Autobiographical Notes
and Other Writings of Historical Interest
CONTENTS
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PART ONE |
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AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL NOTES |
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Section One |
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Life Sketches and Other Autobiographical Notes |
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Section Two |
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Corrections of Statements Made in Biographies and Other Publications |
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General Note (referring especially to the Alipur Case and Sri Aurobindo’s politics) |
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PART TWO |
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LETTERS OF HISTORICAL INTEREST |
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Section One |
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Letters on Personal, Practical and Political Matters,1890 – 1926 |
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Letters Written as a Probationer in the Indian Civil Service, 1892 |
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Letters Written While Employed in the Princely State of Baroda, 1895 – 1906 |
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To the Dewan, on the Government’s Reply to the Letter on the Curzon Circular |
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Letters and Telegrams to Political and Professional Associates, 1906 – 1926 |
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Section Two |
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Early Letters on Yoga and the Spiritual Life, 1911 – 1928 |
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Section Three |
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Other Letters of Historical Interest on Yoga and Practical Life, 1921 – 1938 |
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PART THREE |
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PUBLIC STATEMENTS AND OTHER COMMUNICATIONSON INDIAN AND WORLD EVENTS, 1940–1950 |
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Section One |
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Public Statements, Messages, Letters and Telegrams on Indian and World Events, 1940 – 1950 |
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On the Integration of the French Settlements in India, 1947 – 1950 |
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Section Two |
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Private Letters to Public Figures and to the Editor of Mother India, 1948 – 1950 |
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Notes and Letters to the Editor of Mother India on Indian and World Events, 1949 – 1950 |
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PART FOUR |
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PUBLIC STATEMENTS AND NOTICES CONCERNINGSRI AUROBINDO’S ASHRAM AND YOGA, 1927 – 1949 |
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Section One |
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Public Statements and Notices concerning the Ashram,1927 – 1937 |
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Section Two |
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Public Statements about Sri Aurobindo’s Path of Yoga, 1934 and 1949 |
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Section Three
Other Letters of Historical Interest on Yoga and Practical Life 1921 1938
On Yoga and Fund-raising for the Ashram, 1921 1938
To and about Durgadas Shett
[1]
Pondicherry May 12. 1921
Dear Durgadas I received day before yesterday your letter and the Rs 400 you sent me. I accept the money and shall use it for the house for those who come to me for the Yoga. The house is taken and will be ready on the 15th. ..
There is no reason, no just reason for your indulging the state of mind which is expressed in your letter. You write as if
you were not accepted and there was no hope for you. That is not so. Those who sincerely give themselves to me, cannot
be rejected. All that was intended in what Barin and Satyen have told you, is that you should come with a complete
self-giving and a readiness to renounce everything in you that may be an obstacle to the completeness. The main obstacles in you
are an emotional self-indulgence and the ahankara of work etc to which you seem to give a greater importance than to the
greater and deeper object of the Yoga. Our Yoga is solely for the development of the divine consciousness in man and all the
rest is secondary, work only valuable as the expression of the Divine in the individual and it is to be done by the Divine, not
with the ego, not as a work that is yours or to be done by you for the satisfaction of the sense of the
Page – 407 first stages of the sadhana. The Sangha of our Yoga must be of men who give up the lower consciousness and the lower nature in order to assume the higher and divine. The formation of a commune for the sake of a particular "work" is not at all the true ideal. It is only as we all grow into the Divine that the true sangha can be created. This you ought to understand clearly and try to fix in yourself before you come here. This also you must understand that I cannot reject yourself and take your money. Money is nothing; it is a mere means and convenience which God will give me whenever and to whatever degree he wills for his purpose. It is yourself, your soul that matters. Try to understand these things in their true light so that you may be ready, when [you come], to receive completely what I have to give you. Meanwhile put yourself in spiritual relation with me, try to receive me with a passive and unobstructing mind and wait for the call to come here. As soon as I am ready, I shall call you. As for the others of whom you write, you may speak to them of me hereafter, but you must leave it to me to decide about their fitness and what is best for them. All cannot come to me immediately and each case must be decided according to the truth of the being of each and the will of the Divine with regard to him. Aurobindo
[2]
[29 December 1927]
Answer1 The "Sadhak-Bhav" is Anilbaran's translation of one of several pieces that are being put together and published by Rameshwar under the title "The Mother". There seems to be no great utility in publishing a separate translation of it and the English of it is out of question since that has been given to Rameshwar.
1 Sri Aurobindo wrote what follows to indicate how he wanted his secretary, Nolini Kanta Gupta, to answer a letter from Durgadas. Nolini's reply was apparently written in Bengali. — Ed. On Yoga and Fund-raising for the Ashram
Page – 408 Anilbaran says his translations cannot be published in book form without serious revision and he is no doubt right. If it is published at all it will have to be given to R, who wants all the things from here that can be given to him. Some four months ago Durgadas wrote a letter about a friend of his; the letter passed out of my memory and no answer was given. The photograph sent shows nothing. As for the illness, it is evidently a disease of the physical nerves — these diseases attack at various places and create or simulate different illnesses. Probably it is an after result of the ravage on the organism created by the Kalazar. In most cases it indicates a weakness in the vital being which opens it to pressure from hostile influences belonging to the lower vital worlds.
[3]
I had given Barin an answer to your former letter, but it may either not have been sent or else delayed or lost owing to the railway strike. A paper of the kind you are undertaking is not part of my work. My only work is that which is centralised at Pondicherry under the control of the Mother. What she gives to the sadhaks to do elsewhere or accepts as helpful for the present or the future is part of the work. All else belongs to the old movements or to the outside world. So long as one has the old mentality and is still living the old life, he can always undertake anything of the kind and according to his fortune and capacity succeed or fail. I may give some help if there is any good reason for it, but I can undertake no responsibility for the work or its results. Suresh is not at present "one of us", on the contrary he has left and taken a hostile attitude. Your request to Nalini and others [ ]2 to go over there as editor is made without any knowledge of the present condition of the Sadhana and the present mentality of the Sadhakas here. You write as if all were
2 MS seems
Page – 409 as it was seven or eight years ago, but everything is changed since then and such things are no longer possible. You write about your pres[ent] [incomplete]3
[4]
It is difficult to understand anything precise from Durgadas' letter. I gather that his personal and his financial condition are
not very good and that his inner condition, if not too bad, is not famous, finally that he is empty of vital force and the joy
of life. All that, however, is exceedingly imprecise and does not help me to help him. The source of his difficulty is in his mind;
it is too full of uncertainties, useless complexities and twistings upon itself and hesitations and
As regards this paper, I cannot say that it has any very particular connection with my work; but under present conditions there is no reason why he should not take part in it. Finally about Moni whom he proposes to call, write to him that Moni has left us and is no longer "one of us". On the contrary, he has become hostile to us and is campaigning against my work so that there can be no question of inviting him there.
[5]
[June July 1929]
Nalini Write to Durgadas (in Bengali) a letter to the following purpose. It is hardly practicable to send anyone from here so far as Bhubaneshwar to bring him. We had wired to Jyotish Mukherji to stop there and bring him, but Jyotish had started before
3 This is Sri Aurobindo's draft answer to a letter from Durgadas dated 16 July 1928. Sri Aurobindo did not complete the letter. Instead he wrote a note to Nolini Kanta Gupta in which he gave his thoughts on the points in Durgadas's letter, presumably for communication to Durgadas in Bengali. See the next item. — Ed.
Page – 410 receiving the wire. The next person expected from Bengal is Hrishikesh Kanjilal and we can ask him to do it; but this will take some time. If Durgadas is anxious to come at once, it will be better for him to make his own arrangements in the matter. As to the money he needs, if he absolutely cannot get from home or his friends, we will see about it. But it will be better if he can arrange, for the expenses of the Asram are heavy and always increasing, and at present money is not coming in freely. Next, about his stay. In his former letter he spoke of coming for a few days to settle certain matters, but in this letter he speaks casually of not returning; but there is no clear statement that he wants to settle down in Pondicherry for good. The conditions here internal and external have very much changed from what they were when he was here before. The conditions are in many respects much more rigorous and there is a strong pressure in the atmosphere for concentration in the sadhana and for change of the nature. It will have to be seen if he can accommodate himself to the conditions or bear the pressure. If he can, then there can be no objection to his staying here. But those who stay here for the Yoga find usually that other interests that do not come within its scope fall away from them or recede to a distance. If it is decided that he stays, he must be prepared for that change. He writes in his letter as if he wanted to see me and talk about his paper and other enterprise. But that is impossible. I see no one except on three days in the year, and even then I speak with no one. All that people have to say to me, they communicate orally to the Mother or in writing and, afterwards if there is a decision to be made, it is made by her in consultation with me. There can be no exception to this rule. As to his health, there is no reason why in itself the subjection to fever, weakness or intestinal illness should be incurable. Only, he must be able to open himself altogether to the Power. When people practising Yoga suffer in this way, it is more often than not because there is a disharmony between the Force that is working in them and some parts of the mind and the vital and physical nature, some resistance or some unwillingness or inability to open up to it. Part of the nature opens, but part shuts itself
Page – 411 up and follows its own impulses and ideas; a disequilibrium, disturbance or illness is the result. Moreover, if he wants to recover, he must have the faith and the will to do so. He must not always be thinking of death or see it as the inevitable result; he must make up his mind to cure. Finally, he wrote in his first letter about making a will. What his meaning is, is not clear — in this matter, his ideas and mine differ. But all that can best be settled, when he is here. The best thing for him will be not to make farther hesitations and difficulties, but anyhow arrange or manage to come — once here, there can be, in Chandernagore language, a general "clearance".
[6]
9, Rue de la Marine Pondicherry
July 5, 1929.
To Durgadas Shett Hrishikesh has wired on the 2nd from Sherpur (Mymensingh) that he will start in a week and bring you to Pondicherry with him. I do not know if he has written or wired to you, so I write to inform you. Please arrange to come with him, if you are not in a condition to come alone. To bring someone else would be very inconvenient and might lead to awkwardness; for it has been for a long time the rule of the Asram to admit for residence only sadhaks of the Asram itself, disciples who come for a visit or short stay, people who come with special permission for initiation in Yoga, and, in some cases, those who come, — again with special permission, — for darshan on the days in the year on which Sri Aurobindo comes out. Outsiders who do not fall within these classes are not allowed to stay in the Asram, but are supposed to make their own arrangements elsewhere. There is one thing which I should mention and of which I omitted to write in my last letter. You have written of the
Page – 412 work in which you have been recently engaged as if it were part of Sri Aurobindo's work and of those who are with you in it as if they were among his spiritual followers or disciples. But in matter of fact Sri Aurobindo knows practically nothing about what you are doing and nothing at all about those who are helping you. When you wrote to him about the "Swadeshi Bazaar" you yourself expressed a doubt as to the possibility of this enterprise having any connection with his work and his reply was that there was none. But as he understood that it was to be a weekly review with a special interest in economics and Swadeshi industry and trade, he could make no objection to your taking it up if that took your fancy. He does not interfere as a rule with the external activities of those who are not members of the Asram and therefore self-bound to its spiritual aim and discipline or who have not made a complete surrender of their inner and outer life to his direction and control. Recently, however, since your last letters to him, Sri Aurobindo has been informed that those who are now with you are political workers of a particular school. If that is so, it is rather surprising that you should still think it possible to connect this work of yours with Sri Aurobindo's. You must surely be aware that he has cut off all connection with politics and that his work is purely spiritual and he does not support or have any kind of connection with any political school or group or party. It is also a rule of the Asram that any one entering it as a member must give up all political connections and cease from any activities of that kind. I write this in order that any misunderstanding there may be should be cleared up, first in your own mind and afterwards here in a complete explanation of all matters when you come.
[7]
Pondicherry 26 November 1930.
My dear Durgadas, I reply today to your letter; I think my answer will reach you by the 29th instant.
Page – 413
Of the three proposals you put before me, it is the first, that of a lump sum of Rs 50,000, which recommends itself to me. The third is hardly possible since it would be extremely difficult and inconvenient, not to say impracticable, for me to realise the rent of a house in Calcutta. The second proposal seems to me to be a little wanting in definiteness and, at any rate, I would prefer something speedy and final to a temporary arrangement for a number of years. I would not recommend to anyone the acceptance of the Government promissory note at 31 per cent, if he had a better choice; 2 those of the kind we have had to deal with were worth in the market less than 2 of their face value. Moreover, this is a kind of 3 investment for which I never had any liking. I gather from your letter that you are yourself not at all certain what will be realised from the property coming to you under this arrangement. There remains the question about the Bank. The simplest way would be to deposit the money in the Imperial Bank, Calcutta, which is in relation with the Banque d'Indo-Chine, Pondicherry, and to send a cheque signed by the Imperial Bank in the name of the Mother (Madame M. Alfassa) which we could easily get cashed here. If the cheque were in my name, it would not be so easy, as my signature is not known to the Bank in Calcutta and I have no account with the bank here nor any transactions with it in my own name. We can however consider this matter hereafter when the time comes and decide on this or any other alternative. I mention it at once because it is the simplest and most convenient and we have employed it already, so that it seems to me superfluous to seek for any other way.Sri Aurobindo
[8]
Pondicherry. 9.12.30
My dear Durgadas, Your letter of the 3d instant reached me only on the 8th .. afternoon, owing to the breakdown of railway communications between Madras and Pondicherry. You must have received the
Page – 414 telegram dated the next morning in answer. I perfectly understand the financial advantages of your second and third proposal, especially the last; but my experience is that clear cash transactions turn out usually to be the best. In these long term or transactional arrangements I have found most often that circumstances independent of the giver or receiver have interfered and upset the calculated advantages. I therefore stick to my original preference. The usual charge made by the Bank is 2 as [annas] per cent, which would amount for a sum of Rs 50,000 to Rs 62.8,4 and if the cheque is in the Mother's name (it must be in the form given to you in my last letter, Madame M. Alfassa), they would probably make a reduction in the charges. A cheque from the National Bank would, I suppose, serve also; only there would be more delay in converting it because there are no direct relations of that Bank with the Banque d'Indo-Chine.Sri Aurobindo
[9]
24.4.33.
Durgadas The Mother's protection is always with you. Trust in her always and call down her peace and strength and light in you to still the restlessness and fill the vacancy with calm and force and joy and ease. Sri Aurobindo
[10]
Pondicherry 30.4.34
Durgadas, I have received your letter of the 26th. It is not necessary to make any arrangements for the interest — we shall be able
4 That is, 62 rupees and 8 annas (one half-rupee). — Ed.
Page – 415 to manage. What is more important is the way of sending. On no account must you cut the papers in half. It was publicly proclaimed by the Government some years ago — I do not know how it is that so many people are still ignorant of it — that they would not be responsible for cut notes. We have had much difficulty with cut bank notes, and Government paper cut like this will not at all be recognised and accepted. I must ask you therefore to make some other secure arrangement for sending the papers. You have written nothing about yourself and how you are getting on. I hope you will let us know in a future letter.
Sri Aurobindo
[11]
14.5.34
Durgadas As regards the sending of the Government paper there is a perfectly simple method which will involve no trouble. It is to endorse the Notes in favour of Duraiswami's bank in Madras and give them to its branch in Calcutta which will forward them to Madras. Duraiswami has often negotiated for us large sums in Govt promissory notes and in bank notes through his bank, so there will be no difficulty. I have asked Duraiswami to draw up a letter of instructions so that you will know exactly what to do and I am enclosing it with this. You have only to follow the instructions in his letter.
Sri Aurobindo
[12]
Durgadas, I had intended to write to you as soon as I had received your offering, but as you told us not to send any letters before knowing your new address I could not do so. I decided to realise the Government Notes as I was informed that they would lose in value and I have placed Rs 50,000, the sum originally agreed
Page – 416 upon in the Asram account from which money cannot again be diverted for other uses, and kept the rest (Rs 25000 about) free for use. I gather from your letter that your health has not improved and is sometimes very bad leading to occasional crises. But from what you describe and from what I know, I believe that this ill-health is due to the weakness of the nervous system — the vital physical and the nervous envelope and not to any specific illness. If so, it can be got rid of by strengthening that part. You should determine on that and dismiss in future any depressing suggestions and certainly never think for this or any other reason of leaving the body. I understand from what you write that inwardly you have progressed and received much help. Since that is so, you have every reason to be confident since you will certainly receive more and not less help now and be able to make the progress which is still needed. You have not given any indication of what you are doing. You had written before that you had certain things to clear up from the past before you came here. How far has that been done? I see from your letter that you are in difficulties for money, — but why then did you not write? I have no idea of what you stand in need of, but I am sending you a sum of Rs 100 to go on with and you will let me know at an early date what you need. But I must be sure of your address before sending letter and money so I despatch a telegram tomorrow reply paid to make sure of that. Do not hesitate to write or to ask or tell openly what you need to ask or tell. I wish to have letters regularly from you keeping me informed of all that concerns you. I may not be able to answer always, at least personally, for I am overpressed with work and it is only on Sundays that I am a little free, but whenever necessary I will write and you will get besides whatever invisible help you need from me.
Sri Aurobindo
30.9.34.
Page – 417
[13]
28.10.34
Durgadas It is unfortunately impossible for me to write letters with punctuality and at length — for most letters written outside I have to rely on Nolini who writes them from my directions and even so nine out of ten have to go unanswered; yet I have not sufficient time for my work. There are only three people outside the Asram besides yourself to whom I make it a point of writing personally, but the result of the conditions is that I can write to them only when I find a little time, usually on Sunday. For the same reason I have to write briefly. But you know by experience that help can come silently and letters, though necessary under the existing conditions, are only a minor help. As to the past, you have written that your difficulties have been solved. I need not therefore return to that, except to say that I consider you took the right attitude and the right course as regards your share in the family property. I think that includes everything and I need say no more. I am sorry to hear of your continued bad health. There is evidently a weakness in your aura or nervous envelope which allows these invasions of the forces of illness. That can only be set right by a strengthening of this nervous envelope. That can be done partly by a healthy climate and a life without anxieties, but the only radical cure is to bring down the strength of the higher consciousness into the nervous being and the body and refortify the nervous envelope. This depends on the progress of your sadhana. Meanwhile report to me from time to time the state of your health and I will see what can be done. I have read carefully what you have written about your sadhana but I should like to know more precisely and specifically the exact stage you have reached and how the Force is working in the different planes of your being. I would also like to know whether you would care to receive the letters on Yoga (usually called messages) circulated in the Asram? Not many go out nowadays, but sometimes I write still
Page – 418 and one here or there may be useful to you. If so, I will ask Nolini to send to you. However, most of those recently written are being published shortly in a book to be called "Lights on Yoga". Finally about your idea of marriage. On this I should like to have more precise information about the girl and, if possible, a photograph of her. It is evidently a step of great consequence that you propose. Is it the life of a householder you propose to lead or is the marriage solely with the idea of sadhana in life together?
Sri Aurobindo
[14]
[January 1935]
Durgadas I had intended to write about your sadhana, but, as recently there have been many difficulties in the work that I had to overcome, I could make no time. In answer to your last letter I would say that when you have had the experiences and realisation you have described, nothing ought to discourage you. It is true that even after one has the consciousness in the inner being, it is still difficult to bring out it or its results in the outer being and the life. But that is a difficulty which all have and it can be overcome by patient sadhana and time. One thing these realisations ought to remove from you — the idea of giving up the body. Once there is the inner consciousness established, the possibility of realisation in the outer life [ ]5 is established also and, whatever the obstacles and difficulties, the disappointments from people or circumstances, the idea of giving up the body ought not to arise. Two things especially are needed for the life-realisation to take form, an entire faith and equality of mind — not disturbed by anything that may happen, knowing that all happens for the best by the inscrutable Will — and the instrumentation of the Divine Force in the adhara. These must be established in the
5 MS also
Page – 419 inner being, but also as much as possible in the outer nature. Men and circumstances may not come up to your expectation or to your demand on them — they seldom or never do, but it is not on them but on the Divine and on the Divine Force acting in you that must be your dependence. Your letter about the sadhana made everything clear and precise as to inner things — but there is not the same clearness and precision about your outer life. What are your present circumstances — what you wish and intend to do, that is what I would like to know more clearly. Especially one thing, what I should do for you on the material plane. When you sent not only the Rs 50,000 first promised for the Asram, but the rest of your share of the estate, you wrote that you had kept something for your needs and would write whenever you needed anything more. I have also arranged on that basis. But I know nothing of what are your needs or how you would like me to meet them. I gathered, I do not know whether rightly, from something you wrote that my sending an insured letter raised comments. I would very [much] like to know what precisely I should send, at what intervals and in what way. It would set my mind at rest if I knew this, for it is difficult to act in material things without such precisions. I hope therefore you will not mind my asking.
Sri Aurobindo
[15]
27.1.35
Durgadas I have written to you in my last letter about sending money — I would have sent at once on receiving your letter of the 14th, .. but you have asked me not to do so till you write to me — you indicate also an uncertainty about your address. I hope you will write at once and let me know what you need. There is no reason why you should have to rely on others. But I am in ignorance about your needs and had therefore to depend on your writing to me about it. If a clear and precise arrangement can be made Page – 420 so that you may not be in embarrassment at any time, that will be the best. Otherwise you ought not to hesitate to write to me each time as soon as it is necessary. I do not know also very precisely what kind of work you envisage. Your letters have not given me any definite idea. Here in the Asram all is confined to the preparation for the spiritual change which is the object of the Yoga and work is only a field of practice for that change of the nature. It is a hard thing to achieve, our difficulties internal and external have been many, but until it is accomplished we have denied ourselves any other definite work, except some publication of books, — because the base must be there before there can be any structure. Apart from that, any work in the outside world can be taken in the same way as a field of exercise for perfection, for the harmonising of the inner growth and the outer action. But this is the general principle — the other question is that of the precise field and direction you want to choose. As to your ill-health, what do you wish me to tell you? Treatment (if it is good) and change of climate when necessary suggest themselves; but at bottom the difficulty is a difficulty experienced by us all — the disharmony between the light and power that is coming down and the obscure body consciousness which is accustomed to respond to disharmonious forces. It is precisely this point at which we are labouring here — and, as always happens, the difficulties to be met become immediately acute. Take treatment if you find it helps you and change climate; but the inner victory here is the means of the final solution. Sri Aurobindo
[16]
Pondicherry 24.2.35.
Durgadas I was unable to write all these days as it was round about the 21st of February and at that time we are overflooded with
Page – 421 people and letters and work of all kinds. I am still unable to write more than a few lines. I am sending you Rs 100 by money order and I shall send the same sum from time to time. I now understand clearly the conditions of the past and what happened — those of the present are not quite as precise to me. I hope that if the money is exhausted before you receive the next instalment or if you need some special sum for a special purpose you will without hesitation write to me. About other matters I hope to write more at length when I find a little breathing space. Sri Aurobindo
[17]
Durgadas I received your letter from Dehradun later than the day you had fixed for your departure, so I had to wire to ascertain if by any chance you were still there. Your frequent changes of address have stood in the way of any correspondence from here. It is impossible for me to write promptly and by the time I have written, you have generally moved away with no precise indication of the new address. I had sent you a money order for Rs 100 and a letter to Benares, but they were crossed by your letter announcing your departure and came back to me. I had always wished to send you money for your expenses, but I did not know what you needed and it is difficult for me to fix anything, — that was why I had asked you. I have sent Rs 100. I do not know if Rs 50 a month would be sufficient; if it is not, you must not hesitate to tell me. You can also let me know the amount you owe to your friends so that I may remit the sum to you. All that is simply a matter of clear understanding and arrangement. I am less clear as to the place where you should stay. If the atmosphere of the Asram were less troubled and there was less illness and attacks of turbulent forces, I would ask you to
Page – 422 come and stay here. But considering your bad health and the sensitiveness and delicacy of your vital nature, I hesitate to do so, because I do not know whether you would be able vitally and physically to be at ease amidst this fierce struggle of forces on the physical and lower vital plane. On the other hand I am not fixed as to what climate or surroundings would suit you elsewhere or of any place where you could have what is necessary for me. If you could let me have some information as to possible places and their circumstances, it would be easier for me to decide. You need not think that I am likely to abandon you or withdraw my spiritual and practical support for any reason or that I find any fault with you. You may be sure of my help and blessings always. In the inner being you know that I am with you, in the outer life I hope that developments will soon take place which will make it possible for the nearness to be externally realisable. 1.12.35 Sri Aurobindo
[18]
Durgadas I am afraid I have delayed too long in sending you money. I hope you have not been put to inconvenience. In the heavy pressure of work I had not realised that so long a time had gone. I am sending a money order. I have been unable to make a satisfactory arrangement anywhere for your staying. The only one that looks possible is an offer of Srish Goswami (formerly of Howrah, now in Jalpaiguri) to take a house for you near his in Jalpaiguri and look after you. He had not at that time room in his own house, which would have been the best arrangement. I do not know how Jalpaiguri would suit you. If you think it feasible, I can ask him to make the necessary arrangements and you can join him there as soon as things are ready. I write this briefly only, so that the post may not be delayed.
Page – 423 I shall answer your last letter before the 21st as I hope to have a little more time now. Sri Aurobindo 12.2.36.
[19]
Pondicherry 8.6.36
Durgadas I am glad you have informed me of your new address, but regret to see that the condition of your mind is so depressed and hopeless. Suicide is no solution of any spiritual problem or difficulty — it does not liberate from suffering after death, for the suffering in the vital continues; nor does it prepare better conditions hereafter, for the conditions created for the next life are worse and the same difficulties present then for solution. All suggestions of suicide come from a hostile force which wants to break the life and the sadhana. I hope that you will put away this thought from you altogether and for good. There is only one way [for]6 the sadhak and that is to maintain his trust in the Divine through all difficulties and sufferings, try to gather more and more fortitude and equality and freedom from all attachments till there is that strength and calm within on which the realisation can be securely founded. As to the question you put me it is in the affirmative. Whatever help I can give you, I will give. I do not write any more now than what is necessary as an answer to what you have written in your letter, so that this may not be delayed in posting. I send my blessing. There is a Power of which you have at times been conscious which can carry you through. May it restore your faith and reliance and lead you to the conquest of yourself and Nature. Sri Aurobindo
P.S I send you a money order for Rs 100. I hope it will find you.
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Page – 424 [20]
Pondicherry 29.6.36
Durgadas I got your letter late and could not telegraph on Saturday, but as you mentioned Monday morning, I sent an urgent wire the first thing on Monday (this morning). I am writing you a letter (referring back for the purpose to your past letters so as to understand better if I can what you say on certain matters here), but as this takes long, I could not finish the reply — so I am writing this in the meanwhile. If you cannot wait (you speak of going away on Thursday) as I have asked in the wire, at least let me know that you have gone and give me your new address so that I may send it there. Meanwhile very briefly I may say that I have failed to grasp clearly and distinctly what is the offence you consider yourself to have committed against the Truth (your Truth) which demands a punishment, no less than death. You are nowhere explicit in this matter so as to say to me "This or this is the offence and this the Truth against which I have offended." You touch on several points, your own offence, the evil men have done you, the evil I myself have done you (of which I was myself perfectly unconscious and certainly had no intention to do any,) the proposed marriage and my withholding of sanction, but on no point are there any precisions. I have therefore to answer in a general way and that cannot be very satisfactory to you. Nevertheless let me say at once that suicide or letting oneself die — it comes to the same thing — can never be in my eyes a step in consonance with the Truth of things — it seems to me to be in itself an offence against Truth. If a punishment is to be inflicted on oneself for anything, it should be in the nature of an atonement — but the only atonement for a fall from Truth (supposing that there is one) is to persevere, to correct, to attempt again resolutely to embody the Truth in one's life till it is done. Then again, for your marriage, if you firmly feel that to be
Page – 425 the Truth for you or an indispensable part of it, I would be the last person to dissuade you from it. I have not done so and have left it to the Truth in you to work out your course as it did formerly in other matters. For the rest I shall explain what I mean in the longer letter. I write this only to make it clear that there is no opposition on my part, if your being demands this as a step to be taken in pursuit of its inner need. There is no reason, if that is a main point where you feel yourself unfulfilled, to despair and seek an issue out which is no issue. Try to calm and control the agitation in you and do not allow yourself to be swept towards decisions which merely mean failure and disaster. Sri Aurobindo
[21]
21.7.36
Durgadas I have received your letter today and am sending the money, Rs 100 for July and August and Rs 150 for extra expenses, 250 in all. This is only to announce the despatch; as I do not want to delay it I do not write a letter. I trust that the despair of the future will go and give place to renewed hope and strength to face life and journey towards the divine realisation. Sri Aurobindo
[22]
25.6.37
Durgadas I received your letter and take the opportunity of the first leisure I have had since to write just a line in answer. I am glad to know that all is right and there is no such trouble or difficulty as you apprehended. I shall certainly do what I can spiritually for her welfare in the future.
Page – 426 Convey my blessing and the Mother's to all your friends who have helped you. With yourself our love and blessings. Sri Aurobindo
[23]
Pondicherry 24.5.38
Durgadas I was glad to receive your letter and have news of you after so long a time. In your letter at the end you express your wish to live independently in a solitary place if you can get the help you need for that. I shall willingly give you all help for that. Will you let me know at once more in detail where or to what kind of solitary place you wish to go and what help you need (special and standing monthly expenses included) and I will see immediately to provide you. If you wish at any time to come over here to the Asram for a period or permanently, you have only to let us know. It is not a solitary place — there are now some 170 people living a collective existence though each has his separate room and can, if he likes, live a retired life there; but it is not an independent and solitary life such as one can have when living apart in one's own individual way. Whenever you feel inclined, you might come here and see what it is and whether, in its present form, it will at all suit you. Later on, when we have the means, I hope to have a more elastic organisation when different ways of living, separate or close, may be possible. As for what I wish about you, it had always been my intention as soon as I could do so in a way satisfactory to you and suitable, to ask you to join the life and work that I am preparing. I have not asked you so far because there is only this Asram where people are being prepared and nothing but the small internal work of the Asram itself — I did not want to start anything larger before everything was spiritually and otherwise ready. But if at any time you feel inclined and able to fit yourself
Page – 427 into things as they are here, I shall be very glad to call you here at once. That would be altogether for you to decide in full freedom according to the needs of your nature. Sri Aurobindo
To and about Punamchand M. Shah
[1]
To Punamchand
I. Separation of Purusha and Prakriti to establish tranquility of heart and mind. (a) Separated Purusha, calm, observing Prakriti. (b) Prakriti in the heart and mind attending calmness. II. Offering of all the actions, all that is done in your life as a sacrifice to the Lord. III. Realisation of the Higher Divine Shakti doing all the works. (a) Living with the constant idea that it is the Shakti which does the work. (b) Feeling of the Divine Shakti descending from above the mind and moving the whole being. 1921
[2]
Pondicherry August 15th 1923
The bearer Punamchand Mohanlal Shah is my disciple and is now with me practising Yoga in Pondicherry. He is trustworthy and faithful in all matters and enjoys my entire confidence. Aurobindo Ghose
Page – 428 [3]
Punamchand The ornaments offered by Chandulal's mother. Certainly, you can accept and send them. I do not know why you felt any scruple in this matter. Whatever is given with Bhakti can and ought to be received and not rejected whether it is money, things of value or useful things. There may be exceptions, as for instance where the gift is of a quite unsuitable or cumbrous kind, but this is obviously not the case here. (2) The talk with Haribhai Think no more about it except to retain the lesson. Your mistake was to interfere with your ignorant mind in a matter which had been decided by the Mother, as if it could know better than she did. As usually happens when the physical mind acts in this way, it made wrong reasoning and foolish blunder. It was as if you gave Haribhai a choice between giving money or giving the clothes and other articles. He was to give both and there was no question of a choice between them; nor could this kind of balancing and reduction on one side or the other be good for his spiritual progress. The fact that other clothes were coming from a Mill could make no difference: that was quite another list and did not meet the same needs. As for the other possibilities you speak of, they have nothing to do with previous arrangements and present requirements; they are only a possibility of the future. I write this much only to show you how mistaken these mental movements are; but you need not worry about it any longer. (3) The "Four Aspects" is half written and will be finished in a few days. It has been decided to publish these four writings with the February message in Calcutta. Motilal Mehta can use them instead of the August 15th utterances.
October 3, 1927
Page – 429
[4]
Pondicherry 1st January 1928
To Punamchand. M. Shah. I have received your letter and am sending this answer with Haribhai. I do not consider it necessary or advisable to make a public appeal for the sum of money I have asked you to raise for me in Gujerat. If a public appeal is to be made, it can only be when the time comes for my work to be laid on larger foundations and I can create the model form or outward material organisation of the new life which will be multiplied throughout India and, with India as a spiritual nucleus and centre, in other countries. Then large sums of money will be indispensable and a public appeal may become advisable. At present I am making a smaller preliminary foundation, a spiritual training-ground and the first form of a community of spiritual workers. Here they will practise and grow in the Yoga and learn to act from the true consciousness and with the true knowledge and power. Here too some first work will be undertaken and institutions founded on a small scale which will prepare for the larger and more definite work of the future. I need money to buy land and houses, to get equipment for these first institutions and to accommodate and maintain an increasing number of sadhakas and workers. A public appeal is not necessary to raise the sums that are at present indispensable. I prefer to make it only when I have already created a sufficient external form that all can see. It will be easy for you to raise privately the money I now want if you are inspired to get into touch with the right and chosen people. As you can judge, even this preliminary work will be a matter not of one but several lakhs, but I have named one lakh as the minimum immediately needed in order that we may start solidly and go on without being hampered at each step for want of funds. If you can raise more than the initial minimum, so much the better. The work will proceed more easily and quickly and with a surer immediate prospect. Preserve the right
Page – 430
consciousness and attitude, keep yourself open to the Divine
Shakti and let her will be done through you.
[5]
Punamchand
I am surprised to see from your letter that you have received
from Vithaldas an offer of Rs 500 a month towards the expenses of the Asram and that you have not immediately accepted it. In
fact the language of the letter would almost mean that it was rejected almost with impolite disdain; but I suppose this could be
a wrong impression. It is precisely help of this kind that we are feeling the most need of just now. For so long as this monthly
deficit is not filled, we are obliged to spend on our monthly upkeep sums that ought to go for capital outlay and under such
circumstances the very foundation of the Asram from the pecuniary point of view remains insecure. If the monthly expenses
are secured, the Asram will be put on a safe foundation and the work for bringing the lakh and other large sums can go
forward on a much sounder basis. Besides the forces will not be diverted from their proper work by the harassment of daily
needs. Therefore, recently, it is just contributions of this kind that we have been pressing for as the first necessity. Vithaldas
seems to have received an inspiration from this pressure and made a magnificent answer. And you do not immediately seize
on this response! This is an example of what I meant when I warned you to keep yourself open to the Mother's force and
not to follow merely your own ideas and plans. Now the only thing to do is to speak to Vithaldas at once and see whether he
keeps to his offer. If so, you should accept it at once. The sooner we get the money the better. Our deficit is really more than Rs
800, for the number of disciples is constantly increasing and the expenses also. If Vithaldas can be relied upon to give
regularly
Rs 500 a month, the gap will be almost filled and once that is done, the obstruction we have felt hitherto in this matter is likely
to disappear and the rest to come in with greater ease. If you have not already accepted his offer and made arrangements for
Page – 431
the regular transmission of the money, then act at once.
The Mother does not want to buy saris for herself with the
money raised; in the present state of the finances the idea is altogether out of the question. The income and expenses must
be balanced; money must be found for the work of building up the Asram. All the rest comes after.
Sri Aurobindo Pondicherry
June 2. 1928
[6]
Punamchand
As regards the amount of Rs 500/ monthly from Vithaldas
and your note in the account, I presume it is clearly understood that this sum has nothing to do with the account. It must be
kept quite separate and remitted here every month as soon as it is received; it must on no account and in no circumstances be
detained or used for any other purpose whatsoever.
As to the expenses shown in the account, you asked originally for Rs 70/ a month in Bombay or Rs 30/ in Patan; but the actual expenditure has been for months above Rs 200/ .
This is an enormous amount and, as I have already pointed out, it is swallowing up all you collect. I do not see how you expect
to be able to maintain this rate of expenditure for an indefinite period or what purpose it serves.
[7]
Champaklal
Write to Punamchand that now that Vithaldas has seen the Mother, he should communicate his experience or his difficulties
direct to her. It is not desirable that in matters of the Sadhana Punamchand or anybody else should come in between, even as
a channel of communication. The Mother's force must go direct undisturbed by any other influence.
December 1928
Page – 432
[8]
Champaklal
As regards the Vedic "Dictionary" write to Punamchand
that I do not want anything of this kind to be made out
of my unfinished work. If it is to be done, it will be
in the future and must be only under my express
directions and supervision.
December 1928
[9]
Write to Punamchand asking what are the Rs 500 that reached us
today. Whenever he sends money, he should inform us at the same time
what it is and who has given it.
Write to him also with regard to the letter he wrote
about the detective's visit and his proposals. He has
only to send regular accounts with details of sums,
names etc to me, and he is on safe ground. He can simply
answer that all moneys given are accounted for and full
details sent to me. If on the other hand he is loose in
his accounts and dealings with the money, he gives room
for this kind of rumour and creates a wrong atmosphere.
Nor in the absence of accounts can I myself have any
ground to go upon if I am questioned whether I received
or not the sums paid to him for me. In this connection
note that he has not sent, as promised, the accounts for
the last few months. Since his visit and return we have
received nothing.
16 April 1929
[10]
Punamchand
If you wish to take your monthly expenses from the money of
Vithaldas, you ought first to try to persuade him to assign
separately a sum of Rs 150 for the purpose without diminishing his
contribution to Pondicherry. If he is not willing, then you may take
from him the sum of Rs 150 and send Rs 550 to Pondicherry, but on
the following conditions.
434
Page – 433
(1) You will take this money from s' contribution only and you will
draw on no other sum.
(2) All other sums of money contributed through you must be sent
without fail and without delay to Pondicherry.
(3) There must be no expenditure for yourself beyond the amount
fixed and no borrowing of money for which you will make us
responsible or draw for its return on money contributed for the
Asram.
(4) The Mother will enter into her accounts Rs 550 only
as Vithaldas's contribution. The Rs 150 must be
considered as his help to you directly.
As regards Narangi, it was evident that he had no
enthusiasm for helping you in the way you propose. He
must have his own reasons for that and the Mother did
not care to press him to do it. He is already doing
wholeheartedly as much as can be reasonably asked from
him; it is no use exacting from him what he has no heart
for. It seems to me that if you can make yourself a true
channel for the force, you ought to be able to succeed
without his assistance.
In this connection I feel it necessary to say one thing
once for all, which I have refrained from writing before
because I did not think it would be of much use. The
difficulties you have experienced in the work you
undertook arose partly from the general opposition of
the money-power to the divine call, but also and very
largely from your own vital being and its desires and
self-regarding attitude. This vital nature of yours was
always full of demands and desires and it came to regard
their satisfaction as perfectly legitimate and even the
right thing to do. As respects money, it had the habit
of spending loosely and freely whatever came into your
hand; it had the habit too of borrowing and lending
freely without regard to your capacity either to give or
to repay; and, as always results from this kind of
looseness, it treated whatever money came into your
hands as it would have treated your own — I may give as
a slight but significant example your lending to your
personal friends out of the Mother's money which was
never intended for such a purpose. These habits might
pass in a man freely supplied by
Page – 434
Fortune with resources; but they were bound to have undesirable effects in your
position and especially in one entrusted with your task and practising Yoga.
At first you had some, though not a large success; but, with money
flowing through your hands, you could not refrain from a free and
increasing expenditure on yourself, Champa and Dikshit. Instead of
the Rs 70 allowed to you by the Mother, you began to spend more and
more, the amount of your total expenses rising in the end to well
above Rs 200 in a single month. This need created by you for
yourself — of course, with all sorts of plausible reasons to back it
— affected your whole attitude. The right attitude would have been
to put the Mother's work first and yourself last. Your whole and
sole desire should have been to send as much money as possible to
the Asram and spend as little as possible on yourself, only your
actual needs and the collection expenses. If that had remained your
attitude, circumstances moulded by the Divine Force would have
arranged themselves accordingly and you would have had enough and to
spare for your personal expenses. But in practice the position
became quite the opposite. Your first care was to draw money for
your expenses there; if anything remained, it could be sent to the
Mother. Only express contributions marked for the Asram like
Vithaldas' and Kanta's escaped this law — up till now. As a matter
of fact except these sums and some two or three thousand rupees at
the beginning, you have, acting on these lines, been unable to send
money or to do anything except to meet with the sums given to you
your Bombay expenses. For the consequences of this attitude were
inevitable. Circumstances shaped themselves accordingly; money came
in for your personal expenditure, but for the Asram it dwindled and
grew less and less; only Vithaldas' money saved it from becoming a
zero. Next, the money for your expenses became more and more
difficult to get and for that too you are compelled now to fall back
on the contribution of Vithaldas. That was the first result; the
second was that people in Bombay lost all confidence in you and in
the collection for the Asram and began even to suspect your bona
fides. And the last result was that your attitude came
Page – 435
between the people you approached and us, keeping them tied to you but cut off
from our influence. It was only as a result of our putting a strong force out
that some change has become possible and even now the resistance is very great
in the Bombay atmosphere.
I am perfectly aware that you can advance many
explanations justifying your action as against what I
have written. All that makes no difference. It is always
the habit of the vital being to find out things by which
it persuades the mind and justifies its desires; and
circumstances usually shape themselves to justify it
still farther. For what we have within us creates the
circumstances outside us. What matters is that you
should take inwardly a different position in the future.
If nothing happens to prevent this arrangement of
Vithaldas's money, you must see to it that henceforward
you confine yourself to the arrangement, keeping to it
strictly, put all preoccupation with yourself behind and
think only of the work you went for which is to get
support for the Asram — that and nothing else. You have
no other work in Gujerat — as you have sometimes vainly
imagined. You may be right in thinking that the only
thing you can do now is to get people with means
interested in the Asram, but in that case you must see
that they are put into direct touch without which the
interest cannot be real and effective. Their money must
come here and not stop in Bombay and when they are
ready, they themselves must come and receive what they
can of the influence.
The vision of which you give a description is the
indication of a vital attack or of a vital danger
throwing itself upon you. The form you saw was evidently
a strong Power of the hostile vital world — a red hot
copper-like bust can mean nothing else. If you thought
it was your being, it must have been because something
in your vital nature responded to the force which this
form embodied. The serpent was the indication of the
evil force contained in him. The nature of the bust
would seem to indicate that the force was that of vital
greed (lobha
of all kinds) and desire. The fact that the blow given was on the mouth
would confirm this interpretation — but that would also
be consistent with the force being that of falsehood, (moha,
mithyâ). The
Page – 436
grace and protection have always been with you in spite of everything, but for
it to work fully you must get rid of all in you that responds to the power that
threatens you. The blow and the smashing of the face or hood and drawing out and
upward of the serpent are an indication that now you have a chance of getting
free from this force and throwing away from your vital nature greed, egoism and
desire. It is for you to fulfil the favourable end of the vision by taking the
chance.
Sri Aurobindo
Pondicherry
14 September 1930
[11]
(1) To give up his Bombay work and stay here.
(2) To return to Bombay. If so, for what work and in what
conditions?
__
For (1) —
I doubt whether he will be able, after the very
different conditions to which he has been accustomed in
Bombay, to settle down to the discipline of the Asram
which itself is very different from what it was when he
was last here. And where to put them, if they stay?
__
For (2)
On the other hand, if he goes back, how is he to live? It is out of
the question for us to send him money and he must not even think of
it. In future also we cannot make ourselves responsible for any
loans he may contract; that too must be understood clearly.
If he collects money and spends all or most of what he gets on his
own expenses, that is about the worst thing that can be done. It
discredits him in people's eyes and discredits the collection and
the Asram. As soon as it is known people cease
Page – 437
to give money. Moreover, what is the meaning of a collection in which all the
money realised goes to collection expenses and nothing goes to the fund for
which the collection is made.
There is therefore only one possible solution, for him to fix a
maximum amount for his expenses and find someone (now that Vithaldas
is no more) who will give him that sum monthly. All other amounts
must be strictly sent here. And on no account must his expenses
exceed the sum fixed. This seems to me the only solution if he goes
back to Bombay.
For the work —
It seems no longer possible for him to collect money in the way he
and Dixit first did — approaching anybody and everybody for
contributions. The one thing he might possibly do is what he has
done with Narainji and Ramnarayan, — to make the acquaintance of
people, get them interested in the Asram and its work, and prepare
them for coming over here for us to see what can be done with them;
if he can get them meanwhile to contribute, so much the better. But
they must be men who can give assistance, either in a large sum or
as a substantial assistance to the monthly expenses.
__
[12]
Pondicherry, September 1931
He (Punamchand) can let Narainji have Veda translations, but I do
not want them widely circulated because they are a first draft, not
final. Messages and letters he may have. But the evening talks must
not get about. I have not seen these reports and therefore they are
not authorised, and there must be any number of things in them which
either ought not to be published or for which in the form they have
there, I cannot accept responsibility.
Page – 438
[13]
Punamchand
No use doing the Vocabulary of the Atri Hymns till the new
translation is ready. The old translation is too free for this
purpose.
Atri hymns not yet ready.
Not much use to collect words from the Secret of the Veda.
The Vocabulary of the Bharadwaja hymns is very well done; perhaps it
is best to do all like that and they could be put together
afterwards.
No. The Vocabularies of the Revised Hymns have to be kept separate
from the others. I shall look through the others when I have time
and see what is to be done.
The comma is a mistake; it has to be omitted.
Page – 439 |
in you. Equally an emotional self-indulgence will stand in the way of the true
calm and Ananda which belong to the divine consciousness. If you are ready from the beginning to recognise the difficulties
in your own nature, they can be easily removed; otherwise you will have to face much internal trouble and suffering in the
generally, to give his inner heart and life-force and spiritual force a real chance. If he wants
effective help, he ought to lay himself open entirely to us and receive without hesitation our influence.