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O Lord, Thou showerest upon me all Thy boons. Now that this being expects nothing, desires nothing from life any longer, life brings it its most precious treasures, those coveted by all men. In all the domains of my individual being Thou showerest Thy boons, in the mind, the psychic and even the physical. Thou hast placed me amidst abundance, and abundance seems to me as natural as scarcity and does not bring me a greater joy, for often in poverty the spiritual life was more intense and conscious for me; but I see this abundance very clearly, and my individual being on whom Thou heapest Thy boons thus, prostrates itself before Thee in inexpressible gratitude. Thy goodness is unequalled and Thy mercy infinite. Page - 340
Love is nothing but the tie that binds and holds together all the flowers of Thy divine bouquet. It is an unobtrusive role, modest, unrecognised, a role essentially impersonal, which can find all its utility only in this very impersonality. Because I am becoming more and more this tie, this link of union gathering the scattered fragments of Thy consciousness and enabling them, by grouping them together, to reconstitute better and better Thy consciousness, at once single and multiple, it was possible for me to see clearly what love is in the play of universal forces, what its place and mission; it is not an end in itself but it is Thy supreme means. Active, everywhere, between all things, everywhere it is veiled by the very things it unites, which, though feeling its effect, are sometimes not even aware of its presence. O Lord, Thy sweetness has entered my soul and Thou hast filled all my being with joy. And in this joy I have offered Thee a prayer so that it may reach up to Thee. Page - 341
Thou hast filled my being with an ineffable peace and unequalled repose... Without any personal thought or will, I let myself be cradled passively by Thy infinity. Page - 342
Thou hast made my heart and mind fall silent; but no voice has arisen from the depths of this silence. Peace alone has reigned, a sweet and beneficent guest. Page - 343
Dost Thou then want to teach me that every effort that has my own being as its aim will be useless and vain? That action alone which has as its motive the radiating of Thy Grace is accomplished with ease and success. When the will acts in the external life, it is powerful and effective; when it attempts to practise going inwards, it is without force or effect.... So all action undertaken for personal progress becomes more and more unfruitful, and consequently rarer and rarer. On the other hand, all outer action seems to gain in effectivity what the inner has lost. Thus, O Lord, Thou takest the instrument as it is, and if it has to be refined, that will come in the course of the work. Page - 344
...“May all who are unhappy become happy, may the wicked become good, may the sick become healthy!” Thus was formulated the aspiration within me concerning the manifestation of Thy divine Love through this instrument. It was like a request, a request a child makes to its father with the certitude that it will be granted. For the certitude was in me when I asked: it seemed to me so simple and easy; I felt so clearly in myself how it was possible. To grow from joy to joy, from beauty to beauty, is this not more natural and also more fruitful than always to suffer and toil in an ignorant struggle unwillingly undergone? If Thou allowest the heart to blossom freely at the touch of Thy divine Love, this transformation is easy and comes of itself. Wilt Thou not grant this, O Lord, as a pledge of Thy mercy? It is with the confidence of a child that my heart implores Thee this evening. Page - 345
And the hours pass, fading away like unlived dreams.... Page - 346
Thou didst fill my being with so complete, so intense a love and beauty and joy that it seemed impossible to me that this would not be communicated. It was like a glowing hearth whence the breath of thought wafted far many sparks which, entering the secrecy of men's hearts, kindled other similar fires, fires of Thy divine Love, O Lord, that Love which impels and draws all human beings irresistibly to Thee. O my sweet Lord, grant that this may not be only a vision of my enrapt consciousness, but indeed a reality, effectively transforming all beings and things. Grant that this love, this beauty and joy which flood all my being that is hardly strong enough to bear their intensity, may also flood the consciousness of all those I have seen, all those I have thought of and all those also whom I have never thought of or seen... Grant that all may awake to the consciousness of Thy infinite Bliss! O my sweet Lord, fill their hearts with joy, love and beauty. Page - 347
O radiant Love who fillest all my being and makest it festive, art Thou received, art Thou given? Nobody can say, for Thou receivest Thy own self and givest Thyself to Thyself, being sovereignly active and receptive, at once in all things, in every being. Page - 348
In the world of forms a violation of Beauty is as great a fault as a violation of Truth in the world of ideas. For Beauty is the worship Nature offers to the supreme Master of the universe; Beauty is the divine language in forms. And a consciousness of the Divine which is not translated externally by an understanding and expression of Beauty would be an incomplete consciousness. But true Beauty is as difficult to discover, to understand and above all to live as any other expression of the Divine; this discovery and expression exacts as much impersonality and renunciation of egoism as that of Truth or Bliss. Pure Beauty is universal and one must be universal to see and recognise it. O Lord of Beauty, how many faults I have committed against Thee, how many do I still commit.... Give me the perfect understanding of Thy Law so that I may not again fail to keep it. Love would be incomplete without Thee, Thou art one of its most perfect ornaments, Thou art one of its most harmonious smiles. At times I have misunderstood Thy role, but in the depths of my heart I have always loved Thee; and the most arbitrary and radical doctrines could not extinguish the fire of worship which, from my childhood, I had vowed to Thee. Thou art not at all what a vain people think Thee to be, Thou art not at all attached exclusively to this or that form of life: it is possible to awaken Thee and Page - 349 make Thee shine in every form; but for that one must have discovered Thy secret.... O Lord of Beauty, give me the perfect understanding of Thy Law, so that I may no longer fail to keep it, so that Thou mayst become in me the harmonious consummation of the Lord of Love. Page - 350 (Communication in dialogue received during meditation)
...“Look: thou seest the living form and the three inanimate images. The living one is clad in violet, the other three are made of dust, but cleansed and purified. It is in the calm of silence that the living form can, by penetrating the other three, unite them in order to transform them into a living and acting vesture.”
O Lord, Thou knowest that I am surrendered to Thee and that my being adheres with a peaceful and deep joy to all that Thou givest it.
“I know thy adherence, but I would increase thy consciousness, and for that awaken what still sleeps within thee. Open thy eyes to the light, and in the limpid mirror of the mind will be reflected what thou shouldst know.”
Lord, all is silent within my being and waits....
“Knock at the door of consciousness and the door will be opened to thee.” Page - 351 The river runs limpid and silvery; its unbroken flow descends from the sky to the earth. But what dost Thou want to say to me that I must understand?
“Thy silence is not yet deep enough: something stirs within thy mind.... “The fire of the soul must be seen through the veils of the manifestation; but these veils must be clear and distinct like words traced upon a luminous screen. And all this should be preserved in the purity of thy heart, as the sown meadow is shrouded and protected under the snow. “Now that thou hast sown the seeds in the field and traced the signs on the screen, thou mayst return to thy calm silence, thou mayst go back to thy calm retreat to renew thy strength in a deeper and truer consciousness. Thou canst forget thy own person and find again the charm of the universal. “May peace be upon thee in these hours of repose; but do not forget the reveille which will sound soon. “Thou wilt smile yet at thy destiny which speaks to thee. “Thy heart will use the returning strength. “Thou shalt be the woodcutter who ties the bundle of firewood. “Thou shalt be the great swan with outspread wings which purifies the sight with its pearly whiteness and warms all hearts with its white down. Page - 352 “Thou wilt lead them all to their supreme destiny. “Thou hast seen the hearth and seen the child. One attracted the other: both were happy; one because it burned, the other because it was warm. “Thou seest it in thy heart, this triumphant hearth; thou alone canst carry it without its being destructive. If others touched it, they would be consumed. Do not let them come too near it. The child should know that it must not touch the dazzling flame which attracts it so much. From far it warms it and illumines its heart; too close, it would reduce it to ashes. “One alone may dwell fearlessly within this heart; for he is the ray that has indeed kindled it. He is the salamander ever reborn in the fire. “Another is above, unafraid of being burnt: it is the immaculate phoenix, the bird come from the sky who knows how to return to it. “The first is the Power of realisation. “The other is the Light. “And the third the sovereign Consciousness.”
O Lord, I listen to Thee and lie prostrate at Thy feet: Thou hast opened the door to me; Thou hast opened my eyes, and a little of the night has been illumined.... Page - 353
*There is a sovereign royalty in taking no thought for oneself. To have needs is to assert a weakness; to claim something proves that we lack what we claim. To desire is to be impotent; it is to recognise our limitations and confess our incapacity to overcome them. If only from the point of view of a legitimate pride, man should be noble enough to renounce desire. How humiliating to ask something for oneself from life or from the Supreme Consciousness which animates it! How humiliating for us, how ignorant an offence against Her! For all is within our reach, only the egoistic limits of our being prevent us from enjoying the whole universe as completely and concretely as we possess our own body and its immediate surroundings.* Such too should be our attitude towards the means of action. O Thou who dwellest in my heart and directest all by Thy supreme Will, Thou hast told me a year ago to burn all my bridges and cast myself headlong into the Unknown, as did Caesar when he crossed the Rubicon: it meant the Capitol for him or the Tarpeian Rock. Thou didst hide then from my eyes the result of the action. Now still Thou keepest it secret; and yet Thou knowest that my equanimity remains the same before greatness as before misery. Thou hast willed that for me the future should be uncertain and that I should go forward with confidence without even knowing where the road would lead. Page - 354 Thou hast willed that I should put the care of my destiny utterly in Thy hands, and abdicate altogether all personal preoccupation. This means undoubtedly that my road must be virgin even to my own thought. Page - 355
Each time that a heart leaps at the touch of Thy divine breath, a little more beauty seems to be born upon the Earth, the air is embalmed with a sweet perfume, all becomes more friendly. How great is Thy power, O Lord of all existences, that an atom of Thy joy is sufficient to efface so much darkness, so many sorrows and a single ray of Thy glory can light up thus the dullest pebble, illumine the blackest consciousness! Thou hast heaped Thy favours upon me, Thou hast unveiled to me many secrets, Thou hast made me taste many unexpected and unhoped for joys, but no grace of Thine can be equal to this Thou grantest to me when a heart leaps at the touch of Thy divine breath. At these blessed hours all earth sings a hymn of gladness, the grasses shudder with pleasure, the air is vibrant with light, the trees lift towards heaven their most ardent prayer, the chant of the birds becomes a canticle, the waves of the sea billow with love, the smile of children tells of the infinite and the souls of men appear in their eyes. Tell me, wilt Thou grant me the marvellous power to give birth to this dawn in expectant hearts, to awaken the consciousness of men to Thy sublime presence, and in this bare and sorrowful world awaken a little of Thy true Paradise? What happiness, what riches, what terrestrial powers can equal this wonderful gift! O Lord, never have I implored Thee in vain, for Page - 356 that which speaks to Thee is Thyself in me. Drop by drop Thou allowest to fall in a fertilising rain the living and redeeming flame of Thy almighty love. When these drops of eternal light descend softly on our world of obscure ignorance, one would say a rain upon earth of golden stars one by one from a sombre firmament. All kneels in mute devotion before this ever-renewed miracle. Page - 357
Thou hast shown to my mute and expectant soul all the splendour of fairy landscapes: trees at festival and lonely paths that seem to scale the sky. But of my destiny Thou didst not speak to me. Must it be so veiled from me?... Once more, everywhere I see cherry trees; Thou hast put a magical power in these flowers: they seem to speak of Thy sole Presence; they bring with them the smile of the Divine. My body is at rest and my soul blossoms in light: what kind of a charm hast Thou put into these trees in flower? O Japan, it is thy festive adorning, expression of thy goodwill, it is thy purest offering, the pledge of thy fidelity; it is thy way of saying that thou dost mirror the sky. And now here is a magnificent country, of high mountains all covered with pines and richly tilled valleys. And the little pink roses this Chinese brings, are they a promise of the near future? Page - 358
A deep concentration seized on me, and I perceived that I was identifying myself with a single cherry-blossom, then through it with all cherry-blossoms, and, as I descended deeper in the consciousness, following a stream of bluish force, I became suddenly the cherry-tree itself, stretching towards the sky like so many arms its innumerable branches laden with their sacrifice of flowers. Then I heard distinctly this sentence: “Thus hast thou made thyself one with the soul of the cherry-trees and so thou canst take note that it is the Divine who makes the offering of this flower-prayer to heaven.” When I had written it, all was effaced; but now the blood of the cherry-tree flows in my veins and with it flows an incomparable peace and force. What difference is there between the human body and the body of a tree? In truth, there is none: the consciousness which animates them is identically the same. Then the cherry-tree whispered in my ear: “It is in the cherry-blossom that lies the remedy for the disorders of the spring.” Page - 359
Once the threshold of the kingdom of Thy Omniscience has been crossed, each time there is a return to the mental world, every thought one has there seems a marvellous and unfathomable problem one had never dreamed of before. Above, no question is put; in that calm silence all is known from all eternity. Below, all is new, unknown, unexpected. And the two meeting in one single consciousness bring a trustful wondering, source of Peace and Light and Joy. Page - 360
My heart has fallen asleep down to the very depths of my being.... The whole earth is in a stir and agitation of perpetual change; all life enjoys and suffers, strives, struggles, conquers, is destroyed and formed again. My heart has fallen asleep down to the very depths of my being.... In all these innumerable and manifold elements, I am the Will that moves, the Thought that acts, the Force that realises, the Matter that is put in motion. My heart has fallen asleep down to the very depths of my being.... No more personal limits, no more individual action, no longer any separative concentration creating conflict, nothing but a single and infinite Oneness. My heart has fallen asleep down to the very depths of my being.... Page -361
O my divine Master, who hast appeared to me this night in all Thy radiant splendour, Thou canst in an instant make this being perfectly pure, luminous, translucid, conscious. Thou canst liberate it from its last dark spots, free it from its last preferences. Thou canst... but hast Thou not done this tonight when it was penetrated with Thy divine effluence and Thy ineffable light? It may be... for in me is a superhuman strength made all of calm and immensity. Grant that from this summit I may not fall; grant that peace may for ever reign as the master of my being, not only in my depths of which it has long been the sovereign but in the least of my external activities, in the smallest recesses of my heart and of my action. I salute Thee, O Lord, deliverer of beings! “Lo! here are flowers and benedictions! here is the smile of divine Love! It is without preferences and without repulsions. It streams out towards all in a generous flow and never takes back its marvellous gifts!” Her arms outstretched in a gesture of ecstasy, the Eternal Mother pours upon the world the unceasing dew of Her purest love! Page - 362 Akakura: July 13, 1917
One day I wrote: “My heart has fallen asleep down to the very depths of my being.” Merely asleep? I cannot believe it. I think it is completely hushed, perhaps for ever. From sleep one awakes, from this quietness there is no falling back. And since that day I have not observed any relapse. In place of something very intensely concentrated which for a long while was intermittently tumultuous, has come an immensity so vast and calm and untroubled, filling my being; or rather my being has melted into that; for how could that which is limitless be contained in a form? And these great mountains with their serene contours which I see from my window, range after majestic range up to the very horizon, are in perfect harmony with the rhythm of this being, filled with an infinite peace. Lord, couldst Thou have taken possession of Thy kingdom? Or rather of this part of the kingdom, for the body is still obscure and ignorant, slow to respond, without plasticity. Will it be purified one day like the rest? And will Thy victory then be total? It matters little. This instrument is what Thou wantest it to be and its bliss is unalloyed. Page -363 Tokio: September 24, 1917 *
Thou hast subjected me to a hard discipline; rung after rung, I have climbed the ladder which leads to Thee and, at the summit of the ascent, Thou hast made me taste the perfect joy of identity with Thee. Then, obedient to Thy command, rung after rung, I have descended to outer activities and external states of consciousness, re-entering into contact with these worlds that I left to discover Thee. And now that I have come back to the bottom of the ladder, all is so dull, so mediocre, so neutral, in me and around me, that I understand no more.... What is it then that Thou awaitest from me, and to what use that slow long preparation, if all is to end in a result to which the majority of human beings attain without being subjected to any discipline? How is it possible that having seen all that I have seen, experienced all that I have experienced, after I have been led up even to the most sacred sanctuary of Thy knowledge and communion with Thee, Thou hast made of me so utterly common an instrument in such ordinary circumstances? In truth, O Lord, Thy ends are unfathomable and pass my understanding.... Why, when Thou hast placed in my heart the pure diamond of Thy perfect Felicity, sufferest Thou its surface to reflect the shadows which come from outside and so leave unsuspected and, it would seem, ineffective the treasure of Peace Thou hast granted me? Truly all this is a mystery and confounds my understanding. Page -364 Why, when Thou hast given me this great inner silence, sufferest Thou the tongue to be so active and the thought to be occupied with things so futile? Why?... I could go on questioning indefinitely and, to all likelihood, always in vain.... I have only to bow to Thy decree and accept my condition without uttering a word. I am now only a spectator who watches the dragon of the world unrolling its coils without end. Page -365
Lord, how many times, giving way before Thy decree, I have prayed to Thee: “Spare me this calvary of earthly consciousness; let me merge in Thy supreme unity.” But my prayer is faint-hearted, I know, for it remains unfruitful. Page - 366
I have cried to Thee in my despair, O Lord, and Thou hast answered my call. I have no right to complain of the circumstances of my existence; are they not consonant with what I am? Because Thou ledst me to the threshold of Thy splendour and gavest me the joy of Thy harmony, I thought I had reached the goal: but, in truth, Thou hast regarded Thy instrument in the perfect clarity of Thy light and plunged it back into the crucible of the world that it may be melted anew and purified. In these hours of an extreme and anguished aspiration I see, I feel myself drawn by Thee with a dizzy rapidity along the road of transformation and my whole being vibrates to a conscious contact with the Infinite. It is so that Thou givest me patience and the strength to surmount this new ordeal. Page -367
O Lord, because in an hour of cruel distress I said in the sincerity of my faith: “Thy Will be done”, Thou camest garbed in Thy raiment of glory. At Thy feet I prostrated myself, on Thy breast I found my refuge. Thou hast filled my being with Thy divine light and flooded it with Thy bliss. Thou hast reaffirmed Thy alliance and assured me of Thy constant presence. Thou art the sure friend who never fails, the Power, the Support, the Guide. Thou art the Light which scatters darkness, the Conqueror who assures the victory. Since Thou art there, all has become clear. Agni is rekindled in my fortified heart, and his splendour shines out and sets aglow the atmosphere and purifies it.... My love for Thee, compressed so long, has leaped forth again, powerful, sovereign, irresistible--increased tenfold by the ordeal it has undergone. It has found strength in its seclusion, the strength to emerge to the surface of the being, impose itself as master on the entire consciousness, absorb everything in its overflowing stream.... Thou hast said to me: “I have returned to leave thee no more.” And, my forehead on the soil, I have received Thy promise. Page - 368 |