(Mother is very short of breath, she seems to be in pain.)<\/i>
\n
My nervous system is being transferred to the Supramental. It feels like … you know, what people call "neurasthenia" [[Mother may have used this term in its original Greek root meaning: "strengthless nerves." Unless she meant "neuralgia" in its broader sense. ]] – they have no idea what it is; but the entire nervous system is…. It’s worse than dying. [[We recall Mother also saying, "When people come into my room with ill thoughts, all the nerves are tortured." ]] <\/p>\n
Yes, Mother.<\/i><\/p>\n
But I think … I think I can transmit the divine Vibration.<\/p>\n
Oh, yes, definitely!<\/i><\/p>\n
Will you tell me if you feel it?<\/p>\n
But, Mother, being with you is fantastic – it’s being … it’s a<\/i><\/p>\n
torrent
\n … it feels like a purifying fire, it’s…. It widens you, it<\/i><\/p>\n
fills you – that’s IT, in a word!<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
So, would you like to stay [to meditate]?<\/p>\n
You know, Mother, ever since you’ve become supposedly<\/i><\/p>\n
powerless,
\n I have started to feel the supreme Mother. When<\/i><\/p>\n
you had all your powers ….<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But I know it’s my body … this body…. Look, I have accepted – the Lord asked me if I wanted to undergo the transformation, <\/i>and I said yes (I would have said yes in any event), but it’s … to the ordinary human consciousness, I am going mad. [[See the Addendum.<\/i> ]] <\/p>\n
Yes, I understand, Mother. I understand…. Anyone else<\/i><\/p>\n
would
\n have left umpteen times, rather than sit through all this <\/i><\/p>\n
I really understand.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Page 399<\/font><\/p>\n What about you, are you all right?<\/p>\n Yes, yes, Mother!<\/i><\/p>\n What do you feel when we sit like this [in meditation], is it all right ?<\/p>\n Oh, Mother, I feel at the very Goal of my life!<\/i><\/p>\n Good. What’s the time, tell me?<\/p>\n It’s 10:25.<\/i><\/p>\n So up to … I don’t know, 11:00 or 11:10 … I’ll keep you with me.<\/p>\n Yes, Mother, keep me!<\/i><\/p>\n (Mother plunges in)<\/i> ADDENDUM<\/i> A Grain of Rice?<\/i> To the ordinary human consciousness, I am going mad." What happened on November 17, 1973? Or rather, what is happening?<\/i> I have pored over Mother’s every word for so many years, I have LIVED actually she left because tion has failed, or that – nothing was too say – as they all said or due to one thing or even grazed that Power: dead … without its making any There was one moment when Mother lost body, or rather, when THAT lost the contact with Mother’s body. Did she sible!" violent death and on Page 400<\/font><\/p>\n Therefore, there can be only two solutions to the mystery – I was about name? What Assuredly, Mother had that exceptional, neither in good nor actly represented the average humanity and consciousness, for which what she was doing was dreams and hallucinations. They all believed her old, "insane," and on the brink of death – but could the human pygmies get the better of that Consciousness? Of that Power? or disbelief?<\/i> Thus she was alone among them – she was soon to be truly alone, from versation. I after that May "There will be NO MORE gasted – not I. WHO could she I was positive that the experience would communication: Mother was going to sever the old physiology – they did not let her. There trance, the fairy tale, Sleeping Beauty – they did still hear the voice of the Brute: "No, I don’t want So? …<\/i> Did she decide to leave? No one will ever convince me that Mother "decided," or that she was old, or insane, or incapable.<\/i> <\/i> any case. But He also uses human instruments – otherwise this <\/i> world would have never existed – and these human instruments<\/i> have "God" being conspire to lead us to an unforeseeable goal.<\/i> Hence, humans decided They said no to the trance, no to the experience, had to stop.<\/i> A particular fact has haunted me for the past seven years, a par<\/i> ticular passage in Pranab’s speech which he delivered a few days<\/i> after Mother’s departure. (Once again, I am not accusing anyone: I<\/i> am chronicling History; I would like to report the facts, the words,<\/i> the characters as accurately as I can – I am Mother’s scribe, that is<\/i> all … and I love her, because it’s lovely to love.) Now, in that<\/i> speech, we find a small remark, the kind of remark one makes in<\/i> passing, as the most "natural" thing in the world. Pranab ing the "last days." You call them the "last days" when the story is over – in the meantime, it’s just (original English)<\/i><\/p>\n "At night [on November 14], She said, ‘Make me walk.’ We<\/p>\n were very hesitant, but as She insisted, we lifted her up from<\/p>\n the bed. She could not walk, staggered a little, almost collapsed.<\/p>\n Seeing this, we put Her back in bed. We saw that Her face had<\/p>\n become absolutely white and the lips blue. Then we decided <\/p>\n that whatever She said, we must not take Her out from the<\/p>\n bed again to walk. She took about 20 minutes to recover; She<\/p>\n started saying, ‘Lift me up again, I shall walk.’ We refused.<\/p>\n She asked why we were refusing. We said, ‘Mother, you are in<\/p>\n such a weak condition that it will do you harm.’ Then She<\/p>\n said, ‘No, lift me up.’ We did not. She began to plead, some<\/p>\n times shout. All this continued until fifteen minutes past one.<\/p>\n At that time we thought we would give Her some sedative, so<\/p>\n that She might rest quietly. Then we gave Her SIQUIL as the<\/p>\n doctor had prescribed. It took Her about 45 minutes to<\/p>\n become quiet and She slept from 2 to 4 o’clock, but after get<\/p>\n ting up She started saying, ‘Pranab, lift me up and make me<\/p>\n walk. My legs are getting paralysed; if you help me to walk<\/p>\n again, they will become all right.’ But we did not listen. She<\/p>\n went on entreating till about 6 o’clock when She fell asleep."<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Yes, she fought like a lioness – till the very end Is this the plea of someone This was on November 14, three days before the "end"<\/i><\/p>\n "On the 15th," Pranab reports, "at night again … She<\/p>\n wanted ‘Mother, you should not walk.’ She immediately obeyed us…. <\/p>\n From that day She became absolutely obedient."<\/p>\n<\/p>\n How long had they been giving her SIQUIL? And what is SIQUIL, in the first place? [[SIQUIL <\/i>is the Indian brand name for triflupromazine hydrochloride, which is manufactured in India by Sarabhai Chemicals, and by Squibb in the U.S. (under the brand name VESPIUN). a dangerous drug." was simply too Page 402<\/font><\/p>\n Seven years later – it took me seven years – one day in September 1980, as I was passing a small local pharmacy on my way back from Madras, I decided to get to the bottom of it. I went in, asked for SIQUIL, dumbfounded:<\/i><\/p>\n "Studies have revealed that over-sedation is not always<\/p>\n necessary to benefit such psychotic symptoms as agitation, de<\/p>\n lusions, hallucinations or delirium. SIQUIL greatly simplifies<\/p>\n home management of emotionally deranged patients, many of<\/p>\n whom might otherwise previously have been hospitalized.<\/p>\n These patients adopt a more realistic behavior, become less of<\/p>\n a burden to their families and are more easily approached for<\/p>\n training purposes and eventual rehabilitation…. SIQUIL is<\/p>\n especially indicated in the treatment of severe acute and <\/p>\n chronic mental disorders, such as schizophrenia, mania,<\/p>\n depression, delirium, senile psychoses and psychoses caused <\/p>\n by organic brain disease."<\/p>\n<\/p>\n So, that body … whose cellular consciousness had been prepared, refined, There is simply nothing to say.<\/i> They had had enough. They were unanimous.<\/i> I now recall a "dream" I had twelve years earlier, in which Mother kind of "rice" her body?<\/i> Yet, even if we find the physical cause of her departure, we will not cluding our I recall Sri Aurobindo: "the Eternal’s dreadful strategy." [[Savitri<\/i>, I.II.17. ]] <\/i> Indeed, Mother’s "end" is not the end. "Wait till the last act," she had But still…. <\/i> Page 403<\/font> <\/p>\n <\/b><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" April 14, 1973 (Mother is very short of breath, she seems to be in pain.) My nervous system is being transferred to the Supramental. 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\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\nthem all with a pounding heart – or a broken heart. What
\nhappened? And why? … I can never accept the idea that
\nthe attempt failed – we may as well say that evolu
\nshe quit the game, or that it was too difficult
\ndifficult for her, she fought like a lioness. To
\n– that "the body failed" because it was too old,
\nanother, demonstrates that they never felt or
\n"That" can revive a dead man and all the
\ndifference. So … what happened?
\nthe contact with her
\n
\nnot say (on March 10), "If I lost the contact – but that’s impos
\nAnother day in 1971 (on December 4), she had said, "Only a
\ncould stop the transformation, otherwise it will go on and on
\n……<\/i> <\/i>
\n
\n
\nto say "murder mystery," but can one call it by any other
\nother term could better elucidate the enigma?
\nhorrid entourage, but it was in no way
\nin bad: the people around her ex
\nthe ordinary physical
\njust questionable
\nsenile or even
\nbeliefs of
\nOf that Will? Could the attempt fail because of our belief
\n
\nMay 19 onward, exactly thirty-five days after the present con
\nstill hear Mother’s son artlessly asking me, a few days
\n19, "How will we communicate with Mother now?"
\ncommunication," I replied. He was flabber
\n"communicate" with? But as I said,
\ncontinue with or without
\nnutrient link to the
\nremained cataleptic
\nnot want it. I can
\nto.<\/i>
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\na freedom of choice, they are not mere puppets in the hands of<\/i>
\nOr rather, to be more precise, they have a choice between<\/i>
\nthe Divine’s puppet or the devil’s – and maybe BOTH ways <\/i>
\n
\n
\nno to the fairy tale; they could not stand it anymore – it
\n
\nPage 401<\/font><\/p>\n
\n
\nis describ<\/i>
\nAFTERWARDS,<\/i>
\nlife as usual:<\/i>[
\n
\n"who has decided to leave"?<\/i>
\n
\n us to help Her to walk, we refused to do that. We said,<\/p>\n
\n
\n]] A doctor friend of mine had explained to me: "It’s
\nBut I could not believe in that kind of thing, it
\nhorrible.<\/i> <\/i>
\n
\n
\npulled out the "directions" from the box and … read,
\n
\ntrained by decades of yoga….<\/i>
\n
\n
\n
\nseemed dead "because she had eaten a grain of rice." What
\nwas it, that minuscule particle capable of breaking
\n
\nhave found the true reality – for the Divine uses everything, in
\nhuman errors, to turn it into his unforeseeable Honey.<\/i>
\n
\n
\nsaid.<\/i>
\n
\n