12 January 1965

The whole thing is to hold on. And to hold on, I have found only one way; it is this Calm, the inner calm ― a calm that has to become all the more... (how to say it?) complete, as the struggle is more material.

There has been for some time past (particularly since the first of January) a kind of bombardment of adverse forces ― a fury, you know. Then you must remain like this (Mother becomes immobile like a statue), that is all. And when physically you have been shaken, you must not ask too much of the body, you must give it a good deal of tranquillity, a good deal of rest.

The difficulty is that I am very much absorbed by the  condition of this body, it takes away much of my consciousness ― the physical mind, for example, invades me completely.  

Yes, I know it very well. But that is always the difficulty, the difficulty of everyone. That is why in the past they used to tell you, “Get away! Leave it alone to flounder about ― you get away.'' But we have no right to do that, it is contrary to our work. And you know, you can arrive very well at an almost absolute freedom with regard to your body, so much so that you can feel nothing, nothing at all. But I no longer have even the right to exteriorise myself, just imagine! Even when I am quite unwell or things are quite difficult or even when I am left a little quiet, that is to say, at night, and I say to myself, “Oh, to go into my blissfulness'' ― it is not permitted. I am bound there (Mother touches her body). It is there, there that it is to be realised.

It is for that.

Only from time to time, for a precise action (sometimes it comes like a flash of lightning, sometimes for a few minutes  

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only), the great Power that was there before, that used to be constantly felt, comes rushing, does its work, then goes away. But never on this body. It never does anything for this body ― it is not a higher intervention that will change it, it is... from within.

       The same thing is happening to you, it happens to everybody who does the work, and that is the difficulty. That is why I tell you: “It does not matter, do not worry if you are occupied with your body; only try to profit by that ― profit by this preoccupation ― to bring into it the Peace, the Peace.'' Always it is as though I was enveloping you within a cocoon of Peace. And then, if you could put, precisely into this mind that vibrates, stirs all the while, truly like a monkey, if you could put there... it is a Peace which acts directly in this material vibration ― a Peace in which everything relaxes.

      Do not think, do not think of trying to transform this physical mind or to silence it or abolish it; all that is still activity. Simply let it go on, but... put the Peace, feel the Peace, live the Peace, know the Peace – the ― Peace, the Peace.

       That is the only thing.

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24 March 1965

S had a rather bad dream. She came to a house over which one had to keep watch, and none had done it; enemies had entered. S went into this house, found a room and Sri Aurobindo was there with a wound in his foot; he was groaning. He had been wounded by the enemies who had been allowed to enter into house. Seeing Sri Aurobindo wounded, she ran, ran looking for you.

It is perhaps simply an image of what happened on February 11. ¹

The foot means something physical.

I believe it is that, it is only a symbolic image of what happened.

      It is not something that is going to happen?

Premonitory? No.

The foot means his physical action through some people or through the Ashram or through me.

I do not think it is serious. It is the image of what happened and it was recorded somewhere.

(Silence)

       It is quite a curious development. For some time past, but in a more and more precise manner, when I hear something or something is read to me, or when I hear music or someone narrates a fact, I feel immediately: the origin of the activity or the plane on which it is happening or the origin of the inspiration is rendered automatically by a vibration in one of the centres. And then, according to the quality of the vibration, it is either

¹ The Ashram was attacked by rioters. Some houses were looted and burnt. 

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constructive or negative, and when that touches, however little it may be, at a given moment, a domain of Truth, there is... (how to say it?) a spark, as it were, of a vibration of Ananda. And the thought is absolutely silent, immobile, nothing ― nothing (Mother opens her hands upward in a gesture of total self-offering). But this perception is becoming more and more precise. And I know in this way ― I know where the inspiration comes from or where the action is situated and the quality of the thing.

   And it has a precision! oh! infinitesimal in detail. The first time I felt it clearly was when I heard the music composed for “The Hour of God''; it was the first occasion and at that time I did not know that it was a well-organised thing, a kind of organisation of experience. But now, after all these months, that has been regularised and for me it is an absolutely sure indication, which does not correspond to any active thought, any active will ― I am simply an infinitely delicate machine for receiving vibrations. That is how I know where things come from. There is no thought. That is how the vibration of this dream came to me (Mother makes a gesture downward, under the feet); it was in the domain of the subconscient. So I knew that it was a matter of recording.

     The other day when Z read to me his article, it was neutral (vague gesture at mid-height), all the while neutral, then all of a sudden, a spark of Ananda; it was this which made me appreciate it. And just now, when you read this text of Y, there was a small ray of light (gesture at the height of the throat), then I knew. A pleasant ray of light ― not of Ananda, but a pleasant light, so I knew that there was something in it.

      And there are degrees, to be sure, almost an infinity of qualities.

      That is the way given to me for finding out the position of things.

    And it is quite, quite outside the thought. Only afterwards, when you asked me, for example, about the dream, I said,  

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“Logically, since the vibration is there (downward gesture), it must be a memory.'' And with a kind of certitude, because... because the perception is altogether impersonal.

 It is an extraordinarily delicate mechanism and its field of receptivity (gesture of gradation) almost infinite.

My way of knowing people is also like that now. But since a long time past, when I see a photograph, for example, it does not at all pass through the thought; these are not deductions or intuitions ― that creates a vibration somewhere. And then amusing things also happen. The other day I was given the photograph of someone, then I clearly felt it; by the place which was touched, by the answering vibration, I knew that this man had the habit of handling ideas and possessed the assurance of someone who teaches. I ask, in order to see, “What does this man do?'' I am told, “He does business.'' Then I say, “But he is not made for business, he understands nothing of it.'' And three minutes after I am told, “Ah, excuse me, please; he is a professor!'' (Mother laughs) It is like that.

And it is so constantly, constantly: the evaluation of the world, the vibrations of the world.

That is why I asked you to give me your hands just now. Why? It was just to have the vibration. Well, I felt what is called in English “a sort of dullness''. I said to myself: “He is not all right.''

And no thinking, nothing, simply like this (Mother remains still in a gesture of self-offering upward).

Then what is it that is not all right? (Mother laughs) Yes, it is that, it is a kind of dullness.

Yes, I am very much sunk in Matter. 

It is that. 

It is not funny. 

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No, but can't you get out of it?

I am harassed. And my body does not help me much either.

Ah, no, the body never helps; now I am convinced of it. You can to a certain extent help your body ― not very much, but still to an extent you can help your body. But the body does not help you. Always its vibration is on the ground.  

Yes, it is heavy. 

Without exception. Without exception it is a lowering and, above all that, it is something that makes you dull, dull ― it does not vibrate.           

It is heavy. 

But with this sadhana that I am following, there are some leading strings which one can pursue. I have some phrases of Sri Aurobindo.... For the other sadhanas I had the method: whatever he said was clear; that showed the way, one had not to search. But here he has not done it; only he has said or made some remarks from time to time and these remarks are useful to me (also there is the night when I meet him, but I do not want to count too much upon that, for ... you become too anxious to have this contact and that spoils everything). There are a few remarks that have been so retained by me and they are, yes, like leading strings; for example, “Endure ... endure.''

       Suppose you have a pain somewhere; the instinct (the instinct of the body, the instinct of the cells) is to shrink and to seek to reject ― that is the worst thing, that increases it invariably. Therefore, the first thing to teach the body is to remain immobile, to have no reaction; above all, no shrinking, not even  

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a movement of rejection ― a perfect immobility. That is bodily equality.

        A perfect immobility.

     After the perfect immobility comes the movement of inner aspiration (I always speak of the aspiration of the cells ― I use words for what has no word, but there is no other way of expressing it), the surrender, that is to say, the spontaneous and total acceptance of the supreme Will (which one does not know). Does the All-Will want things to go this way or that way, that is to say, towards the disintegration of some elements or towards… ? And there also, there are infinite shades: there is the passage between two heights (I speak of cellular realisations, do not forget that); I mean one has a certain inner poise, a poise of movement, of life, and it is understood that while passing from one movement to a higher movement, almost always there occurs a descent and then an ascent ― it is a transition. Then, does the shock you receive push you downward to make you rise again or does it push you downward to abandon the old movements? ― for there are cellular ways of being that should disappear in order to give place to other ways. There are others that tend to rise upward again with a higher harmony and organisation. This is the second point. And one must wait and see, without postulating in advance what should be. Above all, there is the desire ― the desire to be at ease, the desire to be in peace, all that ― which must absolutely cease, disappear. One must be absolutely without reaction, like this (gesture with palms open, of motionless offering upward). And then, when one is like that (“one'' means the cells), after a time comes the perception of the category to which the movement belongs, and one has only to follow in order to see whether it is something that has to disappear and be replaced by another thing (which is not known for the moment) or it is something that has to be transformed.

And so on. All the while it is like that.

All this is to tell you that the thought is absolutely immo- 

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bile; everything happens directly: a matter of vibration. Well, it is only in this way that one can know what one should do. If the thing passes through the mind, especially this physical thinking which is absolutely imbecile, absolutely, you cannot know; so long as it is working you are always led to do what you should not do, to have particularly the bad reaction ― the reaction that helps the forces of disorder and obscurity instead of counteracting them. And I am not speaking of anxiety, because for a very long time now there has been no anxiety in my body ― a long time, many years ― but anxiety is like swallowing a cup of poison.

This is what is called physical yoga.

One must overcome all that. And the only way to do it: at every second all the cells must be (gesture of motionless offering upward) in an adoration, in an aspiration ― an adoration, an aspiration, an adoration... and nothing else. Then after a time there is also delight, then that ends in blissful trust. When this trust is established all will be well. But... it is easy to say, it is much more difficult to do. Only, for the moment I am convinced that this is the only means, there is no other. 

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21 August 1965

Since the 15th there has been a whole work of preparation for the transformation. What could one call it?... a transfer of power.

The cells, the whole material consciousness obeyed the inner individual consciousness ― most often the psychic or the mental (but the mind has been silent since long). But now this material mind is busy organising itself like the other or rather like all the others, like the mind in all the states of being.

It is, as it were, a displacement of the directing will. And there, materially, physically, it is something like a surprise; and a need for identification with the new direction ― that is a little difficult. It is difficult also to explain.... It is no more the same thing which makes you act ― “to act'' means everything, to move, to walk, anything. It is no more the same centre. And then, if through habit you try to cling to the old centre, oh! it makes a great disorder and you must be very careful not to let the habit, the old habit, express itself, manifest itself.

     It is difficult to say. It is still too much only an action.

     Thought here, in this brain, finds it difficult to adapt itself.

Because for two days (two days continuously, I mean) there was all the while an aspiration: “How will this new world be when it becomes material here? How will this new world be?'' And then that put me so much “within'' that I was... I was not distant, but there was a kind of a thick blanket of haze between me and the world as it is. It was there even today. 

(Silence)

This morning, for example, several times, for some time (I do not know how long, but not very short, a quarter of an hour, half an hour, I do not know), the cells of the body, that is to say, the form of the body, had the experience that to remain  

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together or to be dissolved depends on a certain attitude ― an attitude or a will, something of both will and attitude. And with the perception (sometimes almost double at the same time, one being rather a memory and the other a thing lived) of what makes you move, act, know: the old way as a memory, and the new in which evidently there is no reason to be dissolved unless one chooses it ― that has no meaning, it is a meaningless thing: why be dissolved?

And if, at the time when one falls back ― it is not exactly that ― when the old consciousness comes back to the surface, if one is not very careful, that produces naturally a swoon.

During oh! it was long the whole time between five o'clock and quarter to six, it was like that.

That gives, at the same time, the feeling of the unreality of life and of a reality which one might call eternal: the feeling of death does not exist, it means nothing, it is merely a choice. And the dislocation, which has no meaning, which has no reason to be there, is a fantasy.

And then all the old way of seeing, feeling, perceiving, is there behind, like a kind of blanket-a blanket of haze, which renders the contact woolly, imprecise.

Now that I have regained the ordinary consciousness, I can express the thing; otherwise it would be difficult to express. And the contrast or the opposition is painful, a suffering; both complain: the old has the feeling that it swoons, and the new that it is not left quiet. When you are in one or the other, it is all right, but when the two are together, it is not very pleasant. And there is a kind of feeling of uncertainty; you do not know very well where you are, whether you are here or you are there; you do not know exactly.

But this change of initiating power, if one may say, this transfer of power, has had upon me the effect of a unique experience, of something that had never taken place before. Unhappily, that did not last long. But the experience has left a kind of certitude in the body ― it is less uncertain of the future. 

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It came to it, as if to tell it: “It will be like that.''

       If that remains, it is evident immortality.

How do you define this physical mind which was made the object of the transfer of power?

It is not the physical mind. It is long since the physical mind has changed.... It is the material mind ― not even the material mind: it is the mind of Matter. It is the mental substance which belongs to Matter itself, to the cells. That is what was once called the “spirit of the form'', when it was said that mummies kept their body intact as long as the spirit of the form persisted.¹

It is that mind, this wholly material mind. The other, the physical mind, was organised long ago.

Then what is the difference between this material mind and the physical mind?

The physical mind is the mind of the physical personality formed by the body. It grows with the body, but it is not the mind of Matter: it is the mind of the physical being. For example, it is this physical mind which gives the character ― the bodily character, the physical character ― and which is in a large measure formed by atavism and by education. All this is called the “physical mind''. Yes, it is the result of atavism, of education and of the formation of the body; it is what forms the physical character. For example, there are people who are patient, people who are strong, etc. ― physically I mean, not for vital or mental reasons, but purely physically; you have a character. It is

¹ In her talk of 10 March 1951, Mother said in connection with the violation of tombs in Egypt: “In the physical form is found the ‘spirit of the form’ and this spirit of the form persists for a certain time even when outwardly the person is pronounced dead. And as long as the spirit of the form persists, the body is not destroyed. In ancient Egypt they had this knowledge; they knew that if they prepared the body in a certain way, the spirit of the form would not leave it and the body would not disintegrate.''

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the physical mind. And this is part of all integral yoga; you go through the discipline of this physical mind. More than sixty years ago I did it.

But then, for example, this mind which is spontaneously defeatist, having all sorts of fears, apprehendsions, always seeing the worst, repeating always the same things, is it the physical mind or the material mind?

That is the most unconscious part of the physical mind and that is the link joining the physical mind and this material substance. But it is already an organised mind, you must understand. It is the most material part touching the mind.... How can one call this “mind''? You cannot even call it the bodily mind―it is the mind of the cells, it is a cellular mind.

This cellular mind exists in animals, and even a little (very little, as a promise) beginning in the plants ― they respond to a mental action. They do respond. As soon as Life manifests, there is already a promise of mind, of mental movement. And in animals it is clear. Whereas this physical mind truly begins to exist only in man. It is this which very little children already have; they already have a physical mind; that is to say, two babies are not the same, their reactions are not the same, there is already a difference. And it is this, above all, which is given to you with the special form of your body, by atavism, and then fully developed by education.

No, the physical mind, as soon as you take up an integral yoga, must be dealt with; but this material mind, the cellular one, I assure you, is altogether new, yes, altogether new.

It is the mind which was like an unco-ordinated substance, which was constantly active, but not organised (Mother makes a gesture of continuous trepidation). It is this which is now being organised. It is that which is important ― for Sri Aurobindo had said that it was unorganisable and it had only to be thrown 

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out of existence. And I too had the same impression. But when the action for transformation upon the cells is constant, this material mind begins to be organised. It is this that is wonderful ― it begins to be organised. And as it is being organised, it learns to keep silent ― that is most remarkable! It learns to keep quiet, keep silent and allow the supreme Force to act without interfering.

The greatest difficulty is in the nerves, because they are so accustomed to the ordinary conscious will that when it stops and the direct Action from the highest is asked for, they go mad, as it were. The other day I had this experience, which lasted more than an hour, and it was difficult; but this taught me many things ― many. And all this is what can be called the “transfer of power''; the former power withdraws; and then before the body adapts itself to the new power, there is a period which is critical. As all the cells are in a state of constant aspiration, it goes relatively quickly, but all the same ... the minutes are long.

But more and more there is a kind of certitude in the cells that whatever happens is in view of this transformation and this transfer of directing power. And even at the time when it is materially painful (not even physically: materially painful), the cells keep this certitude. And then they resist, they bear the suffering without depression, without being affected in any way, with this certitude that it is to prepare for the transformation, the process of transformation and of the transfer of directing power. As I said, it is in the nerves that the experience is the most painful ― naturally, because they are the most sensitive cells, those that have the most acute sensation. But they have a very considerable, very spontaneous, spontaneously strong receptivity ― without any effort ― to the harmonious physical vibra- 

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tion (which is very rare, but still it exists in some individuals). And this physical vibration, what might be called a physical force, a harmonious physical vibration (spontaneously harmonious, without the necessity of a mental vibration, like the vibrations of a flower, for example; there are physical vibrations like that, which carry in themselves a harmonious force) ― the nerves are extremely sensitive and receptive to this vibration, which puts them right immediately.

It is very interesting, it explains much, explains many things. A day will come when all this will be explained and put in its place. It is not yet the time to reveal, but it is very interesting.

I have truly the impression that it is being organised, the work has begun to be organised.

Naturally, one must carefully avoid allowing a mental organisation to intervene; that is why I do not try to explain too much; the mind would come in and then it is no more that. 

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