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19 FEBRUARY 20 MARCH 1916
February 1916
In the interval since August there has been a period of long torpor and inertia followed by a period of more steady advance. Samata chatusthaya is complete as well as the positive bhukti; only touches of asamata now occur, chiefly in the form of mo- mentary depression though touches of uneasiness also sometimes but rarely occur. For the most part samata, shanti, are untouched, sukham occasionally, hasyam is sometimes clouded, but not seri- ously or positively. The viryam is complete, except in touches of a-shaurya; only nyunata, not positive defect of contradiction is manifest in the other elements. Tertiary dasyam is complete & firmly established, but not always forceful. Shakti is deficient in the body, in the rest com- plete, but not forceful, and sometimes touched. Aishwaryabhava and sraddha (swashaktyam) are improved, but not yet firm, except for the sraddha in yoga-siddhi, minus shârira. There is no sraddha in adesh-siddhi. Brahma chatusthaya is now complete, constant in Sarvam, Anantam, Jnanam; established but not always intense in Anandam. The Person is manifest in all, but not always vividly and there is still a divorce between the individual & the All in personality, no longer in the impersonality. Sharira makes no evident progress, except in the frequency of the Anandas; kama and tivra especially are established, but not always operative. Jnana is firm, as also telepathy except that of thought; trikal- drishti and tapas-siddhi are drawing towards a first initial per- fection; the instruments are developed, but not frequently active; 910 Samadhi is slowly developing a firm basis in swapna, but has been thrown back in Jagrat. —
Feb [Saturday Feb 19th] Bath fixed first after 11, then at 11.20, (the intellect tried to fix 11); actually at 11.19. The exact time was fixed about half an hour before fulfilment, the approximate time about an hour before. == The tapas-siddhi has been steadily increasing in general force. The rule of resistance is no longer so absolute. Very often the ex- act movement is fulfilled again and again without resistance or with a minimum of resistance; but where the object is station- ary at first, there is usually resistance. Eg. a squirrel on opposite ledge, suggested to mount on parapet, afterwards perceived that it was not to be at that spot (A), but might be farther on (B); seen that it would go on to the turn of the ledge; went on beyond to the end whence it attempted to descend. Stopped by will which suggested and trikaldrishti affirmed that it should mount the para- pet suddenly; was compelled to do so by arrival of crow. This movement was twice willed, foreseen and fulfilled. Afterwards it went near position A, on the ledge, then frightened by a crow on the other side, fled to B exact and mounted in accordance with the original suggestion. This example and many others show that trikaldrishti and tapas, so long enemies, are beginning to unite and coalesce. == S's [Saurin's] return seen at either 9.15 or 9.30. The intellect first leaned to the latter, but after willing for the former, the ideality approved 9.15 (by the watch, by the right time 9.24), although the intellect still doubted. S came at 9.16. == In the evening two drishtis of a watch pointing to 11.50 and 2.57; the first indicated by the thought as the time at which S. would come upstairs tonight, the second connected with teatime tomorrow. S came at nearly 11.40 by the watch which must have been about 11.50 by the right time 911 Sunday— S rose in the afternoon at 2.55 by the watch (right time 3.16) and went to make tea a minute afterwards; this agrees with the watch-dristi 2.57 last night: there is a minute's difference which may be due to wrong observation, since the watch-rupa was diminutive & the exact minute could be only approximately given. It is to be noted, however, that the two drishtis seem to have referred to different time-pieces. == Aishwarya increased in force. Formerly the object of the will would execute four or five evolutions & then escape entirely from the will-force. Today after the first escape it only deviated for a mo- ment & that in obedience to a previous suggestion not maintained and subsequently still obeyed others, though not so perfectly as in the first five or six evolutions.
Sunday. Feb. [20] It is noticeable that [there]1 are now no longer long gaps of time in which a brief play of tapas and trikaldrishti gives place to confusion of knowledge and entire barrenness of effectivity in the will. The telepathic knowledge is always active and increases marvellously in correctness, although it is still troubled by a certain amount of false stress and false distribution but very much less than formerly; trikaldrishti is constantly active although it does not yet securely lead, but it is becoming frequent and active. Tapas sometimes fails entirely for a few minutes, afterwards it rights enough. It always produces some effect slight or great, immediate or subsequent, in the object willed or other object not willed, perceptible in act or only just perceptible in tendency: but accurate result is now becoming frequent, though not yet continu- ously active. All this however, does not entirely apply outside the field of ordinary exercise of the will & knowledge. Rupa in jagrat is growing, but slowly and with relapses, not
1 MS they 912 into long suspension as formerly, but into inferior activity. The vishayas are yet very rudimentary; gandha is the most advanced.
Tuesday 22d February Final confirmation of satyam of telepathy, followed by a great confusion of ritam owing to the insurgence of the mental and pranic environing suggestions. The precise place of these was, however, made clearer by the experience. — The Krishnadarshana (personal) generalised firmly in all ex- istences, a little defective in animals. This darshana formerly de- pended on strong perception of the Ananda Brahman coupled with strong perception of the Lilamaya. It is now automatic, even when Ananda Brahman is depressed and sense of Lila not prominent. Only the invariability & intensity have now to be confirmed and the perfect union of Krishnakali bhava and the now complete Brahma chatusthaya will be founded. — The right interpretation of lipi and the lekha (sortilege) is now automatic. == The swapnasamadhi has now definitely advanced. Formerly the drishya there was evanescent, disappearing as soon as manifest, or else permanent only so long as the waking mind in sleep did not turn its eye upon the thing seen and it was only watched by the dream mind above. Now drishyas are common which remain before the swapna-jagrat eye long firm and constant in the sthana though not for very long in the karma. Transient drishyas are also more frequently lifelike & not shadowy. Lipi is more frequently coherent.
Thursday 24th The vijnana overpowered for two days is returning to activity. Meal fixed by trikaldrishti after 12 and bath with some hesita- tion at 11.55. (fixed about 11.) Bath at 11.55 (called at 11.54) and dinner at 12.5 to 12.10. Trikaldrishti (apara) continually justified in movements of birds etc. 913 Development of a powerful self-fulfilling force which is sure beforehand of its result, yet is not trikaldrishti, but still fulfils ir- resistibly; only it is only in general movements & does not apply victoriously in sthana or exact circumstance, but only in kala. It is not knowledge but sasraddha shakti—not the doubtfully effective rajasic tapastya but true tapatya. This however does not come at will. Lipi. perfection of delight.
Friday. Two strong telepathies in the evening 1. Bh. [Bharati] will not come, combated by a weaker tele- pathic suggestion of coming. Bh did not come, as he does daily 2. At 9.18 (by watch) strong suggestion that S [Saurin] would come immediately, combated by suggestion of mind trying to fix 9.30. Assurance that it was before 9.30 and indeed immediate. Mind compromised saying "Now probably, but at least before 9.30". S came at 9.20. Constant growth of firm-founded general satya in the telepa- thy, trying to convert itself to ritam.
Saturday. Satya of telepathy becomes more & more ritam; general satya of trikaldrishti preparing. Growth of the more intense Vishayananda of the mind in all the objects of sense. Growth of Krishna Kali bhava in the Brahma darshana
Thursday March 2 In the evening telepathic trikaldrishti that N [Nolini] will come soon after 8.30, M [Moni] soon after 9.0, S [Saurin] soon after 9.30. N came at 8.35, M at 9.8, S at 9.35. The approximate time after was also correct. 914 Friday. March 3 The telepathic trikaldrishti has now an element of certainty in general results distinguishing it from the mere telepathy; the latter also tries to represent itself as trikaldrishti, but is not accepted as before without the certainty. All the siddhis are going through evolutions of recoil and ad- vance. Firm and strong sama ananda is secure except in the case of strong and massed baffling of siddhi. Hasyam is beginning to take a stronger hold on the system. Time of bath given correctly as after 12. and then as 12.10. (first mistaken for dinner-time); ready at 12.10, called at 12.11
Sunday March 5 The Krishna-consciousness is now perfectly normal and uni- versal, though not as yet seated on the plane of the Vijnana or Ananda, but only on the mental. Smarana is still necessary, though not invariably. The dividing line between the Nara and Narottama is removed. General Satyam of trikaldrishti is adding itself to satyam of telepa- thy in the immediate time, place and event; ritam is as yet only in its initial stage. All siddhi, except in the first chatusthaya, is subject to tempo- rary denial in its later acquisitions. == Instances of immediate or exact fulfilment of tapas begin to become more normal; eg, a kite near the window pursued by crow; knowledge-will that crow should strike three times rapidly, then fly away; immediately & exactly fulfilled. Crow on bar under bal- cony opposite; willed to go one side, then return, then fly away from a particular spot; first two fulfilled immediately, the last after hesitating and moving several times to one side and another.
[Here one page left blank.] 915 Tuesday. Mar [7]2 The satyam of thought, telepathy and trikaldrishti is attempt- ing to arrange itself in the terms of the ritam, but as yet only succeeds occasionally in the type. There is the old struggle between the intellectuality to keep the truth for itself & become intuitive mind of the intelligence and the ideality to replace the intellectuality and establish the pure intuitive mind or the vijnana itself. For the present the intellectuality prevails; but tends to lose its hold of both satyam and ritam in the struggle.
Wednesday. March [8]3 The Krishnadarshana is again subject to fluctuations. It has descended into the Anantam & the Jnanam; but the Chidghana is now more normally informed & encompassed by the Ananda and perceives the Narottama in the Nara. Sometimes however it is more Anantam than Jnanam and then sees merely the Nara with only an implicit Ananda and the Chidghana prayas. All is now being turned into Ananda in the mind & body. The old reactions returned for a long time in the morning, but were forced to be anandamaya, as are all discomfortable sensations in the body. Nor can they now disturb the calm of the being, but only suspend the hasyam with a minor contradiction of the sukham making itself an ananda of asukham & ashivam.
Monday. Mar. [13]4 वाड्मनःकर्मभिः पत्यौ व्यभिचारो यथा न मे(स्यात् )-तथा विश्र्वंभरा देवी = Aditi, अनंताभेदमयी चिच्छक्तिः तस्या एवांतः दातुं-
A new brihattwa, deepening, intensifying and unification of
2 MS 6 From this point until the entry for "Monday. 19th March" the days of the week do not agree with the days of the month in the calendar for 1916. The days of the week appear to be correct, as many of the days of the month were added afterwards in a different ink.— Ed. 3 MS 7 4 MS 12 916 Titiksha, Udasinata & Nati with each other and all three with unified rasa, bhoga & ananda. Intense chidghana is moving up into shuddhananda & the sense of a faery beauty in all things, even the most ugly. The downward movement of pure shuddhananda embracing chidghana and ahaituka is suspended. Sakama premananda and saprema ka- mananda are being unified, more firmly generalised & normalised. After several days cessation the trikaldrishti is being again worked over, for a more positive satyam. The first movement is a greater certainty of the final result, but this is still by suggestion to the intellect or in the intellect. The difficulty is still to distinguish always, though it can now generally be done, the ideal suggestion from the intellectual certainty which cannot be securely trusted. There is also an attempt to fix ritam of detail; this is still done in the old way, by unillumined suggestion to the intellect. Eg re the bath; fixed as after 11.30. Times fixed 11.35, 11.30 for unknown stages, 11.38 for being called to bathe: then 11.30 was fixed for S [Saurin] getting up from under the tap, 11.35 for M's [Moni's] finishing the actual bathing. 11.38 & 11.30 came out exactly to the second, but there was some doubt about 11.35 as the exact time was not noticed. At 11.353/4 M had left the tap and was drying himself. Usually tapas is eventually successful in the immediate environment—but the tapas is no longer personally used; it comes of itself. Since yesterday script and vangmaya are constantly in the type of vijnana with prakasha, asu and ananda, and Vani, less securely, in the type of pure ananda containing vijnana. Reference carries with it a great clearness, appositeness and sure fulfilment. == Sometimes there is wrong application or combination of time and circumstance. Eg. 7.8 was given and taken as the time when Bh. [Bharati] would come; but at 7.8., the servant went out, Bh. came at 7.27. Afterwards indeed 7.25 or thereabouts was given, but it was thought by the intellect Bh would not come, although the ideality had given its decision that he would. 917 10.5 given by rupa of watch; decided to be time at which dinner would be finished, for it was already foretold that S would come early (he came about 9.15); when the watch was seen two or three minutes after finishing dinner, it was exactly 10.5. == 9.40 and 7.50 given by rupa of watch.
Tuesday [14]5 March 9.40 doubly fulfilled, in the morning as the time when work on Veda (Bengali) was resumed (unforeseen), in the night as time of meal (foreseen), the first exact, the latter probably approximate, the watch not being immediately consulted—
Friday [17]6 March After a crisis of anrita of intellectuality in which the unrelia- bility of intellectual suggestions was insisted upon, there being no means of detecting whether they are ideal or merely telepathic, the Yogasiddhi is resumed on other lines. Krishnadarshana fluctuates again for more confirmed normal- ity of what has already been gained. Rupa is slowly developing, but still without stability of perfect forms; samadhi fluctuates. Samata is not yet entirely immune, but hasya has become en- tirely normal. Asamata is now usually anandamaya and only caused by strong nonfulfilment of yogasiddhi. In the second chatusthaya, the only positive fluctuation is in sraddha and ishwarabhava and in the externalities of dehashakti.
Sunday. [19]7 March In fixing time of Bh's coming two suggestions came 7.45 and 7.55. At 7.44 the servant went; at 7.55. Bh came.
5 MS 13 6 MS 16 7 MS 18 918 Note— Only these exact correspondences of time are at present being recorded; the numerous fulfilled telepathies, trikaldrishtis etc which occur each day are not [set]8 down.
Monday. [20th]9 March Known by telepathy & telepathic trikaldrishti that Bh [Bharati] would not come; still 7.30 suggested—nothing external happened, only the beginning of an internal movement. 8.20 suggested for N's [Nolini's] coming. N came at 8.20 exact (by the watch) Telepathy that N. would not come to read Greek; justified. Will for S [Saurin] & M [Moni] to come at 9: they came at 9.3.
8 MS sent 9 MS 19th |