SERIES THREE
*
To a disciple who is identified in the
text simply by his initial, R. Raised in Gurukul Kangri in Uttar Pradesh, the disciple
joined the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in July 1938, at the age of twenty-one, and has
remained ever since. He sought to serve the Mother especially through his work,
and this concern is reflected in his letters, most of which deal directly with
problems of work. During his fifty years in the Ashram, the disciple has served
in many positions. The main ones, mentioned here because they are referred to
in the correspondence, are: the preparation of fruit juices for Sri Aurobindo
and the Mother; the allotment of work to new Ashramites; the distribution of
fuel and foodstuffs to Ashramites; the management (in conjunction with others
in some cases) of the Fruit Room, Dining Room, Bakery and Laundry; editor of
Purodha and Agnishikha, two monthly
journals in Hindi; Hindi teacher at the Ashram’s Centre of Education; and the
Hindi translator of many works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.
Mother mine,
Sometimes I am translating stories written by various people both
in the Ashram and out of the Ashram. If I want to send them to press, may I do
so? In these days it would be inconvenient for Thee to give approval on each
one. Does this literary work help me in my sadhana or is it a hindrance?
You can do this translation work
occasionally but not to the extent of getting absorbed in it.
*This series
is entirely in English, with the exception of one reply in French.
Page
— 201
The
consciousness must remain free for the sadhana.
Love
and blessings.
29 December 1938
In answer to your letter I can tell you that
if the value of the property is given to me I will certainly accept it. But I
cannot ask for it, I can only take it as a free gift.
My
love and blessings are with you.
20 January 1939
Mother mine,
Some temptations are coming to me in the name of service to the
motherland and mother-tongue. Fame, Gandhiji’s personality and great
philanthropic work are held out as baits. Kindly protect me. A friend is
pressing me to join Kalelkar in his work. Kindly see that this and other such
temptations do not snatch me away from Thy arms.
I have written a story. May I send it to the press?
You can send it provided there is nothing
objectionable in it — that is to say, no political or social controversy, etc.
Love
and blessings to my dear child.
25 March 1939
Mother,
Can I get a brief life sketch of Thine for publication in the
special Sri Aurobindo number that I am editing? if so, whom should I approach
with the request?
Page
— 202
I do not want any life sketch of mine to
be published. I have always refused the permission to all those who have asked
it.
My
love and blessings.
3 April 1939
Mother Dear,
The special Sri Aurobindo number is ready. The matter is prepared,
but at the eleventh hour I am very un willing to publish the portions translated
by me and so I want to postpone it — if not cancel it.
I am feeling rather
depressed. I am thinking that my translations are not satisfactory.
I don’t know what to
do. I think it is Your Will that the number should not come out at present and
hence the dissatisfaction in me. Because up to last week I was fully satisfied
with my work. When it is against Your Will, how can I do it?
You must have worked too hard at the
translation and that is why you are now dissatisfied and depressed. But I am
sure the translation is all right and I see no reason to postpone its
publication.
With
my love and blessings.
24 May 1939
I have received Abhaya’s letter. You can
write to him: “It is absolutely out of the question for anyone connected with
the Ashram to intervene in politics of any kind. He must not go to Sir Akbar
Hydari (it would be quite useless in any case). If he went and Sir Akbar spoke
to us of it we will be obliged to disavow his action as not sanctioned by us.”
You can send him our blessings.
3 June 1939
Page
— 203
My dear child,
I am always present, close to you —in you
—and my blessings are with you.
19 June 1939
Mother,
X came today for the
books. I have told him on Your authority that it is impossible. He is not going.
He says the must remain near You and that really You have no objection in his
staying.
This is quite wrong, both Sri Aurobindo
and myself want him to go because we are convinced that the atmosphere of
Pondicherry is not favourable to the balance of his mind and the climate is not
good for his health.
21 June 1939
Abhaya writes to me that he wishes to take
you away with him to Gurukula.
I have not yet answered to him.
I
wanted first to ask from you how do you feel about it.
Of
course if you ask me, I shall tell
you that I do not see why you should go. But you must tell me frankly your own
feeling.
Love
and blessings to my dear child.
25 September 1939
The disciple informed the Mother that he did not wish to leave the
Ashram, but would go if she wanted to send him away.¹
¹This note
is based upon the disciple’s recollection of his original letter, which has
been lost. Such notes have been provided subsequently in a number of cases
where all or part of the letter is missing.
Page
— 204
I am quite pleased with your answer
although it is not a surprise to me. I knew what was in your heart, but I
wanted to have it in writing from you to be able to say categorically no} to
Abhaya.
You
can be quite sure that I will not send you away from here.
Love
and blessings to my dear child.
25 September 1939
Mother,
I want to ask You
whether thinking of Your work is not a part of thinking of You. Is it going
towards break the right attitude if, even though I may not remember You always,
yet I may be remembering Your work and thinking of it.
Yes, it is quite good.
27 November 1939
Mother,
I do not use any bedding or mosquito curtain or even a pillow. I
sleep on the cot without spreading anything or on the ground with a mat. I have
been told that You do not like this. Is it so? Of course formerly I used to do
this for the sake of asceticism, but now that is not the reason. I am
habituated to it and I don’t see any reason why You should spend more money
unnecessarily. I hope You don’t have any objection.
I have absolutely no objection to it and
wonder who could have told you that I had any!
Page
— 205
A cousin of mine —Professor Y of Hyderabad — wants me to treat him with Ayurvedic medicine. It is not necessary
to see the patient — I can get the medicine prepared in Gurukul and send it to
him. I will get about Rs. 80/- from it (excluding the price of the medicine)
which will naturally go to You. If you allow me to treat him and charge, then
the money goes to Your feet; otherwise somebody else will get it.
You can have the medicine prepared there
if you like but we cannot take money as payment. All money that comes here must
be an offering.
My
love and blessings.
15 December 1939
In 1940 the disciple took charge of the “cart service” —
delivering Dining Room food to Ashramites who ate at home. When he heard that
someone had complained to the Mother about his work, he wrote to her, asking if
it was true.
Nobody has complained to me of your cart
service and you can be sure that if I had something to tell you regarding your
work I would write it to you directly.
But
you must not get worried about the mistakes and weaknesses of others; the only
thing necessary is not to believe
what people say to you, especially if they speak in my name.
My
love and blessings.
20 July 1940
Mother,
You know what has happened to me. Please tell me what to do when I
am caught in this internal and external friction.
Page
— 206
I wish I could have goodwill towards those who
are responsible for my external troubles, but I can’t help it. Kindly give me
some general directions which may be helpful in my present condition. I have
become so sensitive that the least thing makes me upset.
These are vital perturbations which show
themselves in the course of the sadhana and have to be eliminated. They must
not be regarded as natural movements justified by the wrong action of others
and bound to continue so long as there is the external causes. The real cause
is internal and it can only be got rid of by yogic discipline, vigilance,
self-detachment from the vital movement and a quiet but strict rejection.
My
love and blessings.
26 July 1940
Even if you are not apparently successful
in your meditation, it is better to persist and to be more obstinate than the
opposition of your lower nature.
I
am quite satisfied with your way of doing the work and it is sure to help you
to come nearer to me.
My
love and blessings.
13 September 1940
The disciple mentioned that the sadhaks in a certain department
talked a lot during their work.
For the sake of sadhana and for the sake
of work, it is always better to work
silently.
Early 1940s¹
¹This
approximate date has been provided by the disciple from memory; the original
letter is undated. Such tentative dates have been given subsequently in a
number of cases.
Page
— 207
(The disciple informed the Mother that he had measles and asked her
blessings to cure him. He also noted that he had come to the Ashram in order to
work, not to do sadhana. )
My blessings are with you.
You
must take this illness as a sign that, in spite of all your convictions —
perhaps even resolutions — you have to do sadhana and to add to your outer
consecration in work, the inner consecration of deep understanding and
psychological transformation, and make use of your seclusion for that purpose.
My
help and love are with you.
6 April 1952
Mother,
I am trying my best to improve the quality of my work. I don’t
know whether I am successful. I still feel tired and run-down. After the
illness my enthusiasm has not come back. My will to be more and more useful has
become damp.
Mother, either make me
useful or send me off. I do not want to lead a useless life. I may have a
better luck next time. I am tired — tired of everything. Let me go if you find
it impossible to change me. Let me have a very long and deep sleep.
Don’t withdraw yourself,
Mother. Once you have accepted me, if I have been of any use, even for a
moment, don’t let me down.
There is no question and no possibility of
“letting you down”. My attitude towards you has not changed. But your illness
and your present condition have the same cause. I am trying to move quickly
towards the future Realisation; the progress is rapid and to remain close to me
one must move quickly also.
Page
— 208
Something in you was refusing to change,
the same something that was boasting that it was not interested in yoga, that
it believed only in work, etc. etc. As a result of it you got out of my
protection and fell ill. My word written at the beginning of the illness meant
that. But it did not act as I hoped.
Now
there is only one thing to do: face squarely the necessity of the change in
some part of your nature and — with my help — change.
With
my love and blessings.
10 June 1952
(The disciple sent to the Mother the letter of a worker who
complained that he lacked the strength to do his work and could not feel her
Grace. The Mother replied:)
Here, for each work given, the full
strength and Grace are always given at the same time to do the work as it has
to be done. If you do not feel the strength and the Grace it proves that there
is some mistake in your attitude. The faith is lacking or you have fallen back
on old tracks and old creeds and thus you lose all receptivity.
1 October 1952
Mother,
I would like to stop being present in the Playground. If I sit, I
am afraid that people will begin to collect there for their business as they
used to do, and that would disturb the silence of the place.
And if I need you? The best would be to
make a rule of not speaking or listening during all the distribution and to listen and answer as
soon as it is over.
9 September 1954
Page
— 209
(Not wishing to take up the Mother’s time, the disciple
deliberately avoided seeing her. About this she wrote:)
One more word to tell you that you must not
avoid seeing me, because it gives a kind of support to the parts of your being
which are somewhat unwilling to open to my influence.
With my love and
blessings.
Try to be spontaneous and simple like a
child in your relations with me — it will save you from many difficulties.
25 October 1954
Mother,
You have said: “We would be completely under Thy influence, to the
exclusion of every other.” ¹I have translated it in Hindi as “We want to be
dyed in Your colour, to the exclusion of other colours.” This is
idiomatic, but is it correct?
¹Prayer of
23 October 1937
Page
— 210
This is not the true meaning; each force
or power has an influence on other forces and powers, and this action is
reciprocal. To escape this constant and general confusion of influences, there
is only one way — to concentrate exclusively on the Divine Consciousness and to
open oneself only to the Divine Consciousness.
1954
Mother,
It is the general talk around here that if I want to assign
workers to departments I can always do so, but for one reason or another I do
not give them and thus I put people into difficulty. I don’t know whether they
actually believe it. I have never cared for popularity or public opinion, so
this view had no importance for me. But from the way you spoke yesterday
morning, I wonder whether the Divine also shares this view.
No, the Divine knows and cannot share in
any nonsense.
When exhibitionism seems to be more important than anything else,
when all possible facilities are being given to make life easy, when everything
is being given to us without any expectation of return, how can people work
unless there is a change from within? and, I am sorry to say, my eyes cannot
see it within the range of sight. Life is becoming more chaotic, the Divine
does not seem to be nearer, everything seems to be going topsy-turvy. In spite
of all the bright promises, I wonder what is in store.
Page
— 211
This is only a pessimistic view of things.
The opposite also is true and through this apparent chaos a new and better
order is being formed. But to see it one must have faith in the Divine Grace.
Cheer
up! Things are not so bad as you think.
With
love and blessings.
7 October 1956
(The Mother called the disciple to the Playground to see her on his
birthday, but he did not go. That evening she explained to him that she had
wanted to give him something inwardly. The next day he wrote:)
Mother,
I am sorry for my behaviour yesterday. May I apologise for it? I hope
missed opportunities will not be lost opportunities. May I pray that this one
may be the last of the series.
I wish I could be your true servant.
My dear child,
I
have spoken a little “severely” last night so that the mistake is not
reproduced but to say the truth, the consequences of it are already effaced and
what I wanted to give you is given it is left to you to make the proper use of
it.
I
consider you already as a true servant, but I want you also to become a true
child}, so that you may have the full joy of it.
With
my love and blessings.
27 January 1957
(The disciple wrote that he felt the Mother’s Presence only while
working, and therefore work was his only sadhana. The Mother replied:)
Page
— 212
In the integral Yoga there is no
distinction between the sadhana and the outward life;
it is in each and every movement of the daily life that the Truth must be found
and practised.
16 March 1958
(The disciple informed the Mother about a difficulty in work, then
added:)
As a discipline I should not complain to you about anything. For
some time I have been going on in this way. Somehow I feel that you will have a
control over things in the very near future. The only thing to be done is to
keep quiet. But I would like to know whether this attitude is correct — or is
it tamas in a guise?
Surely to be quiet is not tamas. In fact it is only in quietness that the proper
thing can be done. What I call quietness is to do the work without being
disturbed by anything and to observe everything without being disturbed by
anything.
However
if something seems to you quite wrong, you can always report to me — without
being disturbed — and I will see what is to be done.
My
presence and my blessings are always with you.
19 September 1959
(The disciple wrote that he wished to give up teaching Hindi
because his students were so apathetic. His letter ends:)
It is said that you give no importance to the Indian languages. Do
you want me to continue in spite of my students’
apathy or can I give it up?
Continue
without hesitation.
I
have the deepest respect for Indian
languages and continue to study Sanskrit when I have time.
Page
— 213
Amrita
says that the situation of his Tamil class is much worse than that of the Hindi
one. He says that he will continue even if the students come no more… he will teach to
himself!
With love and blessings.
30 September 1959
(The disciple’s Hindi students asked him to say something on the
subject of holidays. He referred their request to the Mother, who replied:)
Holidays
Shall we say holy days? There are two kinds of them: traditionally, the Lord for
six days (or aeons) worked to create his world and the seventh He stopped for
rest, concentration and contemplation. This can be called the day of God.
The
second one is: the men, the creatures, during six days work for their personal
interests and egoistic motives, and the seventh they stop working to take rest
and have time to look inwardly or upwardly, in contemplation of the source and
origin of their existence and consciousness, in order to take a dip in It and
renew their energies.
It
is scarcely necessary to mention the modern manner of understanding the word or
the thing, that is to say, all the possible ways of wasting time in a futile
attempt at amusing oneself.
October 1959
(The disciple wrote about a sadhak who
did very little work and, in addition, was advising new workers not to “slave
like coolies”. :)
When you are not doing your work with a
full sense of your
Page
— 214
responsibility, it is not a reason to incite new workers to act like you.
About 1960
(The disciple, responsible for assigning work to new persons
entering the Ashram, was upset to find that work had recently been given to
someone without even informing him. He asked the Mother how this could happen.)
All I can tell you is: Whenever a person
or persons send word to me asking for work and expressing their intention to
stay on for some time or to be admitted permanently, I always answer without exception: go to R¹ (if I speak
to the person himself) or send him or
them to R. How this is changed into something else and you are not informed
— that I cannot say — it is one of the mysteries of human nature, and I am
quite sure that many things happen without my being informed of them at all.
But
it is not a reason for being upset about it. There is only to remain quite cool
and to do our best within the limits that human nature ascribes to us.
After all the
whole, entire responsibility is the Lord’s and nobody else’s. So there is
nothing to worry about.
With my love and blessings.
26 February 1961
We have announced that in the proposed Aditi
book series each book will have about 100 pages. The first book will be “White
Roses”. Is it necessary to keep Huta’s introduction?
Yes, because what I have written was for Huta and not for others — to each one what is said is said in a different way — and to mix
all that makes a confusion.
1961
¹The
disciple.
Page
— 215
Mother,
I submit a summary of Anu’s play, Rajkumar, in her own
words. You may read it when you can. I would request you to make some
suggestion that may help in raising it from the commonplace,
that may help the consciousness of those who participate. I feel the
need of some change at the end. I do not know what.
Are the circumstances of the story
historical? or can they be altered? If they can be
altered, it would be more interesting if the hostile’s
instrument gets converted by the Prince’s love just at the moment of giving the
poison, confesses and gets pardoned.
This
old idea of the necessity of the catastrophe to make the power effective is a
limitation that has to be overcome.
Of
course, if it is historical and has to be kept, it is in the speech that the
higher truth must be told.
25 February 1962
Mother,
I was under the illusion that I have to arrange work for people. X
is in a very bad condition and Y is also unwell. So I thought that when Z
comes, he could be put in Honesty Society to help X. He has been a merchant. As
it always happens, the case has not been referred to me and I hear he is being
given to Bureau Central under your orders!! Yet just the other day I gave a
temporary hand to Bureau Central.
Page
— 216
X’s need
for a new worker is much more. But if it is your order, I bow down to
it.
Each time that an unpleasant situation is there or an impossible
person is to be handled, religiously they are passed on to me; otherwise… And
you say that I am responsible for works.
My dear child,
Must I take it for bad temper and that the
ego has been brushed the wrong way?… You seem very
bitter. And yet nothing is decided
finally on my side without
referring matters and telling that you must
be consulted for the most useful thing to be done. But never mind — if you
think things are not going the right way and I am responsible, let it be — I
accept the responsibility.
In
the present case, I am glad to know that Z can be more useful in Honesty
Society, so we shall send him there and hope everything will be all right. But
it remains absolutely true that I am mostly busy with something I consider more
important than exterior organisation — for the moment — and that is why I
expect each one to do his duty with the best of his capacity, and with his eyes
fixed upon the magnitude of the Divine’s work which will surely help him in his
personal difficulties.
Times
are hard for everybody and in everything — but it is surely to teach us to
overcome our limitations.
I
have full confidence in you, count upon you, need your work, and feel sure you
will get over the present difficulties.
With love and blessings.
6 August 1962
Mother,
X brought this pen from Nepal. He gave it to me. I
pass it on to you with the confidence that its coming to you will do good to China (it is made in China) and the relations
between India and China.
Page
— 217
Here is the writing. The pen seems good —
blessings to China!
27 August 1962
Mother,
Yesterday I was
sleeping in the day and you came in my dream and began to say something when someone
knocked at the door and woke me up. This was repeated thrice and each time
someone knocked at the door and gave me a severe headache. I hardly remember my
dreams, but this one was so vivid. I wonder whether actually you had something
for me.
Yes, indeed, I came to you — it is not the
only time — with some insistence, for general affairs, Ashram affairs and sadhana (yours) — that is to say, stating the point of your
advance.
Is
there no way of preventing people from knocking?
A
notice at your door, “Please do not knock now.”?
With
love and blessings.
25 October 1962
Mother,
A state of emergency has been declared by the President of India.¹
The Government can take drastic action. Our people right from A down to X, Y
and Z are speaking vehemently against Nehru and his Government at the gate, in
the streets, in the Dining Room, etc. Some even go on involving your and Sri Aurobindo’s name. This may invite unnecessary trouble for
the Ashram. I bring it to your notice.
¹On 20
October 1962 China invaded India at two points of her northern border. In the following week
Chinese soldiers captured several Indian military posts, but then withdrew.
Page
— 218
I am sending you a notice to put up in the
dining room.
We
shall have it on the notice board also.
Silence! Silence!
This is a time for gathering energies, and
not for wasting them away in useless and meaningless words.
Anyone
who proclaims loudly his opinions on the present situation of the country, must
understand that his opinions are of no value and cannot, in the least, help
Mother India to come out of her difficulties. If you want to be useful, first
control yourself and keep silent.
Silence!
Silence! Silence!
It
is only in silence that anything great can be done.
28 October 1962
A good advice to all the Ashramites
in their dealings with visitors and
foreigners
(and even among themselves )
“When
you have nothing pleasant to say about something or somebody in the Ashram, keep silent.
You
must know that this silence is faithfulness to the Divine’s work.”
October 1962
Mother,
You wrote to me that at night you come to me. I also try to reach
you but… alas.
Continue to try — one day you will
succeed, as still I come.
Blessings.
9 November 1962
Page
— 219
Page - 220
(When the disciple became editor of Purodha},
he began writing stories and articles for the journal. But, as he explained to
the Mother, he was afraid that his head would get swollen if his old ambition
of becoming a great writer rose up again. )
Behind all ambitions there is a Truth
waiting the opportune time to manifest. Now that the ambition is gone, it is
time for the truth (the capacities and abilities) to manifest.
Take
great care not to become “swollen”, but I am with you, helping you, in order to
do something that may be interesting.
With
love and blessings.
1962
Mother,
Somebody connected with the Ashram wants to publish a diary (not
for commercial purposes) with quotations from your writings along with the
writings of Vivekananda, Ramatirtha, etc. I have said
that it is not good to make this khichri [mixture].
Better don’t put Mother’s things. Is it all right?
You are quite right.
About 1962
I hear that you have flu - that won’t do.
You
must rest — but a rest of concentrated force, not of diluted
non-resistance to the adverse forces. A rest that is a power, not the rest of weakness.
Cheer
up, my child, shake off the bad influence.
With
my love and blessings.
7 January 1963
Page
— 221
Mother,
I would very much like to see you in your new body.
I suppose you mean my new appearance or my transformed body. Because for a new
body, I do not know of anybody who could make a complete living body within
which I could step without losing, at least partly, my present consciousness.
This of course could be a relatively quicker process, but not quite fair for
the cells of this body so full of enthusiasm, and lending themselves so
willingly to the somewhat exacting process of transformation.
In
any case, as I told you already, you must be prepared to wait a long time for
it, and to see many birthdays pass on. Which, of course, is very good and of
which I fully approve.
With
love.
25 January 1963
Mother,
X had written to you about the construction of the Orissa Boarding. Y has to do the work. Z and W will see the
technical side and I am also there. My work is not assigned in the letter. You
have approved and signed it. X tells me that I am expected to be a sort of
liaison for contacting you and the other departments as and when needed. The
work will start after Darshan.
How can the work start after Darshan? They do not have the needed money, only a very
small part of it. And it is impossible to
start work before having at least three-fourths
of what is needed.
Besides
the plan is not ready, the calculations are not made, nothing is ready
according to my knowledge. It would be pure
Page
— 222
folly to start anything in that condition.
I remember the letter of X but did not take it seriously for the reasons above
mentioned, and paid no special attention to your presence in this affair which
seems to me a little superfluous. So, unless all the money is collected and all
the plans and calculations are made and shown to me — nothing doing.
Blessings.
8 February 1963
Mother,
In my right leg —from the thigh right down to the heels — some
nerves are not working properly. I have a feeling of numbness and I limp while
walking, and sometimes if I am not careful it appears that I may lose control.
Please see. It started when I was ill in January.
I wonder why these things do not get cured unless I inform you
physically. When it is for others, I inform you in silence and it works. Can
you tell me?
It depends on the physical receptivity of
each one, and that receptivity depends itself on the more or less dominating mind.
3 March 1963
(While translating the Mother’s Words
of Long Ago into Hindi, the disciple
found that the story of Kaikeyi told there differed
from the version in the Hindi Ramayana. He wrote:)
I am afraid people will
criticise what is different from their belief on this point. They say that as Rama loved her so much, she was chosen for the most
difficult and unpleasant task.
It seems the Bengali
version tallies with what you have written,
Page
— 223
but the Sanskrit and Hindi versions of Ramayana are
different from it. What to do for the Hindi translation?
What I had written was not at all direct
knowledge but the translation of a book written in English more than 60 years
ago. So you can make all changes that are necessary.
Blessings.
6 March 1963
Mother,
You had told me that you do not want your name to be associated
with the name of Paul Richard in any way. X is writing about the early days of
the Ashram, where he speaks of your arrival. There he says that you came with
Richard who had come for electioneering, etc. This has been published in
English and Bengali. It has now come for publication in the Hindi “Purodha”. What is your advice?
I am very sorry for this. Nothing was told
to me about it. Stop it at that;¹ by
all means, let it be the last time something is publicly mentioned about (my?)
past life! — this body does not want to be spoken of — it wants to be quiet
and, as far as possible, ignored.
With
love and blessings.
9 April 1963
Mother,
Now an impertinent question. You wrote to me in
¹“That”
refers to the information that the Mother “came with Richard who had come for
electioneering”. From that phrase the Mother drew a line down to her reply,
thus connecting them.
Page
— 224
very strong language that you did not want to be bothered about
the details of Ashram affairs because you were too busy with your inner work.
But now you have begun to ask for such information. Does it mean that you have
crossed that line where all your attention was needed, and the future is in
your hand, or have we bungled so much that you have to spare time for these
affairs? I wish it were the first. Will you tell me the secret?
There is no secret. The second is true. Things
are in such a mess that I am compelled to keep an eye on them.
19 April 1963
Mother,
I see only two alternatives about this woman Y: either you keep
her as charity or you allow me to be a little strict and send her away, giving
her about 120 rupees for railway fares etc. for two. Z says that her organs are
affected by T.B.
Always, from the beginning, I considered
her as a case of charity and expected very little work from her — she is not of
the type that likes to be useful. Let her remain at the Lake and be given some
occupation that will keep her quiet.
Blessings.
20 April 1963
(Banarasi Ma, a woman from North India
with thousands of followers, went about Uttar Pradesh preaching that she
represented the work of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.
She made various predictions, among them that Sri Aurobindo
would reappear in human
Page
— 225
form on 15 August 1964. To enhance her prestige, she produced
forged letters supposed to have been written to her by the Mother. Writing
about her, the disciple ends his letter:)
About 4,000 people in that area of U.P. have joined her fold.
Quite many have left their jobs to be with her and all this on your mission and
in Sri Aurobindo’s name. People of our centre and
members of Sri Aurobindo Society in that area want to
know what should be their attitude and duty in face of this cyclone of
falsehood. I have to give some reply. Please say.
All this must stop at once and for all. It
is sheer forgery and the people who
do forgery ought to go to prison¹ or, at least, not allowed to go about
spreading their falsehoods and duping credulous people. Her first predictions all failed. These will fail in the same way, and those who
believe are simply fooled.
27 April 1963
(The Mother asked the disciple to dismiss from the Ashram a woman
who had become mentally unbalanced. When she refused to go, he wrote:)
Mother,
We had been to X. She refuses to listen to reason. She says she
won’t go even if her husband comes. Y is ready to take her forcibly. She wants an
interview with you. She speaks all sorts of nonsense. Instructions please.
It is quite
impossible to remove her forcibly. An interview is quite out of the
question. Let her be here so long as she
wants to remain. Try to lodge her somewhere where she will be as little
harmful as possible,
¹Beside
“ought to go to prison”, the Mother wrote “joke”, indicating that she did not
want the matter to go to court.
Page
— 226
give her just
what is necessary and otherwise ignore her presence (if she allows us to ignore
it).
I shall see.
Blessings.
27 April 1963
Mother,
I did not get any reply to my question about teaching classical
Hindi. Classical Hindi is a little difficult, but it contains the cream of the
language. Sri Aurobindo has given high praise to the
classical poets. Some students do not want it from the point of utility. They
want only modern Hindi — that is more useful in day-to-day work. Even there
they refuse to speak correct Hindi. They prefer the horrible thing that they
call Playground Hindi.
I intended to answer, and in a hurry
forgot to do it. The reply is: teach both — the true language and what it has
become. That will be very interesting indeed — and more than anything else can
cure them from the habit of speaking bad Hindi.
I am sending you one of Z’s files containing reports of incidents
in your life. I have put three or four marks. Almost all these things were
published in “Mother India”. Which of the things can pass in this book? Please
give me some criterion by which I may say what is “passable”.
I have just glanced at the file. All that
is the kind of rubbish that, since long, I have stopped trying to check it is
like children’s toys. The only thing I wanted to see was the “Japanese boat” and
my prophecy — because this sounds utterly false and needs rectifying.
Page
— 227
Let me tell you one incident. (I won’t publish it!) I had
collected Rs.67 from my writings. I required some books and I wanted to buy
them. One day suddenly I passed on the money to you and immediately afterwards
somebody sent me those books, plus others worth about Rs.200 as a personal
gift!
This kind of thing has happened hundreds
of times and is happening more and more — but to me it seems “quite natural”
although I am unwilling to explain.
9 May 1963
Mother,
I was popular with my students, but now I am losing my popularity
since I expect them to work seriously. What is the way out?
The way out? — is to take it coolly, not
to mind and to go on with the work quietly…expecting that better days will
come.
Blessings.
22 May 1963
Mother,
A friend wants to offer four or five electric fans for the Dining
Room. He will pay for the upkeep for a year or two. Do you accept?
Yes.
I have heard from his wife that he wants to put a ceiling fan in
my room also. My first reaction is “No, I don’t want luxuries.” But it seems a
greed is lurking somewhere. What is your advice? (I am not asking for
sanction.)
Page
— 228
The room is small. A fan would be good.
You can take it and see if it helps.
What
is bad is slavery — slavery to
abstinence as well as slavery to needs. What comes, we take but always ready to
let it go, if it goes…
Blessings.
24 June 1963
Page
— 229
(The disciple wrote about two Dining Room workers who quarrelled
and fought. His letter ends:)
X gave some blows, Y also gave some. Both fell on a window which
in turn fell down. This was at 11:25 when the Dining Room is full of diners.
I received a letter from X and I told him
what I thought of the event.
I
am not answering to Y — but all that seems very much like going back to the
time of primitive man in the caves…
We
do not wish to live the artificial life of civilised society, but it would be
better to climb up the ladder towards a greater civilisation, rather than fall
backward to the rule of the blows…
With
blessings.
6 July 1963
Mother,
On the 3rd July I finished 25 years of my stay. Usually I used to get
a scolding from you for one reason or other. This time I missed that.
Because you needed no scolding this year.
Z — the man with T.B.—- has dreamt three or four times that a very
dark figure comes to him and tries to strangulate him. He wants to know why
this happens and what he should do.
It is some wrong formation in the subconscient. But it would not have recurred if he had not
feared. It is the fear — more or less conscious — which does almost all the
mischief.
Without fear nothing can happen.
You
can tell him like that.
July 1963
Page
- 230
Mother,
There is an all-round deterioration of work and workers, and the
demands are increasing by leaps and bounds.
Yes, the disorder is general. The only
help is FAITH.
Blessings.
6 August 1963
Mother,
About going to Dr. X, I think it would be better that my body
should learn to depend upon you without any foreign aid. I have fears, and lack
of faith also attacks me, but I think that in spite of this you can and do help
me. Then is it necessary to go to somebody else?
It gives confidence to the body and that
way it helps. But I leave it to your decision.
Blessings.
26 August 1963
(The disciple informed the Mother of recent difficulties in
receiving visitors at the Ashram gate.)
To avoid all “stories” and complications,
it is better to have a second man or boy at the gate between 12 and 2, to bring
groups of visitors, especially when there are children, to Quadros
House where there is a big verandah which will be provided
with seats for them.
I
have received complaints that Y is very rude. I do not know how far it is true,
but you might ask him to behave properly.
Page
— 231
The
reception room will be closed between
12 and 2.
And
the verandah cannot be crowded with families,
children and luggage. I am trying to arrange things decently and need your
help.
Blessings.
24 October 1963
I enjoyed your letter and the “story”.
Here
is my answer. Is it an answer?…at any rate it is a fact and might explain some
things:
“I
give orders to those who are perfectly
and totally surrendered, as these orders cannot be discussed or disobeyed.”
With
my love and blessings.
25 October 1963
Mother,
It seems I have to work as an intermediary between Sri Aurobindo Society and the Oriya group. Please remember our
old contract: you do the work, I take the credit. Today I have to meet them.
Very good.
Say
to Z that as I am expected to do miracles, each one of you must also do some —
a few — miracles!
With
love and blessings.
14 November 1963
(A group of investors wished to economise on the construction of a
new building. The disciple asked the Mother for her opinion. )
In the matter of construction, you get
what you pay for. They believe themselves to be very clever, but if they spend
less, the
Page
— 232
house built will last less and even may
not be strong enough to resist the violences of
Nature. The appearance is the same for an untrained eye but the solidity and
the resistance are quite different. After saying all that, my conclusion is
“Let them do as they like.”
After
all everybody must learn his lesson.
Still
I add a word of warning. A badly built house cannot be repaired — because most
often it is the foundations that are defective.
Blessings.
18 November 1963
Mother,
I have just received a question from the President of the Sri Aurobindo Society through her Secretary. It asks me whether
I am ready.¹ Please say what I shall reply.
The question means
Are
you ready for the Hour of God?
You
can answer: Yes.
Blessings.
10 December 1963
Mother,
It seems that the Divine likes to be cheated. I have a note from X
saying that you have sanctioned breakfast for two children staying with Y.
Where you are mistaken is to believe that
I am cheated. This is impossible because their “intention” is for me much
clearer than their words.
¹The
President of the Society was the Mother. Her question, “Are you ready?”, was
issued soon after as her New Year message of 1964.
Page
— 233
At first they were sent to the Dining Room under the cloak of
emergency. After that, when they were checked, we were told that they had been
permitted to take food. When a written permission was demanded, they stopped taking
our food. Then I was approached to allow them on a payment basis. I know what
it means. I refused. Then I was told they will purchase milk and offer the
money to Mother. I said: “If you purchase milk, the money must come to the
Dining Room.” They agreed. And now this note that two children will have
breakfast and pay you Rs.10 monthly. According to our charges, it comes to
Rs.30 for two, and this is the thin end of the wedge. Such cases are going on
increasing. And what surprises me is that they have your approval.
No approval. But if I were to be strict
with all those who try to deceive me, very few would escape this strictness.
Love
and blessings.
About 1963
(The disciple wrote about a man who was performing miracles and
claiming that they were done through the Mother’s Force. The letter ends:)
He attributes all these miracles to you. But I wonder whether such
miracle-mongering is safe. It may be like old wine in new bottles.
We do see your miracles so often, but they never come distributing
leaflets advertising themselves.
I do not like these showy miracles — they
most often end pitifully.
Under
the pressure of the Force, the first effect is a dangerous swelling of the
egos.
Page
— 234
In
front of all that, there is only one attitude to take —
Do
your best and leave the result to the Lord.
Blessings.
About 1963
Mother,
My students have learnt some Hindi, but on a point of honour(!)
they refuse to speak correctly. Now I have tried for 5 years. Even my best students
speak very badly behind my back. I feel like giving up teaching in the next
year.
Try for 2 years more, perhaps after 7
years their “honour” will give way!…
Blessings.
About 1963
Mother,
I learn that Z is coming to see you today for his birthday. I
would like to know how you find him. I like him and yet my opinion is that he
is insincere, dishonest and extremely ambitious. I think that he tries to use
the name of the Ashram for personal ends.
I have seen Z. He is more raw than anything else; and as in all
primitive natures the ego is very prominent and selfish. Yes, something can be
made out of his ambition if proper care is taken of him and if he is kept
strictly on the right path with a few blows on the nose of his vanity.
Blessings.
About 1963
Page
— 235
Mother,
X has given me a letter from Y (see photo).
This man thinks that he is too big and we do not know his value. I gave him
part-time to the Bakery and part-time to Z at the Press. He has been given very
light work in the Bakery, but that is too much for him. Even if I give him to Z
he will not work. He is already trying to go to W — one of the best persons
with whom to be very busy doing nothing.
This is just what I had said of the man. I
refused to let him go to W. If he is a too big man to work, he can go. We have
no need of “big people”.
However
if he is truly useful in the Press,
he can work there for full time (eight hours a day).
With
my blessings.
14 January 1964
Mother,
I am unable to understand the attitude of our people in the face
of current shortages of milk and money. When I was a student, if we heard about
a famine, flood or earthquake anywhere, we used to cut down our milk, ghee,
clothes, etc. and send the money for the relief funds. Here, however, when the
parent body is in difficulty, an effort is being made for the boardings to be able to get all that they want. We too were
paying for our boarding and lodging and yet we cut down our food.
Unhappily (?) the present difficulty is
neither a flood nor a famine, nor a war, nor an earthquake, nor a
conflagration, nor any of these things which move the human sentiments and make
them dominate for a while the material desires named “needs”.
Page
— 236
Money
difficulties make generally people dry and even bitter, if not revolted. And I
know of some people who are on the verge of losing their FAITH because I do not have all the money I
need!
6 February 1964
Mother,
After trying for 26 years I find I am still far from being faithful.
Small matters can and do upset the balance. I wonder whether you will ever
succeed in changing me.
I am sure to succeed one day.
Inwardly things seem to be improving, outwardly a sort of
disintegration seems to be at the door. Where do we stand?
In front of a beautiful realisation.
Love
and blessings.
16 March 1964
Mother,
I have been asked whether Sri Aurobindo’s
followers can or cannot worship Rama, Krishna and the
other gods, whether they should perform religious ceremonies or stop them. I
replied that we do not have any set rules that each one has to follow. Each one
should do what he feels from within. I said that if one is sincere and wants to
be a servant of the Lord, he can become one even without knowing the name of
Mother and Sri Aurobindo, that Mother will respond to
him in the form of Radha or the Virgin Mary or Hanuman.
Page
— 237
It all depends on sincerity and faith. We neither ask
someone to perform the ceremony nor stop it. What do you say?
Quite right.
Love
and blessings.
23 March 1964
Mother,
Generally when I have to face a violent opposition, I call your
peace and the person opposite becomes quiet. Yesterday I tried the same thing with
the Punjabi youth. It seemed to act for a while, but then it had a very violent
reaction which made me rather nervous. How should one act in a case like this?
Cut connection, suddenly if possible, to
let fall down the aggressive vibrations.
Sometimes when I am sympathetic with a sick person, my body begins
to show the symptoms of his illness. Having been a medical student, my
imagination also works. When this happens, it does not go in spite of my best
effort, but it disappears with a harsh word from you. So I have to bother you
again. X’s diabetes is finding friends in my body. If only I could learn not to
go out of your protection.
The best way is to call for the Divine
Presence of Truth and Harmony, to replace the vibrations of disorder and confusion.
Blessings.
25 March 1964
Page
— 238
Mother,
Y’s brother wants to start a business in Bombay. He wants to use
Sri Aurobindo’s name in the name of the firm. I have
told him that it is not desirable to use this name.
He cannot
use Sri Aurobindo’s name.
5 May 1964
Mother,
Now a joke. In “Purodha” I give two
columns of extracts from Mother and Sri Aurobindo. I
do not mention always the name of the book from which they are taken. Now Z has
sent me a note warning me that this is illegal and the authors can sue me in
court!! I am eager to know to which court you two will go against me. If the
court fines me, the President of Sri Aurobindo
Society¹ will surely pay!!
It seems to me that you need not worry! I
do not know of such a court and there is no risk of being fined.
Blessings.
23 May 1964
Mother,
X and Y have developed an intimate enmity. I am tired of hearing
their complaints. Yesterday Z and W saved the situation; otherwise both the
parties would have received good blows in the Dining Room!! I have tried my
best, but can’t make out any reason for their quarrel. Please help.
¹The
President of the Society was the Mother.
Page
— 239
It is the heat! My advice is cold shower.
Blessings.
27 May 1964
Mother,
I would like to give an editorial note about Nehru in the Hindi “Purodha”. I have thought of giving your message, [The
Mother’s message, issued upon the passing of Jawaharlal Nehru in May 1964, was:
“Nehru leaves his body but his soul is one with the Soul of India that lives
for Eternity.”] followed by his Will where he speaks of his body becoming one
with the soil of India. I would like to finish it with a message about the
future of India. Any suggestions?
It is all right. No suggestion except that
the future of India is luminous in spite of its present gloom.
The other day I dreamt that many —- big and small — are being kept
in the Dining Room for being killed. I wanted to run away. But then I thought,
“If Mother wants it, let it be done.” It had a very strong impression upon me.
This dream is a result of your old sanskaras that are still alive in your subconscient.
No intention of killing pigs, unless they are the symbol of greed and gluttony.
Blessings.
10 June 1964
Mother,
Sometimes I have personal talks with my students. Some of the good
students give so much importance
Page
— 240
to money that it gives me a shock. They want to be doctors — to
earn more!! I am thinking whether I can have a debate in Hindi Sabha on “Whether money is the most important thing in
life”. Will it give them a chance to think seriously? I wonder.
Yes, try — it is very much needed. Money
seems to have become the Supreme Lord these days. Truth is receding in the
background; as for Love it is quite out of sight!
I
mean Divine Love, because what human beings call love is a very good friend of
money.
Blessings.
13 June 1964
Mother,
Now one question, if you care to reply. Each time that X or his people
get angry with me or with the Dining Room, you find fault with us. Why? It is
not so in other cases.
R, for God’s sake, do not be as silly as
the others.
I find fault with nobody! and never take
sides. But, my way of seeing is somewhat different. For my consciousness the
whole life upon earth, including the human life and all its mentality, is a
mass of vibrations, mostly vibrations of falsehood, ignorance and disorder, in
which are more and more at work vibrations of Truth and Harmony coming from the
higher regions and pushing their way through the resistance.
In
this vision, the ego-sense and the individual assertion and separateness become
quite unreal and illusory.
When
some extra confusion is created in
the already existing confusion, I direct upon it some special vibrations to
restore as much as possible a better harmony. It is not the individuals as such
that feel the “blow”, it is their clinging to or siding with the disharmony.
Page
— 241
To
say the truth, I was confident that you would instinctively side with the Truth
and understand that in such cases there is never one side right and one side
wrong, but all are to blame in the measure of their adhesion to falsehood and
confusion.
15 July 1964
Mother,
There was absolutely no question of your taking sides. The
question was not from vexation. I have made utmost effort to be in harmony with
X. I have not tried so much with anybody else continuously and for so long, and
it has always failed miserably. I wanted to know about that.
The vital of some people calls always for
disharmony, petty quarrels and confusion; they generally have also a kind of
mania of persecution and believe that everybody is against them. To cure that
is most difficult and requires a radical transformation of the nature.
The
best, when dealing with them, is not to mind the reactions and to go on doing
what one has to do with simplicity and sincerity. In this case, X has had from
me the biggest scolding I ever gave him; perhaps it will have an effect.
Blessings.
15 July 1964
Mother,
A student has asked me why time seems to pass so fast. I think it
has something to do with the inherent touch of eternity in us. I am not clear.
When one lives in contact with the
universal harmony, time passes without leaving any trace.
Page
— 242
Some of the best poets of Sanskrit and other Indian languages have
sung of Radha and Krishna in such a way that it seems
they speak of carnal desire and sexual cravings. There is something that says
that it is not mere sex mania. Perhaps they could not get any other language to
depict the contact with the Divine on the vital and physical planes and the
total surrender of the emotions and the body. This question comes up often.
I always considered it as an incapacity of
finding the true words and the correct language.
17 July 1964
(In mid-1964 there was a severe shortage of milk in the Ashram
because many cows had contracted hoof-and-mouth disease. To supplement the
diminished milk supply, powdered milk was given, with the Mother’s permission,
but the result was vehement objection from many persons. In general it was a
time of material difficulty, with much rumour and gloomy foreboding about the Ashram’s
future. The disciple referred to these things in his letter to the Mother.)
Yes, all these false and idiotic rumours
have come to me after turning round the Ashram. I attached no importance to
them.
I
hope that those who are faithful and have common sense will not lose their time
listening to all that.
All
what you say about the food business was known to me - but you will admit that
there is always a way of improving one’s action and make it more luminous and
comprehensive.
For
the powdered milk, for once I see things like Y. The taste is detestable and
the effect on the body still worse; I have witnessed many cases of poisoning
through powdered milk and am not ready to risk that.
Page
— 243
When
money is missing it must be replaced by an immense effort of goodwill and
organisation. It is that effort that I am asking for, a triumph over tamas and lazy indifference.
I
do not want anybody to give up but I want everyone to surpass himself.
With
love and blessings.
18 July 1964
(The disciple explained several problems concerning his work, and
ended:)
Please give us whatever we need to carry on the work smoothly in
these difficult days.
A watchful
faith will save the situation.
With
love and blessings.
6 August 1964
Mother,
X tells me that Y and Z of his department are completely
neglecting their work. The machine in the latter’s charge is covered with dust.
Younger W is teaching him all sorts of bad habits. I do not know what to do.
The bad service comes always when the
proper consciousness is lacking at
the head.
A
clear and precise vision of what is to be done and a steady, calm and firm will
to have it done are the essential conditions for an organisation to be run
properly. And as a general rule never ask from others the virtues you do not
possess yourself.
I
have a strong feeling that in that department the supervision is not what it
ought to be.
25 August 1964
Page
— 244
Mother,
Just for myself I would like to know why X’s stay is inadvisable.
In February she worked with us for 10 days for about 12 hours a day; for the
last 6 weeks she is doing about 10 hours a day and yet something prevents me
from recommending the case.
Your impression comes probably from the
fact that she has used all sorts of ways (some not quite straight) to remain or
come back, or stay here after having been told clearly that I wanted her to go.
Because of that one cannot say what she will be and do if once she were
admitted permanently here.
Blessings.
26 August 1964
(The disciple wrote about a woman who continued to live in the
Ashram even though the Mother had asked her to leave. No one in authority would
insist that she go. The letter ends:)
I do not know who is to look after all this or perhaps this is a
period of anarchy. X, Y and Z, all the three know about her case, but are doing
nothing.
Well, the best is to take it with a smile!
as it seems unavoidable — at least for the moment.
It
is when things are going wrong that it is the best opportunity to show one’s
goodwill and spirit of true collaboration.
Love
and blessings.
31 August 1964
Mother,
You had proposed that X’s son could be asked to help him, but he
is doing his own business with Y.
Page
— 245
He no longer works for the Ashram. Like so many others, he lives in
the Ashram and works for himself.
It is just that that is leading the Ashram
to financial ruin.
14 September 1964
Mother,
A childish question: Do animals and birds get the taste of the
food as we do?
Yes, but they do not think about it as we do.
Blessings.
22 September 1964
Mother,
The idea is to start a primary school in Ludhiana
on behalf of the Sri Aurobindo Society. The local
people want to start it as a high school. They can finance it. The main
difficulty would be about teachers - whether they can take such a big step and
keep the school under your influence. What do you say?
The teachers must be found first and the
school opened afterwards.
Blessings.
23 October 1964
Mother,
An Oriya sannyasi named Z came here to
stay. In a few months he left his sannyas and became
a human being. He is very fond of meditation. His body shivers and shakes when
he closes his eyes. He feels joy etc.,
Page
— 246
but sometimes he sees snakes around him and upon him; sometimes he
is among the wild animals. On the 4th or 5th he made a regular scene in the
meditation hall. I have advised him not to meditate till I get some answer from
you.
It must have been a fear (perhaps
subconscient) of the consequences of having rejected the sannyasi robe and this
fear translates by the attacks of snakes, etc. You can tell him not to fear,
that I am informed and nobody will hurt him.
Let
him try again to meditate with the confidence that he is protected. But he must
not try in public first. If his meditations become quiet, then he can once more
meditate with the others.
Blessings.
7 December 1964
(The disciple recounted his discussion with somebody on the
subject of work. The letter ends:)
For us the one certainty was, “Whatever Mother accepts as work is
work.” I am not in despair; I am amused and I have to continue to do what I do
not regard as even the A-B-C of work!!, because your compassion accepts it!
R, you are becoming very wise and
approaching the realisation that we are nothing, we know nothing and we can do
nothing. Only the Supreme Divine knows, does and is.
Love.
1964
Mother,
Some Kitchen workers would like to use a little soda from time to
time. Do you allow it?
Page
— 247
Not very good for the stomach!
And tamarind?
All right.
Blessings.
1964
Mother,
A personal question. You have now allowed the use of tamarind. But
some 20 years back you gave me a very good scolding because I prepared a
tamarind drink for someone. You told me that it was bad for health and it was
one of the things responsible for the lethargy of Indians. It was almost the
same thing that our ancient sages have said. Now I want to know whether the
values have changed or whether you are giving a concession to human desires.
I have heard so many contradictory reports
on the effects of food, spices, etc., that logically I have come to the
conclusion that it must be — like all the rest — a personal affair and
consequently no general rule can be made and, still less, enforced.
This
is the cause of my leniency.
Blessings.
1964
Mother,
X (see photo) has been working with me. He is full of fear that he
is becoming weaker and weaker. He cannot digest tomato, butter, bread and
vegetables. He has filaria and gas trouble. He wants me to change his work; he
admits that his work is neither heavy nor much,
Page
— 248
but he says that even this is too much for his health.
If tell him something, he thinks I
simply want to extract work from him and do not care for his body. He wants to
do only desk work.
Vital force is very poor and mental suggestions rather strong. Do what he asks for
a time. He may find out that it is all imagination, for it is his imagination that makes him sick or
rather gives him the impression of
sickness.
1964
(The disciple wrote about difficulties in the Ashram, then
concluded:)
An old and very weak father of a friend of Y has enlarged
prostate. The condition is serious. The doctor has advised operation. He seeks
your guidance and blessings.
Most probably the end is approaching. All
depends on his nature and will. If he prefers to go away quietly and without
struggle, let him be quiet and pull on as long as he can. If he likes the
fight, let him be operated and see what happens. My blessings, in any case, are
with him.
As
for the condition in the Ashram, it is as you say and probably worse. I shall
say like Sri Aurobindo: unless the consciousness
changes nothing can really be done.
You
will interfere — and it is good as an example and a demonstration — but the
next day it will become worse.
We
cannot even call down the Truth to manifest. The falsehood is so widely and
deeply spread that the result would be a wholesale destruction.
Yet,
the Grace is infinite — it may find out a way!
Blessings.
1964
Page
— 249
Mother,
I am very sorry to say that a great discontent has spread amongst
the workers of the Lake Estate. But if I speak to Z on the subject, he flares
up: “Magnificent work is going on there, etc., etc.”
People are here to change their
consciousness. Unless they become, all of
them, true to their aim, nothing true can be done.
1964
Mother,
X is going north on the 1st. Most of his business dealings are in West Bengal, Assam and Sikkim.
Page
— 250
He has good sales
there, but he has to give on credit. He wants to know whether he can continue.
Honest business is getting more and more
risky.
There is one Y who was given work at the Comfort Boarding, but due
to illness she had to stop. She is having a lot of trouble with her stomach and
trachoma in her eyes. She came here in frustration. When she works she works
well, but most of the time she is bedridden. Now she wants to die.
People who feel miserable here and find
that they have not the comfort they require ought not to stay. We are not in a
position to do more than we do, and, after all, our aim is not to give to
people a comfortable life but to prepare them for a Divine Life which is quite
a different affair.
1964
Mother,
In October or November I used to get my supply of dry fruits and persimmons.
Please see if something is possible.
What is truly needed, will surely come.
Blessings.
1964
Mother,
As far as work is concerned, surely I will be happy to welcome
some willing hands. I get nervous when the question of finance comes up, and
giving out more dal, oil, spices, etc. comes in that category.
Page
— 251
Page - 252
It is not so much a question of finance
but of rationing, it seems (scarcity of grains, etc.).
But
I propose that we should simply do what is right and fair, without thinking too
much of the future, leaving it (the future) to the care of the Divine’s Grace.
With
love and blessings.
1964
Mother,
There was another letter from X demanding money and charcoal…
Useless to say that my force and help are intensely
with all those who, along with me, are fighting this state of affairs and all I
ask them is to be confident and to endure.
The
Truth shall triumph.
Bon
courage.
With
love and blessings.
11 February 1965
(In February 1965 a number of Ashram premises were stoned, looted
or burned, ostensibly as part of an anti-Hindi protest. When the Ashram’s main
compound was stoned, many of those inside went out to repel the attackers. The
disciple, however, remained inside the compound, for he did not feel any
impulse to physically resist the threat. A strong force like an electric
current was flowing through his body, and inwardly he was calm. Describing this
experience to the Mother, he concluded:)
I felt that if I could be confident and peaceful and call for your
help, then nothing would be able to touch the Ashram. I even moved about in the
Ashram in the same state. This lasted till after eleven in the night.
Page
— 253
I have had a taste of this experience before also, but it never
lasted for more than a few moments. Now I am beginning to doubt whether this
was not a cloak to hide my timidity.
Never doubt such an experience.
It
is exactly the condition in which everybody ought to have been, the condition I
was bringing down on the Ashram, and if it had been shared by all nothing could
have happened, all the most violent attacks would have been in vain.
Blessings
.
18 February 1965
Mother,
I pray to you to save India from the Indians.
Yes, it seems rather necessary!
Love
and blessings.
25 February 1965
Mother,
I wish to know whether the servants could be allowed to come for
the raw vegetables from the west door of the Dining Room.
You know that I am not enthusiastic about
servants handling the food — but many people seem to like it, through laziness,
I suppose!
26 February 1965
Page
— 254
Mother,
In the next issue of “Purodha” I am giving a note by Y about the
attack on the Ashram — it is just a statement of what happened without
sentimental colouring, accompanied by your statement.
I am sending a copy of the statement such
as it will appear in the Bulletin and
must appear henceforth in all the publications who want to speak of it; as you
will see, I want to keep only the constructive part. The rest has done its work
and is no more necessary.
9 March 1965
(The Mother’s statement on the attack on the Ashram)
A Declaration
Some people looking at things
superficially, might ask how is it that the Ashram exists in this town for so
many years and is not liked by the population?
The
first and immediate answer is that all those in this population who are of a
higher standard in culture, intelligence, good will and education not only have
welcomed the Ashram but have expressed their sympathy, admiration and
good-feeling. Sri Aurobindo Ashram has in Pondicherry many sincere and faithful
followers and friends.
This
said, our position is clear.
We
do not fight against any creed, any religion.
We
do not fight against any form of government.
We
do not fight against any social class.
We
do not fight against any nation or civilisation.
We
are fighting division, unconsciousness, ignorance, inertia and falsehood.
We
are endeavouring to establish upon earth union, knowledge,
Page
— 255
consciousness, Truth, and we fight
whatever opposes the advent of this new creation of Light, Peace, Truth and
Love.
16 February 1965
Mother,
I am told that the recent violence against the Ashram was the
result of Mahakali’s wrath and you are supposed to have said that this was not
the last. I thought that it was an act of the hostile forces. If truly it is
Mahakali’s work, then is it to be welcomed?
People always deform what I say. It is better
not to listen to them. But I have written something on the subject and will
send a copy to you soon.
There
is no question of welcoming destruction, but of learning the lesson it gives.
9 March 1965
(The Mother’s statement on the working of Kali)
Behind all destructions, whether the
immense destructions of Nature, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, cyclones,
floods, etc., or the violent human destructions, wars, revolutions, revolts, I
find the power of Kali, who is working in the earth-atmosphere to hasten the
progress of transformation.
All
that is not only divine in essence but also divine in realisation is by its
very nature above these destructions and cannot be touched by them. Thus the
extent of the disaster gives the measure of the imperfection.
The
true way of preventing the repetition of these destructions is to learn their
lesson and make the necessary progress.
10 March 1965
Page
— 256
Mother,
I am grateful for the message that you have sent. Is it only for
me or can it be put in “Purodha” also? I would like to know why one should not pray
for Mahakali’s intervention when the destruction that she brings is only for
hastening your work. I have seen that when you scold, one feels your hand
supporting from behind, so that we may not fall. If a few blows from her can
make us go straight on your path, then why not welcome her?
The message will appear in the Bulletin.
Better leave it for that. It would be too easily understood in a partial mental
way — and the results are rather disastrous. She is not the only power at work
in the world. There is also Love and Grace.
Blessings.
16 March 1965
Mother,
I know that it is useless to bother you, but I cannot stop myself.
X is trying to smuggle one of his relatives into the Ashram. She will be
perfectly useless. She gets fits and has many diseases. I am being asked to
give her some work, but not in the Dining Room, not in the school, nothing that
may put the least strain! It may be that you do not even know her and she is
going on merrily with “Mother’s permission”.
Outwardly the whole scene is becoming more and more gloomy. But
you are there and I hope you are sufficiently powerful.
I do not know if I am powerful or not (because it is not sure where is the I), but
the Lord is all-powerful — that is beyond
Page
— 257
all doubts, and He is looking into the
matter.
Love.
20 April 1965
(The Mother favoured the use of coconut oil in preparing the
Dining Room food, but most of the diners preferred groundnut oil. The disciple explained
this to the Mother and then asked whether some Ashram-grown coconuts could be
sold in the market to finance the purchase of groundnut oil.)
This coconut affair is one of the great
absurdities of the Ashram. At one time I was feeling like protesting against
this stupidity. Now I smile and feel like letting them do as they like. On one
point still I insist, it is the availability of green coconuts for drinking,
because it is very beneficial for health. Apart from that, the ripe ones can be
sold and groundnut oil bought for consumption in the kitchen.
With
love and blessings.
5 June 1965
Mother,
A friend who comes here often put a question to me. I simply
laughed and evaded it because I do not know the answer. He says that formerly
when he came he used to find some sort of austerity and economy. Now when the
condition in the country is worse, he finds lavish prosperity. From this he
concludes that the Mother had taken all the forces of poverty etc. upon the
Ashram, worked upon them and banished them; now it is only the after-effects
that are visible in the country and very soon the country will be prosperous.
Page
— 258
It is a way of saying something, some
action, on a much wider scale, and difficult to put into words.
13 June 1965
(The following letter, addressed to the disciple, was forwarded to
the Mother for decision.)
“R, May I draw your kind attention to the following: one gentleman
from our village has come here. He is praying earnestly for staying here. He is
ready to do any sort of work. He knows a little of gardening and seems to be
laborious. He says he is accustomed to do hard work though he is aged. May you
kindly do the needful. Thanks.”
Forwarded to the Supreme.
The man is above 70. He looks very old. If Mother wants to keep
him, Y can try him in the Maret Annexe Garden. Z will lodge him.
My vision says no
My
pity says: Let us give him a trial.
My
reason says in that way we will be caught.
Blessings.
19 June 1965
(The following letter from a Dining Room worker was sent to the
Mother through the disciple.)
Dear Sweet Mother,
I am working at your Dining Room Service since last six years.
When my wife died I left home for the Ashram, leaving my two daughters and a son
to the care of my mother-in-law’s house. They are now aged 14 and 9 (daughters)
and 10 (son). My mother-in-law, who has limited means, is unable to support
them now. I pray to bring these motherless children here and let them
grow up under your care. Awaiting your kind sanction and permission.
Page
— 259
This is very nice — I would like to “shelter” the whole world, or at least all those
who aspire for a better life. But we lack place and means.
You
can tell him that just now I have refused to allow X (working in the
Blanchisserie¹to bring his wife and daughter…
It
is more a postponement than a refusal.
Let
the town grow and the means increase and our hospitality also will be enlarged.
Blessings.
20 June 1965
Mother,
The people who cook at home do not relish the coconut oil we are
giving them. They want groundnut oil instead.
They have been given coconut oil, that is
why they want groundnut oil — but coconut oil is everywhere (even in Europe) considered
as of a higher quality and much easier to digest.
However these are very minor things that can
be adjusted according to their wish.
24 June 1965
Mother,
Just for your information; no reply expected.
Some months back Y made one stainless steel cooker for our rice.
We did many experiments with it. When it was successful, he gave another. He
will give
¹The
Laundry.
Page
— 260
more in July. By the end of
July, he says, we shall be able to cook all our rice with steam.
But today Z has placed an order for some more cooking pots in
aluminium, so that we may have sufficient pots to cook for the 5,000 persons we
expect in February 1968.
In the normal course I would not have informed you about these
little things, but it is better that you know so that overlapping may be
avoided and you may not have to spend money on two sides for the same thing.
Although you do not ask for an answer, I
must tell you that I have agreed for the vessels asked from Y; but nothing was
told to me about the aluminium vessels of which I do not approve, because
aluminium is not good for cooking. I
am speaking of my own experience.
Blessings.
26 June 1965
Mother,
I find it extremely unpleasant to bother you again and again, but I
am obliged to write again. The aluminium pots are meant only for cooking rice.
I thought they were safe for things that do not have salt or acid. But if you
do not approve, we can cancel the order.
I may inform you in passing that when our French enamel basins
were rejected, we got some Indian basins for curds, but their enamel was so bad
that they began to smell in two days and they were discoloured. We were obliged
to take up aluminium basins for curds as nothing better was available. That is
continuing. In the villages they use clay pots, but here they bring many
problems. We can try again for better enamel if you like.
Page
— 261
My objection to aluminium is that it makes
the food blackish and gives an unpleasant taste. If, however, it has not that effect
upon rice, it is quite all right.
For
curds it is certainly not advisable. Earthen vessels would be much better — the
best if they are properly glazed.
Blessings.
27 June 1965
(The disciple was told that the Mother wanted him to do a certain
unpleasant task. Though willing to do it, he was surprised by the request and
therefore wrote to her. His letter ends:)
I hope my relation with you is not such that you may have to ask
me whether I will do this or that. I hope you have not to hesitate before
asking me to do a certain work, pleasant or unpleasant.
No, when I want something from you, I tell
you straight off, not through anybody, nor if it pleases you - because when I
ask you something, I am sure that it must please you.
With
love.
27 July 1965
Mother,
Every day X tells me his tale of misery. I am of opinion that one
must accept unreservedly what comes from you. I know it is not easy; in that
case one should either put it to you or even quarrel with you and the thing
will get cleared up. After all, who else can help us in our difficulties? He
does not like the idea. I don’t know how I can help him. Can you tell me why he
is so rigid on this point and why he always gets into a sea of troubles?
Page
— 262
Once more, the lack of faith of the human
mind brings complications and pain where with a quiet faith in the Divine
Guidance all could be very simple and easy.
It
is for the growth of this faith and confidence that I am working since so many
years. Obviously the resistance is obstinate.
Blessings.
11 August 1965
Mother,
I used to laugh at people who said that they could not digest the
Dining Room food. It is an irony that now I am finding some difficulty with the
reformed food. I request you to adjust my body to the changes.
It is more mental than physical.
When some problem arises in the Bakery or Blanchisserie, it is put
before me. I have found a trick: I postpone deciding and inwardly leave the
matter in your hands. Automatically a solution comes and I get the credit.
This is indeed the true way and ought to
be used in all cases.
I am not able to do the same where the Kitchen is concerned and I
prefer to avoid it.
Because there is as yet too much of the
ego mixed up with the kitchen affair.
I have always asked you to make me more and more useful in your
service. For some time past the idea is coming that this is also an ambition
and a personal
Page
— 263
demand and should be avoided like any other demand, that it should
be left to you either to make me more useful or…On the face of it, it sounds
good, but I fear that in my case it is a veiled demand of tamas and inertia or
frustration - which I see clearly coming from outside as a contagion.
Aspiration is always good, and if some demand is mixed up with it, you can be
sure that it will not be granted.
I hope that the trouble in Kashmir is the first step towards the
unity of India and Pakistan.¹
The Supreme Wisdom is seeing to it.
Of
one thing we must be convinced — all that happens is exactly what must happen
in order to lead us and the world as quick as possible to the goal — the union
with the Divine and ultimately the manifestation of the Divine.
And
this faith - sincere and constant — is at once our help and protection.
Love.
2 September 1965
Mother,
Y is on his way to Punjab. He has sent me a wire from Madras:
“Situation changed. Wire instructions.” I think he is a little afraid of the
war. May I reply: “Blessings unchanged. Proceed.”? He has gone with your
blessings.
¹On 1
September 1965 Pakistan invaded India, crossing the western border of
Jammu-Kashmir. The conflict ended in a cease-fire three weeks later on 22
September.
Page
— 264
Page - 265
There is truly war up there. It is only if
he is fearless that he can go.
Blessings.
7 September 1965
(The Mother’s message to the Prime Minister of India)
It is for the sake and the triumph of
Truth that India is fighting and must fight until India and Pakistan have once
more become One because that is the
truth of their being.
16 September
1965
THE MOTHER
Here is my message on the occasion
(corrected¹ because of the world’s condition of mind and feeling)and some
relevant quotations.
Your
letter is welcome.
With
love and blessings.
16 September 1965
Mother,
Due to the war and the threatening invasion, you must be having
serious difficulty of money. We have about Rs. 4,000 with Z in the name of the
Blanchisserie. May I request you to treat that money as your own and take it
whenever you need? By your grace, we shall be able to pull on till better times
come. I have kept Rs.100.
Please see that we are truly faithful to you during these days of trial.
If we cannot do anything positive, at least let us not create problems for you.
I pray that India may become truly yours.
¹In her message, as
written out for the disciple, the Mother crossed out “shall” and replaced it
with “must”; the official message reads “must fight”.
Page
— 266
This is a very comforting note which I do
not hear often. It is much appreciated. Just now the Blanchisserie money will
remain with the cashier.
Later
on we shall see what becomes of the financial situation.
With
love and blessings.
17 September 1965
Mother,
At the time of this temporary setback,¹ let me pray:
“Glory to Thee, O Lord, who triumphest over every obstacle.…Give
us a faith active and ardent, absolute and unshakable in Thy Victory.”²
Let us wait and see. The result is sure —
but the way and the time are uncertain.
Blessings.
23 September 1965
Mother,
When such people as X come and speak against you, I feel as if a big
flame with many tongues is arising in me, and if it goes further I feel
something which I like to call Kali’s presence. As soon as that comes, the
person in front of me becomes docile. What is it?
It must be Kali’s force which you evoke.
For the school in Ludhiana — they want to call it Sri Aurobindo
School. I think that your name or
¹India’s
acceptance of a cease-fire with Pakistan was considered by many, including the
disciple, as a setback to the eventual reunification of the two countries.
²These are the first and last lines of the
Mother’s prayer of 23 October 1937.
Page
— 267
Sri Aurobindo’s name may be conferred upon an institution only
after you are satisfied with their work, at least for a few years.
Quite right.
Y who works with me claims that he is not keeping good health and
should be relieved from most of his work. He used to work for 9 hours; it came
down to 5; now he wants to work only for an hour or so.
This is quite ridiculous. If the man is paying
nothing, you can tell him that if he reduces so much his work, we will be
obliged to reduce his food proportionally — and then the health will become
worse!
Blessings.
25 September 1965
Mother,
When they grind wheat with the stone mill, the bread does not rise
and in spite of having the same quantity of flour, it looks smaller — so people
ask for more bread. If they grind it with the iron mill, the bread swells more
and gives more satisfaction.
But the vitamins are destroyed by the heat
and an important part of the nourishment is lost.
3 October 1965
R, Are you scolding your students in the
Hindi class?
Answer
to the question quite frankly and then I shall tell you why I put this strange
question.
Blessings.
21 October 1965
Page
— 268
(The disciple explained how he treated the students of his Hindi
class, ending :)
Many people have told me that when I am serious, it appears that I
am going to scold. But I am accustomed to making fun instead of scolding. I
always hear laughter in response. But you can’t say. There are two students, X
and Y, who are very weak; they never work and are always irregular. I told them
that if they do not want to work they can give up the subject. Perhaps these
two are finding me an oppressor.
It is exactly what I expected. It is a
young girl who wrote to me complaining that you made her weep. Immediately I
thought that she must be one of those who refuse to progress. But before telling
her that she can leave the class, I wanted to be sure…
Perhaps
you know who it is.
Love
and blessings.
22 October 1965
Mother,
It was a shock for me to hear that of all the students Z has
complained about my behaviour. Nobody has ever wept in my class. Z has been
very intimate with me since she came to the Ashram. I am sorry that she has
chosen to give up my subject; she had planned to work hard with me and make up
for her past negligence. She always told me that she likes my class very much
and I could see that she enjoyed it more than many others. It brings the same
question: Can you trust anybody, and what is the use of working for these
children when such is the reaction? There must be something seriously wrong
with me which invites such allegations.
Page
— 269
This is exactly the kind of treatment the
Divine receives from the world. Even Sri Aurobindo was not spared. You see that
you are in good company and there is no reason to despair.
23 October 1965
Mother,
For giving true education you have said: “Get out of conventions
and insist on the growth of the soul.” I can write two pages on this, but
actually I do not understand it at all. When I teach the Ramayana I can lay
stress upon surrender to the Divine or such matters, but when I take up grammar
or some other aspect of literature, what can I do to insist on the growth of
the soul?
The contradiction comes from the fact that
you want to “mentalise” and this is impossible. It is an attitude, an inside
attitude mostly, but which governs the outside as much as possible.
It
is something to be lived much more than to be taught.
Blessings.
28 October 1965
NOTICE
The whole of India is in acute food
difficulty.
All
food grains are rationed.
I
appeal to the goodwill of each one not to ask more than what is strictly
indispensable.
November 1965
Mother,
The Prime Minister has asked the country to have dinnerless
Mondays.
Page — 270
The hotels etc. are being asked to cooperate.
Are we expected to do something in this connection?
It would be a hundred times more effective
to never waste food than to cut down one meal as a show and to eat more before
and after. A strong, ardent, sincere campaign against the waste of food is
essential and full-heartedly I approve of it.
Let
the inmates of the Ashram show their goodwill and collaboration in never eating
more than they can digest and never asking for more than they can eat.
3 November 1965
Mother,
I have to pay certain bills of the Blanchisserie. I have got the
sum. But the bills will take some time to come. My reason says: “Since I know
that I have to pay the bills, I must keep the amount; if I give it to you, it
will be like challenging the Grace.” But another part of me says: “Don’t worry,
give the money away; more will come when the bills arrive.” Neither idea is
stronger than the other. In such cases what is the proper way of taking a
decision?
Once the mind has started working, it
hampers the action of the Grace - so it is better to keep the money.
10 November 1965
Mother,
Once I was very much disappointed with the result of my work in
the school. I wanted to give up. You said that I should work for seven years
and then ask for your advice. This year I have finished seven years of my school
work.
Page
— 271
The students enjoy my classes, but they do not
like the fact that I make them work. I do my best, but fail to satisfy them.
Tell me whether I have to continue. There is no dearth of teachers; there are
several who would like to replace me. They think that mine is a position of
prestige!!
Try for seven years more; we shall see
afterwards! I can add that teaching (with all its moral consequences) is part
of your Sadhana.
With
love and blessings.
11 November 1965
Mother,
And now a personal question. I know that at the present moment
cooperation and coordination are essential for the Ashram. I try my level best
and I think I do so with all sincerity, and yet I fail miserably. I have heard people
say that I speak very sweetly, but my actions are just the opposite. I think
that I try to accommodate with everyone. I am not foolish enough to think that
I am the only sincere person in the Ashram; so there must be some serious
handicap in me which comes in the way. Can you tell me what it is that stops
me, that comes in the way of my cooperating successfully for the work?
Do not take it as a personal affair.
Disharmony and confusion are spread all over the world because of the
resistance of the falsehood to the action of the Truth. Here as the action of
the Truth is more conscious and concentrated, the resistance is exasperated.
And in this great turmoil, most of the individuals are moved about like puppets
by the forces in their conflict.
25 November 1965
Page
— 272
Page -
273
Mother,
Once again may I ask you what “Réalisateur Suprême” means in the end of your prayer “Gloire à Toi”?¹ You explained it
to me some seven or eight years back, but it got completely washed off. After
that I have asked you thrice orally or in writing and each time you have
evaded. Please tell me once more.
It is not purposely that I have “avoided”,
but probably I did not give you the mental answer you wished for.
To
make you really understand it would need a very long explanation and I have
very little time at my disposal.
In
short I might say that “Réalisation Suprême” for the individual means identification with the Divine and
for the collectivity upon earth, the advent of the Supramental, the New
Creation.
Do
not treat this as a dogma, but only as an explanation.
And
“Réalisateur” is the
Supreme Power of realisation, the doer and the act.
Blessings.
20 December 1965
(While translating Quelques Réponses de la Mère into Hindi, the disciple asked the Mother to explain certain
words and phrases.)
Mother,
In 1942 you wanted to teach me French, but I refused to take your
time - and now!!
1. “Il faut bien que ceux qui ont du courage, en aient pour ceux
qui n’en ont pas.”
(Ironical) It is quite necessary that
those who have courage should have some (courage) also for those who have none.
¹The prayer
of 23 October 1937.
Page
— 274
2. “…il y a une grande joie dans la
recherche; mais c’est vrai que mon coeur sera toujours altéré.”
There is a great joy in seeking; but it is
true that my heart will always be thirsty (for knowledge).
1965
Mother,
Please explain three phrases of yours:
1.
“Ne te fais pas de mauvais-sang.”
Do not worry or do not bother yourself
about it (it depends on the context).
2. “Si en toute sincérité, on n’agit que pour exprimer la volonté Divine, il n’est pas
d’action qui ne puisse échapper à l’égoïsme; mais tant qu’on n’a pas atteint cette condition, il est des
actions qui sont plus favorables au contact avec le Divin.”
There is no action that cannot escape
selfishness or all actions without exception can become unselfish.
3. “La santé est l’expression extérieure d’une harmonie profonde, il faut en être fier et non la mépriser.”
Good health is the exterior expression of
an inner harmony. We must be proud if we are in good health (or appreciate
being in good health) and not despise it (or treat good health with contempt).
1965
Mother,
Please explain the final phrase:
Page
— 275
“Le véritable
amour est une chose très profonde et très calme dans son intensité: il peut très bien ne pas se manifester par des effusions extérieures.”
It (Love) may quite well not manifest
itself (love) in any exterior acts (or signs or forms), sentimental or
affectionate.
In French, “effusions” is used ironically
and means a display of affection.
1965
Mother,
“To conquer the Divine is a difficult task” - I think I have not
understood this phrase properly.
Take “conquer” in the sense of
“acquisition” or “possession”.
You
might say - the conquest of the Divine’s Consciousness is a difficult task.
Commentary:
for human beings to become conscious of the Divine and to possess His nature is
difficult.
1965
Mother,
X has told me about your arrangement for the mill-room. I am very
happy about it. It will give a much needed rest to Y. I hope it will work out
well.
It depends on how much each one cares more
for harmony than for the triumph of his own will!
Love
is with all, working for the progress of each one equally - but it triumphs in
those who care for it.
Love.
1965
Page
— 276
(During a period of milk shortage in the Ashram, the Mother asked
the disciple for information.)
I would like to have two figures, if you
can give them or get them:
1)
What is in litres the quantity of milk required daily if we give the full
ration?
Page
— 277
2)
How many litres of milk we are getting per day (maximum) all told?
With
method, order, and care there is no difficulty that cannot be solved.
With
love and blessings.
About 1965
(The disciple related the complaints of the laundry workers.)
Be careful about the various reports of
the workers - they are always biased. Each one speaks always with his
preferences (likes and dislikes) and twists things.
Blessings.
About 1965
Mother,
I had a queer dream. Communists attacked my room. They climbed up
to the windows from outside. They were abusing, shouting and screaming; but
something was preventing them from entering inside. I stood quite unperturbed
as if it had nothing to do with me.
This concerns the country, not you
personally.
Yesterday my right arm was very slightly hurt. I don’t know why,
but I almost swooned for about a minute. I do not see any reason for this.
Concentrate more constantly on the Divine
Presence and the protection will be more spontaneous.
Love
and blessings.
About 1965
Page
— 278
Mother,
Each time that I try to rise a little in my consciousness, I get a
great setback and it seems to fall instead of rise. When I give up the effort,
it becomes normal.
As for the progress, it is because you are
trying mentally} and the mental is always a limitation to the consciousness. It
is only the aspiration from the heart and the psychic that can be effective.
(And when you stop trying, you let me work in you and I know the proper way!)
About 1965
Mother,
I have read a good deal on “what is humour”, both ancient and
modern. Your humour does not fit any of the definitions and yet I find your humour
to be the most humorous. Can you tell me what is true humour?
The humour of the Supreme.
About 1965
Mother,
According to the old tradition there is a cycle of four ages or Yugas:
Satya, Treta, Dwapara and Kali. In “The Yoga and Its Objects” Sri Aurobindo
seems to confirm it. I did not find any definite mention in other places.
Please tell me whether the Satya Yuga that you are bringing is again to be
followed by the other three and the world is to fall into this darkness over
and over again.
I do not know how they will call what I am
bringing, and
Page
— 279
according to Sri Aurobindo it will be
followed by the New Creation and the advent of the Supramental. That is all I
know.
Blessings.
About 1965
Mother,
Does the cow really have a special sanctity or is it merely a
tradition based on economic needs?
Mere tradition based on old symbols.
Blessings.
About 1965
Mother,
Z has produced many children at very short intervals. I advised
him to have a little control. Instead of that, he tried for an abortion for his
wife when the next occasion came. It has failed. His wife is ill. He now wants
to know the proper way.
Control or, if he is incapable of it(?),
operation on himself. It has become very fashionable!
About 1965
Mother,
I am very sorry about the muddle over X. He has told me several
times that he is unhappy in his department and wants to come out, but he does
not want to say so in the face of Y. He wants it to be said that he is changing
to the Laundry because Mother wants it.
Page
— 280
I do not like such a weakness going to the
point of hypocrisy. Is there nobody else who could look after the
Blanchisserie?
As
for replacing Z in the Blanchisserie, unless X is frank and says to Y that he
wants to go there and do that work, I do not want him, because my words are not
diplomatic and I shall say the truth to Y whatever is the result.
In
fact, it would be better to find somebody a little more courageous to work in
the laundry.
Blessings.
15 January 1966
Mother,
I had taken your permission to give Sri Aurobindo’s stories retold
in Hindi (not translated) in Hindi “Purodha”.
It seems to me better if it is simply
translated. What is your reason for retelling and not translating?
4 February 1966
Mother,
The reason for retelling Sri Aurobindo’s stories in Hindi is very
simple. It is honesty. We do not want to pretend that we can translate his
“Baji Prabhou” or “Perseus the Deliverer”. We can reach nowhere near the
original unless, as you told me once, “we reach the consciousness from where he
has written”, which is beyond our dreams. The stories are very nice; we tell
them in our own words and say that those who can should try to read the
original. On this plea you had sanctioned retelling them in “Purodha”. A
translation that tries to be faithful becomes very pedantic and loses all its
charm. All the translations available go to prove this.
Page
— 281
Considering the matter from this point of
view - let it be.
With
love and blessings.
4 February 1966
Mother,
I had planned to give “Stories from Sri Aurobindo” as we have
stories from the Upanishads or the Mahabharata, with the idea that your full
approval was there. X studies the original and writes it in Hindi; then I
retouch the whole thing. Now I fear that you did not like it very much. It is
difficult to withdraw because I have already announced your approval for the
plan. What to do? I am not happy about it.
It is quite all right. You can go ahead
happily about it! I like the idea as you put it.
All
depends on the spirit in which things are done.
Your
attitude is good so everything is all right.
I have been teaching some beautiful poems about Radha and Krishna.
Radha seems to be so living. The scholars of the modern age say that Radha is a
very recent addition to the Krishna cult. Can you tell me whether Radha existed
or not?
Surely she has lived and is still living.
Love
and blessings.
8 February 1966
Mother,
The political and economic situation in India is becoming more and
more ridiculous. Please save India from the Indians and make us worthy of your
grace.
Page
— 282
The Divine’s Grace is wonderful and
almighty.
And
the ways of working of the Lord are full of a delightful sense of humour…
Love
and blessings.
6 March 1966
Mother,
The Labour Inspector is coming to visit our Blanchisserie at 8:30
today. If we employ 20 men or more, we come under the Factory Law. We have 23.
Many or rather all wise men are advising me to declare only 19. But I believe
that an Ashram department must not give false declarations, so I am going to
declare the correct number. Am I right? Due to my declaration you will have to
pay for the provident fund, etc.
Certainly you cannot give a wrong figure -
but, is it not possible to really reduce the number of servants to 19?
21 March 1966
(The disciple could not decide upon a course of action because
different parts of his being put forth contradictory arguments, each of which
seemed correct. He asked the Mother what to do in this case. )
I am quite willing to answer - but once
more the answer will probably be bewildering…
In
fact all your different parts are correct in their argument, and the wisdom is
to go deep enough in the consciousness to find the place where they meet and agree,
completing one another rather than contradicting.
As
for the actual action, a smooth, harmonious working is generally better than
the difficulties created by too rigid principles…
Page
— 283
but that also is not absolute - and the
ideal condition is, at each occasion, to receive in the inner silence the
guidance from above.
With
constant practice and goodwill, it becomes possible.
With
love and blessings.
24 March 1966
Mother,
Our old workers, who are blamed for cooking badly, have asked time
and again for some more spices or more oil or such things. When I took up the
work in the Kitchen, some of them appealed to me. I asked them to keep quiet
because there was financial difficulty in the Ashram. But later, I thought I
should try to get them a little freedom in work. I spoke to Y and got more
spices and oil for them. Now your answer puts me in a doubt whether I have done
the right thing.
R, what is the matter with you? I always
considered you as one of the rare ones who could understand my jokes!…and now!
You take one evident joke so seriously!…I have nothing against your workers, on
the contrary; my plan was to wake up in them a new interest in the work and, on
the solid basis of an experience, to give what is necessary for an …eatable
cooking. I am sorry to have to explain everything in advance, in order to be
understood.
You
can say to the one who spoke to you that he will be given what is needed for
cooking, but that the whole thing needs to be reorganised and nothing lasting
can be done in a hurry.
Now,
if anything I said or did gave you the impression that I am not satisfied with
your work, I am very sorry for it because nothing of the kind is in my
consciousness. I know the circumstances are difficult and you do the best that
can be done -
Page
— 284
but everybody and everything can always progress and I am always
working in view of a possible improvement, knowing that the greatest difficulty
brings always the greatest victory.
And
I trust that you are with me for that.
With
love and blessings.
26 March 1966
(The disciple wrote about a disagreement with a Dining Room
worker. His letter ends:)
I am sorry I am writing in anger, but a distrust of this sort does
hurt and I do not conceal it.
There was no distrust and I am sorry you
took it that way. But now I tell you seriously (as you do not seem to
appreciate my jokes) that the best thing to do is to have an open, frank and
cordial talk with Z and tell him clearly the way you see for the problem to be
solved.
If
you both together come to a harmonious and effective solution I shall consider
it as a great victory…for me.
With
love and blessings.
2 April 1966
Mother,
You have asked me how my hand is. I don’t know what to say. Before
informing you about it, I had to call for your help for lifting even a tomato;
only with a constant remembrance of you, could I finish my work. But after
getting your blessings, I lifted several boxes of grapes, each weighing about
30 kilos, and I forgot to call you even once. From this you can decide which
condition is better!!
Page
— 285
This is one more proof that in your case,
the physical contact (this time in writing) is more effective than the purely
mental one.
Love
and blessings.
7 April 1966
Mother,
When I came here you gave me work in the Dining Room. Thus I was
working on the last Darshan day when one could make Pranams to Sri Aurobindo.
My work went up to 9:30, but my group had to go for Darshan at 9:00. Everyone
told me that I should leave the work and go, or I would miss Darshan. I did not
mind. I came after finishing my work and, lo, Sri Aurobindo was a little late
and my group began only after I had come.
Naturally!
When you called me upstairs
to do X’s work, you said that I would be avoiding many troubles if I concern
myself only with work and did not try to look at you each time that I saw you.
I have tried to follow that advice faithfully to the best of my capacity and it
has helped me very much. In the same way I did not look at Sri Aurobindo even
though I had to go several times towards his room. I always thought it was
sufficient that you can see me I need not see you. If you want me to change
this approach, surely I shall do so, to the extent you want. Life is a paradox,
isn’t it?
Your attitude is excellent and very
helpful for the work and also for you.
Page
— 286
So let us continue as it is.
With
love and blessings.
8 April 1966
Mother,
Now about the future arrangement for distributing milk during this
milk shortage. Instead of making any suggestion of my own, I would like to know
exactly what you want me to do. Who are to be regarded as children and in what
way is the extra milk to be given?
I consider as children all those below 15.
Up to 10 years old I would like them to have at least 2 full cups of milk per
day (of course, those who do not like milk are not at all asked to take it).
The
sick people, where recommended by a doctor, may have also if they wish. Apart
from that I leave it to your “wisdom”.
14 April 1966
Mother,
The glass case that used to remain on my terrace (the one used for
drying things) was thrown about two metres by the cyclone and all the glass is
broken. The storm had a special love for the Ashram and Pondicherry, it seems.
May be.
The
forces behind the cyclone were not hostile but full of a transforming power.
You did the right thing, and I can assure you that to go inward and to receive
the force is more helpful than to throw oneself into an agitated action.
Certainly “tamas” is not good, but it is only through surrender to the Divine
Page
— 287
Consciousness that tamas can be changed.
With
love and blessings.
6 May 1966
Mother,
The other day a man came to me asking whether he could give his
clothes for washing. I said, “You can give clothes only after staying here for
one year.” And immediately he pulled out a note with your approval!!
Before signing any demand, I am always}
asking if the person has been here for more than a year, and each time I am
told yes}. I have no way of control because I do not know who is coming and who
is admitted. I receive information only in very few cases. So the only thing to
do in this case is to refuse all signature except on a note coming from you.
Blessings.
17 May 1966
Mother,
A Gujarati couple who came to stay for one year at their own
expense are asking for free food. He works in the Bakery, she in the Kitchen.
He says that he is not getting the money from home that he had expected. In
work they are not bad.
They can have the food as long as they
work.
Some friends are advising that in “Purodha” I should give more
things by you and Sri Aurobindo about Sadhana. My idea is that if we have to
approach the youth, for whom this magazine is meant, we should not speak directly of Sadhana.
Page
— 288
We should attract their attention
towards the Ashram and your teachings and then let them read directly from your
books. As far as the value of our magazine is concerned, I think much more
depends upon the consciousness from which things are written than upon what is
written.
You are right.
2 July 1966
(The disciple explained that at the Dining Room there were two
different standards by which visitors paid for their food. His letter ends:)
They are actually charging Rs.2.50 per day for 26 days. There is
no uniformity. For the same thing different people give out different rates. X
says that they made the change with Y’s knowledge, but he does not seem to know
it. I asked Z to ask you for a clarification on this point, but…
This is very interesting but not
unexpected. Since I have “retired” each one seems to do according to his own
ideas without correlation with the others and - under the pretext of not
disturbing me - without consulting or even informing me!
Although
by my own means, I know more or less what is going on, I simply smile and do
not interfere. Each one must learn by experience.
I
am waiting for the day when order will conquer disorder and harmony be the
master of confusion. I am behind all effort in this direction.
Blessings.
6 July 1966
Page
— 289
Mother,
In a good many lives of Indian saints we read that with full trust
the man refused to eat till the Lord came in the human form and shared the
food, and that actually the Lord appeared, behaved just like a human being, and
ate. Is there any truth behind these stories?
A psychological truth because anybody can
become for you the Lord if so you decide. The subjective point of view is much
more widely prevailing than it is generally admitted.
23 July 1966
Mother,
I have been reading Sri Aurobindo’s “Love and Death”. Do such vast
regions of eternal night and sorrow as described there really exist? And do we
go there after death? They seem to be like hell, with all their sorrow, gloom,
darkness and the roaring rivers. Which part of the being goes there and why?
The vital world is mostly like that and
those who live exclusively in the physical and the vital go there after
death…But there is the Grace!…
2 August 1966
Mother,
About the vital world described in “Love and Death” you said that
“those who live exclusively in the physical and the vital go there after
death”. Does it follow that even animals and plants have to go there? How do
they manage to come out from there?
Page
— 290
Except for very rare cases, the animals
are not individualised and when they die they return to the spirit of the
species.
In “Love and Death” are Ruru and Priyumvada the first forms of
Savitri and Satyavan?
Sri Aurobindo told me nothing about that.
6 August 1966
Mother,
X is one of my students. She works hard but cannot retain
anything. She feels sorry, works again, but with the same result. Seeing her
effort I promoted her, although she is not fit for the eighth class. This year
it is the same thing. Her sister Y is clever but lazy. Several times I have had
to check myself from getting impatient. She is interested, but she rarely works
and hardly gets any result. How to deal with such cases?
Continue to be patient. It is some kind of
mental tamas: one day they will wake up.
6 August 1966
Mother,
Was the recent cyclone also brought by the transforming forces of
the Divine?
Nature is collaborating in her own way.
All is meant for the growth of a spontaneous sincerity.
Blessings.
7 November 1966
Page
— 291
Mother,
I write stories for my magazine. Now let me tell you a true story.
A gentleman came here. He claimed to be a poor man, though he is building a
four-storey house for himself and earns about Rs.1200 to 1600 per month. He wanted
to have your “special darshan” and you refused - it was so unkind. The poor man
then made up his mind that if you change your mind and see him, he will give
you Rs.10 and his wife will give Rs.15and still you did not meet him. It was
impossible for him to give Rs.100, as suggested by a friend, for the simple
reason that he did not have that much. When he went back, broken-hearted, he
was caught by the crowd of students in Andhra. He had to beg and plead for
mercy and by divine grace he could at once offer Rs.500 to get out of their
hands!!
The same story, with small differences in
the setting, could be told so many, many times!…
And
what about the stories of the efficiency of the Divine Grace? They are less in
number perhaps, but so much more comforting!…
Love
and blessings.
8 November 1966
Mother,
Z came to me last night. We had a very long talk about his work.
He seems to have gone with a calm satisfaction. If only I could work half as
well as I can speak on the subject! Alas, that does not happen. Sometimes I
fear that I am losing interest in work. Even in the work connected with fruits
I am not half as enthusiastic as I used to be. It may be that I am losing interest or getting old or learning to work without feverish
activity. You alone know.
Page
— 292
I see it as the advent of Wisdom leading
to true equality.
Blessings.
17 November 1966
Well, one thing is sure - with you I am
rich and receive some money. With most of the others I am poor and have debts.…
Blessings.
8 December 1966
Mother,
Since X has taken over the mill the flour is not good, so the
bread does not rise properly and it remains hard. But people are saying that I
have given orders to reduce the size of the bread for the sake of economy! X is
reported to have said that I am standing in his way, otherwise he would have
got control over the Bakery. As far as I know myself, I am not keen about being
a departmental head; I have had enough taste of it. At the same time I do not
want to run away from a task given to me. If I have to continue, please show me
some way of being more useful. If you have someone else in view, I won’t mind
in the least to step aside.
I wanted you to look after the money,
because it was the only way to be sure that the money would come to me.
But
the organisation of the working of that section can be given to others provided
they agree to collaborate.
I
ask you a little more time and patience and expect things to take a more
definite form.
Page
— 293
As
for the displeasure of people they always grumble and complain. We have not to
give it any importance.
1966
(The disciple wrote that he would look after the organisation of
the Bakery, Laundry and Dining Room, but could not keep their accounts since he
did not know book-keeping.)
I am very fond of proper organisation. If
those who organise want sincerely to do it, I require only clear and precise
information. When this is given and there is sufficient trust in the Organising
Power it is sufficient. The rest will be done.
Blessings.
About 1966
Mother,
You must appreciate the human capacity for calling troubles. I was
perfectly all right, in fine health. Then an idea came to me like a crow in the
sky: “You speak of divine protection; look at Y and Z - now sick - who are much
more useful than you.” I chased out the idea, but not before receiving a little
kick in the shape of a cold. But luckily the Protection does not care for my
stupidity.
It is not a question of usefulness. For
the Grace to have a perfect and total result of Its action, the faith must be
total and perfect. Where???
Love.
About 1966
Page
— 294
Mother,
One worker of the Bakery has gone and X is going on the 6th. We
need two persons there and one for the Dining Room.
I have no contact with people now and no
exterior means to find workers. The only hope is in the capacity of the
invisible Power!
Love
and blessings.
About 1966
Mother,
Y, who works with me, has given a sealed letter for you. Perhaps
he wants to import his children. Last year you had said that you will allow
them when the situation improves.
The situation has not improved, but if he
is a good worker, it is better to let him bring his family.
I
know the difficulty and am trying, but very few, now-a-days, are those who
sincerely want to work.
Whenever
I hear of somebody I immediately send him or her to you. But it does not seem
to be very effective!
Blessings.
1966
Mother,
A student of mine has written an essay where she says that we are
expected to have nothing to do with sex and yet each time we speak we must
remember sex so that we may not make a mistake in gender!
This is just a joke…or, a twist of the
mind and a clever way of
Page
— 295
refusing to understand what is truly meant
by the advice.
Blessings.
About 1966
Mother,
We received an oral assurance from the Government of India that
they would subscribe to 500 copies of Hindi “Purodha”. The official order got
delayed by 7 months. We have printed more copies for them and now they want
only 150!
I never thought of money all these years. Now I have to ask you
for more and more!!
What to do? On all sides it is like that.
It seems a new problem that has to be solved miraculously: to receive much
less, and yet to spend much more!
Love
and blessings.
About 1966
Mother,
Will any doctor believe that yesterday when I was writing my
letter to you the swelling of my groin was so big that I had difficulty in
walking. This morning when you received my letter, I began to feel that it was
shrinking. By the time I got your reply it was reduced to half. Now I can run!
The swelling of the foot also goes down in the same way, but neither goes away
completely. They reach a point where they are harmless and then the progress
stops.
This gives the exact measure of your
body’s receptivity. Concentrate the force on the diseased parts and they will
improve.
About 1966
Page
— 296
Ambitious plans generally fall flat. It is
better to go slow and steady.
Blessings.
About 1966
(In the following letter, the words “choice” and “abyss” refer to
the Mother’s New Year message of 1967: “Men, countries, continents! The choice
is imperative: Truth or the abyss.”)
Mother,
The choice was made long ago. There is no progress towards it. The
abyss seems to be gaping just in front, yet there is a confidence that it will
be removed from the way.
The confidence is quite legitimate. The
message is only for those who are still asleep and quite satisfied with their
sleep.
Blessings.
2 January 1967
Mother,
Z is asking me to write some Hindi articles on subjects like
meditation, work, surrender, etc. He says that I am the only one who can write
properly. I feel that it would be like a blind man leading the blind. Looking
at myself I wonder what I know that I can tell others.
Go on writing. How do you know if the
inspiration is not ready, waiting to come to you?
Love.
10 February 1967
Page
— 297
Mother,
For “Purodha” you asked me to write on subjects connected with
Sadhana, and the first article I have written is on meditation!! And yet once
you said that if I were to be punished I could be asked to meditate for half an
hour!
I never said that you were not capable of
writing on the subject!
Blessings.
8 March 1967
Mother,
I am having difficulty in writing for “Purodha”. I can very well
see the hollowness of what I write. The life is missing. And yet I have to
write because I have the responsibility of the monthly.
Call Sri Aurobindo to your help, and it
will be all right.
24 March 1967
Beware of what is repeated to you in my
name - the spirit in which it has been said is lost!
29 March 1967
Mother,
(After relating several problems:) What stories on a day like the
29th! Let me not get the contagion of bitterness.
When we get bitter we lose our Divine
contact and become very “bitterly” human…
Love
and blessings.
29 March 1967
Page
— 298
Mother,
I am not bitter for the simple reason that I am losing my sense of
responsibility (the words do not convey the proper sense). It is X who is
getting more and more bitter - even against you. He feels that soon all of us
whom he calls people of the old lot will be thrown out in a helpless condition.
I was praying that I may not get the infection.
All that happens is to teach us one and
the same lesson. Unless we get rid of our ego there is no peace either for
ourselves or for the others. And without ego the life becomes such a wonderful
marvel!…
Love.
30 March 1967
Mother,
Perhaps you know that our quota of sugar has been reduced. I would
like to have guidance from you about the new policy. If you like, I shall give
you the details of consumption.
I learnt that yesterday and can only tell
you: do for the best}.
If
you use sugar for me, stop it completely. It can be replaced by glucose if need
be.
I
suppose all these are to teach us to be plastic.
Love
and blessings.
13 April 1967
Mother,
You seem to think that you are a very big eater! If you stop sugar
it will save a lot! From 1951 or so I have not used sugar for you because you
had asked
Page
— 299
Page - 300
me not to do so. In the morning almond drink I use honey and in
the evening sugar-cane juice. If the pomegranate juice needs sweetening I use
sugar-cane juice.
I am very glad to hear that you are not
putting sugar in my drinks. I find them quite sweet enough as they are and
congratulate you for your remembrance of what I said - it is indeed an uncommon
fact!…
With
love and blessings.
14 April 1967
Mother,
In the context of your recent messages to the school emphasising
the future: As a language teacher I have been laying great stress on the
Ramayana and the songs of Kabir, Mira, etc. and the stories of the Upanishads
and the Mahabharata. Please tell me what to do. If I stop them as belonging to
the past, how to replace them? If I continue them, shall I not be going against
your current?
Not at all. It is the attitude that is
important.
Even in the lower classes I lay stress upon the stories of Indian
literature. We have no vision of the future and if we discard all these as
things of the past, then what will remain in the literature?
The past must be a spring-board towards the
future, not a chain preventing us from advancing.
As
I said - all depends on the attitude towards the past.
As I can see it, for myself the best thing would be to
Page
— 301
give up teaching and writing and go back to purely physical work
and wait for the advent. But that would mean finding fault with you, because it
is you who gave me these works against my apparent wishes.
And I continue to give you the work. If
you feel that a change is needed it can be in the attitude giving more
importance to what is to be said and realised and using the past as a
preparation for the future.
This
is not a very difficult thing to do - and I am quite sure that you will easily
do it.
With
love and blessings.
17 April 1967
(The disciple wrote that in the Dining Room kitchen many workers
were upset with the decisions of one of their supervisors. His letter ends:)
In such conditions please see that the work does not deteriorate.
The Kitchen has no good workers. It is one of the most neglected departments. I
hope something better will come out of all this conflict. I believe in
miracles.looseness-1
When human passions guide the work, I can
only stand apart as a witness. I am politely informed of what is decided -
never asked for what is to be done.
I
cannot give orders because if orders were disobeyed it would automatically lead
to a catastrophe.
So
there is nothing else to do than to wait patiently for the passions to cool
down and…hope for the best.
Perhaps
some people may wake up to the necessity of working hard…
With
love and blessings.
19 April 1967
Page
— 302
Mother,
On the last few occasions I have felt very tired after Darshan
work. During this period I do not do much physical work, I do not get nervous
or excited, and this time I did not feel the sense of personal responsibility
either. But I remain present all the time and at the end I feel dead tired. If
I have to work I feel all right, but the fatigue comes after that. Why? What to
do?
It is because you are receptive to the
Force when you work and that sustains you. But when you are not under the
strain of the work you are less receptive. You must learn to be receptive in
all circumstances and always — especially when you take rest — it must not be
the “rest” of inertia but a true rest of receptivity.
Blessings.
9 May 1967
Mother,
The Dining Room mats are very much torn. Before asking for new
ones, I would like to know whether we shall continue to have mats or go for
tables and stools on a large scale. At present we have two rooms with tables
and stools, the rest with mats.
There will always be people who like
better to sit on the floor. Ask for the mats.
11 May 1967
Mother,
Can you tell me how long it took you to plan this creation and who
was there to execute it?
Page
— 303
Nothing in advance. Everything immediate —
directly, spontaneously without any intermediary. The intervention of
intermediaries has mostly complicated matters rather than simplified them. A
rather long story to say.
Blessings.
13 May 1967
Mother,
Before 1947 you had said that India was suffering from something
like cancer: each limb was trying to grow at the cost of the others. We could
not see it at that time. Today all can see the cancer and even leprosy. But for
your presence the whole thing is dark as dark can be. Is a full destruction
needed before India fulfills her mission? Will it take a very long time?
When there is some work to do, the least
one speaks of it the better it is.
17 May 1967
Mother,
Y has long been friendly with me and now she is coming to me for
advice. Sometimes she feels very lonely and thinks of getting married.
Sometimes she feels that her place is in the Ashram and the other things are
useless. I never give her direct advice, but I would like to know whether she
is meant for this life and what line I should take when she comes with her
difficulty.
The fact of being here proves that there
is an aspiration somewhere
Page
— 304
in her being and with help the aspiration
can spread in the whole being.
With
love.
5 June 1967
(The disciple informed the Mother about a shortage of fruits and
sugar in the Ashram.)
Sugar is useful mostly for children, for
the others it can be replaced by something else.
Surely,
all this comes to teach us to have a quiet
faith that what is truly needed we
shall have and that, for the rest, we must not bother!
With
love and blessings.
15 June 1967
Mother,
Z is so keen to control the Dining Room. If you don’t mind, let
him take charge of it from December when you reorganise.
I do not see how it is possible for many
reasons that I cannot write here. I am not reorganising, I am simply adding a kitchen ¹because the number of
people has increased so much that to cook for such a big quantity at a time
becomes difficult.
Moreover
the food for the school children and the food for the Ashramites needs to be
somewhat different, as children need special food for growing.
26 June 1967
¹The Corner
House kitchen (and dining hall), for the students of the Ashram school.
Page
— 305
Mother,
Can you tell me why in Sri Aurobindo’s Ashram, in your presence,
everyone seems to think of food, physical culture and the doctor for keeping
good health? The Divine help may take a fourth place if it likes. It is
difficult, at present, for one to speak of your help. People seem to think that
by speaking of your help either one is trying to show off or is a fanatic.
Sri Aurobindo said that the physical was
to be taken into the yoga and not rejected or neglected. And almost all here
thought they were doing yoga in the physical and fell the prey of the physical
“needs” and desires…
To
speak frankly, I like better that mistake than that of the so-called ascetics
who are full of contempt, bad will and scornful feelings for the others.
No
time to say all that could be said on the subject.
But…the
criticising spirit is more destructive than many bad habits.
Blessings.
12 July 1967
Mother,
I never scorned my body nor did I adore it, although I have a
leaning towards asceticism. I was not criticising anyone yesterday.
My remark was not meant for you but a very
general statement.
But I feel sorry, angry or disgusted when people come to me
moaning about their health and tell me that they have done this and that, yet
there is no improvement. Then I can see from their face that they won’t trust
me if I ask them to have faith in you. They will think that
Page
— 306
I do not want to give more milk or fruit, so I tell these stories.
It is this that I find disappointing.
Why disappointing! If there is one in a
hundred who has a true faith, it is already a miracle!
I have been reading the autobiography of the present Dalai Lama.
Is there any truth in the legend of the Dalai Lama’s rebirth and discovery?
At one time I knew their legend, but now I
have forgotten it. So I can say nothing about it, except this general statement
— that man can imagine nothing that has not happened at least once; so there is
always a truth behind the statement. The mistake is to generalise and make a
rule of it.
Love
and blessings.
13 July 1967
Mother,
I have seen your messages about tests. I fully agree that
examinations are useless. Personally I have some questions. I teach a language.
I have to see whether my students have a grasp over the language. In one of my
classes I have replaced tests by essays. The result is satisfactory. But what
to do in such cases:
1. X— She has a good grasp of Hindi, but she is very careless,
does not work and is often absent.
2. Y — Very intelligent and capable, but she has always shirked
from work and tried to cheat me by her sweet and intelligent talk. I had to
give up.
3. Z — Very much interested, she can appreciate literature, but
she cannot write one sentence correctly.
There are others in the same category in various degrees in the
lower classes.
Page
— 307
Those who are insincere do not truly want
to learn but to get good marks or compliments from the teacher — they are not
interesting.
Is it possible for a teacher to know by his inner contact whether
the student knows the language well and can be promoted? W was wonderful in my
class for ten days in a year; on the rest of the days she was just a listener.
I always promoted her on the basis of the possibility expressed on those ten
days.
It is all right.
Naturally
the teacher has to test the student to know if he or she has learnt something
and has made a progress. But this test must be individual and adapted to each
student, not the same mechanical test for all of them. It must be a spontaneous
and unexpected test leaving no room for pretence and insincerity. Naturally
also, this is much more difficult for the teacher, but so much more living and
interesting also.
I
enjoyed your remarks about your students. They prove that you have an
individual relation with them — and that is essential for good teaching.
Blessings.
25 July 1967
Mother,
Feeling very unwell at night for the last three days. But as soon as
it is time when I can report to you, I am all right. Deep breath was always my
strong point. Due to fat it has become shallow and heaven knows what else!
If you want
to breathe properly you can.
The
time has come to rely only on the Divine Will and to let
it work FREELY through you.
Page
— 308
This
is the same answer as the one I wanted to send to you yesterday but I had no
time to write.
I
repeat — the time has come at last, not to rely any more on one’s own petty will,
to hand over the whole affair to the Divine’s Will and to let It do Its work
through you, not only through your mind and feelings, but mainly through the
body — and if you do it sincerely, all this body nonsense will disappear and
you will be strong and fit for your work.
Blessings.
28 July 1967
Mother,
It is very difficult to understand what exactly you want in the
field of education, but from what I can understand it seems that all we are
doing is pretty useless. Hindi poetic literature has some higher things, but
what are those heights in comparison to what you want? If we want to learn good
language and proper usage, we have to read stories and novels which are of a
very low type because they portray human life as it is.
The difficulty comes when I have to do what I know is not what you
want, and I have no courage to throw myself completely in your hands.
Your difficulty comes from the fact that
you have still the old belief that, in life, there are some high things and
some low things. It is not exact. It is not the things or activities that are
high or low, it is the consciousness of
the doer which is true or false.
If
you unite your consciousness with the Supreme Consciousness and manifest It,
all you think, feel or do becomes
luminous and true. It is not the subject of the teaching which is to be changed,
Page
— 309
it is the consciousness
with which you teach that must be enlightened.
Love
and blessings.
31 July 1967
Mother,
The Kitchen does not give water for drinking. It requires it only
for cooking. It is our bad luck that draws this comment about people falling
ill. Of course, our filters are not perfect, but that is another story. No
wonder that people blame us for everything.
I am blaming nothing, nor anybody and know
that each one does the best he can. It is evident that the job is very
difficult. But are we not here to conquer difficulties?
With
love.
23 August 1967
Mother,
I am giving in the October issue of “Purodha” your message: “At
the very moment when everything seems to go from bad to worse, it is then that
we must make a supreme act of faith and know that the Grace will never fail
us.” I do not quite understand “we must make a supreme act of faith”.
I mean act according to our inner
conviction regardless of all consequences and keep our faith unshaken in spite
of the apparent so-called proofs to the contrary.
28 August 1967
Mother,
Many people will come here in February for your
Page
— 310
ninetieth birthday. Statistics and calculations are being heaped
upon me, showing me all possible difficulties and yet I am almost blind towards
them. I think that in spite of all defects you will find a way, and things will
go smoothly. I feel that if I cannot have more and stronger contact with you in
my work, then it is useless to be a departmental head. An ordinary hotel
manager will do better.
Please give me whatever
is necessary for this occasion.
Statistics and calculations are purely
mental, and here all mental rules are
constantly contradicted by the working of the higher Force.
Your
inner reaction is mostly correct. But you cannot be convinced by it, because
for a long time it was mixed up with an ego reaction.
Now
the mixture is getting less and less. So it is to be hoped that next year it
will be totally overcome —and then things will be clear and simple for you…if
not for everybody.
With
love and blessings.
3 September 1967
(The disciple
wrote to the Mother about an Ashram school circular on the subject of
homework.)
This has come up after receiving many
letters from both parents and children complaining that because of homework the
children go to bed late and are very tired as they do not sleep enough.
I
know that all these complaints are exaggerated, but they are also the
indication that some progress must be done in the routine.
This
project has to be worked out in its details with plasticity and suppleness.
Page
— 311
I am not for treating all the children in
the same way, it makes a kind of uniform level, advantageous for those that are
backward, but detrimental to those who can rise above the common height.
Those
who want to work and learn must be encouraged but the energy of those who
dislike studies must be turned to another outlet.
Things
are to be arranged and organised. The details of execution will be fixed later
on.
Blessings.
26 September 1967
Mother,
Once a worker goes to the school he becomes “an important person”
and ignores work. I wish something could be done to remove that stigma from the
school. Teachers and students expect more concessions and conveniences. They
stick to the school to avoid work. And if they go for any work they do not give
their full and are not very helpful.
Or perhaps they are special beings¹ who have come for something
else and we expect the wrong things from them!
The greater beings are always the most
simple and modest.
Blessings.
2 October 1967
Mother,
I seek your guidance about promotion in the classes.…
X is very weak and irregular. If she wants she can do well, and since Y’s birthday celebration she has become more
intelligent. She was a star there.
¹Against
“special beings” the Mother wrote: “Not to my knowledge!”
Page
— 312
Intelligence and capacity of understanding
are surely more important than regularity in work. Steadiness may be acquired
later.
5
October 1967
Mother,
I give freedom to my students to say what they like. Sometimes they
write morbid things. Someone has written: “Youth is meant for enjoyment;
useless old fellows say we must work for the future, etc.” They know what is
the truth and yet they write such things. What attitude should I take? I do not
want them to say things to please me as some do.
You can tell them that if they do not
believe they can learn here something that is not taught elsewhere, they can
very well change school…we shall not miss them.
It
is better to have a selected few than a commonplace mass.
Blessings.
5 October 1967
Mother,
Last night I was reading what Sri Aurobindo has written about the
French Revolution. After this, one feels that all that we read, study or learn
is only a heap of falsehood, so why strive to attain that falsehood?
I suppose it is only as a gymnastic for
the mind!
Love
and blessings.
16 October 1967
Page
— 313
Mother,
I heard the programme
on the radio in which our boys took part. I think such programmes can be quite
useful. But I was not happy about the performance of our boys.
I do not know whether you
give any importance to what is called general knowledge. All four boys were
asked, “Who are the Arcot brothers?” None knew. They are very important people
in Madras in the field of education and politics. Their 81st birthday is being
celebrated and the papers are full of their pictures. The local people will
take it to mean that we do not take interest in the South and look down upon
them, as the D.M.K.¹ always says.
Sorry to say that I did not know myself
the existence of these very important people! Consequently I am convinced that
one can be wise without knowing them…
We
cannot give more importance to the south of India than to the rest of the world
— and upon earth there are so many very valuable people of whom we do not know
the existence!…
26 October 1967
Mother,
There is one Mahesh Yogi who has become very popular in Europe. He
started a Yoga University and now he is starting an international city —
evidently he copies you. He has made a graph of meditation. I send it to you.
It seems it is transcendental!
Everything and anything can be an
instrument for the Supreme Wisdom to prepare the earth in view of the new
creation!…
Blessings.
28 November 1967
¹A regional political party.
Page — 314
Mother,
I have been rather unwell for the last three or four days.
Diarrhoea and vomiting are the symptoms. Generally this happens when my mind is
upset, but this time it is not so.
Page
— 315
I did not eat for three days and I was all
right. Yesterday I took some food and again the problem has started. The real
reason must be somewhere else.
It is due to restlessness and agitation.
What is the matter?
Bring
down peace, the Divine Peace in your
stomach and it will be all right.
Love
and blessings.
2 December 1967
Mother,
I am not aware of any restlessness or agitation in me except
butterflies in the stomach sometimes. Rather for the last few days I have been
dull. Generally I call your peace and it never fails. This time there is a
strike! The call does not arise.
That is serious! Try to find out “why?”
2 December 1967
Mother,
I can’t say why I feel too dull to call you; that is for you to
reply. Such dull periods come after the bright periods when everything seems to
call you and be dedicated to you. In these dull periods, nothing but tamas
seems to rule. Generally they pass after a few days.
This is a proof that your whole being is
not unified around the central psychic Presence.
This
is a personal task that each individual must do for himself. The help is always
there but the effectivity of its action
Page
— 316
is in measure of the receptivity and the
conscious appeal.
After all, it is a question of patience in the
endeavour.
With
love and blessings.
3 December 1967
Mother,
Once again I slipped out of the Protection. This is rather bad. I
fell in the rain on the terrace between the fruit room and Z’s room. All the
glasses on the fruit-juice tray were broken. I escaped with a few bruises.
Perhaps it is a pointer towards lack of receptivity. You alone can cure it. Do
not leave it to my effort!
It is rather the other way round — be
passively confident; let me do it…and it is done. Since your last letter there
is a strong and almost constant concentration of Force upon you. Rightly
received, you ought to be quite all right.
Love
and blessings.
8 December 1967
Mother,
X, the Hindi poet who comes here often, writes that he is being
pressed to return the titles that he got from the Government of India; he has
received the Padma Bhushan award. In that case he will have to give up his
service also. This would be to protest against the language policy of the
Government. He wants your advice. What shall I tell him?
Why should he listen to threats? He must
act according to the inner command and
not according to public opinion.
Shall I give him the idea of Sanskrit as an all-India language?
Page
— 317
Yes.
Blessings.
29 December 1967
Mother,
A young man from Ludhiana — Y — has received a wire from his wife.
Someone is sick there. He has been asked to fly back. He wants your
instructions and blessings.
Is it very necessary? Generally these
calls are not quite sincere.
About 1967
Mother,
In the agreement we signed with the labourers of the
Blanchisserie, we merged their dearness allowance with their wages. All over
India labour is demanding this. But here, as we did it of our own accord, they
now want to change it. I have agreed, after Z explained the whole situation to
them, to do what they want — and they want what is less advantageous to them.
They cannot believe that we can do something that may be more advantageous to
them. How can one remove this distrust?
Can you make the blind see?
The
whole of humanity — with very few exceptions — distrusts the Divine and yet His
Grace is most active.
About 1967
Mother,
Just a question, if you care to answer it. The
Page
— 318
Ramayana says that when Rama saw that his work on the earth was
finished, he entered the river Sarayu along with his companions. One should not
judge an Avatar’s deeds, but this act looks like mass suicide and suicide is
regarded as the greatest sin. How to explain this?
1)
For the Supreme there is no sin.
2)
For the devotee there is no greater sin than to be far from the Lord.
3)
At the time when the Ramayana was conceived and written, the knowledge revealed
by Sri Aurobindo that the earth will be transformed into a divine world and an
abode of the Supreme was not known or accepted.
If
you consider these three points you will understand the legend (although it may
be that the actual facts were not as they have been told).
About 1967
Mother,
A common friend writes that Vinoba Bhave would like to know what
exactly Mother says about Sanskrit being the common national language of India.
I may add, do you expect the difficult grammar of Sanskrit to be
learnt by all? Will it be for common use or only for ceremonial purposes, like
Latin in England?
For common use I was thinking of a
simplified Sanskrit from the grammatical point of view. But of course, I do not
know if it is possible.
8 March 1968
Page
— 319
Mother,
Is it correct to prepare your drinks etc. when one is not well
mentally or physically? The mind gives well-balanced arguments on both sides.
If you stop preparing the drink I shall
have to go without it. If you prepare when you are unwell I have to work out
the difficulty. So the only remedy is to be all right when you prepare the
drink — it will be good for both of us…
Love
and blessings.
8 March 1968
Mother,
I have worked in the Dining Room for 30 years now. If you think it
would be better to have younger people for the pressing needs of the future, I
shall willingly step aside — I mean it.
In my work I did not plan at all. I left it to you and you never
failed me. Let this experience grow.
For the sake of the work, it is better if
you continue because you can call and feel me, rather than a youngster perhaps
full of unused energy but who believes that he is doing the work. There may be
some other good reasons for you to continue the work, like honesty and
sincerity, etc. but that need not be mentioned.
With
love and blessings.
15 March 1968
(The
disciple asked whether he should accept a fan offered to him, noting at the end
of the letter his ascetic tendency:)
I still have a shrinking from things of comfort.
Page
— 320
Shrinking is as bad as desire — so have
the fan and let the Divine’s will be done, for — after all — it is always His
will that prevails!
Love
and blessings.
15 April 1968
Mother,
In 1960 you had practically cured the filarial swelling of my
right leg and foot. About a week back the swelling of the leg came back with a
revenge. It is hot, there is tension, itching and sometimes pain. I have to
limp, the foot has become almost double in size.
There must have been a serious fall in
your faith; because the force is working in the same way (it has even often
proved to be stronger), but the more the faith is genuine the more the force is
effective.
X has sent me two workers. He told me that there is difficulty
about their accommodation, but the Press has got a house for its workers, so I
should give these workers to the Press and they will get accommodation.
Something in me revolts against this kind of idea; on the same analogy I can
say the Dining Room is feeding people so it must have all the workers.
Indeed for giving work two things are to
be considered, need on one side and capacity on the side of the workers; the
rest has the taste of diplomatic falsehood.
20 May 1968
Mother,
Several times you have told me about “a fall in my faith”.
Page
— 321
Truly I do not understand it. Sincerely I do not know
whether I have or do not have faith. It matters little whether my leg improves
or not; but let me have some faith.
To say the truth I do not care much about your
having or not believing you have faith, what I want is that you should be all
right and do your work happily. With you, concerning your body, I was
accustomed to a very remarkable receptivity and a rapid cure — that is the
cause of my remark.
It
is true that “we” are passing by a difficult period (“we” means the world) but
those who remain steady will get out of it much
stronger than before.
With
love and blessings.
21 May 1968
Mother,
Nobody except you will believe me when I say that yesterday my leg
was swollen up to the knee. It was hot and stiff, the foot was double the
normal size. Then I received your note. My eyes could see the swelling going
down. Every minute it was less and in a few minutes, the swelling remained only
up to the ankle and the lower portion was much better. In about half an hour it
was almost normal. After a few hours some swelling has come back. I am sure I
will not have to bother you again, it will go — no credit goes to my faith!
Bravo! This is right, the true thing and
must continue.
With
love and blessings.
22 May 1968
Page
— 322
Mother,
My newly trained teachers, X, Y and Z, are trying to do their work
properly, but I find that their classes lack life. They are dull. The whole class
seems to be asleep. How to bring life in their work?
In the playground activities we have competitions and prizes. In
the school have they been abolished?
The prizes belong to a rather low standard
of life — but if we are still there…
Do
it, if you find it necessary.
29 May 1968
Mother,
I get very tired when people come to me in connection with their
personal difficulties. I feel the fatigue when they are gone. I call you and recover
in about 5 to 10 minutes. Yesterday X came to me after a long time and narrated
all her family affairs. I was full of life but as soon as she left I felt
completely run down. My whole body was dead tired and even after 24 hours I
have not recovered.
Yes — it is because she takes without
giving anything. But a little concentration while calling me and it will be
over…
Love
and blessings.
27 June 1968
Mother,
You told me that whenever I am in need, your inner guidance will
be there. It does come, but often I cannot discriminate and take it as my own
opinion and so I do not press it. Only the result shows that I made a mistake.
Page
— 323
This is just the way of learning to
discriminate!
With
love and blessings.
5 March 1969
Mother,
According to a good many diners the quality of the Dining Room vegetable
has improved very much. The quantity of milk has also increased. Still, every
alternate day I am getting demands for vegetables, oil, spices, etc. and extra
milk. The demands are made in matter of course as a right. How to deal with
this? I give fruits freely when I have them.
Most of the people are simply greedy and their case deserves no
consideration. It is only if, because of health, their case deserves
consideration that you can be lenient.
Blessings.
16 May 1969
(Regarding a Hindi translation of The Life Divine)
What comes out from here must be a good translation, otherwise it is
impossible. It is not a question of persons or of feeling. The work must be
properly done, that is all.
17 June 1969
Mother,
Cases of apples from
Mountain Paradise are stuck up somewhere on the way.
The quantity of milk
has gone down very much. The situation may not improve for quite some time
because many of our cattle have died. Vegetables are also scarce due to lack of rain. And still, we are being asked not
to be miserly in giving.
Page
— 324
So we must have faith and endure.
With
love and blessings.
12 August 1969
Mother,
I was asked to write a
small book on the life of Sri Aurobindo. I was to get
Rs.1000 for it from the Government of India. I sent the manuscript. They have
suggested many changes: No mention of his message on Cripps’ proposals. (His
quotations about the Chinese invasion, Korea, etc. are allowed.) Brahmacharya is a taboo. No unprovable
things should be mentioned. I have refused to give them my book. Just for your
information.¹
But they will ask a book from somebody who
knows nothing about Sri Aurobindo and who will say a
lot of nonsense!…
What
to do?…
5 September 1969
Mother,
I am expecting Rs. 10,000 for the advertisements published in “Purodha” in the last few years. The first instalment of Rs. 500 has come. It wants to go to you.
I have two ideas about
using this money: (1) Deposit it and with the interest send free copies of “Purodha” to schools and libraries; (2) Not to care for the
future and use the whole amount for spreading the
¹The
Government of India subsequently accepted the disciple’s book and published it
without emendation.
Page
— 325
magazine up to the centenary so that your message may reach as
many people as possible with the amount. I am not able to take a decision.
Please advise.
I am not for getting interest on money. So
use it in another way as you think best.
Blessings.
5 September 1969
Mother,
I am in a fix. If someone gives Rs.125 to “Purodha”
he becomes a life-member. That money is deposited with Y in his firm and he
gives us Rs.14 every year as interest. Since you do not approve of taking
interest on money, what shall I do in this case? We have about 40 life-members
and recently we have been getting more. Also, “Purodha”
has some money in the bank on which we get interest. Please guide.
What I see is the world of tomorrow, but
the world of yesterday is still alive and will still live for some time. Let
the old arrangements go on so long as they are alive.
Upon
earth, the changes are slow to come.
Do
not worry — and keep hope for the future.
With
love and blessings.
6 September 1969
Mother,
I am rather disappointed
with my work in the school this year. I am trying to have the initiative come
from the students. I put dozens of proposals before them as to what we might do
and how we could do it.
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But I get absolutely no response, no initiative, no
proposals— as if I were speaking to a wall. Yet the students are good, friendly
and intelligent. Something must be missing in me that in spite of my best
effort I get no response. I feel like leaving the class. For the first time I
am having this experience. Yesterday I was on the point of saying that I am not
coming to the class any more. Something stopped me. Even in this class, if I
impose my will I get a good response.
Why should you not impose your will? It is
evidently more enlightened than theirs and has the right to lead them.
Of
course, it is out of the question for you to leave the class — but use your
will and make it advance.
With
love and blessings.
6 September 1969
Mother,
In 1919 Sri Aurobindo wrote that the chaos
and the calamities were perhaps the pangs of the birth of a new creation. How
long are these pangs going to continue — in the Ashram, in India and eventually
in the world?
It will continue until the world is ready
and willing to receive the new creation; the consciousness of this new creation
is already at work upon earth since the beginning of this year.
If,
instead of resisting, the people were collaborating, it would go quicker.
But
stupidity and ignorance are very obstinate.
Love
and blessings.
29 September 1969
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Mother,
X, Y and Z will be the partners in this project to construct a
factory named Auro-steel. They will invest various
sums of money. How should the profits be distributed? In proportion to their
investment or some other way? X’s will be the biggest share. All told it
needs Rs.2 lakhs.
They do not seem to know that in Auroville after all expenses are paid, including their own
maintenance, the profits go to the town.
Blessings.
17 October 1969
Mother,
I am not very happy about “Purodha”. It
is still very much based upon the past and cannot see its way in the future.
The future is necessarily better than the
past. We have only to push forward.
Love
and blessings.
17 January 1970
Mother,
Your note about reading newspapers ¹was shown to me yesterday. Now
tell me personally for myself. I have been reading regularly since I was 13. If
you say that I have to stop reading them, I can.
¹“If you
want to know what is really happening in the world, you should not read
newspapers of any sort, for they are full of lies.
“To read a
newspaper is to take part in the greatest collective falsehoods.”
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Not necessary to stop. You must have got
the discrimination.
4 February 1970 Mother
,
Before I begin to think that it is a fabrication of my mind, let
me tell you that just before Darshan I had a boil of
the size of a table-tennis ball in a very awkward place on the buttock.
Movement had become difficult. Before sleeping I told you, “This won’t do. If
this remains I will have to remain in bed during the Darshan
week.” I am not sure whether it is possible, but in the morning the boil had
moved about 3 inches away from the awkward spot, giving me full freedom of
movement; in a day or two it burst and now it is dried up. I still wonder
whether actually the boil could move in this way.
Anything may happen. It is only our
“logical” minds which put limitations. I must congratulate your body for its
receptivity.
With
love and blessings.
25 February 1970
Mother,
Before coming here I was very eager to learn German, but I could
not get an opportunity. Now an opportunity has come knocking at my door. I am
not keen. If it is useful for me, I shall learn; otherwise not. Tell me what to
do.
If the opportunity came it means that it
can be useful.
Love
and blessings.
23 March 1970
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— 329
Mother,
A college student who seems to be eager to come out of the
ordinary life has been writing to me often. He writes very frankly. He says that
he tries to meditate on your photograph, but recently he has begun to feel a
strong boy-and-girl-like attraction for you. He wants my advice.
It may be that the photo is an ancient
one. He must take one of the latest photographs.
Otherwise
he must pull up the sensation and offer it in the heart centre.
Blessings.
21 April 1970
Mother,
A fear is arising in me. From my childhood up to the time of
coming here, I had an ambition for being a leader amongst men and I tried to
prepare myself for that. When I came here, it was washed off. The other day X
and Y forcibly took me to their youth conference and compelled me to speak.
They say that I spoke well and they have decided that whenever they have a
conference here I will have to speak. I am afraid that the old ambition may
come back in a new form and bloat my ego. Please save me from becoming another
Z.
You are safe. You have only to remember as
I do, that it is always Sri Aurobindo that speaks
whenever we try to say something sensible.
With
my love and blessings.
2 June 1970
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— 330
Mother,
I was taken to Auroville a few weeks
back. I was very happy to see the people working there. Here were the people
against whom we hear all sorts of bad reports. They were busy with hard labour.
Not many of us can do so much. You know that it is not easy to satisfy me with
work, but I was truly happy.
I am very happy with what you write and
fully agree. So all is well.
With
love and blessings.
23 June 1970
Mother,
Some of my sincere workers are asking me whether they should join
Sri Aurobindo’s Action. I have told them that they
are a part of Mother’s action. They need not leave this and run after that.
Quite right.
With
love and blessings.
25 June 1970
Mother,
In “Purodha” half the pages are devoted
to translations of your and Sri Aurobindo’s writing.
In the rest there are other subjects including stories based on some aspect of
your teachings. You told me that what I wrote was not important, it is the consciousness
from which I wrote that was more important. Now some friends are telling me
that I must fall in line with Sri Aurobindo’s Action.
I do not understand what it means. What line would you like me to take for “Agni”, the new magazine for young
people? Would you suggest any change in “Purodha” in
view of Sri Aurobindo’s Action?
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— 331
No change — it is quite all right.
As
for “Agni” — children must be taught that life can be beautiful.
With
love and blessings.
17 July 1970
Hindi is good only for those who belong to
a Hindi speaking province. Sanscrit is good for all
Indians.
About 1970
(Wrongly
informed that Sri Aurobindo favoured
Hindi as the
national language of India, the disciple
asked the Mother on what basis she had
written: “The
Sanskrit ought to be the national language of India.”)
I said Sanscrit
because Sri Aurobindo had told me so.
Blessings.
About 1971
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— 332
Mother,
A regular campaign goes on against the Dining Room. This complaint
is coming from the same quarters again and again. I will be happy to retire in
favour of somebody who may be acceptable to my critics so that you may not be
bothered again and again.
Without you I will have bothers all
the time. So for my sake, it is
better if you continue your work.
With
love and blessings.
4 May 1971
(The disciple wrote about two persons closely connected in work
who were bitter towards each other.)
All bitterness in life always comes from
the ego refusing to abdicate.
Blessings.
Undated
Mother,
May I know what is more convenient for you: if I have some
business with you, should I speak to you in person or write to you?
You can always speak to me and it may be
more convenient, because if I have any question to put, I can put it at once
and the problem can be solved at once.
(The disciple then explained his difference of opinion with a
co-worker)
Useless to say that you and X are both
right (or wrong); it is
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— 333
two aspects of the question and other
points of view can be adopted too.
The
only thing to keep in mind is that nobody is completely right or completely
wrong and decisions cannot be taken favouring this or that point of view.
Let
each one do his best according to what he thinks or feels to be the best
and…the Divine Consciousness will manage the results.
Blessings.
Undated
My dear child,
It
is much easier to clear your head than to let you quit. In fact the second
alternative is perfectly impossible. I need you here and have no intention to
let you go. To say the truth, I consider that to abandon the responsibility and
the work I have given you would be much
more unfaithful than to have some unpleasant (but fugitive) reactions
because of inevitable fluctuations in certain details of the work.
Take
the whole disturbance in you more as the result of an attack (the test) of some
adverse force than of minor changes in the organisation of the work.
I
feel that you are already out of the confusion, but I send you this so that no
trace even of it should be left…
With
love and blessings.
Undated
Do not mind the apparent contradictions.
There is a Truth to be found behind.
Undated
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— 334
Cheer up, all will be all right, if we
know how to last and endure.
Love
and blessings.
Undated
A happy cat sketched by the Mother
to cheer up her unhappy disciple
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— 335