Notes On The Way
1964-73
Contents
1964
1965
1966
1967
1968
1969
1970
1971
1972
1973
4 June 1969
I looked into the matter a great deal after you left me last time, the whole day.... There is some sense that that¹ would be a wonderful solution. When you said it, something became concrete all of a sudden. But there was no personal sense within... the body has none at all, at all, no ambition or desire whatsoever or even aspiration to become that, but there was only a kind of delight in the possibility of “that'' being done; if it were done, it matters not who or where or how: only let that be done. And I looked at it with very, very close attention; not for a moment was there the idea: “It must be this'' (Mother pinches her skin with her fingers), you understand? It was: “Let there be this incarnation, this manifestation'' – not to choose one person or another, one place or another, no, nothing of that kind existed: it was the thing in itself which was like a wonderful solution. And so, that's all. And then the consciousness began to observe: if there is nothing in this body which “aspired'' to be that, it proves that this is not its work. Then there came that extraordinary Smile (I do not know how to express it), it was there, it passed and said... (one could translate it in quite a childlike manner): “It is not your business!'' And that's all. And then it was finished, I was not busy with it any more. “Not your business'' in the sense: this does not concern you; whether it is this or that or that, it is not your business. That is all. But what has become its business – in such an intense way that it cannot be expressed – is: “Thou, Thou, Thou, Thou.'' No word can translate it: the Divine, to use one word. It is everything. For everything – to eat: the Divine; to sleep: the Divine; to suffer: the Divine... Like that (Mother points both hands upward). With a kind of stability, of immobility.
¹ The glorious body. Page - 183
Is it an error to make a clean sweep of everything, to make it all empty?
O no! O no!
I have often asked myself whether I was wrong in my way of proceeding. My spontaneous way of proceeding is to sweep away everything, to make it all completely empty and then to turn towards something up above and to keep absolutely silent and immobile.
Yes, that is the best means, nothing can be better. That is what I am doing all the time. If one could only do that!... From all sides it comes like that (gesture as of waves attacking).
A little later. About the world situation.
Finally, I am fully convinced that the confusion is there to teach us how to live from day to day, that is to say, not to be preoccupied with what may happen, what will happen, just to occupy oneself day by day with doing what one has to do. All thinkings, pre-plannings, arrangements and all that, are very favourable to much disorder. To live almost minute by minute, to be like that (gesture upward), attentive only to the thing that is to be done at the moment, and then to let the All-Consciousness decide.... We can never know things even with the widest vision: we can know things only very partially – very partially. So our attention is drawn this way and that, and still other things are there. By giving great importance to things dangerous and harmful, you only add strength to them. Page - 184 (Mother goes into contemplation.)
When you are assailed by the vision of such disorder and confusion, you have to do only one thing, to enter into the consciousness where you see only one Being, one Consciousness, one Power – there is only a single Unity – and all this is taking place within this Unity. And all our insignificant visions and knowings and judgments and... all that is mere nothing, it is microscopic in comparison with the Consciousness presiding over All. Therefore, if one had the least sense of the reason why separate individualities existed, one would see that it was only for allowing aspiration, the existence of aspiration, of this movement of self-giving and surrender, trust and faith. And it is this that is the very reason why individuals were built up; and then, for you to become that in all sincerity and intensity... it is all that is needed. It is all that is needed, it is the only thing, the only thing that stays; all the rest... phantasmagoria. And it is the only thing valid in every case: when you want to do a thing, when you cannot do a thing, when you move, when the body is no more able to move... in every, every case, that only, only that: to come in conscious contact with the Supreme Consciousness, to be united with it; and... to wait. There ! It is then that you receive the exact indication of what you ought to do at each minute – to do or not to do, to act or to be stone still. That is all. And even to be or not to be. That is the only solution. More and more, more and more, the certitude is there: this is the only solution. All the rest is mere childishness. And all activities, all possibilities can be made use of in a natural way – it eliminates all arbitrary personal choice. All possibilities are there, all, all, all are there. All perceptions are there and all knowledge – only the personal arbitrariness has been eliminated. And this personal arbitrariness is so childish, Page - 185 so childish... a stupidity, a stupidity full of ignorance. And I feel, I feel like that (Mother feels the air) this agitation, oh! this whirl in the atmosphere! Poor humanity. (Long silence)
All that is for teaching the world to turn back to the Lord in its consciousness.... Why? It is for this that there has been a creation?
(Silence)
But I have a practical problem. Each time I form this emptiness, in order precisely to join myself up there... with this something, I feel that I have never had an accurate answer. It is such a massive Power that is there, so solid and then...
Ah! You never had an answer?
It is always the same thing, this Power which is there, impassive.
Well!
Yesterday, for example, during the meditation, it was the same thing – it is always the same thing – this Thing, massive, powerful, which is there but which does not want to say anything.
But don't you have the sense of a... I do not know how to explain, because it is not ease nor... I do not know how to explain, it is something which... no words can tell it, but it leaves you absolutely satisfied. Page - 186 One is well. Ah! Yes, one is well, that is certain.
Ah! So it's all right, it is that. Everything, everything else is useless.
Yes, but how to get the true, the correct impulse?
But it lies underneath that state.
It is underneath?
It is underneath. That state... I know, by experience, that it is the state in which one can change the world. One becomes a sort of instrument – that is even unconscious of being an instrument – but which serves (gesture showing the flow of forces through the instrument) to project the forces (gesture in all directions radiating from the instrument as the centre). The brain is altogether, altogether too small, is it not? Even when it is very big, it is too small to be capable of understanding; that is why there is this blank in the mind and the thing happens. And then you perceive that with regard to the needs of the little life you represent, it automatically comes to pass and you automatically do at every minute just what you have to do without... without calculating, without speculating, without deciding, nothing; it is like this (same gesture of flow through the instrument). I had the personal experience then, that if something is upset in the body (a pain, a discomfort or something that does not function properly), when you have gone through that state, it leaves you – it goes away, disappears. Acute pains even disappeared Page - 187 completely, one does not know how ! Ah ! gone – like that. And then, in the contact with people and in the contact with the things of life, a childlike simplicity. That is to say, one does things without... particularly without speculating. Well, it is like that. I try to be always in the state which you are describing, like that, whatever happens; and always – always, without exception – if there is anything to be done, I am made to do it. I cannot say anything else. It is so. I noticed that I am made to act differently at different moments with different people, and even the experience is very different – all that, the same thing, the same way, like that (gesture turned upward, without movement). Only, one must arrive at a state where there is naturally no more preference nor desire nor repulsion nor attraction, nothing – all that is gone. And above all, above all, no fear – particularly. That is the most essential of all things. Page - 188
About Mother's talk of 26 August 1953 on Love.
Mother, this power of Love that comes – it comes at times, one feels, one loves truly – but why is one not able to keep it constantly?
One must have the power to keep it !
I too think one must, but one is not able to keep it.
My child... it is here constantly, constantly, whatever the body may be doing – whether seeing people or being busy with itself or sleeping – it is always, always there, conscious, vibrant. I say, “It is possible''; it is a fact. Only, what is needed... what prevents it generally is that the physical consciousness in most men is very obscure; it is made only of the most material needs, desires, reactions. But what is needed is to awaken in the cells the love for the Divine; it is always so, all the time, and it does not change, does not change any more. It is even much more constant than any mental or vital movement; it is like this (Mother closes both her fists), it does not move. The cells are all the while like this, in a state of love for the Divine. What is most remarkable in the physical is that once it has learnt a thing it never forgets it. The cells, once they have learnt it, this self-giving, this offering to the Divine, this need of self-offering, have learnt it for good; it does not flicker any more. It is constant, twenty-four hours out of twenty-four, without stop and day after day, and there is no change. Even if there be something that is not all right (either a pain or something else), the first movement, yes, it is that, it is to offer itself, give itself – spontaneously. The higher consciousness does not intervene. It is spontaneous, it is the consciousness contained in the cells. It Page - 189 is the vital and the mental that are unstable in that way (gesture of zigzagging). Particularly, particularly it is the vital that is interested in all sorts of things. Naturally, the two are interdependent. The ego must be abolished, the rule of the ego must be abolished. But generally people believe that it is not possible to abolish the physical ego; not only is it possible, it has been done. And the body continues, continues to walk about, it is not gone (there was a little difficult moment – but just a little). Now the cells are wondering how it is at all possible to continue to exist without this movement of adoration. They are like that (gesture of intense aspiration), everywhere, everywhere. It is very interesting. All these difficulties that one has with the inner development when one is dealing with the vital and the mental, the revivals of old things and all that, now here (in the body) are gone; it is not like that. Page - 190
For a perfect realisation, the whole being must be illumined; but for the beginning of a realisation, it is probably easier for a body that does not possess a very developed mind.... For us, well, who have reached the maximum possibility of the mind, it is through the maximum that we have gone beyond: it is only when the mind had realised its maximum that it abdicated. And this is quite all right for the integral realisation, but generally the body is too much used to obeying the mind, it is not supple enough to be transformed. And that is why my mind has been sent away.... But that is a method which others cannot be encouraged to follow. For out of ten nine would die.
The mind?
If the mind goes away.
You think I would die?
The mind and the vital.
Yes, the vital, I understand, but if you removed my mind...
No, my child, I refuse to do it! (Mother laughs) It must... it must step down. A great passivity is needed for the Force to be able to pass through quickly and reach the body. I see that each time there is a pressure for acting upon one part of the body or another, the thing begins by an absolute passivity – which is... the “perfection of inertia''. You understand? It is the perfection of that which inertia represents as imperfect... something that has no activity of its own. It is just the most difficult thing for those Page - 191 who have a very well – developed mind, very difficult. Because the whole body has worked all its life for being just in this state of receptivity to the mind, which makes it obedient, passive, etc., and it is that which must be abolished. How to explain?... The development through mind means a constant and general awakening of the whole being, even the most material, an awakening as a result of which there is also something quite opposite to sleep. And to receive the Supreme Force, one must have, on the contrary, the equivalent of immobility – the immobility of sleep, but absolutely conscious, absolutely conscious. The body feels the difference. It feels the difference to such an extent that... for example, I stretch myself in the evening and I remain like that, for hours together I remain so; and if after a time I fall into ordinary sleep, my body wakes up in a terrible anguish ! And then it begins again to put itself back into that state. This anguish I feel from time to time – and it goes away as soon as it gets back into the true attitude, which is a state of immobility, but absolutely conscious. “Immobility'', I do not know how to say it.... But it is almost the opposite of the inertia in immobility. And it is that which is making me understand now the reason why creation began with inertia. And so, that state had to be rediscovered (Mother describes a big curve) after having gone through all the states of consciousness. And it is that which has given us... (Mother laughs) for us, it is a fine mess ! But when it is done purposely, it is no more a mess.
For me the difficulty that I meet very often is a need also of activity in aspiration. Yes, yes. I have the feeling that I must not stop actively aspiring. Often I could very well leave all that aside, without stirring, but.... Page - 192 Yes, but then the aspiration comes.
I feel the need of the activity of aspiration.
Yes, it is to counteract inertia. Because we still have inertia as our heritage.
But then, in such a case what is to be done? Should one let everything be spread out or... should one persist in this active aspiration that is truly intense?
It is difficult to say, because I am convinced that each one has his own way, but for this body the way is to have this active aspiration.
To have the active aspiration? Yes, but then it is no longer this immobility.
It has got the thing, it has understood the means, how to do it.
The two together, the union of the two?
Yes, they are together. That is what it succeeded in getting: a complete immobility and an intense aspiration. It is only when immobility is there without the aspiration that it falls into a frightful anguish which wakes it up immediately. It is that, an intense aspiration. And it is absolutely immobile, immobile within, as though all the cells became immobile.... It must be that. What we call intense aspiration must be the supramental vibration. It must be the divine vibration, the true divine vibration. That I have said to myself often. But if, even for a single minute, the body falls into the state of inertia – immobility without aspiration – it is awakened by an anguish as though it were going to die ! You understand? It is to that degree. For it, immobility means... yes, it has the Page - 193 feeling that the highest vibration, the vibration of the true Consciousness, is so intense that it is... it is equivalent to the inertia of immobility – an intensity which is not perceptible to us. So great is this intensity that it is, for us, equivalent to inertia. It is this which is getting established. It is this which has made me understand (because now the body understands), has made it understand the process of creation.... One might almost say that it began by a state of perfection, but unconscious, and that it must pass through this state of unconscious perfection to a state of conscious perfection, and between the two is the imperfection. Words are foolish, but you understand. (Silence)
You know, the feeling is that one is on the threshold of understanding. And it is not at all a mental understanding, not at all, not at all. (One has had that, but it is nothing, nothing, it is zero.) It is an understanding that one lives. And that the mind cannot have, cannot. And the feeling is that only the body – receptive, open, in any case partially transformed – is capable of having the understanding. Understanding the creation, what we call creation: why and how, the two things. It is not at all a thing thought out, it is not a thing felt: it is a thing lived and that is the only way of knowing.... It is a consciousness. But you know, when this understanding comes – it comes and then it becomes like this (gesture as of a luminous inflation), it comes like this and then it dwindles, and comes again and again dwindles; but when it does come, it is so obvious, so simple that one asks oneself why one was not able to know it before ! Still more time is needed.... How long, I do not know. But the notion of time is also quite arbitrary. We want always to translate all our experiences into the old Page - 194 state of consciousness and that is the misery ! We think it is necessary, it is indispensable – and it is stupefying. It delays awfully.
(Silence)
Everything, everything, everything that men have said, everything they have written, everything they have taught is only a way of saying. It is only to try to make oneself understood, but that is impossible. And when one thinks (Mother laughs) how much one has fought for things that are so relative !...
(Long silence)
Looking at the days as they pass and at things that happen, the experience of the body appears like this.... In some way, at some moments it is in the consciousness of immortality, and then, through influence (and still, from time to time, through old habit) it falls back into the consciousness of mortality, and that is truly... for it now to fall back into the consciousness of mortality is an awful anguish; and it is only when it comes out of it, when it returns to the true consciousness, that the thing vanishes. And I understand why there have been people, there have been Yogis who spoke of the unreality of the world; because, to the consciousness of immortality, the consciousness of mortality is an unreal absurdity. It is like this (Mother passes the fingers of one hand into the fingers of the other, indicating a coming and going of the two consciousnesses). So it is like this at one moment and like that at another. And the other state, the state of immortality, is immutably peaceful, tranquil, with... like staggeringly rapid waves, so rapid that they seem immobile. It is like that –nothing moves (apparently) in a tremendous Movement. And then as soon as the other state returns, all the ordinary notions also return, that is to say... in fact now, in the state where it is, that gives it the pain and the suffering of a falsehood. But it is still like that (same gesture Page - 195 of coming and going).... To come out of it, the only, the only effective way is just to give up, surrender. It is not expressed by words, nor by ideas, nor by anything; it is a state of vibration in which nothing but the Divine Vibration has any value. Then, then only, things are put back in order. But all that, as soon as one speaks of it... Note, however, that this is constant: it comes at night, it comes in the morning: and then at other times when... (gesture vast, united, with a smile) no more problems, no more difficulty, nothing. (Silence)
There is a background (it is that particularly), a background of unconscious negation which is behind everything, everything, everything, still; it is still there everywhere – you eat, you breathe, you receive this negation.... It is still a colossal work to transform all that. But when one is, as one might say, on “the other side'' (these are not “sides''), but in the other state, it appears so natural, so simple, that you ask yourself why it is not like that, why it appears so difficult; and then, as soon as you are on the other side, it is... (Mother holds her head within her hands). The mixture is still there, without doubt. Indeed, the ordinary state, the old state is consciously (that is to say, it is a conscious perception) that of death and suffering. And then in the other state, death and suffering appear as things absolutely... unreal. There ! Here, take it (Mother gives a flower of transformation). No impatience. A trustful patience. In truth, everything is for each one as good as it can be. All the time it is the old movements that get impatient.... That is to say, when one sees the all, one finds that certainly impatience has been created to counteract inertia – but now it is done with, that time has gone. Page - 196 |