke to, what you told them, etc. It will be a very good exercise in
\nFrench and at the same time will create a further intimacy between us. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n13 January 1933<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 This
\nmorning I woke up at 5:45. I washed and dressed, then went to collect my
\nnotebook from X’s window (I always go there). Then at about 6:30 I drank my
\nphoscao, then started work at 6:45. At 7:30 I went for Pranam, then at 7:45 I
\nstarted work again. At 9:30 I went to Y’s house to get some work for Z, then sat
\ndown again to work until 11:30. Then I ate my lunch and rested for ten minutes.
\nAt 12:00 I went back to work; at 12:30 Z came to work and at about 2:00 she made
\nsome lime juice for us. I worked from 12:00 to 8:00. I have finished
\nembroidering the crown.<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 75<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nWell, it is a
\nsuccess! It is a good account with hardly any mistakes, and I am glad to know
\nexactly how you spent your day. It will be good to continue like this. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n14 January 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, I always
\nwrite to You about the same things: sleep, work and talk. Mother, do You like
\nreading the same thing every day? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nWhy not, my little
\nsmile? You can learn to say the same things in different ways; this is an
\nexcellent exercise to learn how to write and mould your style. It seems that at
\nthe moment you are practising calligraphy! Who has taught you to write so
\nbeautifully? <\/span><\/p>\n

\n            Your
\naffectionate Mother. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n25 January 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I have
\nnoticed that X has not stopped his bad habit. I hate him <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThat is quite a
\nbig word! It is said that hate is the reverse of love; at any rate it is a
\ndangerous sentiment which leaves you always at the mercy of the one you hate: to
\nhate means that you are still attached; the true attitude is one of complete
\nindifference. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n27 January 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Today I
\nprayed to You with my body<\/span>\u00b9<\/span>
\nfor ten hours. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Next
\ntime I see You, I shall explain how embroiderers fix the sari on the frame. The
\nframe has to be  <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n\u00b9<\/font><\/span>To
\npray with the body: to do one’s work as an offering to the Divine. The Mother
\nhas written: \u201cTo work for the Divine is to pray with the body.\u201d<\/font><\/span> <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 76<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nas big as the
\nsari. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMother, couldn’t I
\nhave a big frame like that, to embroider the saris really nicely? <\/span><\/i>\n<\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIf I give you such
\na big frame, we shall have to build a room to fit the frame in! <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n13 February 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I worked
\non the sari for ten hours. I think I shall finish this sari before 24th April.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Mother,
\nI have nothing new to tell You. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou are a
\nbeautiful and skilful worker, my little smile, and I am proud of you and your
\nwork, which is so lovely. I see that you have written without making a single
\nmistake! <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n14 February 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nDear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Today I
\nprayed to You with my body for nine hours. Now I have become regular again in
\nall my work as before. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Mother,
\nwhat else? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThis is good, my
\nlittle smile; balance of the being is based upon regular work. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n27 February 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nDid you notice the
\ndate today \u2013 3.3.33? <\/span><\/p>\n

\n Do you know that
\nthis happens only once in eleven years? Eleven years ago, in 1922, in the month
\nof February, it was possible to write 2.2.22 and eleven years from now, in the  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 77<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nmonth of April, it
\nwill be possible to write 4.4.44, and so on. It is interesting, isn’t it? <\/span>
\n
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n3 March 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n\u201cSupramental beauty in the physical\u201d<\/span>\u00b9<\/span>
\nwhat does it mean? All these things all the arts, the beautiful work we do for
\nthe Divine are they expressions of supramental beauty in the physical? <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nNo, all that is
\nonly the manifestation of a universal harmony which lies, as it were, at the
\nvery heart of creation. But the supramental beauty is something much higher and
\nmore perfect; it is a beauty untainted by any ugliness and it does not need the
\nproximity of ugliness in order to look beautiful. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n When the
\nsupramental forces descend into Matter in order to manifest, this perfect beauty
\nwill express itself quite naturally and spontaneously in all forms. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n6 March 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\nI am very happy
\nwhen I wear your saris, but I also wish to keep them as carefully as one keeps
\nworks of art, and that is why I do not wear them very often. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n9 March 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

This
\nmorning You gave me a flower which signifies \u201cConsciousness turned towards the
\nsupramental Light\u201d.<\/span>\u00b2<\/span>
\nWhat does this mean? I don’t understand. <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n\u00b9<\/font><\/span>The
\nMother’s name for a light golden-orange Hibiscus.<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

\n\u00b2<\/font><\/span>The
\nMother’s name for a yellow-orange Sunflower (Helianthus).<\/font><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 78<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nIf you put
\n\u201cDivine\u201d instead of \u201csupramental\u201d, does that make it clearer to you? <\/span><\/p>\n

\n It means the
\nconsciousness that is not filled with the activities and influences of ordinary
\nlife, but is concentrated in an aspiration towards the divine light, force,
\nknowledge, joy. <\/span><\/p>\n

\nNow do you
\nunderstand? <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n23 March 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Have
\nYou seen my little roses on Your gown? Are they nice? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThey are
\nabsolutely charming! It is impossible to say which is the original and which the
\ncopy, and it may very well be that the copy is even more beautiful than the
\noriginal. You saw that I was wearing the gown this evening when I went for a
\nwalk on the terrace. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n6 April 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n Today I prayed to
\nYou with my body for nine hours. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Mother,
\nfor the past two days I have been feeling a little tired, my hands have become a
\nbit slow. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nDon’t you think it
\nwould be a good idea for you to take a little rest? That is, either take a full
\nday’s rest or else work two hours less each day. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n13 April 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

No, I
\ndon’t want to take a rest. Today I prayed to You with my body for ten hours.
\n<\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 79<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nThen use Cou\u00e9’s
\nmethod<\/span>\u00b9<\/span>
\nand repeat, \u201cI am not tired, I cannot be tired because I am protected!\u201d <\/span>
\n
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n14 April 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n  <\/span>
\nYes, X told me
\ntoday that the frame would be completely ready this evening. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 Today I
\nworked nine hours on the blouse. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nLittle smile, you
\nmust not go on working to the point of fatigue. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n10 June 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Not only do
\nI work all day, but I want to work as much as I can, hoping that I won’t get
\ntired. If I don’t work all day every day, how can I make so many big and
\nbeautiful things such as I want to make for my dear, dear Mother? How will my
\ndreams be fulfilled if I waste my time? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Mother, do
\nYou know, I am going to embroider large curtains for Your room? You told me once
\nthat the Japanese cover the walls of their rooms with embroidered curtains.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou are right;
\nnothing is better than to realise our most beautiful dreams and nothing makes us
\nstronger and happier! <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n11 June 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\n My dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Mother, do
\nYou know, it is I who ironed these two blouses without spoiling them? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n\u00b9<\/font><\/span>Emile
\nCou\u00e9 (1857-1926), French doctor of Nancy who developed a system of cure by
\nauto-suggestion (Cou\u00e9ism). <\/font><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 80<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nThis is the first time I have ironed a blouse. Mother, give me a
\n\u201cbravo\u201d for this. Tomorrow I am going to start on the other grey blouse. <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n This is worth far
\nmore than a \u201cbravo\u201d! This morning I was literally filled with admiration. It is
\nmagnificent the birds are so beautiful and so very alive; I found their little
\nheads with the lovely little silver crests very beautiful, far more beautiful
\nthan in the original drawing. The little diamonds are also very fine, and in
\nsilver on the sari they will be magnificent. Where did you do the ironing? It is
\ngood that you are learning. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n21 June 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>This
\nmorning I cut a chemise for You\\ is the first time I ever cut a chemise. X is
\ngoing to stitch it and when it is ready, You will wear it and then tell me if it
\nis well cut or not. Because if it is well cut, I can cut other things without
\nany hesitation. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span> Today also
\nI worked all day. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI am very pleased
\nthat you have learned to do this too. What do you mean by \u201call day\u201d? I hope it
\nis not more than nine hours, because that was already a long stretch and ought
\nnot to be increased. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n26 June 1933<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Since this
\nmorning I have some pain in the pupil of my left eye. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n You must wash
\nyour eye with very warm boric water thrice a day  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 81<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nand do less
\nembroidery for two or three days. Do just as I tell you and remember that your
\nwork depends almost entirely on your eyes. If your eyes were to get spoiled in
\nany way, it would be the end of your beautiful embroideries! When you have pain,
\nclose your eyes for a few minutes and cover them with the palms of your hands
\n(without pressing). You will find this very restful.<\/span> <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n27 June 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I think all
\nthe trouble I took for X was in vain. I spent nearly two hours this evening
\nmaking her understand how to write things very clearly. But in vain. <\/span><\/i>\n<\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThe trouble one
\ntakes like this for someone is never in vain. The result may not appear
\nimmediately, but one day or another a disinterested action bears its fruit.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n26 July 1933<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I shall
\ntell You how I usually spend my evenings. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>After
\nseeing You go up to the terrace, I go and have my meal. Then I return home and
\nwrite my letter to You, and then sometimes I wash our clothes (X’s and mine;
\nsometimes X washes them). Then I walk for an hour, then I usually prepare my
\nlesson and go to bed. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>But last
\nnight after my walk at 9:30, I helped X to sew with the sewing machine until
\n10:15. Then I worked with the sewing machine until 11:45; then I did a bit of
\nlesson and at 12:30 I went to bed. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Today I
\nworked on the blouse for three hours. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou must not get
\ninto the habit of going to bed late like that. It is not good \u2013 you will quickly
\nspoil your eyesight, and that would  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 82<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nbe the end of your
\nbeautiful embroideries. The nerves also get tired and then one no longer has the
\nsure hand or the precise movement, one loses one’s patience and calm and the
\nwork one does is no longer neat and trim; everything becomes an approximation
\nand one has to give up all hope of achieving any kind of perfection. I don’t
\nthink this is the result you want to obtain! <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n31 July 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Today,
\nAugust 15th, I didn’t work; I will start from tomorrow. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI think you must
\nhave been proud today to see your superb sari \u2013 is truly regal; and as for me, I
\nwas proud of my little smile and her beautiful work! <\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n15 August 1933<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I have
\nstarted fixing the sari on the embroidery frame and tomorrow this work will be
\nfinished. Afterwards I shall start the embroidery. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I have
\nnothing else to write to You. The only news I have to give You is about my work.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou are very
\nhardworking and painstaking, and if you have nothing to tell me except news of
\nyour work, I have to tell you of all my affection for my dear little smile.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n 22 August 1933 <\/span>
\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Today also
\nI was busy fixing the sari on the frame, but I saw that the sari was not quite
\nstraight. So now I <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 83<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nhave only to undo
\nthis work  which took me three days so as to do it better. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIt is rather
\ntiresome for you, my dear little smile! But it is an exact image of life, where
\none must constantly undo what has been done in order to redo it better. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n24 August 1933<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I do not
\nfeel that I am working; I just play like a child all day with the marvellous
\nplaythings my Mother has given me to play with all day. I don’t know how to
\nwrite in any other way and that is why I write to You \u201cI worked\u201d instead of \u201cI
\nplayed\u201d. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Mother, I
\nthink the sari You wore today is my finest embroidery, don’t You think so?
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n It is a work of
\nart. It is simply splendid. I feel as if I were dressed in light. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n1 September 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I am
\nworking on the grey sari. What else? What can I write to You? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nJust a word is
\nenough to keep the contact, and when you have something interesting to tell me,
\nyou must do so. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n16 October 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>You have a
\nlot of work; I don’t want to take up Your time <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 84<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nAs you like, my
\nlittle smile; I am very busy, it is true, but I could have managed to give you a
\nfew minutes. It is nice of you to think of not increasing my work unnecessarily;
\nthere are not many like you. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n13 November 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Today I
\nworked very little <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou did quite the
\nright thing! <\/span><\/p>\n

\n A great promise
\ncame from above for you yesterday-<\/span>\u00b9<\/span> 
\nthe promise that you will be delivered from all your difficulties and that your
\nmind will become luminously peaceful and your heart quietly content. Did you
\nfeel anything? <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n25 November 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>After the
\nDarshan I was quiet and happy. At the Ashram I saw X and Y and we talked
\ntogether happily. \u201cHow are you?\u201d Y asked me. I had nothing to say, so I asked,
\n\u201cAnd how are you?\u201d She told me, \u201cThis time I spent a lot of time; Sri Aurobindo
\nput his hand on me for a long time\u201d and so on. Then X also said, \u201cThis time I
\nalso spent a little more time, two or three minutes.\u201d <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Then it was
\nlunchtime, so we went to take our plates. I was first and I took my seat with a
\nplace on either side of me. I thought X would sit on one side and Y on the
\nother. But then Z came and sat down beside me. I told her to sit somewhere else
\nand she got angry with me. At that moment X and Y came and, seeing that Z was
\nangry with me, they did not sit with me. I was very hurt because they did not
\nsit with me.  <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n\u00b9<\/font><\/span>November
\n24th, a Darshan day. On the three (later four) Darshan days each year, the
\nsadhaks went before Sri Aurobindo and the Mother to receive their blessings.<\/font><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 85<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\nDo not torment
\nyourself, my little smile; all this has come to teach you that on these
\noccasions, after having had the joy of receiving Sri Aurobindo’s blessing, it is
\nbetter to remain concentrated and to keep one’s joy locked inside oneself rather
\nthan to throw it out by mixing and talking with others. The experiences we talk
\nabout evaporate and we lose the benefit they could have brought us. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n26 November 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPoor little X has
\nbecome very sad Are you so serious with her?<\/span> <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n27 November 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I am not
\nangry with X. I always try to keep silent; so I speak only about important
\nthings, with her as well as with others; that is to say, if she asks me
\nsomething I answer her and I show her the work to be done. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span> Mother, I
\nwant Your presence and I try to keep it at all times. I aspire towards You. I
\nwant You always, all day and all night. I want to live always in Your heart,
\nwhere I can live constantly with X and with all who love You. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span> I have
\nnoticed that when I am concentrated, or rather when I try to concentrate, I
\ncannot smile at anyone and if I try to smile I feel as if I were smiling
\nsuperficially.     <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span> Mother,
\nthis morning I wanted to tell all this to X, but my lips refused; they didn’t
\nwant to smile. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span> Mother, is
\nit good or bad not to be able to speak like that? I want to know, because if it
\nis not good I don’t want it; I will go on speaking as before. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nIt is very good to
\nremain silent and concentrated in your aspiration;  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 86<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nand I
\nam sure that if you keep a deep affection for X in your heart, she will feel it
\nand will no longer be sad. But, of course, if you feel you can explain to her
\nkindly what is happening in you, it will be very good. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n28 November 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>You keep
\npromising me beautiful things and I keep resisting them. How then can I ever be
\nhappy? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou must not worry
\n\u2013 it does not help towards the realisation of the promises; and also you must be
\npatient. In this physical world, things take time to get realised. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n12 December 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Once Sri
\nAurobindo wrote me something with some words that I couldn’t read. I asked X to
\nread them; then he said, \u201cYou are the Mother’s child, not Sri Aurobindo’s.\u201d (It
\nwas just a joke, because I can read Your handwriting but not Sri Aurobindo’s.)
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nDon’t you believe
\nthat when one is a child of the Mother, one is at the same time a child of Sri
\nAurobindo, and vice-versa?<\/span><\/p>\n


\n16 December 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n    
\n<\/span>Yesterday
\nand today I worked all day on the \u201ciris\u201d sari. I love to work for You. Mother, I
\ndon’t know what to write. I have nothing to say. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThat is enough;
\nall I ask is that we exchange a little \u201cbonjour\u201d<\/span>\u00b9<\/span>every day. When
\nyou have something special or important or interesting to write to me, you will
\nwrite.  <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/font><\/span>\u00b9<\/font><\/span>\u201cGood
\nday\u201d, the customary French greeting. <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 87<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nTender love.  <\/span><\/p>\n


\n18 December 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Today also
\nI worked all day on the \u201ciris\u201d sari; I won’t tell You how many hours I work
\nbecause if I write \u201cI worked for ten hours\u201d, You write to me, \u201cIt is amazing\u201d!
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n You are a
\ncourageous and energetic child. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\n Tender love.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n19 December 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>The \u201ciris\u201d
\nflowers are very beautiful. Mother, what do they signify? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n\u201cAristocracy of
\nbeauty\u201d. It is a noble flower which stands upright on its stalk. Its form has
\nbeen stylised in the fleur-de-lis, emblem of the kings of France. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n23 December 1933<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span> Today also
\nI worked all day on the blouse. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nAll my affection
\nfor my hardworking little smile. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n29 December 1933<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

What can
\nI write? Today I worked on the sari. <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 88<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nWhat can I say?
\nthat I am always with you in your work and your rest, your sleep and your
\nwaking. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nAffectionately.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n3 January 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMy dear Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Yesterday
\nwhile ironing the blouse I scorched it in a few places. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI didn’t notice
\nit, so it can’t be anything much. That is probably why you looked so grave at
\nPranam this morning. You should not torment yourself over such little things.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\n Tender love.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n11 January 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI shall always be
\nwith you, my dear little child, in the struggle and in the victory. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n13 January 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span> Today I
\nworked on the sari for nine hours. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nThen the work must
\nbe proceeding very fast. You have a marvellous capacity for work, my dear little
\nchild. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n18 January 1934<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nchild, why were you weeping so much this morning at Pranam? I was so sorry I
\ncould not comfort you. Won’t you tell me about your sorrow so that I may remove
\nit if possible? You know that all my love is always with you as well as my best
\nwill to help you out of your difficulties. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n24 January 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 89<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Today also
\nI worked all day on the sari. Sometimes I become a naughty child, don’t I,
\nMother? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nNot naughty, poor
\nlittle one, only a little sad, and that distresses me, for I would like to see
\nyou always full of light and joy. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n26 January 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I know that
\nthere are beautiful things in my little heart. There are bad things too, as You
\nknow, Mother \u2013 I have told You about them. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>But this
\nlittle heart is full of love. Mother, we are going to burn all the bad things in
\nthis little heart. Then in my heart there will only be a very, very sweet love
\nfor You alone. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nWhat you have
\nwritten here is very beautiful and it is also very true. The beautiful things
\nare far stronger than the ugly ones and they will surely win the victory. I am
\nwith you always, in the struggle and in the victory. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n29 January 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>This
\nmorning X showed me the pink blouse she has embroidered with silver thread. This
\nblouse is very, very beautiful. The sari too will be the most beautiful one in
\nYour collection of saris embroidered by us. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Before
\nseeing X’s blouse I used to think that my bird-of-paradise<\/span>\u00b9<\/span>
\nsari was very beautiful; but now that I have seen this blouse, I find that the
\nbird-of-paradise sari is nothing compared to the one X is preparing. <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n\u00b9<\/font><\/span>The
\nMother’s name for the Tiger-claw plant, Heliconia metallica. <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

\n Page \u2013 90<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nThat is not true;
\neach has its own particular beauty and style. The bird-of-paradise is a very
\nbeautiful sari. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\nHer blouse is
\ntruly the most beautiful one. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI cannot say
\nwhether it is the most beautiful or not. Each of the embroidered saris has its
\nown beauty; but it is true that this blouse is very beautiful. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n30 January 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I once told
\nYou that if someone made something beautiful for You we ought to be happy, no
\nmatter who made it, myself or someone else; I mean that upon seeing a very
\nbeautiful thing someone has made for You, one ought to be very happy, and all
\nthose who love my sweet Mother will naturally be happy. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Do You know
\nthat when I saw X’s blouse, I felt as if another person had made something more
\nbeautiful than I had. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Mother, I
\nknow why I felt like that. Up to now I have had in me a kind of pride in my
\nwork: \u201cI make finer things than anyone else here\u201d, something like that. And that
\nis why when I saw something very beautiful made by someone else, my pride
\nreceived a good hard blow. Isn’t that true? (Mother, here I recall a sentence I
\nonce heard Y telling someone: \u201cMother knows how to give blows.\u201d) <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI assure you that
\nI do not deliberately give blows. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, why are
\nthese silly things in me? I don’t want them. They have been in me long enough.
\nNow I don’t want them. I shall not rest until You come into my heart<\/span><\/i> <\/span>and live there
\neternally.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 91<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>My Mother,
\ngive me purity and constancy in my aspiration. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nCertain conditions
\nin us (and pride is one of them) automatically invite blows from the surrounding
\ncircumstances. And it is up to us to utilise these blows to make further
\nprogress. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nYou are right in
\nwanting all this pettiness and stupidity to disappear. I am fully with you in
\nthis determination and I am sure that you will triumph. <\/span>
\n  <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n31 January 1934<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Today I
\nhave nothing to write. As usual I worked all day. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI hope that this
\nnew month will bring you the realisation you desire: a happy calm, an invariable
\npeace, a luminous silence. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nSuch is my wish
\nand my blessing. <\/span>
\n  <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n1 February 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I shall
\ncapture You in my heart. I don’t need to think of peace and happiness. When You
\ndwell in our hearts, these things are sure to be there. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou will not have
\nto go far to seize me, for I am already in your heart and as soon as your eyes
\nare opened you will see me there; turn your faculty of feeling inward instead of
\nletting it project {94outward, and you will feel my presence as concretely (even
\nmore so) as you feel the cold and the heat. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n2 February 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 92<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nMy beloved Mother,
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>You are
\nalready in my heart, it is true. But I don’t know how to open my eyes; they are
\nalways open except when I sleep. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI am speaking of
\nyour inner eyes, not the physical ones. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n


\n\u201cTurn your faculty
\nof feeling inward instead of letting it project outward.\u201d Mother, when I feel
\nsomething I feel it in my heart (and I think everyone feels in his heart). I
\ndon’t know how to feel outward. I don’t understand what You mean by \u201coutward\u201d.
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nI mean that
\ninstead of living in the perceptions of the sense-organs, which are exclusively
\noccupied with outward things, you should concentrate in the inner being, which
\nhas a life independent of the senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch).
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n3 February 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Why didn’t
\nYou return the letter to me (the one You wrote to me) after I sent it to You
\nthis morning with my letter? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I want to
\nlie on Your lap, Mother. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPoor little one, I
\nvery gladly take you on my lap and cradle you to my heart to soothe this heavy
\nsorrow which has no cause and to quell this great revolt which has no reason.
\nLet me take you in my arms, bathe you in my love and wipe away even the memory
\nof this unfortunate incident. I kept the letter to show it to Sri Aurobindo
\nalong with your letter of this morning. I am returning it to you in this
\nnotebook. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n27 February 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 93<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nNo, my dear child,
\nI am sure I didn’t tell you that you wanted to hide something from me. When you
\nstarted crying under the pressure I was putting on you in meditation to calm the
\nrestlessness of your mind and vital, I thought that it might relieve you to tell
\nme the cause of your sorrow, and when you didn’t reply, I simply asked whether
\nyou wanted to speak, so as not to insist unnecessarily. You were mistaken if you
\nthought I was showing displeasure. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nUnfortunately, for
\nsome time now you have closed up inside yourself, and that is why I cannot help
\nyou as much as I would like to. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nAffectionately.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n7 July 1934<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear child,
\nthis is certainly a most unexpected way of interpreting this vision. I hadn’t
\ngiven it that meaning at all. The images in these visions are always symbolic
\nand should be taken as such. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nThe rocks
\nrepresent the material nature, hard and inflexible yet concealing in itself the
\nstream of life. Because of the resistance of matter, this stream of life is
\nfreed only with difficulty and can hardly emerge into the light. But with a
\nlittle concentration and insistence, the resistance of matter lessens and the
\nlife-forces are freed. This image applies to almost everyone, but in this case
\nit concerned you because you were present, and I took it as a promise that your
\ndifficulties would give w<\/span><\/p>\n

\n       <\/span>With
\nmy love. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n11 July 1934<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Ten yards
\nof cloth cost 25 rupees, 15 annas \u2013 that is, 2 rupees, 9 1\/2
\nannas per yard. <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 94<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nThis evening X and I dyed the big ten-yard piece. But it was not
\nsuccessful: the dyeing is irregular: some places are dark and some are pale. You
\nwill see it tomorrow morning. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear child, I
\ndidn’t reply at once because I wanted to see the cloth first. There are
\nirregularities, of course, but it seems to me that they can be put right. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nI don’t think it
\nwould be good to dye it again. It would become too dark. But we can take the
\nirregularities as movements of water and underline them with a fine gold thread;
\nthen it will look as if it were done deliberately and it will be even lovelier.
\nNext time I see you, I shall show you exactly what I mean. Don’t worry, it will
\nbe quite all right. You may start your work right away. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n6 September 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n    
\n<\/span>Now I don
\n‘t feel like doing the fishes. I shall do them in five years. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I would
\nrather start on the green sari with gold and silver dragons, for 21 February
\n1935 \u2013 if You ask someone to do the drawing. Because the green cloth and the
\ngold and silver thread are all ready. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I am
\ndisappointed, I cannot do the fishes now. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou can ask X if
\nhe would like to draw the dragons for you.<\/span> <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n7 September 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou are my little
\nchild and you will always be my little child \u2013 that is a sure fact. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nBut when little
\nchildren prove to be unreasonable, it is very difficult to reason with them. Now
\nif you want me to tell you  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 95<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nwhat I think, it
\nis this: Y has taken a lot of trouble and made a very beautiful drawing, a
\nbeautiful piece of cloth has been purchased at a cost of Rs. 30, you and Z have
\ntaken a great deal of trouble to dye it, and I tell you that I have found a way
\nof utilising the irregularities of the dyeing to make a sari far more beautiful
\nthan we had thought, and yet without considering you write in a fit of bad
\ntemper: \u201cI don’t want to do this sari any more, I will do another one.\u201d
\nNaturally I thought that now I would have to ask X to go to the trouble of
\nmaking another drawing, and if by chance another difficulty crops up, this
\nlittle child may once again say: \u201cI am disappointed, I don’t want to do this
\nsari,\u201d and X will have worked for nothing. That is why I told you to ask him for
\nthe drawing yourself. He has just today sent me the design of the crown with
\nfishes. It is very, very pretty. And if you want my opinion, I suggest that you
\nfirst take up the crown\\ will set you going on the sari itself; and you will see
\nthat everything will be all right, completely all right. I am sending you the
\ndesign of the crown.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nWith my love.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n8 September 1934<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Last night
\nwhen I went to bed at about 9:30, I felt a sort of fear, as if someone were
\nthere or someone might come. I shut my eyes and after a moment, in my sleep, I
\nfelt a sort of fear. I opened my eyes, looked at the sky, and then closed my
\neyes again. I saw something like a cloud coming slowly and I opened my eyes
\n<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nsmile, <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nYou must not be
\nafraid. If you see something that frightens you or you have an unpleasant
\nfeeling, you must call me and the thing will disappear. When you are awake,
\nsurely you are not afraid of an approaching thunder-cloud; why should it
\nfrighten you at night?
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 96<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nPut yourself in my
\narms without fear and be sure that nothing can harm you. My force and my
\nprotection are always with you. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nWith my tender
\nlove. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n18 June 1935<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nsmile, <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nYou are absolutely
\nright, and I don’t see why, instead of reading interesting things, you should
\nstart doing boring exercises.    <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nTo learn a
\nlanguage one must read, read, read and talk as much as one can. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nWith all my love.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n10 July 1935<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nsmile, <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nYou have described
\nyour condition very well and since you are so conscious of it, I feel that soon
\nyou will be able to master it. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nIt goes without
\nsaying that our help is always with you to bring you peace and silence, and it
\nis absolutely certain that peace and silence will be established in you some day
\nnever to leave you again. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nVery
\naffectionately. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n8 August 1935<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nsmile, <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nYou are quite
\nright. I much prefer a beautiful embroidered sari to a lace gown. It is not a
\nquestion of number or of need. For years I was perfectly satisfied with two
\nsaris a year but I am proud of the beautiful things my dear children make for me
\nand I wear them with affection and joy.  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 97<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nMy blessings and
\nmy love are always with you. <\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n10 December 1935<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>You told me
\nthat there is something closed in me which isn’t open to You and this is why,
\neven when I want to feel Your love in my heart (which You say is already there)
\nI do not feel it. What is it that is closed? My heart? Or something else? I
\ndon’t understand all this. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I want my
\nheart to open to You and to feel Your love there always. But if it is really
\nclosed, how can I open it? What must I do to open it? For I really do want it to
\nopen to You and I want to feel happy for ever. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nsmile, <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nI know of only one
\nway: to give oneself a complete consecration to the Divine. The more one gives
\noneself, the more one opens; the more one opens, the more one receives; and in
\nthe intimacy of this self-giving one can become conscious of the inner Presence
\nand the joy it brings. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nTender love from
\nyour mother. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n25 July 1936<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I shall
\ntell You frankly when I don’t feel happy: it is when someone joyfully tells me
\nabout his beautiful and happy experiences that I feel so poor; I feel then that
\nI do not yet have in me what I should have. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>And I
\nalways ask You for silence and peace (as I told You the other day) because I
\nknow that if one can always keep that silence and peace one never feels poor for
\nany reason. <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 98<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n


\nI don’t want to
\nbe, I don’t want to feel so poor. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nYou have already
\nhad this experience of peace and silent joy; you know what it is and it is sure
\nto come back stronger and steadier. Remain confident, do not torment yourself in
\nthis way you will hasten its coming. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nTender love from
\nyour mother. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n30 July 1936<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>I find that
\nI have lost everything. All that was good in me, all is lost. Previously I
\nalways felt that all I did was for You; in all the work I did, this feeling of
\n\u201cdoing it for You\u201d was always with me. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Now I find
\nthat I have lost this feeling. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy dear little
\nchild, <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nAre you aware of
\nany cause for this change? Surely there is one. Besides, these days when the
\nAshram is full of visitors,<\/span>\u00b9<\/span>
\nthere is a great confusion which often brings a clouding of the consciousness.
\nYou must not let this upset you too much, but simply aspire with calm and
\nperseverance for the light to reappear. My love is always with you to help you
\ngo through this bad moment. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nAffectionately.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n30 August 1936<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n


\nMother, <\/span>
\n<\/i><\/p>\n


\n   
\n<\/span>Yes, I
\nthink I know the cause of this change. Isn’t it the desire to be admired by
\npeople ego? Or is it something else? If You know, You will let me know. I must
\nknow what it is in order to get rid of it. <\/span><\/i>
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n   
\n<\/font> <\/span>
\n\u00b9<\/font><\/span>The
\nperiod around August 15, Sri Aurobindo’s birthday. <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 99<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nYes, my dear
\nlittle child, you have indeed found the cause; and weren’t you a little annoyed
\nthat I didn’t wear your embroidered saris all these days? It is certainly not
\nbecause I dislike wearing them quite the contrary. But they are rather heavy and
\nwarm and I prefer to keep them for wearing between November and January at that
\ntime there are many visitors because of the vacations and I shall then wear the
\nembroidered saris with the greatest pleasure since the season is a bit cooler.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nIt is true that
\nyou must get rid of these ignorant and petty movements; but at the same time,
\nyou may be sure that I appreciate and love your work immensely. I have great
\nadmiration for your embroidery, and for you, great love. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nYour mother.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n31 August 1936<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy little \u201cEternal
\nSmile\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nMust go on
\nsmiling, smiling still more when the difficulties come. Smiles are like rays of
\nthe sun, they dissolve the clouds And if you want the radical remedy it lies in
\nthis: frankness, be absolutely frank; tell me fully all that is going on in you,
\nand soon the cure will come, a complete and happy cure. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nTo my little smile
\nvery affectionately. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n6 September 1936<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nMy chil<\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nDon’t pretend to
\nbe silly when you are not. Not only was I not angry, but I had not the slightest
\nintention of looking angry. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nI only looked
\nstraight into your soul, trying to reestablish the connection between it and
\nyour exterior consciousness. And I took your laughter for a sign of conversion!
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nBeware of false
\npride\\ leads only to ruin. And do not belittle the Divine’s love, because
\nwithout it nothing is worth living for.  <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage – 100<\/span><\/p>\n

\n\t<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span><\/div>\n

\nI know that you
\nare too sensible and sensitive to ignore this truth. <\/span><\/p>\n

\nAlways lovingly.
\n<\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n6 September 1936<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\nBonne F\u00eate!<\/span><\/b> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nTo [my<\/span><\/p>\n

\n    <\/span>
\nWith my love and
\nblessings that her aspiration may be realised this year. <\/span>
\n <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n


\n6 January 1963<\/span><\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 101<\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

 SERIES THREE  Series Three     Letters to \u201cMy little smile\u201d   To \u201cMy little smile\u201d, one of the first children admitted to the Sri…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[121],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-16-some-answers-from-the-mother-volume-16","wpcat-121-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4283","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4283"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4283\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}