{"id":4479,"date":"2013-07-13T01:56:18","date_gmt":"2013-07-13T01:56:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=4479"},"modified":"2013-07-13T01:56:18","modified_gmt":"2013-07-13T01:56:18","slug":"03-1-april-1953-vol-05-questions-and-answers-volume-05","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/02-works-of-the-mother\/01-cwmce\/05-questions-and-answers-volume-05\/03-1-april-1953-vol-05-questions-and-answers-volume-05","title":{"rendered":"-03_1 April 1953.htm"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n
\n
\n

\n1 April 1953 <\/font> <\/span>\n<\/p>\n

 <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAmbition has been the undoing of many
\nYogis. That canker can hide long. Many people start on the Path without any
\nsense of it. But when they get powers, their ambition rises up, all the more
\nviolently because it had not been thrown out in the beginning.\u201d <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Questions and Answers 1929 (14 April)<\/font><\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

       What
\ndo you call a \u201ccanker\u201d?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/span><\/p>\n

It
\nis an image, as of a fine mango, very beautiful to look at, and when one opens
\nit, there is a worm inside. That is because the fly laid an egg before the
\nfruit was formed; outside there is no trace. Everything seems candid,
\ndisinterested. But within, right at the bottom, there is a great ambition, the
\ndesire to have an exceptional position, to be respected by everybody.. that is,
\nthe ego. This is the canker, it remains very quiet, but it is there. When the
\npower comes, instead of realising that one is nothing, does not deserve
\nanything and that all that one has to do is to remain as passive as possible,
\none deceives oneself, feels the need of others taking note of it also. It is
\nthis I call the canker. It eats up all that is inside and leaves the appearance
\nintact. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/span><\/p>\n

You say that it is necessary to establish
\n\u201chomogeneity in our being\u201d? <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t
\nyou know what a homogeneous thing is, made up of all similar parts? That means
\nthe whole being must be under the same influence, same consciousness, same
\ntendency, same will. We are formed of all kinds of different pieces. They
\nbecome active one after another. According to the part that is active, one is
\nquite another person, becomes almost another personality. For
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\nPage<\/font><\/span> \u2013 8<\/span><\/font><\/ins><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

instance,
\none had an aspiration at first, felt that everything existed only for the
\nDivine, then something happens, somebody comes along, one has to do something, and
\neverything disappears. One tries to recall the experience, not even the memory
\nof the experience remains. One is completely under another influence, one
\nwonders how this could have happened. There are examples of double, triple,
\nquadruple personalities, altogether unconscious of themselves But it is not
\nabout this I am speaking; I am speaking about something which has happened to
\nall of you: you have had an experience, and for some time you have felt,
\nunderstood that this experience was the only thing that was important, that had
\nan absolute value – half an hour later you try to recall it, it is like a smoke
\nthat vanishes. The experience has disappeared. And yet half an hour ago it was
\nthere and so powerful It is because one is made of all kinds of different
\nthings. The body is like a bag with pebbles and pearls all mixed up, and it is
\nonly the bag which keeps all that together. This is not a homogeneous, uniform
\nconsciousness but a heterogeneous one. <\/span><\/p>\n

You
\ncan be a different person at different moments in your life. I know people who
\ntook decisions, had a strong will, knew what they wanted and prepared to do it.
\nThen there was a little reversal in the being; another part came up and spoilt
\nall the work in ten minutes. What had been accomplished in two months was all
\nundone. When the first part comes back it is in dismay, it says: \u201cWhat!…\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cThen the whole work has to be started again,
\nslowly. Hence it is evident that it is very important to become aware of the
\npsychic being; one must have a kind of signpost or a mirror in which all things
\nare reflected and show themselves as they truly are. And then, according to
\nwhat they are, one puts them in one place or another; one begins to explain, to
\norganise. That takes time. The same part comes back three or four times and
\nevery part that comes up says: \u201cPut me in the first place; what the others do
\nis not important, not at all important, it is I who will decide, for I am the
\nmost important.\u201d I am sure <\/span>
\n
\n <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 9<\/font><\/span><\/ins><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

that if you
\nlook at yourself, you will see that there\u2019s not one among you who has not had
\nthe experience. You want to become conscious, to have goodwill, you have
\nunderstood, your aspiration is shining – all is brilliant, illuminated; but all
\nof a sudden something happens, a useless conversation, some unfortunate
\nreading, and that upsets everything. Then one thinks that it was an illusion
\none lived in, that all things were seen from a certain angle.<\/span><\/p>\n

This
\nis life. One stumbles and falls at the first occasion. One tells oneself: \u201cOh!
\nOne can\u2019t always be so serious\u201d, and when the other part returns, once again,
\none repents bitterly: \u201cI was a fool, I have wasted my time, now I must begin
\nagain….\u00a0 <\/span>\u201c At times there is one part
\nthat\u2019s ill-humoured, in revolt, full of worries, and another which is
\nprogressive, full of surrender. All that, one after the other. <\/span><\/p>\n

There
\nis but one remedy: that signpost must always be there, a mirror well placed in
\none\u2019s feelings, impulses, all one\u2019s sensations. One sees them in this mirror.
\nThere are some which are not very beautiful or pleasant to look at; there are
\nothers which are beautiful, pleasant, and must be kept. This one does a hundred
\ntimes a day if necessary. And it is very interesting. One draws a kind of big
\ncircle around the psychic mirror and arranges all the elements around it. If
\nthere is something that is not all right, it casts a sort of grey shadow upon
\nthe mirror: this element must be shifted, organised. It must be spoken to, made
\nto understand, one must come out of that darkness. If you do that, you never
\nget bored. When people are not kind, when one has a cold in the head, when one
\ndoesn\u2019t know one\u2019s lessons, and so on, one begins to look into this mirror. It
\nis very interesting, one sees the canker. \u201cI thought I was sincere!\u201d \u2013 not at
\nall. <\/span><\/p>\n

Not
\na thing happens in life which is not interesting. This mirror is very, very
\nwell made. Do that for two years, three, four years, at times one must do it
\nfor twenty years. Then at the end of a few years, look back, turn your gaze
\nupon what
\n <\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\nPage \u2013 10<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\n

<\/span><\/div>\n

you were
\nthree years ago: \u201cHow I have changed!.. Was I like that?…\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cIt is very entertaining. \u201cI could speak like
\nthat? I could talk like that, think like that?.. But I was indeed stupid! How I
\nhave changed!\u201d It\u2019s very interesting, isn\u2019t it?
\n
\n <\/ins><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\nPage \u2013 11<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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