\n
(Mother remains absorbed a long time. She often asked Satprem <\/i><\/p>\n
if he had any "questions," but truly speaking Satprem didn’t<\/i><\/p>\n
come to see Mother to "ask questions." Rather he wanted to<\/i><\/p>\n
efface himself all he could and let her experience flow out it she<\/i><\/p>\n
liked to give it expression, or remain silent if so she preferred <\/i>\n <\/p>\n
He did not want his mind to grind thoughts, with its thousand<\/i><\/p>\n
questions, lest it should cloud the atmosphere and bring pres<\/i><\/p>\n
sure upon Mother. Questions seemed pointless to him unless<\/i><\/p>\n
they arose on the spur of the moment, springing from within,<\/i><\/p>\n
because then they responded to something iN Mother. Indeed,<\/i><\/p>\n
Satprem wanted to be simply a sort of catalyst for what was<\/i><\/p>\n
happening in her. And then, too, seeing her gasping for breath<\/i><\/p>\n
very much affected him.)<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
So what do you have to say?<\/p>\n
Nothing much.<\/i><\/p>\n
(Holding Satprem’s hands)<\/i> What do You have to say?<\/p>\n
Really nothing much, Mother…. I wish all the last recesses of<\/i><\/p>\n
my
\n being would open up – that’s what I wish.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Why – tell me why do I keep seeing an image of you (it’s strangely persistent), as I saw you the last time at the Government House. [[In 1949, after the departure of Governor Baron. Mother has already mentioned that episode in the conversation of September 1, 1971, Agenda XII.<\/i> ]] I had gone to see the new governor, and you were sitting in the room … on the verandah…. There was a bench, a sort of long bench, and you were sitting there, and when I came out I saw you sitting there, silhouetted against the sky. It was either a balcony or a verandah, I don’t remember….
\n
It keeps returning again and again and again…. Why?
\n
Do you remember that?<\/p>\n
No, Mother [= I don’t want to remember].<\/i><\/p>\n
Why did it strike me so? … You weren’t alone, there were other
people with you, perhaps two or three, I don’t know. I don’t even It was actually my last visit to Government House. You were still there, but the governor had left – I mean Baron. Why? You don’t remember your own feeling?<\/p>\n No, Mother.<\/i><\/p>\n Why does it keep coming back to me like that? It was like a foreknowledge of the place you would occupy in my life. Everything else was blurred, indistinct – nonexistent – but you … I still see it as if it were yesterday. And you were sitting … sitting on that…. You were in a rather mocking mood. [[Not "mocking" at all – very angry. ]] <\/p>\n I was quite stupid.<\/i><\/p>\n What?<\/p>\n At the time I was pretty stupid – now I’m a little less….<\/i><\/p>\n (Mother laughs)<\/i><\/p>\n Thanks to you.<\/i><\/p>\n (silence)<\/i><\/p>\n Mocking, I don’t think so, Mother. I was never really the<\/i><\/p>\n mocking No, not mocking….<\/p>\n I was rather defiant, or suspicious!<\/i><\/p>\n Yes, yes! That’s it. Yes, that’s exactly it. As if you were saying to yourself, "What on earth is this!" (laughter)<\/i><\/p>\n Ah, Mother, what a grace to have met you!…<\/i><\/p>\n (Mother takes Satprem’s hands)<\/i> Page 196<\/font><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I KNOW.<\/i><\/p>\n (after a silence)<\/i> Oh, mon petit … both together, you know, it’s so incredible: a fabulous power – you feel you just do this (Mother closes her fist on a little bit of air), <\/i>and it’s done – and at the same time … you know nothing, understand nothing…. My memory is gone. There’s no more, no more … (Mother touches her head, indicating a <\/i>void). Some decisions go through the consciousness, but as soon as they are uttered or implemented, they’re gone. I remember nothing, nothing, nothing, except like this (Mother picks up a point in the air), <\/i>one thing in a thousand. But why? (silence)<\/i> Say, listen. A strange experience it is. All the daily occupations, the most ordinary things – getting up, going to bed, taking a bath, "trying" to eat (which is rather in vain) – are…. It sounds ridiculous, but they are accompanied by a feeling that they can be an occasion of death (there isn’t a single thing that isn’t an occasion of death, that is, to leave the body), yet at the same time – at the very same time – there’s a feeling of immortality. Almost … it’s almost indescribable…. Both opposites are there – not "opposite," but … (they are only opposite in our language). (silence she Ah! Ah! … You see…. Oh, listen, it sounds utterly absurd, but I’ll tell you. This consciousness here is as though conscious of the divine decisions; as though there isn’t a single trifle that can’t be an occasion to leave the body if the Divine decides that the body has to go, nor is there a single moment when one can’t have the feeling of immortality if the Divine decides that one should have the feeling of immortality. The SAME thing. Do you understand what I am saying? The SAME thing. For example, take that image I keep having of you sitting on that bench and staring at me like – yes, as if saying, "What on earth is this!" because I visited Government House (I used to come very often during Baron’s time, but I stopped coming after he left), so I came and you seemed to be saying, "What on earth is this?" as … Page 197<\/font><\/p>\n yes, as if you were thinking, "How quickly one forgets!" or something of the sort [[What a fabulous memory Mother has! … Twenty-three years before, she had passed in front of me a few seconds, and she even remembers what was never expressed. The whole scene has remained vivid: I was furious with Mother because I thought she was "betraying" Baron by paying a visit to his successor (who had used the worst intrigues to oust Baron). ]] – anyway you weren’t overly friendly! (laughter) <\/i>At least that was my impression…. But why does it keep recurring like that? … You see, that encounter … that occasion was the starting point – the starting point of a great action between us, together. A great action together. So why these trifling little ripples, just when destiny was being shaped? One could almost say they were there to prove how appearances are illusions.<\/p>\n Yes. Yes.<\/i><\/p>\n ALL appearances are illusions – there’s something … something which for me is becoming increasingly concrete and tremendously powerful: the Lord’s Will. This conscious will is not like ours, it’s something like this (Mother lowers her outstretched arms). <\/i>Inexpressible. It’s unlike anything we know. And it is a formidable will -formidable, you understand, in the sense that all appearances, all contradictions, all human wills are zero: THAT alone (same, powerful gesture of lowering both arms). <\/i>That’s it, THAT is what I feel going through me, as if I bathed in it. Exactly like that. There isn’t any … there’s nothing here (Mother touches her forehead), <\/i>it’s empty, empty, completely empty – hollow. Hollow. I don’t think. There isn’t any "I," or any …. It’s almost like an empty shell, yet with that formidable Force … (vast, powerful gesture, arms outstretched).<\/i> (long silence)<\/i> The supramental consciousness must be trying to take possession of it …. This (the body) <\/i>is just like a shell. A shell …. Will it be able to change? I don’t know. (silence)<\/i> A constant feeling of … (vast, powerful gesture, arms outstretched).<\/i> (silence)<\/i> Page 198<\/font><\/p>\n (Smiling) <\/i>It’s profoundly interesting. (silence)<\/i> As if a superhuman Power were trying to manifest through millenniums of impotence…. That’s it. This (the body) <\/i>is made of millenniums of impotence. And a superhuman Power is trying to … is exerting a pressure to manifest. That’s what it is. What will be the outcome? I don’t know. (silence)<\/i> And the famous day when I saw you there, sitting against the sky … it’s as though the place you were going to occupy in this creation were decided AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT. Truly … it’s truly, miraculously interesting. And the same goes for everything – everything, absolutely everything. There are MOMENTS when things are decided. (meditation Time does not exist anymore…. (Mother nods her head)<\/i> As if another time had entered this one. Page 199<\/font><\/p>\n <\/b><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" May 31, 1972 (Mother remains absorbed a long time. She often asked Satprem if he had any "questions," but truly speaking Satprem didn’t come to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[140],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5761","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-13-volume-13","wpcat-140-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5761","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5761"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5761\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5761"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5761"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/worksofthemotherandsriaurobindo.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5761"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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then Mother smiles as if<\/i>
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the clock strikes the hour)<\/i>
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