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12 21 DECEMBER 1913
Dec 12th. The developments of the Yoga from the 1st to the 12th have been noted on separate sheets; this interruption is a concession to the transitional disturbances that result from the constant and almost unintermitting siege of the world-environment. In future it is intended to disregard the siege in its results, merely noting its recurrence, except where its results are positive & produced in the yet unestablished movements of the siddhi. The faith in the eventual Yogasiddhi can no longer be interrupted; for, even when the opposite suggestion is made & supported by the rationally irrational intellect of infinite possibility, the unfaith is rejected & thrown back into its proper element. The faith in the rapidity of the Yogasiddhi is also positive in its substance, except with regard to saundaryam & karma, but varies in its intensity and incidence. Only the faith in the Adeshasiddhi is still in the inchoate condition. The transfer of the perceptive & determinative intellectuality to the ideal plane has been violently & artificially retarded for the last two or three days by rushes of cloud & confusion, by a con- stant hammering of apparent refutation & ill-result at the sraddha. Nevertheless it is still being steadily pursued under all difficulties and is now about to be extended to the movements of tapas & tejas, which like the prakasha, must be made entirely satyam & ritam in the brihat. In the prakasha it is the perceptions of actuality & especially of determinative event in the actuality which are the remaining centre of deficiency and their imperfection is intimately connected with the common action of asatya tejas & asatya tapas in the Will powers & Will-states. Chitra & samadhi, obstinately obstructed, progress with a hampered slowness which cannot yet convert itself into rapidity. Arogya struggles towards finality; kamananda grows &
343 persists, stimulating from time to time other anandas; utthapana has definitely entered on its final uninterrupted progression; saundaryam alone remains ineffective & uneffected. Karmasiddhi awaits the faith in the Adeshasiddhi. Kamananda throughout the day was active, insistent except for intervals of forcible obstruction, recurrent when not continuous; but in the sitting or lying position, estopped for the time in the erect or in ambulation. The siege was allowed to prevail in the evening so far as tem- porarily to interrupt the faith & knowledge & produce old & long discontinued movements. Utthapana throughout the day was unsuccessful. Akasharupa is still in the same condition, manifesting, but unable to possess & hold the Akash, an intruder & not a resident. Arogya still struggles, on the whole with a qualified success, against the fragmentarily recurrent or persistently recurrent denials of arogya. These denials are fragmentarily recurrent in the phlegm, cough & neuralgia (& in itch except one spot,) & unable to fasten on the body, persistent, without itch, in the eruption, persistently recurrent in the slighter ailments of the digestion. The tendency of urination has been much reduced during the last three or four days.
Dec 13th The siege has, today, been lifted, but the full vijnana is not yet manifest. At present the siddhis of power are being allowed to manifest through the Bhuvar tapas or the Swar-tapas on the objectivity. Manifesting through the Bhuvar tapas the Will tends to produce powerfully immediate results & more intermittently, often by indirect means & after much tergiversation, final results; manifesting through the Swar tapas it fastens more often on general than on particular effectualities or seizes only on the general effect & some of the effectuating movements. When the pure Chittapas manifests in vijnanabuddhi & manasbuddhi, there is a more consis- tent simultaneous & sometimes identical knowledge & effectuality, but the manasabuddhi is constitutionally averse or unable to hold for a long time the continuous activity of the Chittapas. When this Power is thus active through vijnanabuddhi & manasabuddhi,
344 the knowledge also tends to lapse back from the ideality to these organs. It is now especially at home in vijnanabuddhi, where it perceives all or most of the forces at work, the possibilities, many of the immediate actualities & sometimes the eventual actuality. The movement is now towards a levelling up of the siddhis of Power & siddhis of knowledge. Script & vani have been made manifest to the mind in such a way that the real script & real vani can be distinguished from their secondary reproductions & from false simulations. Egoistic activity has been once more expelled and driven back into the world-environment. The Jiva is now only a secondary ishwara, bhokta, bharta & jnata receiving all things as a centre of enjoyment & lordship for the Purushottama. Kamananda is once more active in the erect position and dur- ing movement of the body, but intermittently, not with continuity. There is an initial movement towards its recovered action at night and in samadhi. Trikaldrishti of telepathy has once more manifested; it has two movements, one purely receptive, in which the movements past, present & future of an object reach the mind, but there is no active knowledge or discrimination of their actuality & relations till after the event, and a second both receptive & discriminative in which the future eventuality is correctly known before the event. In both cases but especially the first any tapasic stress on the intention, tendency, thought or impulse of the object as indicative of the eventual movement, leads to error; the same is true, if there is any attempt to infer intellectually the result from past or present data. Self-active non-telepathic trikaldrishti is at present more of the skylight than of the direct variety. This is not, however, always the case. The just telepathy of thought which has hitherto been very poor in range and uncertain, is now in frequent play, eg in watching cardplay to know the idea in the mind of the player, but it has not yet its full exactness, only a general truth. It is showing itself from the beginning to be more reliable than the words & signs of the thinker, from which often false inferences are drawn. Right interpretation of lipi and rupa are also prevailing over the intellectual, imaginative and speculative interpretations.
345 The tapas has greatly increased in effectiveness without being yet master of the akasha In the afternoon there was a relapse to intellectuality and inef- fectiveness with a lowering of the Mahakali tapas. The system took refuge in subjective inertia. The animal form which for a long time was excluded from the Chitra, is now of frequent occurrence and a rich perfection & variety, though not as yet on a level with the human form & the landscape. The separate inanimate object and groups of objects have also begun to manifest. The tapas is working on the Akasharupa, but it still fails to hold the physical ether; nevertheless it tends towards a more lingering transience than its former entirely fugitive display. Shabda & other drishtis are still very rare & poor in range &, usually, in force. Tivrananda is acquiring intensity in its sukshma touches. Utthapana of the left arm, horizontal position, commenced while recumbent on the right side, was visited at once with a vi- olent pain of ananima; after some minutes changed to the sitting position & walking, the ananima diminished, & the utthapana was maintained with increasing force for an hour & a half, but the an- anima finally returned & terminated it. The right arm continued for an hour; then ananima grew suddenly upon it. It is noticeable that when held out rigidly, the ananima takes the form of strong muscular pain in the shoulder muscle; when held easily & slightly crooked, the ananima comes after a long time & takes the form rather of uneasiness. In both cases there is no pull of gravitation from below, the laghima of the arms being perfect, but a pressure of gravity from above, oppressing the mahima through ananima. Utthapana of the back persisted for nearly 5 minutes with intervals of varying pressure & growing urdhwagati. Other utthapanas were unsuccessful. In the afternoon & evening the vijnana was again successfully clouded. It is noticeable that the trikaldrishti of exact time is grow- ing in frequency, eg the return of B. [Bijoy] the other day at 7.55, the return of N [Nolini] & Br. [Biren] today by 7.
346 Dec 14. Sunday. There is a growing strength of Samadhi; shabda & sparsha returned & were combined with rupa & action; distinct & coher- ent lipis occurred; the actions seen were more prolonged and better organised. The organisation however, as well as the prolongation, is still rudimentary. Kamananda was this time successfully established in the night, but is only occasional in sleep or samadhi. The body is still unable to maintain it with perfect continuity; although the relapse is now a habit forcibly maintained, and not at all a neces- sary relief or respite. Akasharupa maintains the same character of persistent pressure on the Akasha without possession or any real stability. Arogya in the digestive faculties seems now to be tending away from the struggle between health & the petty fragments of digestive ailments (for nausea, constipation[,] diarrhoea etc have for some time been absent from the system except in touches of looseness, obstruction, nauseative tendency) to the old struggle between ab- normal assimilation of food & normal or abnormal waste. For the last two days waste has been abnormal. Waste has to become subnormal without disturbing the digestive processes. Kamananda is now fixed, either recurrent or continuous, in all states except that of sleep & samadhi. Sukshma tivrananda is rapidly devel- oping ubiquity & intensity. All the sahaituka physical anandas are now constant in the body, except vaidyuta which is yet rare and occasional. Ahaituka tivrananda is now becoming spontaneous although usually with some aid from smarana. The subjective anandas, although well-established, are liable to clouding especially by the loss of the sense of beauty in the adaptation of form to guna. If the Brahman is seen in the guna of a face that is mean or ugly, the meanness or ugliness becomes itself beautiful to the inner eye & through the inner eye to the outer vision; but, this failing, the shuddha & premanandas fail by temporary loss of the chidghana. Premananda is also attacked by old sanskaras of relation & non-relation. Normally, however, chidghana, ahaituka & suddha are permanently manifest; prema is there usually in the priti, not so commonly in the bhoga. Arrangement of lipi has been well-established both in chitra
347 and akasha. The struggle now is between the slowly growing inten- sity & vividness of the letters & the old tendency to vagueness, dimness & illegibility. This intensity & vividness was formerly perfect, but exceptional, it is now imperfect, but tends to be nor- mal. The lipi is usually intelligible even when imperfectly legible, but its interpretation by the ideality is often obstructed; eg the lipi Pyrotechnics on the Kart[t]ik Purnima. Owing to the mind's ignorance of the fact that it was Karttik Purnima or that here it is usual to have fireworks on that tithi, the lipi remained unintel- ligible in its main purpose until the evening when the fireworks began. Utthapana of the right leg, medial position, for half an hour with but slight ananima, discontinued owing to deficiency of established laghima and mahima. Subsequently utthapana of the back attempted without success, owing partly to commencement with the medial position, attempted again and successful[ly] main- tained for 15 minutes; increasing laghima & mahima made the utthapana easier & easier, instead of its becoming more difficult by long continuance, and at the end only a slight dull pain of ananima in the hips and vepathu survived out of the first strong asiddhi. The back was then lowered to the medial position & could have been maintained owing to strong laghima, but there was violent vepathu; the utthapana was discontinued owing to an external occurrence, otherwise it might have been maintained for an indefinitely longer period. This is the first time utthapana of the back has been established. Confusion of the first & second chatusthaya, due to confusion of the third, again occurred. The difficulty in distinguishing the Personality of the Master of the Yoga, owing to the interference of inferior personalities, is now a main cause of unfaith & discontent. In the afternoon the confusion was cleared from the first & second chatusthaya, though still left in the third, in order that there might be no farther premature demand & therefore reaction of disappointment & discontent; the main agent in the clearance has been the final subtle but perfect distinction in the vivek between the supreme vani & script (not yet active) & the minor, secondary & immediately active & directive vani & script which are henceforth
348 leading the siddhi forward. A similar distinction is being made but not yet perfected between ideal & un-ideal stresses of tapas & prakasha. At the same time the final transfer of the remnants of intellectuality to the ideal plane through the vijnana buddhi has begun to be completed. Dasya is on the verge of fullness, the ego remaining only in the sakshi and in some emotional remnants; the rest of the individual being lives now a secondary life as a conscious becoming of the one Being. Raudrananda, ahaituka & sukshma (materialised), has for some time been established in the system; vishayananda today has received similar rights in the physical body & vaidyuta is beginning to be regularised, although at present it is more often negative than positive. The five sharira anandas now usually occur together, involved in the main bliss-touch or explicit & accompanying it; this concomitance, however, is not invariable. Premananda is once more generally active & in individual touches intense. Subjective vishayananda is shaking off its occasional obscurations. Sraddha has once more been firmly established even for the sceptical intellectuality in the whole range of the siddhi except karma; there the sraddha is still [not] vijnanamaya & questioned by the surviving intellectual activities. The sraddha of rapidity is not yet similarly extensive. During the evening & night there was a cessation of the sid- dhi; the vijnana, the Mahakali tapas etc were kept in abeyance, the kamananda suspended. Only samata & the fullness of the first chatusthaya, especially of anandamaya nati remained. The intellect attempted to be active in trikaldrishti, but was almost invariably [convicted]1 of error, false stress, false understanding. Rheum tried to materialise.
Dec 15 The final condition of yesterday was continued in the morning with some modification; receptive telepathy was allowed to recover its activity & a sort of vijnanamaya thought-perception allowed. The object seems to be to stamp on the manasa parts of the being 1 MS committed
349 the realisation that all is intended, even what is most adverse & least understood, as a step in the siddhi, all brought about by the Master of existence, even when seeming to be brought about by inimical Powers, & all therefore to be received with submission. This state of realisation, however, can only be final if it persists when the Mahakali tapas is active. The Ananda of cold is being increased by repeated & contin- ued exposure to cold wind with the bare body. Only an almost subliminal part of the nervous system persists in the sanskara of discomfort & the reaction of rheum in the nose. This rheum just succeeds, so far, in materialising itself, but is unable to lay hold on the system. The discomfort of exposure to solar heat is also sinking down towards the subliminal Prakriti. Kamananda today, though intense at times, was much inter- rupted. Akasha rupa & samadhi steadily increase.
Dec 16 The condition of the last two days has fulfilled its purpose of establishing firmly the anandamaya nati; all adverse move- ments are now recognised throughout the whole nature as the divine will and accepted with negative, when not with positive, ananda; their purpose is perceived or, when not perceived, taken for granted. Disappointment & despondency, when they offer themselves, are immediately or almost immediately rejected. These conditions persist even though the Mahakali tapas has been re- manifested even though with small intensity. The Mahasaraswati nature with the Mahakali tapas has accepted entirely the full dasya. Faith is now imposed on the intellect even in the saundarya- siddhi as the result of two or three slight but noticeable effects of the will on the body which establish in type the possibility &, to the reason arguing from experience, the divine intention of the siddhi. Only faith in karmasiddhi is still wanting in the intellectual parts of the general (non-personal) nature. The vijnana is [ ]2 transforming all thought & perception into the type of the vijnanabuddhi. 2 MS being
350 Utthapana of the neck for half an hour in raised & medial positions. After twenty minutes the inferior position, without sup- port for the back, was attempted, but brought on strong pain of ananima. The utthapana of the leg was abandoned after ten min- utes owing to unsatisfactory nature of the laghima and mahima, although it could have been continued longer. The full force of the Mahakali tapas & personality was allowed to take possession of the adhara in the evening, but as usual brought on activity of the lower tapas and reaction.
Dec 17 Telepathy confirmed afresh today, but under circumstances which brought on a brief attack of the intellectuality. The transfer of the intellectuality in its remnants to the ideality, the regularisation of the higher ideality and the extension of the vijnana continued. The greater force of Mahakali tapas is being attempted & persisted in in spite of untoward results. Vividness & legibility of lipi is becoming more common. Akasha rupa of the vivid kinds usually now dwells a little in the akasha & often before the eyes before vanishing, but not yet long enough to constitute stability. Kamananda is persistent & often intense, but interrupted & seldom continuous. Health in all its parts is striving to get rid of the recurrent touches of fragmentary roga & where the recurrence is persistent & prolonged to reduce it to the fragmentary condition.
Dec 18. The result of the last three days' movement has been to transfer all the movements of mind normally to the ideality, to establish the truth (satyam) of all telepathies & arrange for the ritam, to increase the strength of the telepathic trikaldrishti & justify all movements of tejas & tapas as satyam, but not as ritam. The ritam is especially uncertain in essential trikaldrishti & this uncertainty leads to frequent relapse and an occasional & fragmentary play of the intellect. Power is greatly increased & always produces some kind of effect, even often the exact effect, but owing to the surviv- ing strength of the resistance fails often of its specific purpose, is insufficient in finality and, even producing specific & final effects,
351 does it with effort, waverings in the object, variations from the settled arrangement. This is the case even in the field of experiment & in the karma of life these defects are much more pronounced; there also the trikaldrishti is still rudimentary. As a result sraddha in the karmasiddhi has failed to establish itself. There is faith in the rapidity of the vijnanasiddhi, especially now that the rupa & samadhi grow with an increasing pressure on the objective akash & the physical system; faith in the physical siddhi, but not a settled faith in its rapidity; no faith, except the ideal sraddha, in the most important part of the karmasiddhi on which all the rest depends. Utthapana of the neck raised & medial position, with support for the back, one hour; the last half way with pressure of ananima on the muscles of the neck. Utthapana of the left leg, horizontal, side position, fifteen minutes, with stress of ananima on the sinew kept out by the Will. Crisis due to the attempt of the Shakti to raise the siddhi from the ideality of the vijnanabuddhi with subordinate action of manasa ketu, to the vijnana with subordinate action of the manasabuddhi.
Dec. 19 A confused condition of the vijnanabuddhi, in which there is sometimes action of the vijnana with reaction of the vijnanabuddhi, sometimes of the vijnanabuddhi with reaction of the manasa per- ception, sometimes the old action of the unillumined or confusedly illumined intellect, sometimes a mixture of these three functions. The attempt at finality of perfect samata & Mahakali tapas has failed once more. The sraddha established is once more interrupted and only fitfully recurrent. The combination of the ananda, samata & knowledge with the effective Mahakali tapas in the Mahakali-Mahasaraswati person- ality was again effected, but the Mahasaraswati element predomi- nates & the stronger movements of the tapas are only occasionally active. Sraddha in the kriti is wanting, & sraddha in the rapidity has been modified. Health & final effectiveness are being successfully resisted. Utthapana of the neck for one hour. After forty minutes the
352 ananima, till then apparent only as muscular sanskara or reminis- cence became suddenly violent & effective & could only be resisted by physical means.
Dec 20 Abandonment of personal tapas and lipsa. Unprecedented strength of dasya, udasinata, sometimes with vairagya, sometimes with positive ananda of samata. Kamananda active
Dec 21. Sunday. Another struggle to reinforce the combination of the first two chatusthayas, of passivity and tapas. The third chatusthaya began to reemerge from the successful siege of the manas tattwa. Samadhi was especially powerful, combining the more important drishtis, rupa, shabda, sparsha, karma, especially in groups of human be- ings speaking & acting & brief but perfect continuity of action was manifested. All the other elements of vijnana recommenced, but against a siege & in a cloud of mental perceptions. Exact trikaldrishti even manifested, but pursued by doubt & speculation & a disturbance of the view of right arrangement. Nevertheless one of the most powerful attacks of asiddhi has been overcome & defeated & finality definitely arrived at in the first chatusthaya. |