May 21, 1964
(From Satprem to Sujata)
St-Pierre
This morning I have received your letter of the 16th and am surprised that I paid you a visit because, on my part, I didn't see you - still nothing, complete blackout. This too disgusts me - I really
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don't know what I am doing ... probably useless and silly trivialities, as usual. But when there are horrors, I am sure to see them. Maybe at night I am an American gangster, or a Zulu, unless it is a good, jet-black Negro.... It's absurd and discouraging. Besides, I seem to be becoming completely null and stupid - which is a pity for you.
S.
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