I found some old papers.
\n
(Satprem reads)<\/i>
\n
<\/p>\n
"I am told that you intend to distribute a repro<\/p>\n
duction of the
\n portrait you did of me. It would be<\/p>\n
better not to introduce in this gathering anything<\/p>\n
personal that might suggest the atmosphere of a<\/p>\n
nascent religion."<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It was for Auroville and it was a portrait by Y, did you see it? You saw that portrait?! (Mother laughs)<\/i>
\n
It was a polite way of telling her. Only, she didn’t listen to me, she distributed it.
\n
***
\n
(Then Mother listens to the English translation of an extract from <\/i>
\n
the "infernal Agenda" of September 9, which Satprem intended<\/i>
to publish in the forthcoming "Notes on the Way." Nolini<\/i>
reads out his translation.)<\/i>
\n
Page 353<\/font><\/p>\n It’s not interesting. It’s so personal…. (Mother shakes her head<\/i> and plunges (Mother, in English:)<\/i> It seems to me too personal to be published. (Mother plunges in again)<\/i> I don’t know…. Its gone, it’s over. I would like the two of you [Nolini and Satprem] to be absolutely sincere: is there nothing in you that thought, "No, it can’t be published"? <\/p>\n (Satprem:) I didn’t have that impression. I had the impression<\/i><\/p>\n it could be useful. But I think Nolini he wasn’t here when you spoke.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n (Mother to Nolini, in English:)<\/i> Tell what you feel absolutely sincerely. <\/p>\n (Nolini:) I have found that it was a little too personal.<\/i><\/p>\n (Mother approves:)<\/i> Too personal. <\/p>\n (Nolini:) Not the whole but part of it. I feel like that.<\/i><\/p>\n (silence)<\/i> I am afraid it might be an occasion for … it might encourage in people morbid experiences. <\/p>\n (Satprem:) Yes, Mother, that’s true.<\/i><\/p>\n That’s what bothers me. It’s better not to. It means encouraging morbid things in people. <\/p>\n Yes, I saw some like that.<\/i><\/p>\n *** Page 354<\/font><\/p>\n (Then Satprem prepares to read a new chapter of <\/i> Supermanhood: "The Bifurcation.")<\/i> We should get the introduction translated into Hindi. I’ll see with R. Do you know that C. S. [a German translator] is here? Have you seen him? <\/p>\n No, Mother.<\/i><\/p>\n Not yet? <\/p>\n No, he is not on very good terms with me.<\/i><\/p>\n Oh? Why? <\/p>\n Listen, Mother, for about two years I have worked a lot for him.<\/i><\/p>\n And every time … I received dozens of letters in which a sort<\/i><\/p>\n of microscopic mental possession increasingly revealed itself, <\/i>\n <\/p>\n something very petty, very ugly, always clinging to … I can’t say,<\/i><\/p>\n it’s like a mental dwarf in him, full of venom, full of bitterness. <\/i>\n <\/p>\n There s a point there that isn’t pretty. So whenever I tried to send<\/i><\/p>\n him a little … (what shall I say?) balm to help him, every time <\/i>\n <\/p>\n he sent me back a letter full of venom. After a year or two, I<\/i><\/p>\n realised I was only encouraging this sort of reaction. So one day<\/i><\/p>\n I wrote to him and said, "Now it’s in Mothers hands, I can’t do<\/i><\/p>\n anything more for you."<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n What is it about? <\/p>\n About nothing! He tells me that my book, "The Adventure of<\/i><\/p>\n Consciousness," Does he say that? <\/p>\n Yes! He says his whole life has showed him that my book is a<\/i><\/p>\n falsehood, because he has realized nothing of what I wrote, and<\/i><\/p>\n it’s all false, a falsehood. So in every letter he would return to,<\/i><\/p>\n "Yes, you say that in Pondicherry, where you are in the light peace, but as for us over here … Your book is a falsehood!"<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n Then whatever is he coming here for?! Page 355<\/font><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I don’t know … but he suffers, you understand! He’s unhappy,<\/i><\/p>\n poor on the other by his little gnome. I didn’t cut off my relations<\/i><\/p>\n with him for personal reasons – I don’t take offense at all – but<\/i><\/p>\n because I saw it didn’t help him, that’s all. Otherwise I have<\/i><\/p>\n nothing against him – he suffers, poor man.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n As for me, I have never spoken to him. <\/p>\n There’s a mental deformation. A sort of sourness, you know, a<\/i><\/p>\n bitterness, I haven’t found anyone yet to translate into German…. <\/p>\n In Auroville?<\/i><\/p>\n (silence)<\/i> <\/p>\n Or you could ask A., Mother, he knows all the Germans who<\/i><\/p>\n come A. isn’t much of a psychologist. It’s better to wait and be sure. Ah, I am listening. <\/p>\n Do I still read you? Aren’t you tired?<\/i><\/p>\n No, no…. I’ve noticed this: I no longer know what it is to be tired – even physically. There has been a tremendous change, but it’s not yet … I can’t say anything about it. (Satprem reads)<\/i> Page 356<\/font><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" October 21, 1970 I found some old papers. 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\nin)<\/i>
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\n will be more objective since<\/i><\/p>\n
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\n is a huge falsehood…<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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\n and<\/i><\/p>\n
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\n man. On the one hand he is pulled by the good side, and<\/i><\/p>\n
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\n a venom.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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\n here.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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