Notes On The Way
1964-73
Contents
1964
1965
1966
1967
1968
1969
1970
1971
1972
1973
11 January 1971
After a long physical trial of about a month and a half, Mother made the following comments, which were noted down from memory by a disciple.
In physical vision a much more continued concentration is needed. Physical sight serves to stabilise. It gives a continuity to things. It is the same thing with regard to hearing. So, when they are not there any more, one becomes directly conscious of the thing, and that gives the true knowledge. The Supramental will surely act in that way. Physical sight and hearing have been thrown into the background to make room for identification by consciousness, for the sake of the growth of consciousness. The means for relating, knowing, is consciousness identifying itself with the thing or the person. Instead of having the normal sense of separation, there is the sense of constant union. There are experiences altogether interesting. There are people who call me and think of me. That comes into the field of my consciousness. And after a time I am told, “Such a person has come” or “Something has happened to such a person”, and I say, “I know.” At the time the thing had happened, I was not told anything, but I was conscious as though the thing had happened in a part of my own being. Page - 244
One of my legs had been dead for a long time (it is just beginning to revive), paralysed. One leg. So naturally, all became difficult.... But what was remarkable, I can tell you immediately, is that the consciousness established there (gesture above the head) became more and more strong, more and more clear; and it was constant. I worked, I continued to work, not only for India but for the world and in constant relation (“consulted'', you understand), actively. About transformation, well, I do not know.... What I have explained about “replacement of consciousness” is being done methodically, methodically, continually, continually, but then with... apparent damages or in any case, for a time, a great diminution of capacities. But it is a curious phenomenon with the sight and hearing: from time to time it is clear, as clear as it can be, and from time to time it is completely veiled. And that has very very clearly another origin – another origin of influence. It will take months, I believe, before I am able to see clearly. In any case, the general consciousness (same gesture above the head), what may be called the universal consciousness (in any case the terrestrial consciousness), has not moved for a minute – not for a minute. It remained there all the while. You have seen this note? ¹
Yes, Mother, I have seen it.
What did you think of it?
I thought it should be like that probably, it is a new functioning that is taking place.
¹ The preceding note of 11 January 1971. Page - 245 It is a new functioning. It is interesting.
Is it your perception of beings and happenings that has changed? Is it your way of perceiving that has changed?
Yes, altogether – altogether. It is very strange.... Actually, all this time has been utilised for developing the consciousness of the physical being. And this physical being (Mother touches her body) seems really to have been prepared for another consciousness, because there are things... its reactions are altogether different, its attitude is different. I have passed through a period of total indifference when the world represented nothing, meant nothing. And then, gradually, from there emerged a new perception, as it were. It is only on the way. But it was not an innocent paralysis ! For at least three weeks – at least – for three weeks, a constant pain, night and day, twenty-four hours out of twenty-four, without fluctuation, none: it was as though I was being torn asunder.... So there was no question of seeing anybody. Now it is finished. The pain is quite bearable and the body has resumed a little of its normal life. But I wanted to tell you that my consciousness was all the time active with you. Did you feel it?
I felt very strongly the Power.
Ah! That's it then.
Yes, and quite instantaneously, quite immediately.
It is good.
I thought particularly that if it came down into your leg, that would mean it came down wholly into Matter now. Page - 246 Yes, yes. I too took it in that way. It was not only the leg, but the lower part of the leg (Mother touches her feet).... But I noticed how things, the so-called catastrophes or calamities or misfortunes or difficulties, how all that comes just in the nick of time to help you – just as it is needed to help you.... Indeed, all that which in the physical nature belonged still to the old world, to its habits, its ways of doing and being, its ways of acting, all that could not be “handled'' in any other way than this: through illness. I cannot say that it has not been interesting. But I, on my side, kept contact with everyone even physically – I do not know if they remained conscious or not, but I kept contact with everybody. It depends on the receptivity of people. I did not feel at all that there was any rupture of relations or anything of the kind – not at all, not at all. Even at the time when, externally, I was suffering in that way and people thought I was wholly concerned with my suffering, it did not occupy me. I do not know how to explain... I was seeing quite well that this poor body was not very bright, but that did not occupy me. All the while there was the feeling of this... this Truth which has to be understood and manifested. And there was this note (how to say it?), it was the outcome of something and the beginning of something also, and in a very precise way. I do not know if it is understandable.
It is quite understandable.
It seemed to you understandable?
Yes, you said that the working of the sight and hearing was probably suppressed so that you might be directly conscious of things, without passing through the sense organs.
Yes, but this note is already a thing of the past, because I have Page - 247 begun again to see, but in another way. I have begun again to see and hear.
Basically, you see and hear as it is needed.
Yes, yes. Oh ! That is very clear, very clear. What I need to hear, I hear, even if it is the slightest sound; but all the noises of conversation, all the things that make so much noise, I do not hear at all!... Something has changed. But it is old – it is old, that is to say, old habits are there. But happily, I was not a person of habits.... Yes (Mother smiles), you can say: it is something tough that is in the process of changing ! So it is not supple, it is not easy. But the change is there, the change is evident. I have changed very much, even as regards character, as regards understanding, as regards the vision of things much, very much.... There has been wholly a regrouping. Only, I did not know how to make use of this note in an understandable way.
But, Mother, it is quite understandable.
It is all right. It is simply not to let people down in that way: all at once, nothing more. Afterwards, one is so far away that people do not understand at all.
(Silence)
Certainly, the principle of the new consciousness is that things are done just at the moment when needed, and then that is all.
Yes, yes.
There is no planning, no foreseeing. Page - 248 Yes, yes; exactly so. (Silence) The world is in a frightful condition.
But I never felt so much as now that the thing is at hand.
Yes, yes, yes, just so. Yes.
I have the feeling that it is near at hand.
Yes, yes, quite near at hand. (Silence)
There was a whole period when I was absolutely inaccessible because I was suffering continuously – one is worthless then. It was continuous, continuous. One might say that it was but a cry all the while. It lasted a long time, lasted several weeks. I did not count. Then gradually, it alternated with moments of calmness when I had no feeling of my leg. And it is only for the last two or three days that it looks as if it is being put back in order.... Yes, it was such... it was the whole problem of the world – a world that is nothing but pain and suffering, and a big note of interrogation: why? I tried all the palliatives that one uses: to change the pain into pleasure, to remove the capacity of feeling, to occupy oneself with some other thing.... I tried all the “tricks” – not a single one succeeded! There is something in the physical world as it is which is not... (how to explain?) which is not yet open to the divine Vibration. And it is this something which does all, all, all the evil.... The Divine Consciousness is not felt. And then, any number of imaginary things (but very real to the sensation) Page - 249 exist, and that thing, the only true thing is not felt.... But now it is better. It is better. It is truly interesting. I believe something may have been done on the general score – it was not merely the difficulty of one body or one person: I believe something has been done to prepare Matter to receive as it must, in a suitable way – it was as though it received in a wrong way and it has learnt to receive in the right way. It will come. Perhaps, I do not know if it will take months or years for the thing to become clear.
Then, before taking leave, the disciple reads out a note written by Mother.
I do not remember what it is.
It is a message you gave for the radio.
“We want to be messengers of Light and Truth. A future of harmony offers itself to be proclaimed to the world.”
Yes, it is all right ! It gives courage to people.
Yes, Mother, but as for me, I do not know, I have a very strong feeling that it is quite near. Yes. That is what I feel.
Yes, you are right. You are right. As for me, one must be absolutely blind not to see it. It has reached that point. Page - 250
I have the feeling that your look has changed much. (Mother nods approvingly.) For more than a year, and more and more, it is like that of Sri Aurobindo.
Yes?... (Mother smiles) Possibly !
Before, your look was a “diamond look”, a look... it was yourself, powerfully yourself. Now it is becoming like that of the infinite.
Oh! But my way of seeing is not the same.
Yes, just so, I wanted to ask you: when you look at people in this way, what is it that you see?
I believe I see... most exactly, it is their condition, the state in which they are. Especially, there are some who seem as though closed, who, as far as I am concerned, do not see, who are altogether in their outward consciousness; and then there are those who are open – there are... some children, a remarkable thing, who were as though entirely open (gesture as of a flower to the sun), ready to absorb. It is particularly the receptivity of people which I see, the state in which they are: those who come with an aspiration, those who come with a curiosity, those who come... as though with a kind of obligation, and then there are those who thirst for light – there are not many of them, but there are quite a few children. Today I saw one who was charming ! ... Oh, wonderful ! And I see only that. Not what they think, what they say (all that appears to me superficial, uninteresting); it is the state of receptivity in which they happen to be. It is that particularly which I see. (Silence) Page - 251 I believe really that it is among the children that will be found those who can begin the new race. Men are... crusted over. Well, I am constantly struggling against people who have come here so that they may be comfortable and “free to do whatever they like”, so... I tell them, “The world is big enough, you can go out” – there is no soul, no aspiration, nothing. You know my feeling? They are all, all old and I am the only one to be young ! It is that, yes, this flame, this will... what they call “push”. To be satisfied with petty personal satisfactions... which take you nowhere, busy with what they are going to eat, oh !... I have the feeling that now there is a sort of “display” (you know, “display”?), a show of all that should not be. Yes.
But the flame, the flame of aspiration (Mother shakes her head), there are not many who bring it. Provided they are what they call “comfortable”, it is all they need – and free to do some nonsense which they would not do in the world!... On the other side, one feels that to hasten the – one could hasten it if one were... if one were a conqueror ! Page - 252
One really feels that the world is in turmoil.
Yes, oh, yes !
And individuals. (Silence)
Since the morning, it has been like – strikes, quarrels, disorders.... And then the feeling that order must be re-established with the help of those who have created the disorder. That is the thing to be done. Instead of the basis of ordinary goodwill and all the moral and social rules – all that dashed to the ground – one must rise above, the divine Will and the divine Harmony must be there, it is that which we want; and then those who have revolted against the ordinary law of things and the ordinary social conventions: prove that you are in relation with a higher consciousness and a truer truth. It is time to do it (gesture of a leap upward). And from the point of view of organising power, it is a power... extremely powerful. It is a wonder. And then, if this power is placed at the disposal of the higher order, the truer consciousness, something can be done. One must... must make a leap upward. All the people who want to re-establish order pull backward into all the old ideas – that is why they never succeed. That is finished, finished for good. We go upward. Only they who rise can act. (Long silence) You have nothing? Nothing to ask? Page - 253 I do not know very well in which direction I am moving.
There is only one direction – towards the Divine. And as you know, it is as much inward as it is outward, as much upward as downward. It is everywhere. It is in the world as it is that one must find the Divine and cling to Him – to Him alone; there is no other way. Page - 254
If the Lord wants success for us, it can be something tremendous. There is the possibility of a tre-men-dous success – not in the air, but here. The whole thing is to know whether the time for that success has come. (Long silence)
Everywhere there is the possibility, I tell you, of an... extraordinary success. Has the moment come? I do not know.... As for myself, I make myself like this (gesture of smallness), physically quite small, and I leave... (gesture of arms open wide towards the Lord). You see, there is the Will that is coming down and then there are all these formations that get in and delay its execution – I would like, I would like my atmosphere to be... a limpid, altogether limpid transmitter. I do not try even to know what it is, for that too brings in an ordinary humanity.... The limpid, limpid transmitter: let it come like that (gesture of descent), pure, in all its purity – even if it be formidable. In reality, we do not know why this is like that, why that is like that, and we have a vision... even if our vision englobes the earth, it is so small, so small – so exclusive: we want this, we do not want that.... First of all, the very first thing is to make the instruments... one must be limpid, limpid, letting things pass without deformation, without obstruction. Indeed, I am spending my time at that: trying to be like that.
But this possibility of victory that you are feeling, is it something recent?
Yes. Page - 255 It is recent. Because, apparently, the circumstances are evidently not so good – apparently.
Oh ! You know... all the circumstances seemed to organise themselves for a catastrophe.
Yes.
Only a few days ago it was as though the catastrophe was impending. And then, at that moment, my whole being was, as though... (how to say it?) it was, yes, one might call it an aspiration for the true Victory, not that which this one wants or that one wants or... but the real Victory. It is this which seems to have brought in all the difficulties – these exclusive wills. And then, all at once there appeared as though a light: the possibility of the Victory. It is still... it is not miraculous, but it is the Intervention... the intervention of the Supreme Wisdom. Will it be concrete? We will see. It seems to come, it seems to come in this way (gesture of a certain height, the two palms turned downward), as a possibility. No, it is recent, quite recent. I cannot say, for it did not come suddenly, but it is a question of days.
Yes, because for some time I was feeling a great pessimism.
That is a bad attitude.
I did not have that attitude, however, but it was as though a pessimistic atmosphere was coming in.
All that does not want the Divine creates this atmosphere purposely to discourage those who want the Divine. You must... you must not pay attention. That, that is the way of the devil. Pessimism is the demon's weapon and he senses his situation Page - 256 (gesture of shaking). Well, if what I see as possible is realised, it will be truly a decisive victory over the adverse forces – naturally, he defends himself as best he can.... That, it is always the devil; as soon as you see even the tail of pessimism, it is the devil. That is his great weapon. Page - 257 |