{"id":5443,"date":"2013-07-13T02:01:45","date_gmt":"2013-07-13T02:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/?p=5443"},"modified":"2013-07-13T02:01:45","modified_gmt":"2013-07-13T02:01:45","slug":"07-april-1914-vol-01-prayers-and-meditations-1948","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/02-works-of-the-mother\/02other-editions\/01-prayers-and-meditations\/01-prayers-and-meditations-1948\/07-april-1914-vol-01-prayers-and-meditations-1948","title":{"rendered":"-07_April 1914.htm"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\n\n
\n

\nApril<\/b><\/i> l, 1914 <\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nIT seems to me that we have entered into the heart of Thy sanctuary and become aware of Thy
\nwill itself. A great joy, a deep peace reign in me,
\nand yet all my inner constructions have vanished
\nlike a vain dream, and I find myself now before
\nThy immensity, without any frame or system, like
\na being not yet individualised. All that past, in its
\nexternal form, appears to me ridiculous and arbitrary, and yet I know that it was useful in its time.
\n<\/font><\/p>\n

\nBut at present all is changed: a new stage has
\nbegun. <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nApril<\/i> 2, 1914<\/a> <\/font><\/b><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nEVERYDAY, at the moment when I wish to write I am interrupted, as if the new period which
\nis opening before us was a period of expansion rather than of concentration. <\/b> It <\/b> is in the activity of each
\nFoment that we must serve Thee and be identified <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 89<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nwith Thee, rather than in deep and mute contemplation or in written or unwritten meditation. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nBut my heart does not tire of singing to Thee a
\ncanticle and my thought is constantly full of
\nThee. <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nApril<\/i> 3, 1914<\/a> <\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nIT seems to me that I am being born into a new life and that all the methods and habits of the
\npast can no longer be of any use. It seems to me
\nthat what was once a result is now only a preparation.
\nI feel as if I had done nothing yet, as if I had not
\nlived the spiritual life, as if I was only entering upon
\nthe way which leads to it; it seems to me that I know
\nnothing, that I am incapable of formulating anything,
\nthat all experience is yet to commence. It is as if
\nI was stripped of all my past, of my errors as well
\nas my conquests, as if all that had disappeared to
\ngive place to one new-born whose whole existence
\nhas yet to take shape, who has no Karma, no experience it can profit by, but no error either which it
\nmust repair. My head is empty of all knowledge and
\nall certitude, but also of all vain thought. I feel
\nthat if I can surrender without any resistance to
\nthis state, if I do not strive to know or understand,
\nif I consent to be completely like a child, ignorant
\nand candid, some new possibility will open before <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 90<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nme. I know that I must now definitively give myself
\nup and be like a page absolutely blank on which
\nThy thought. Thy will, O Lord, will be able to
\ninscribe themselves freely, secure against all deformation. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nAn immense gratitude rises from my heart, I
\nseem to have at last arrived at the threshold which
\nI have so long sought. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nGrant, O Lord, that I may be pure enough, impersonal
\nenough, animated enough with Thy divine
\nlove, to be able to cross it definitively. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO to belong to Thee, without any darkness of restriction ! <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n
\nApril<\/i> 4, 1914<\/a> <\/font><\/b><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nO LORD, my adoration rises ardently towards
\nThee, all my being is like an aspiration, a flame
\nwhich is consecrated to Thee. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Lord, Lord, my sweet Master, it is Thou who livest and wiliest in me !
\n<\/font><\/p>\n

\nThis body is Thy instrument; this will is Thy servant; this intelligence is Thy tool; and the whole
\nis only Thyself. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 91<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\n April<\/i> 7,1914<\/a> <\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nWHAT is then my courage if I always try to
\navoid the fight ? What is then my energy if I
\nam instinctively afraid of the new effort to be made and
\ntry, without being aware of it, to go to sleep passively,
\ncounting upon the results of the past effort ? To act
\nI have to be compelled and my mute contemplation
\nis<\/b> partly made of laziness…All that appears to me more and more
\nclearly. All I have done up to the present seems to me to be nothing. The poverty and limitation of the instrument which I put at Thy service,
\nO Lord, are evident to me, and I laugh a little sorrow-
\nfully at the idea that I could sometimes have a good
\nopinion of my being, of its efforts and their results.
\nThis threshold of the true life which I am always thinking that I have attained is like a hope which is given to
\nme but never a tangible realisation; it is the toy
\npromised to a child, the reward held out before
\nthe weak. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nWhen then shall I be a truly strong being entirely
\nmade of courage, energy, valour and calm perseverance; when shall I have forgotten my personality com-
\npletely enough to be only an instrument solely moulded
\nby the forces it has to manifest? When will there be no
\ninertia mixed with my consciousness of unity; when
\nwith my feeling of divine love will there be no longer
\nmixed any weakness ? <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Lord, all thought seems dead in me, now that I have put these questions. I search for my conscious <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 92<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nmind and find it no more; I search for my individuality and discover it nowhere; I search for my
\npersonal will and it is absent. I search for Thee and
\nthere is no word from Thee… Silence, only silence. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nI seem now to hear Thy voice: "Never hast thou
\nbeen able to die integrally. Always something in
\nthee has wished to know, to see, to understand. Surrender completely, learn how to disappear, break the
\nlast dam which separates thee from me, accomplish-
\nwithout reserve thy act of surrender." Alas, O
\nLord, for a long time I have wanted to do it, but I
\nhave not been able. Now wilt Thou give me the power
\nto do it? <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Lord, my sweet eternal Master, break this resistance which fills me with anguish…deliver me from
\nmyself! <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nApril 8, 1914<\/a><\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nO LORD, my thought is peaceful and my heart is at
\nrest; I turn towards Thee with a deep devotion and limitless confidence; I know that Thy love is
\nall-powerful and that Thy justice will reign upon
\nthe earth; I know that the hour is near when the last
\nveil will be withdrawn and all iniquity disappear to give place to an era of peace and harmonious effort.
\nO Lord, my mind drawn inward and my heart at peace approach Thee and all my being is filled
\nwith
\nThy divine Presence; grant that I may see only <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 93<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nThee in everything and that all may shine with Thy
\ndivine Light. O,<\/b> may hatreds be appeased, rancours
\neffaced, fears dispelled, suspicions abolished and
\nmalevolences overcome, and in this town, in this
\ncountry, on this earth, may all hearts feel vibrating in them this sublime love,
\nthe source of all transfiguration.<\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Lord, with what an ardent appeal I implore Thy
\nlove. Grant that my aspiration may be intense enough
\nto awaken every v\/here a like aspiration: <\/b> O, may kindness, justice, peace reign as sovereign masters, may
\nignorant egoism be overcome, may darkness be suddenly illumined by Thy pure Light; may the blind
\nsee, may the deaf hear, may Thy law be proclaimed
\nin every place and, in a union constantly progressive,
\nin a harmony ever more perfect, may all, as a single
\nbeing, stretch out their arms towards Thee to identify
\nthemselves with Thee and to manifest Thee upon
\nthe earth.<\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Lord, with the mind drawn inward and the
\nheart full of sun-light, I give myself to Thee without
\n.reserve and the " I" disappears in Thee !<\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n
\n.April<\/i> 10, 1914<\/a><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/b><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nSUDDENLY the veil was rent, the horizon was disclosed. Before the clear . vision my whole
\nbeing threw itself at Thy feet in a great outburst of<\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 94<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\ngratitude. Yet in spite of this deep and integral joy, all
\nwas calm, all was peaceful with the peace of eternity. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nI seem to have no more limits; there is no longer
\nthe perception of the body, no sensations, no feelings,
\nno thoughts….A clear, pure, tranquil immensity, penetrated with love and light, filled with an unspeakable
\nbeatitude, is all that is there, and that alone seems now to be myself, and this "myself" is so little the former "I", selfish and limited, that I cannot tell if it is
\n<\/b>I or <\/b>Thou, O Lord, sublime Master of our destinies. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nIt is as though all were energy, courage, force, will,
\ninfinite sweetness, incomparable compassion. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nEven more forcibly than during these last days the
\npast is dead and as though buried under the rays of a
\nnew life. The last glance that I have just thrown
\nbackward, as I read a few pages of this book,
\ndefinitively convinced me of this death, and lightened of a great weight, I
\npresent myself before Thee, O my divine Master, with all the simplicity, all the
\nnudity of a child…And still the only thing I perceive is that calm and pure immensity…. Lord, Thou
\nhast answered my prayer. Thou hast granted me what
\n1 have asked from Thee; the "I" has disappeared, there is only a docile instrument put at Thy
\nservice, a centre of concentration and manifestation of Thy infinite and eternal rays; Thou hast taken
\nmy life and made it Thine; Thou hast taken my
\nwill and hast united it to Thine; Thou hast taken my love and identified it with Thine; Thou hast taken my
\nthought and replaced it by Thy absolute Consciousness. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 95<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nThe body, marvelling, bows its forehead in the dust in mute and submissive adoration. And nothing else
\nexists but Thou alone in the splendour of Thy
\nimmutable peace. <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n
\nKarikal, April<\/a><\/i> 13, 1914<\/a> <\/font><\/b><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nALL conspires to prevent me from remaining a being of habits, and in this new state, in the
\nmidst of these complex and unstable circumstances, I
\nhave never so completely lived Thy immutable peace,
\nor rather the "I" has never so completely disappeared
\nleaving Thy divine peace to live alone. All is beautiful, harmonious and calm, all is full of Thee. Thou
\nshinest in the dazzling sun. Thou makest Thyself
\nfelt in the sweet breeze that blows. Thou makest
\nThyself manifest in our hearts and livest in all beings.
\nThere is no animal, no plant that does not speak
\nto me of Thee and Thy name is written on all I
\nlook at. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO<\/font><\/b>,<\/b> my sweet Lord, hast Thou at last granted that
\nI should be wholly Thine and my consciousness
\ndefinitively united with Thine ? What have I done
\nto<\/b> merit so glorious a happiness? Nothing more than
\nto desire it and will it with constancy, that is very
\nlittle. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nBut, O Lord, since now it is Thy will and not
\nmine that lives in me. Thou canst make this happiness <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 96<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nprofitable to all and make its reason of existence the
\ngiving to the greatest possible number of beings a
\nperception of Thee. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO may all know Thee, love Thee, serve Thee; may
\nall receive the supreme consecration! <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Love, divine Love, spread in the world, regenerate life, enlighten the intelligence, break down the
\ndams of egoism, dispel the obstacle of ignorance and
\nbe the resplendent Master of the earth. <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n
\nPondicherry, April<\/a><\/i> 17, 1914<\/a> <\/font><\/b><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nO LORD, O almighty Master, sole Reality, grant
\nthat no error, no obscurity, no fatal ignorance
\nmay creep into my heart and my thought. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nIn action, the personality is the inevitable and
\nindispensable intermediary of Thy will and Thy
\nforces. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nThe stronger, the more complex, powerful, individualised and conscious is the personality, the more
\npowerfully and usefully can the instrument serve.
\nBut, by reason of the very character of personality,
\nit easily tends to be drawn into the fatal illusion of
\nits separate existence and become little by little a
\nscreen between Thee and that on which Thou wiliest
\nto act. Not at the beginning, in the manifestation,
\nbut in the transmission of the return; that is to say, instead of being, as a faithful servant, an intermediary <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 97<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nwho brings back to Thee exactly what is Thy due
\n\u2014the forces sent forth in reply to Thy action\u2014there
\nis a tendency in the personality to want to keep for
\nitself a part of the forces, with this idea: "It is I who
\nhave done this or that, I who am thanked…"
\nPernicious illusion, obscure falsehood, now are you
\ndiscovered and unmasked. That is’ the maleficent canker corroding the fruit of the action, falsifying all
\nits results. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Lord, O my sweet Master, sole Reality, dispel
\nthis feeling of the "I". I have now understood that
\nso long as there will be a manifested universe, the
\n"I" will remain necessary for Thy manifestation, to
\ndissolve, or even to diminish or weaken the "I", is
\nto deprive Thee of the means of manifestation, in
\nwhole or part. But what must be radically’ and definitively suppressed, is the illusory thought, the illusory
\nfeeling, the illusory sensation of the separate "I".
\nAt no moment, in no circumstances must we forget
\nthat our "I" has no reality outside Thee. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO my sweet Master, my divine Lord, tear out from
\nmy heart this illusion that Thy servant may become ; pure and faithful, and faithfully and integrally bring
\nback to Thee all that is Thy due. In silence let me
\ncontemplate and understand this supreme ignorance
\nand dispel it for ever. Chase the shadow from my heart, and let Thy light reign in it, its uncontested
\nsovereign. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 98<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nApril 18, 1914<\/a><\/font><\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nYESTERDAY evening the last veil was almost rent, the last stronghold of the blind and ignorant
\npersonality seemed to be on the point of yielding; for
\nthe first time I thought I understood what is true
\nimpersonal service, and the obstacle which separated
\nme from the integral realisation appeared to me very
\nfragile, on the point of definitively disappearing.
\nBut the necessity of my outer duties tore me out of
\nthis beneficent and happy contemplation, and at the
\nmoment when I was obliged to return to the outer
\nconsciousness, the veil closed again and appears to
\nme darker than ever. Why this fall into the inconscience of the night after so great a light? <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Lord, Lord, wilt Thou not let me escape at last
\nfrom the ignorance and be one with Thee? Now that
\nI have known and seen so well what must be the
\nwork upon the earth, shall I not be able to realise
\nit? Am I then rivetted to the ignorance and illusion? <\/font><\/p>\n

\nWhy, why this night after so great and pure a
\nlight? All my being is strained in an agonising appeal! <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Lord, take pity on me! <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nA<\/font><\/i>pril<\/i> 19, 1914<\/font><\/a> <\/font>
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nTHERE is a great difference between being active
\nin an external action, even while keeping our <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage -99<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nthought constantly fixed on Thee, and entering into
\nthat perfect union with Thee which leads to what I
\nhave called " the absolute Consciousness, the true
\nOmniscience, the Knowledge". When we act, even with
\nour thought fixed on Thee, we are like a blind man-
\nwalking on the road, with a sense of the direction,,
\nbut knowing nothing of the way he follows and of the
\nprecise manner in which he should walk on it so as
\nto avoid neglecting anything. In the other case, on the
\ncontrary, there is the clear vision in the full light, the
\nutilisation of the smallest opportunity, the plenitude
\nof action, the maximum of result. And if the first
\nattitude is indispensable before attaining to the other,
\nwe must not at any moment cease to work, to make
\nan effort to attain to the perfect communion. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nBut my heart is at peace, my thought free from
\nimpatience, and I give myself to Thy will with the
\nsmiling confidence of a child. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nMay Thy peace reign over all. <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n
\nApril 20,<\/i> 1914<\/a> <\/font><\/b><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nAFTER I had hoped so much, after I had come to believe that my outer being was at last to
\nbecome an instrument adapted to Thy ends, after the
\nhope had come of being delivered at last from this ego,
\nso cumbersome and obscure, I feel as far from the goal as before, as ignorant, as egoistic as I was before <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 100<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nthis great expectation. And once more the way rolls
\n.out interminable across the fields of inconscience.
\nThe sublime door is again closed and again I find
\nmyself on the threshold of the sanctuary without any
\npower to enter. But I have learnt to regard everything smilingly with a tranquil heart. Only I ask Thee,
\nO my divine Master, not to let me commit errors; even if the instrument is condemned again for a
\ntime to inconscience, grant that it may faithfully and
\ndocilely let itself be guided by Thy divine law. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nI salute Thee, O Lord, with a profound and pure
\ndevotion. Oh! be the sovereign Master of all hearts. <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nApril<\/i> 23, 1914<\/a> <\/b><\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nALL rules have vanished, the regularity of the
\ndiscipline has disappeared, all effort has ceased; not by my own will, not, I think, by negligence either,
\nbut because the circumstances conspire to make it
\nso. It seems to me that this inner will, always alert,
\nwhich is like a steersman at the helm, has evaporated or fallen asleep, and my being is only something
\npeacefully surrendered which lets itself be carried
\nby the current. Up to the present, it seems to me that the course has been in a straight line, and I would
\nkeep the hope that it is Thou, O Lord, who guidest
\nthe current; but certainly if I have sinned sometimes by too great a rigidity, a lack of suppleness and <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 101<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nspontaneity, it might well be that now I sin by a
\ncontrary excess. I have come to accept peacefully the
\nstate in which I am and to say to myself that Thou wilt vouchsafe to me the
\ntrue, the absolute Consciousness when Thou thinkest fit. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nI regard all this mobile world as a play which
\nunrolls itself, and I take part in this play with the
\nsame energy and conviction as if I believed it to be
\nreal and important. All this is quite new. But what
\nis sure is that never were my mind and heart so
\ncompletely at rest. What will come of it I know not.
\nBut I trust to Thee, O Lord; Thou knowest best
\nhow to use and develop Thy instrument. <\/font><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\n
\nApril<\/i> 28, 1914<\/a> <\/font><\/b><\/p>\n

\n <\/p>\n

\nTHOU art the Master of the world; Thy law unrolls itself before us with precision, and as I
\nthought or rather Thou hadst made me understand
\nbefore our departure from Paris, it is the best, that
\nwhich could best serve Thy work in the world, that
\nhas happened. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nIn beatitude I have communed with Thy power
\nwhich dominates darkness and error and shines like
\na marvellous and eternal dawn over the mud of the
\nhypocritical force and its apparent success. All has
\nbeen brought to light, we have taken a step forward
\ntowards the full light of sincerity, and it is this full <\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 102<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\nlight which will be the first stage of Thy reign upon
\nthe earth. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nO Thou, inconceivable splendour. Thou, conqueror
\nof all ignorance, victor over all egoism. Thou who
\nilluminest our hearts and enlightenest our minds,
\nThou who art Knowledge, Love and Being, let me
\nlive constantly in the consciousness of Thy Unity,
\nlet me always conform <\/b> to Thy Will. <\/font><\/p>\n

\nWith a respectful and silent devotion I salute Thee
\nas the sovereign Lord of the world !<\/font><\/p>\n

\nPage – 103<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\n
\nHOME<\/span><\/a><\/font><\/b><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

April l, 1914   IT seems to me that we have entered into the heart of Thy sanctuary and become aware of Thy will itself….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[135],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-01-prayers-and-meditations-1948","wpcat-135-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5443"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5443\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}