Opinions of Others

 

You are quite right in not allowing the moods and fancies of people to effect you. You must soar above all that in the constant feeling of the Divine's Presence, Love and Protection.

 

Don't let anything from outside approach and disturb you. What people think, do or say is of little importance. The only thing that counts is your relation with the Divine.

 30 April 1933  

It is always regrettable when one is open to the influence of another person. One shouldn't admit any influence except that of the Divine.

 22 March 1934  

To feel hurt by what others do or think or say is always a sign of weakness and proof that the whole being is not exclusively turned towards the Divine, not under the divine influence alone. And then, instead of bringing with oneself the divine atmosphere made of love, tolerance, understanding, patience, it is one's ego that throws itself out, in response to another's ego, with stiffness and hurt feelings, and the disharmony is aggravated. The ego never understands that the Divine has different workings in different people and that to judge things from one's own egoistic point of view is a great mistake bound to increase the confusion. What we do with passion and intolerance cannot be divine, because the Divine works only in peace and harmony.  

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You are distressed because instead of listening to the voice of your soul, you have accepted the suggestions of vulgar minds and obscure consciousnesses who see ugliness and impurity everywhere because they are not in contact with the psychic purity.

Refuse to listen to these wrong suggestions, turn deliberately to the Divine and rekindle your faith in His Supreme Guidance.

 

The vital of some people calls always for confusion and disharmony, petty quarrels and confusion; they generally have also a kind of mania of perfection and believe that everybody is against them. To cure that is most difficult and requires a radical transformation of the nature.

The best when dealing with them is not to mind the reactions and go on doing what one has to do with simplicity and sincerity.

 

Do not worry about the reactions of people, however unpleasant they may be − the vital is everywhere and in everybody full of impurities and the physical full of unconsciousness. These two imperfections have to be cured, however long it may take, and we have only to work at it patiently and courageously.

 

Who has told you that your nature is inferior to X's? Each one has his own nature and follows his own path, and comparisons with others are always useless and most often dangerous.

 4 April 1934  

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Timidity is a form of vanity. When you are timid, it means that you attach much more importance to the opinion others have of you than to the sincerity of your action.

 

It is not necessary to attach any importance to the opinions of people because they are the passing results of passing impressions; other times and new impressions will easily change them.

 

He who is faultless does not care for the opinion of others.

 

Why should he listen to threats? He must act according to the  inner command and not according to public opinion.

 

When you give yourself to the accomplishment of an unselfish aim, never expect ordinary people to praise and support you− on the contrary, they will always fight against you, hate and curse you.

But the Divine will be with you.

 17 September 1953 

To be plastic towards the Divine means not to oppose Him with the rigidity of preconceived ideas and fixed principles. And this requires a great strength, for the more you are plastic to the divine will, the more you come in conflict with the human wills that are not in contact with the divine will.  

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Give your will entirely to the Divine and it will feel free from the imposition of any human will.

 19 September 1953  

Even if you were the only person in the whole world to give himself entirely and in all purity to the Divine − and thus being alone, misunderstood naturally by everyone upon earth — even if it were so, there is no reason why you should not do it.

 

I am shocked to hear that X has complained to you against me. I have been specially kind to her.

 

This is exactly the kind of treatment the Divine received from the world. Even Sri Aurobindo was not spared. So you see that you are in good company and there is no reason to despair!

 

Do not do your own will, but the Divine's will.

Do not either do other people's will, for you will be torn apart.  1972

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Attachment to Others

 

All that is based on human relationship is unstable and transient, mixed and unsatisfactory; it is only what is established in the Divine and through the Divine that can last and give satisfaction.

21 July 1935 

I am sure that in the conscious part of your being your relationship with X is what you say it is. But one must always be wary of the subconscious and that is why it is always preferable to have no [ … ] friendships and intimacies, because in the subconscious vital, ties are established which form an obstacle to the sadhana.

My dear child, my blessings are with you.  

 

A friendship free from desire and attachment might be the ideal solution, but to be carried out it requires a perfect mastery over oneself and an unshakable discipline of the vital and the body. And as for the moment it is not yet the case, it is wiser not to tempt the devil and to cut all relations.

 

There was a time when you were very passionate and your affections degenerated immediately into passions with all the disequilibrium that this entails.

But now you are more sober and undoubtedly you are more calm and quiet, until the day there will be no attachments any longer but luminous and sweet sympathies without any demand or egoism.  

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All depends upon the kind of attraction.

If it is a physical attraction, the need, the instinct of the animal pushing it to reproduction, the best thing is that you leave the place and not see X again. For this would mean that this person's influence awakens and encourages the lower instincts.

If it is a vital attraction you can try to purify and control it, by avoiding a too close intimacy and cutting down your relation to what is indispensable when living in the same house.

If it is a sentimental and emotional attraction, it is easier to channelise and turn it to the Divine by confining your relations to a common seeking for the Divine and the spiritual life.

Then all will depend on your sincerity and reciprocal goodwill.

             

I very much appreciate your frankness and your sincerity. It is true that it is extremely difficult to keep free from vital mixture any close relation with human beings. But the remedy is not to cut all such relations, but to be constantly vigilant (on one's guard) and not to allow the vital attractiveness to rule one's actions.

 29 August 1950  

Keep yourself free from all human attachment and you will be happy.

 6 June 1954  

Remembrance is a dangerous ally of attachment.  

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For the time being, it is better to keep quiet and concentrate on your inner development. Later, when you feel free from every trace of attachment, you will be able to resume your correspondence spontaneously and without difficulty; it will then be useful and profitable. But the rule is always to realise yourself what you wish to give to others.

 17 April 1956

Take advantage of the circumstances to get rid of all attachment to the members of your family.

You must learn that you have no more brothers, sister, father, mother, except Sri Aurobindo and myself, and you must feel free and unconcerned whatever happens to them. We are your whole family, your protection, your all in all. 

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