SCENE II
A garden at the town-house of Count Beltran.
BASIL I am abashed of¹ you. What, make a lady Woo you, and she a face so excellent, Of an address so admirably lovely It shows a goddess in her — at each sentence Let pause to give you opportunity Then shame with the dead silence of the hall For her continual answer. Fie, you're not Antonio, you are not Beltran's issue. Seek Your kindred in the snowdrifts of the Alps Or call a post your father.
ANTONIO
I deserve ¹for Page – 843
BASIL Away! You modest lovers are the blot Of manhood, traitors to our sovereignty. I'd have you banished, all of you, and kept In desert islands, where no petticoat Should enter, so the brood of you might perish.
ANTONIO You speak against the very sense of love Which lives by service.
BASIL
Flat treason! Was not man made
ANTONIO
O you speak at ease,
BASIL
I? I recant?
ANTONIO Come, will you woo a woman? Teach me at least Page – 844 By diagram, upon a blackboard.
BASIL
Well,
ANTONIO On, on! Let's hear you.
BASIL First, I would kiss her.
ANTONIO What, without leave asked ?
BASIL
Leave? Ask a woman leave to kiss her! Why
ANTONIO If she is angry?
BASIL
So much the better. Then you by repetition Page – 845
The Church's help, that's a mere form and makes
ANTONIO
There should be
BASIL
Nothing unless you wish to assure the conquest,
That you have robbed her merely for her good, Punish each word that shows want of affection. Plague her to death and make her thank you for it. Accustom her to sing hosannas to you When you beat her. All this is ordinary, And every wise benevolent conqueror Has learnt the trick of it. Then she'll love you for ever.
ANTONIO
You are a Pagan and would burn for this
BASIL Am safe from him.
ANTONIO
And therefore boast securely Page – 846 Guide his strategic finger o'er a map, Cry "Eugene's fault! here Marlboro' was to blame, And look, a child might see it, Villars' plain error That lost him Malplaquet!" I think you are Just such a pen-and-paper strategist. A wooer!
BASIL
Death, I will have pity on you,
ANTONIO
Good, I'm your pupil. But hear,
BASIL
Agreed. And yet they say experimentum
ANTONIO
Look where the enemy comes. You are well off
BASIL
A rare face, by Heaven.
ANTONIO You sound retreat?
BASIL
Not I an inch. Page – 847
ANTONIO Hush, she's here. Enter Brigida.
BRIGIDA Senor, I was bidden to deliver this letter to you.
BASIL To me, sweetheart?
BRIGIDA I have the inventory of you in my books, if you be he truly. I will study it. Hair of the ordinary poetic length, dress indefinable, a modest address, — I think not you, Senor, — a noble manner, — Pooh, no! — a handsome face. I am sure not to you, Senor.
BASIL Humph.
ANTONIO Well, cousin. All silent? Open your batteries, open your batteries !
BASIL Wait, wait. Ought a conqueror to be hurried? Caesar himself must study his ground before he attempts it. You will hear my trumpets instanter.
BRIGIDA Will you take your letter. Sir?
ANTONIO
To me then, maiden ? A dainty-looking note, and I marvel much
from whom it can be. I do not know the handwriting. A lady's, Page – 848
BRIGIDA Why, Sir, I am not her signature; which if you will look within, there I doubt not you will find a solution of your difficulty.
BASIL Here's a clever"1 woman, Antonio, to think of that, and she but eighteen or a miracle.
ANTONIO Well, cousin.
BRIGIDA This Don Witty-pate eyes me strangely. I fear he will recognize me.
ANTONIO Ismenia Ostrocadiz! O my joy.
BRIGIDA You're ill, sir, you change colour.
ANTONIO
Now, by Heaven
BRIGIDA
Sir, you pale
ANTONIO O might I so be poisoned hourly. Let me No longer dally with my happiness, Let it take wings or turn a dream. Hail, letter, Page – 849 For thou hast come from that white hand I worship.
"To Lord Antonio: Señor, how you may deem of my bold wooing, How cruelly I suffer in your thoughts, I dread to think. Take the plain truth, Antonio. I cannot live without your love. If you From this misdoubt my nobleness or infer A wanton haste or instability, — As men pretend quick love is quickly spent— Tear up this letter, and with it my heart. And yet I hope you will not tear it. I love you And since I saw our family variance And your too noble tearfulness withhold me From my heart's lord I have thrown from me shame And the admired dalliance of women To bridge it. Come to me, Antonio! Come, But come in honour. I am not nor can be So far degenerate from my house's greatness Or my pure self to love ignobly. Dear, I have thrown from me modesty's coy pretences But the reality I'll grapple to me Close as your image. I am loth to end, Yet must, and therefore will I end with this 'Beloved, love me, respect me or forget me'."
Writing more sweet than any yet that came From heaven to earth, O thou dear revelation. Make my lips holy. Ah, could I imagine Thee the white hand that wrote thee, I were blest Utterly. Thou hast made me twice myself. I think I am another than Antonio. The sky seems nearer to me or the earth Environed with a sacred light. O come! I'll study to imprint this on my heart, That when death comes he'll find it there and leave it, A monument and an immortal writing. Page – 850
BASIL Damsel, you are of the Lady Ismenia's household?
BRIGIDA A poor relative of hers, Señor.
BASIL Your face seems strangely familiar to me. Have I not seen you in some place where I constantly resort ?
BRIGIDA O Sir, I hope you do not think so meanly of me. I am a poor girl but an honest.
BASIL How, how?
BRIGIDA I know not how. I spoke only as the spirit moved me.
BASIL You have a marvellously nimble tongue. Two words with you.
BRIGIDA Willingly, Senor, if you exceed not measure.
BASIL Fair one—
BRIGIDA Oh, Sir, I am glad I listened. I like your two words extremely. God be with you.
BASIL Why, I have not begun yet.
BRIGIDA The more shame to your arithmetic. If your teacher had reckoned Page – 851 as loosely with his cane-cuts, he would have made the carefuller scholar.
BASIL God's wounds, will you listen to me?
BRIGIDA Well, Sir, I will not insist upon numbers. But pray, for your own sake, swear no more. No eloquence will long stand such draft upon it.
BASIL If you would listen, I would tell you a piece of news that might please you.
BRIGIDA Let it be good news, new news and repeatable news and I will thank you for it.
BASIL Sure, maiden, you are wondrous beautiful.
BRIGIDA Senor, Queen Anne is dead. Tell me the next.
BASIL The next is, I will kiss you.
BRIGIDA Oh, Sir, that's a prophecy. Well, death and kissing come to all of us, and by what disease the one or by whom the other, wise men care not to forecast. It profits little to study calamities beforehand. When it comes, I pray God I may learn to take it with resignation, if I cannot do better.
BASIL By my life, I will kiss you and without farther respite. Page – 852
BRIGIDA On what ground?
BASIL Have I not told you, you are beautiful.
BRIGIDA So has my mirror, not once but a hundred times, and never yet offered to kiss me. When it does, I'll allow your logic. No, we are already near enough to each other. Pray, keep your distance.
BASIL I will establish my argument with my lips.
BRIGIDA I will defend mine with my hand. I promise you 'twill prove the abler dialectician of the two.
BASIL Well.
BRIGIDA I am glad you think so, Senor. My lord, I cannot stay. What shall I tell my lady?
ANTONIO Tell her my heart is at her feet, and I Am hers, hers only until heaven ceases And after. Tell her that I am more blest In her sweet condescension to my humbleness Than Ilian Anchises when Love's mother Stooped from her golden heavens into his lap. Tell her that as a goddess I revere her And as a saint adore; that she and life Are one to me, for I've no heart but her, No atmosphere beyond her pleasure, light But what her eyes allow me. Tell, O tell her— Page – 853
BRIGIDA Hold, hold, Senor. You may tell her all this yourself. I would not remember the half of it and could not understand the other half. Shall I tell her, you will come surely?
ANTONIO
As sure as is the sun to its fixed hour
BRIGIDA Good! there are at last three words a poor girl can understand. Mark then, you will wait a while after nightfall, less than half a bowshot from the place you know towards the Square Velasquez, within sight of the Donna's windows. Then I will come to you. Sir, if your sword be half as ready and irresistible as your tongue, I would gladly have you there with him, though Saint Iago grant that neither prove necessary. You look sad. Sir. God save you for a witty and eloquent gentleman. Exit.
ANTONIO
O cousin, I am bewitched with happiness. Exit.
BASIL God grant that I am not bewitched also! Saints and angels! How is it? How did it happen? Is the sun still in heaven? Is that the song of a bird or a barrel-organ ? I am not drunk either. I can still distinguish between a tree and the squirrel upon it. What, am I not Basil? whom men call the witty and eloquent Basil ? Did I not laugh from the womb ? Was not my first cry a jest upon the world I came into ? Did I not invent a conceit upon my mother's milk ere I had sucked of it? Death! And have I age – 854 been bashed and beaten by the tongue of a girl ? silenced by a common purveyor of impertinences ? It is so and yet it cannot be. I begin to believe in the dogmas of the materialist. The gastric juice rises in my estimation. Genius is after all only a form of indigestion, a line of Shakespeare the apotheosis of a leg of mutton and the speculations of Plato an escape of diseased tissue arrested in the permanency of ink. What did I break my fast with this morning? Kippered herring? Bread? Marmalade? Tea ? O kippered herring, art thou the material form of stupidity and is marmalade an enemy of wit ? It must be so. O mighty gastric juice! Mother and Saviour! I bow down before thee. Be propitious, fair goddess, to thy adorer. Arise, Basil. Today thou shalt retrieve thy tarnished laurels or be expunged for ever from the book of the witty. Arm thy- self in full panoply of allusion and irony, gird on raillery like a sword and repartee like a buckler. I will meet this girl tonight. I will tund her with conceits, torture her with ironies, tickle her with jests, prick her all over with epigrams. My wit shall smother her, tear her, burst her sides, press her to death, hang her, draw her, quarter her, and if all this fails. Death! as a last revenge, I'll marry¹ her. Saints!
¹beat Page – 855 |