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CONDUCT
What a Child Should Always Remember
The necessity of an absolute sincerity. The certitude of Truth's final victory. The possibility of constant progress with the will to achieve.
An Ideal Child
is good-tempered
He does not become angry when things seem to go against him or decisions are not in his favour.
is game
Whatever he does he does it to the best of his capacity and keeps on doing in the face of almost certain failure. He always thinks straight and acts straight.
is truthful
He never fears to say the truth whatever may be the consequences.
is patient
He does not get disheartened if he has to wait a long time to see the results of his efforts.
is enduring
He faces the inevitable difficulties and sufferings without grumbling. Page – 150 is persevering He never slackens his effort however long it has to last.
is poised He keeps equanimity in success as well as in failure.
is courageous
He always goes on fighting for the final victory though he may meet with many defeats.
is cheerful
He knows how to smile and keep a happy heart in all circumstances.
is modest
He does not become conceited over his success, neither does he feel himself superior to his comrades.
is generous
He appreciates the merits of others and is always ready to help another to succeed.
is fair and obedient
He observes the discipline and is always honest. Bulletin, August 1950
The ideal child is intelligent. He understands everything he is told, he knows his lesson before he has learnt it and answers every question he is asked. Page – 151 He has faith in the future which is rich with all the realisations that are to come, full of beauty and light. Childhood is the symbol of the future and the Hope of all the victories to come.
The Ideal Child
…he likes to study when he is at school, …he likes to play when he is in the playground, …he likes to eat at meal-time, …he likes to sleep at bed-time, …and always he is full of love for all those around him, …full of confidence in the divine Grace, …full of deep respect for the Divine.
The things to be taught to a child
1) The necessity of absolute sincerity. 2) The certitude of the final victory of Truth. 3) The possibility and the will to progress. Good temper, fair-play, truthfulness. Patience, endurance, perseverance. Equanimity, courage, cheerfulness.
What should be the main concern in education for children aged eleven to thirteen?
The most important thing to teach them is the absolute necessity of being sincere. Page – 152 All untruth, however slight, should be refused. They should also be taught to progress constantly, for as soon as one stops making any progress, one falls back and that is the beginning of decay.
According to what I see and know, as a general rule, children over 14 should be allowed their independence and should be given advice only if and when they ask for it. They should know that they are responsible for managing their own existence.
I am very pleased to hear the ideas and sentiments you have expressed just now and I give you my blessings. Only I wish that your ideas did not remain as mere ideals, but became realities. That should be your vow, to materialise the ideal in your life and character. I take this occasion, however, to tell you something that I have wanted to tell you for a long time. It is with regard to your studies. Naturally there are exceptions, but it is the exceptions that give force to the rule. For instance, you asked for leave today. I did not think you required more relaxation. Your life here is organised on a routine of almost constant relaxation. However, I agreed to your request. But the way in which you received the “good news” pained me. Some of you even seemed to consider it a victory. But I ask, victory of what, against what? The victory of inconscience against the joy of learning and knowing more and more? The victory of unruliness against order and rule? The victory of the ignorant and superficial will over the endeavour towards progress and self-conquest? This is, you must know, the very ordinary movement of those who live in the ordinary condition of life and education. But as Page – 153 for you, if you wish to realise the great ideal that is our goal, you must not remain content with the ordinary and futile reactions of ordinary people who live in the blind and ignorant conditions of ordinary life. It looks as if I were very conservative when I say so, still I must tell you that you should be very careful about outside influences and ordinary habits. You must not allow them to shape your feelings and ways of life. Whatever comes from an outside and foreign atmosphere should not be permitted to jump into you — all that is mediocre and ignorant. If you wish to belong to the family of the new man, do not imitate pitifully the children of today and yesterday. Be firm and strong and full of faith; fight in order to win, as you say, the great victory. I have trust in you and I count upon you.
Until now I have not published what I told you on the anniversary day of the University. I hoped you would profit by the lesson and mend your ways, but to my great regret I am compelled to note that the situation has not improved: it seems some students have chosen the time when they are in the class to bring out the worst they have in them, they behave like street urchins; they not only take no advantage of the teacher given to them, but seem to take a mischievous pleasure in preventing others from benefiting by the lessons. We want to show to the world what must be the new man of tomorrow. Is this the example that we will set before them? Published in April 1953 (An extract from the minutes of teachers' meeting:) The meeting felt concern over lack of discipline, good manners and right behaviour among some students.
I insist on the necessity of having good manners. I do not see anything grand in the manners of a gutter-snipe. 4 March 1960 Page – 154 True strength and protection come from the Divine Presence in the heart. If you want to keep this Presence constantly in you, avoid carefully all vulgarity in speech, behaviour and acts. Do not mistake liberty for license and freedom for bad manners: the thoughts must be pure and the aspiration ardent. 26 February 1965
Isn't this immense freedom we are given dangerous for those who are not yet awake, who are still unconscious? How can we account for this good fortune we have been given?
Danger and risk form part of all forward movement. Without them, nothing would ever move; besides, they are indispensable in forming the character of those who want to progress. 13 April 1966 Two things need to be done. Children must be taught: a) not to tell a lie, whatever the consequences; b) to control violence, rage, anger. If these two things can be done, they can be led towards superhumanity. There is an idea that if one breaks conventions, restrictions, one is free from the limitations of ordinary humanity. But this is wrong. Those two things must be achieved to be able to be what may be called “superman”: not to tell lies and to control oneself. Page – 155 A complete devotion to the Divine is the last condition, but these are the first two things to be achieved. 18 July 1971 Discipline is indispensable to be a man. Without discipline one is nothing but an animal. I give you two weeks to show that you really want to change and become disciplined. If you become disciplined and obedient I am willing to give you another chance. But do not try to be deceitful… At the least sign of insincerity, I shall have to send you away. One begins to be a man only when one aspires to a higher and truer life and accepts a discipline of transformation. For this one must begin by mastering one's lower nature and one's desires. 8 March 1972 To the students
To be noisy in class is an act of selfish stupidity. If you don't intend to attend the class silently and attentively, it is better not to come.
It is forbidden to fight at school, to fight in class, to fight in the playground, to fight in the street, to fight at home (whether at your parents' house or in a boarding). Always and everywhere children are forbidden to fight among themselves, for each time that one gives a blow to another, one gives it to one's own soul.
15 January 1963 Page – 156 I suggest the same remedy as the one I was using in my childhood when disagreeing with my young playmates. I was at that time, as you are, very sensitive and I felt hurt when abused by them, especially by those whom I had shown only sympathy and kindness. I used to tell myself: “Why be sorry and feel miserable? If they are right in what they say, I have only to be glad for the lesson and correct myself; if they are wrong, why should I worry about it – it is for them to be sorry for their mistake. In both cases the best and the most dignified thing I can do is to remain strong, quiet and unmoved.” This lesson which I was giving myself and trying to follow when I was eight years old, still holds good in all similar cases. 17 April 1932 Some words to the children. 1. Never make fun of anyone if you do not want others to make fun of you. 2. Always act in a respectable way if you want others to respect you. 3. Love everybody if you want everybody to love you.
As girls and boys are educated together here we have always insisted on the relations between them to be those of simple comradeship without any mixture of sex feeling and sensuality; and to avoid all temptation they are forbidden to go in one another's room and to meet anywhere privately. This has been made clear to everybody. And if these rules are strictly followed, nothing unpleasant can happen. 16 August 1960 Page 157 Astrologers say that those who are born in November will be mad about sex.
Why do you believe in what the astrologers say? It is the belief that brings the trouble. Sri Aurobindo says that a man becomes what he thinks he is. Try this method of thinking that you are a good boy and will become sex-free. Try this method for five years persistently and obstinately without admitting any doubt or discouragement, and after five years you will tell me the result. Be very careful never to have a doubt about the result. 1965 You are attaching too much importance to this sex affair. Do not think of it at all – be interested in more interesting activities, try to grow in knowledge and consciousness and kick away the sex thought and the sex impulse when it comes – then you can hope of becoming one of my soldiers. 1965 I have already asked of you all not to think that you are girls or boys, but human beings equally endeavouring to find, become and manifest the Divine.
16 February 1966 A complete lack of knowledge about sex can produce serious trouble. I want to give some information to children whom I know.
A simple notion of medical knowledge may be useful in taking away this silly old harmful feeling of shame which brings perversion. Page – 158 Students say we are looking forward towards a sexless society, so why should we bother about genders in the language?
This is just a joke… or a twist of the mind and a clever way of refusing to understand what is meant by the advice.
Some good students give so much importance to money that it gives a shock. Can we discuss the matter?
Yes, try – It is very much needed. Money seems to have become the Supreme Lord these days – truth is receding in the background, as for Love, it is quite out of sight! I mean Divine Love because what human beings call love is a very good friend of money.
When a child wants to impress you by telling you stories of the wealth of his family, you must not keep quiet. You must explain to him that worldly wealth does not count here, only the wealth that has been offered to the Divine has some value; that you do not become big by living in big houses, travelling by first-class and spending money lavishly. You can increase in stature only by being truthful, sincere, obedient and grateful.
I have said, and I insist on this decision, that children below 15 should not go to bed later than 9 o'clock – those who do are being disobedient and this is regrettable. Page – 159 Mother, why are the hours before midnight better for sleep than the later hours?
Because, symbolically, during the hours till midnight, the sun is setting, while from the very first hour after midnight the sun begins to rise. Blessings. 22 August 1969 Mother, how is it better to go to bed early and to get up early?
When the sun sets, a kind of peace descends upon the earth and this peace is helpful for sleep. When the sun rises, a vigorous energy descends upon the earth and this energy is helpful for work. When you go to bed late and get up late, you contradict the forces of Nature and that is not very wise. Blessings. 21 December 1969 Mother, what should be our attitude towards the captains and teachers here?
An obedient, docile and affectionate attitude. They are your elder brothers and sisters who take a lot of trouble for the sake of helping you. Blessings. 1 February 1970 Page – 160 |